TITLE: THE CAVE (Part 1 of 4 Parts)
THEME AND DAY: PART I — SHELTER
GENRE: Angst, Romance/Humor
BETA READER: RayneLover101 – Thanks for all you help.
WARNING: Boy/Boy; Not Canon
SUMMARY: YULLEN WEEK 2012 – Kanda and Allen become friends, then lovers – what else could they become? The odds are stacked against them. First the fourteenth is popping in and out, and then there's the Central Agency's verdict about Allen's standing within the Black Order. Is their relationship strong enough to hold together through the perils they face?
Part I - It's perfect! This is a place for him to take refuge away from prying eyes, the million questions, and his fake smile he wears to appear as if he's happy. That is, it was perfect until a hooded dark figure comes rushing into the cave. Allen knows who it is before he even removes his hood, Kanda. Evidently, this is Kanda's refuge as well.
DISCLAIMERS: D. Gray-man and characters belongs to Katsura Hoshino's: Allen Walker (Bean Sprout), Kanda Yu, Intruder (mine)
A/N: Yullen Week 2012 – Day 3 ~ SHELTER ~ Happy Birthday Kanda and Allen.
THE CAVE – PART I ~ THE SHELTER
Leaves swirl helter-skelter around Allen as he walks solemnly in silence, his shadow, Link, is not far behind him. Where ever Allen is, Link's there too, he supervises Allen 24/7. This is due to the fourteenth Noah who possesses Allen, trying to take over his mind and body.
Allen's shoulders slouch forward as if carrying a heavy weight upon them, his muscles tight and rigid with knots. Dark circles curve under his eyes resembling bruises from lack of sleep, the taut skin on his face makes it apparent he's under stress. Having the fourteenth fighting to come out has complicated his life more and more each day, depleting his health.
'What I need right now is to get away from Link, I need to be alone to think,' Allen sighs, knowing Link will never let him out of his sight.
A light cool breeze blows on his face as he closes his eyes and inhales the fresh air. Overhead, dark clouds are quickly forming, bringing on a sudden effusion of rain, so heavy you couldn't see in front of you.
'This is my chance.' Allen doesn't think any further, but takes off in a dead run into the forest. Link is not aware he's gone until it's too late.
Allen runs as if running for his life, strong winds forcing the sheets of rain pulverizing his face and body. He stops for a moment to catch his breath, and to look behind him – no Link.
When he turns his head back around, his eyes catch what appears to be a hole in the side of the hill next to him, he goes to investigate. Sure enough there is a small cave which snuggles amongst the vines hidden in the hillside. Allen quickly goes inside to get out of the stormy rain.
It's perfect! This is a place for him to take refuge away from prying eyes, the million questions everyone asks, and his fake smile he wears to appear as if he's happy. Maybe, just maybe, he could escape the fourteenth as well, and regain his strength over him, or defeat him.
That is, it was perfect until a hooded dark figure comes rushing into the cave. Allen knows who it is before he even removes his hood, Kanda. Evidently, this is Kanda's refuge as well.
He throws back his hood wearing a scowl on his face. 'Why the hell is that idiot Bean Sprout here,' Kanda is thinking. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Allen shivering. 'The moron looks like a drowned rat, his clothing and coat soaked from not buttoning up his coat, the damn idiot.'
"So, where's your shadow, Bean Sprout?" Kanda asks, flatly, annoyed with Allen's presences in his cave.
"I managed to get away from him when the rain fell in torrents," Allen replies, biting his lip.
Kanda figures he's saddled with the damn Sprout, for now, with the downpour of rain, so he might as well make the best of it.
Kanda walks over to the side of the cave for firewood. Allen, still standing there, isn't sure what he should do. Maybe Kanda wants him to leave. Allen feels disheartened, he had thought he'd found a place to hide. He picks up his coat and puts it on to quietly slip out of the cave.
"Where the hell do you think you're going?" Kanda asks, with a raised eyebrow, thinking how ridiculous it is for Allen to leave the cave in this raging storm.
"I just figured you'd want me to leave," he says, somberly, hanging his head.
"Don't be a stupid baka. When I get this fire going, you should take your wet clothes off to dry them," an annoyed Kanda replies. 'Why the hell should he care if the Sprout dies of hypothermia?'
Allen looks shocked – 'remove all my clothing – in front of Kanda? What am I suppose to wear?' Kanda senses what Allen's thinking and removes his coat.
"You can wear my coat to cover yourself. If you hadn't been so stupid and had buttoned your coat up you wouldn't be soaked, moron." Kanda throws his coat over to Allen. He removes his clothing and puts on Kanda's coat. It's still warm from his body and it holds his scent, maybe Kanda isn't so bad after all.
Allen arranges his clothing around the fire to dry then sits down to warm himself. He says nothing, but goes inside himself to deal with the emotional pain that never leaves him.
Kanda keeps his eyes on him as Allen stares into the fire as if mesmerized. 'Is that sadness I see on his face? Hmm, funny he hasn't given me his fake smile this time, nor has he tried to have a conversation with me,' Kanda's thinking. 'I've never seen him quiet like this it's a whole new side of him.'
Allen leans back against the wall of the cave, closing his eyes, deep in thought. 'Why is Kanda being so nice to me? Ah, it doesn't matter I'm too tired to think about it. I've got too many emotions going on right now. I don't know whether to scream and punch something or someone, or just sit here and cry. Now that I need my Master he's dead. So many people I love are gone. I feel so alone.'
He puts his head down on his knees knowing tears are fighting to come out. 'I don't want Kanda to see me this way, but damnit, what differences will it make. I don't need to impress or please him, he'll just have to deal with my emotions or leave.' Tears flow, allowing Allen to collapse with them.
Kanda continues observing the Sprout. Neither says anything to each other. He hasn't seen Allen cry except for dead Akuma once in a while. Allen's heart's too soft for his own good.
'There's no mistaking he's having more than a bad day. He's carrying some pretty heavy baggage and it's weighing him down. I don't know how he stands up to the treatment the Black Order's been dishing out to him recently.' Kanda looks over and admires the Sprout for the strength he shows in public.
After their first encounter in the cave, it had become a routine to meet there quite often over the following months, at least as often as Allen could get away from Link. While Kanda sits silent in meditation, Allen sits quietly wrapping himself into his own little world, neither speaking unless there is a need. They become comfortable being in each other's presences as well as feelings start to evolve for each other.
Evolve they did, to the point they start to question themselves as to why they are on each other's mind most of the time. It appears as if their emotions are starting to become deeper for one another.
"Allen, please come help me with filing in Komui's office this evening," Lenalee pleads with Allen.
"I'm sure if you check with Link I have to be in the library tonight," Allen replies, hoping to get Lenalee to leave him alone.
"Allen, are you mad at me?"
"Of course not, it's just Link has a lot of work for me to finish," Allen says, with a big smile on his face, hoping this will appease her.
Kanda sits his tray down at the other end of Allen and Lenalee's table. 'Well, there's that fake smile of his again, and acting like he's happy. What gives with him anyway? Che, I've been thinking too much about the Sprout lately. Probably the fact we've been around each other too much.'
Allen glances down at Kanda. 'I was hoping Kanda would've sat closer to me,' Allen's thinking, 'I guess I've spent so much time with him in the cave, I miss him when he's not around me. I wonder why I keep thinking of him so much.'
Lavi comes over to their table and sits his tray down across from Kanda. Allen couldn't stop himself from another glance down the table at the two of them. It seems to Allen, from the way they are talking Lavi is Kanda's boyfriend. 'I wonder if they do have a relationship,' Allen thinks as he's looking at them.
"Ah, come on Kanda. Meet me in the library tonight. We haven't met in a long time. I miss our nights reading together," Lavi says, pouting at Kanda.
"I just haven't felt like it. I've had other things on my mind," Kanda replies, looking down at Allen, who quickly looks away. 'Maybe I will – Bean Sprout's going to be working in the library tonight.'
Kanda didn't want to tell Lavi he's been spending time with Allen and is actually enjoying his company. It is not like Lavi and he are lovers, or anything of the sort, he just doesn't see Lavi in that way – at all. 'Now Bean Sprout … there's just something there between us, I can't put my finger on it,' Kanda ponders the thought.
"Kanda you didn't answer me. Will you meet me tonight in the library?" Lavi asks, again, anxious for a yes answer.
"Okay Lavi, just to shut you up! I'll see you there in a couple of hours," Kanda snaps, 'what are a few hours with him, anyway I'll get to see Bean Sprout.'
"Alright," Lavi says, with a huge grin on his face.
Allen's listening to their conversation, 'It's none of my business if Kanda and Lavi are lovers. Then why am I feeling … jealous?'
Allen's thinking is interrupted when Rouvelier comes into the cafeteria. He walks up to Allen and Link's table. Kanda and Lavi look up to see what's happening.
"Allen I want to see you immediately in my office," Rouvelier says, glaring at him.
"Link I want the CROW Binding Spell placed on Allen before you bring him into my office, understood," Rouvelier orders. Link's standing at attention and salutes at the Inspectors order.
'Now what's the matter? Did something happen that I'm unaware of? Please don't humiliate me in front of everyone by binding me here,' Allen cringes, thinking to himself.
"In fact, bind him now and bring him to my office," Rouvelier barks his orders, turning on his heels, and marches out of the cafeteria.
Link frowns at this, thinking it's totally unnecessary to have to bind Allen. Allen catches the look on Kanda's face as Link starts the binding spell. 'What does Kanda think of me now?'
"Is that really necessary Link?" Kanda asks, angrily.
"If head of Central Agency request it be done, then yes, it's necessary," Link says, quietly, hating he has to do this to Allen.
"Well, it sounds stupid to me, what's Bean Sprout going to do anyway?" Kanda asks, disgusted.
Link walks Allen out of the cafeteria slowly. The binding spell weights him down heavily, he shuffles as he walks, just like any other prisoner. 'Is Kanda concerned for me?' Allen could only hope he is.
On his way to Rouvelier's office, with Link, Allen keeps thinking about Kanda. 'What are these strange feelings I'm experiencing when I'm in his presence. I like being with him, and I enjoy our times in the cave alone. He just seems to act differently towards me in the cave than when we're out on mission together.'
Arriving at the Inspector's office, Link opens the door for him to enter. 'Well, I guess I'll have to face the old geezer, and see what I've done wrong now,' Allen rolls his eyes at Link. He swore he had seen a hint of a sneer on Links face.
They walk up to his desk and Rouvelier begins his little inquest with Allen. "Walker, I've heard you have been walking the grounds without Link with you. Link is to be near at all times!" Rouveiler' shouts at him, his beady black eyes piercing through him.
"Is this something that has been going on for a long time? Are you trying to escape from head quarters before the verdict of your status with the Black Order is rendered?!" The Inspector bellows, in Allen's face, spitting on him. Allen turns his head away from the spray coming out of the Inspector's mouth, disgusted.
"What makes the informer think that? Maybe Link was just out of their range of view and appeared as if I was alone. I have not tried to escape, nor been alone," Allen says, in a humble voice, his head hanging. He's not really lieing, because either Link, or Kanda has always been with him at all times.
Rouvelier looks over at Link with a scowl on his face, "Well, Link? What do you have to say about this matter? Have you always been with him when he's out of his room?"
"Sir, if you had come to me first, I could have told you, Allen has not been out of my sight, unless sleeping, and for that I lock the door," Link explains, standing at attention, looking straight ahead.
"Alright, I'll let this matter sit for now, but make sure he under watch at all time!" the Inspector hisses at Link. "You dismissed, both of you, get out of here," he barks at them, disgust heavy in his tone.
Allen's glad to have his meeting over with Rouvelier and be back in the library. Sitting at his table he begins looking at paperwork and mulling over the books when he overhears Lavi and Kanda's conversation.
"Kanda, what's the matter with you? You're not paying any attention to me. Come on tell me what's going on? Does this have anything to do with Allen?" Lavi asks, in his usual loud and obnoxious voice, according to Kanda anyway.
Allen almost jumps out of his chair hearing Lavi mention his name. 'Does Lavi know about Kanda and I out in the cave? I didn't think anyone knew about our meetings. Why am I feeling guilty? It's not like we're lovers meeting in secret.'
"So what if it does? We don't have the type of relationship you're wishing for Lavi, it's not going to happen," Kanda snaps, not wanting to discuss Bean Sprout with the redhead baka Lavi.
"Are you saying then, there is something going on between you and Allen?" Lavi asks, now very interested.
"I'm not saying anything except we don't have the type of relationship you're hoping for, now or ever," Kanda says, sternly, getting his point across to Lavi.
Allen hears the slamming of a book, and heavy, almost stomping, footsteps coming down the aisle towards him. Quickly, he looks at his work as if he's busy. Lavi comes into view, he stops at Allen's desk and stares at him.
"Is there something I could help you with, Lavi?" Allen asks, innocently.
"No!" he says, angrily and stomps off leaving Allen feeling relief there isn't a relationship between Lavi and Kanda.
"Allen, will you take these books up back and place them on the shelf? You'll see the section on the paper where to file them," Link says, hiding a slight grin on his face. 'Is that a grin I see on Link's face? No, can't be … not Link,' Allen wonders as he picks up the books to file away.
With books in hand, he heads to the back of the library to file them. Turning into the aisle, there's Kanda leaning against the bookcase, arms folded across his chest, staring at him. Allen's heart almost stops, 'is he smirking at me?'
The section he needs is next to Kanda. Nervously, Allen stands next to him as he places the books on the shelf. Kanda moves in back of him and presses his body into Allen's back. Kanda's arms surround Allen as he places his hands on the shelf in front of them – Allen's heart is pounding out of control.
'He's standing so close I can feel the heat radiating off his body.' There is tingling feelings spreading throughout Allen's body. 'I swear if he pushes any closer to me, I'm either going to melt into him or faint.' Allen feels his body quiver.
"Am I making you nervous Bean Sprout?" Kanda whispers into his ear, his warm moist breath exciting him.
"Maybe …" Allen swallows hard, not sure what to think of Kanda's advance on him.
"Good," and with that he walks away leaving Allen frustrated as to what had just happened between them.
"Allen let's finish up so we can call it a night," Link yells back to Allen.
"Okay Link," his voice sounding unstable.
Suddenly, Allen starts to feel strange. Something's wrong. 'Can it be the Noah trying to come out again? I have to get out of here, but without Link.'
Link passes Allen in the aisle with his arms loaded with books as Allen heads back to the front. Without really thinking Allen rushes out of the library towards his room, 'oh no, not again!'
Rushing blindly down the hallway someone grabs Allen's arm and pulls him into a semi-dark corridor, it's Kanda. Relief shows on his face then the strange feeling over takes him. Kanda's hands are on both Allen's arms.
"Well, well Yuu Kanda, we finally meet. Seems we have the same boy in mind. He's not yours Kanda, Allen belongs to me. You'll never have him because I will take over his mind and body," says the fourteenth.
Shock shows on Kanda's face. He didn't expect to see the Noah surface out of Allen, at least not to him. 'So, this is what the Sprout's be dealing with.'
"Bean Sprout's stronger than you are, he'll push you down until you disappear," Kanda states, matter-of-factly.
Allen struggles inside to come back to the surface. Luckily, he over comes the Noah as Link rounds the corner. Allen looks into Kanda's eyes pleading to him.
"What's happening here?" Link demands.
Allen looks at Link then back into Kanda's eyes, 'its Kanda's decision if he's going to tell about the Noah surfacing.'
"Nothing Link, Bean Sprout looked faint, so I grabbed him by the arms to hold him up," Kanda lies, trying to keep Allen out of trouble. 'The kid has enough problems to deal with; this would just complicate his life even more.'
"Well … that can happen after he's been bound for a while, thank you Kanda. Allen, we need to get back to your room for the night," Link commands, and waits for Allen to lead the way.
Allen looks into Kanda's eyes a 'thank you' shines from them. 'Damn the Black Order,' Kanda bristles, as the two walk away.
The next morning in the dining hall, Kanda sits not next to Allen, but much closer than usual. Komui comes in to tell Allen he's going on a mission, and apologies that they'll have to bind him again.
Komui won't allow Allen to be bound in front of his friends, asking for it to be done outside the cafeteria. Allen stands up holding his head high, says lightly to his friends he'll see them when he gets back, then dares a quick glance toward Kanda and smiles.
'That idiot! How can he smile with what they have been doing to him?' Allen walks with the group out of the cafeteria and Kanda quickly stands to follow them.
"So Kanda, I thought there wasn't anything between the two of you," Lavi says, snippily, not happy about Kanda's reaction to Allen's situation.
"Shut up Lavi," Kanda snaps in a tone of voice which left no room for argument.
When Kanda gets to the hallway, Allen's standing with both arms bound. His head hangs low as if a great weight has been placed on him. He shuffles away with the group.
There's an overwhelming heaviness in Kanda's heart and his eyes widen at the realization, 'Am I falling for the Bean Sprout?'
For the next two days, Kanda's gone to the cave to mediate. 'I wonder when he'll return.' He thinks back to when he had seen the Noah that day. 'So he thinks Bean Sprout belongs to him, eh? Well he doesn't belong to him, the Sprout's stronger.'
Kanda gets up needing to go out for a walk to subdue his frustrations. When he returns, Allen is sitting in his normal spot head on his knees sobbing.
Placing the wood in the pile with the others, he walks closer to Allen. He's never sat near Allen, but for some reason his heart's aching seeing him cry this hard. He can only imagine what the kid's going through. He sits down close to Allen with their shoulders touching.
"You can cry all you want Bean Sprout, I'll sit here with you," Kanda whispers, wondering why he feels he wants to do this.
Allen falls into Kanda's arms sobbing, not caring what he might think of him. 'He's offered and I need him right now, the emotional pain is too intense. I just can't handle it anymore …'
Not knowing what to do, Kanda places his arms awkwardly around Allen rubbing his back up and down with his hand to sooth him. Being this close to Allen he inhales his scent sending tingling feelings through him. Then he feels Allen stiffen in his arms and pull away from him. 'What …'
'No, no, no, not now, I feel the Noah taking over again.' Allen starts panicking.
"I guess I didn't make myself clear, Kanda. Allen belongs to me and I'm getting stronger. So you better prepare yourself to lose him," the Noah smirks at Kanda.
"No way fourteenth are you taking the Bean Sprout … he belongs … it doesn't matter … you'll never take him. Do we understand each other? If he needs help fighting you I'll be right there beside him fighting you until the end," states a determined Kanda.
"Well … aren't you just the hero Kanda, but I'm the one who has him chained right now and he's losing his reasons to stay alive anymore. You know they treat him very badly," says the Noah, enjoying every minute of riling Kanda.
"Bean Sprout you moron! Listen to me … you better be fighting like hell to get out of there and get back here! Do you hear me?" Kanda yells, firmly holding on to Allen's arms shaking him.
Having heard Kanda's voice had given Allen the strength needed to break free of the chains holding him prisoner and re-surfaces. 'He does care about me,' Allen thinking. Kanda sees Allen return.
"Damnit, Bean Sprout! You're stronger then the fourteenth! Moron! You have to keep fighting him! Don't let him win. I know you can win this battle against him. Don't every give up! Do you understand me you damn idiot?" Kanda says, sternly at Allen.
Kanda isn't sure where all these emotions are coming from, nor the intense need for Allen to fight till the end. All he knows is these are strong feeling towards Allen. In fact, they're so strong all he wants to do is protect him.
Kanda wants to yank the Sprout back into his arms, once again, and bury his head into his shoulder and hold him tightly. Instead, he manages to pull himself together enough to say without choking, "Idiot, we better head back before Link starts tearing his hair out."
Later, back inside headquarters, Link and Allen are finishing up dinner. Kanda and Lavi are sitting just down from them. Allen's afraid to look over at Kanda fearing his emotions and feelings would be all over his face.
"Allen, I have to leave you alone tonight. I'll trust you'll behave yourself. I have an errand to do for Central Agency. I know you're not sleeping well, but could you try to get more rest tonight? I'll be back by late morning."
"Of course I'll behave myself. I'll go to the library to do some work and then head to my room for the rest of the night," Allen says, relieved he'll have at least tonight without his shadow. Though, Allen's unsure how he feels about being alone right now with the fourteenth showing up so often.
"Very well, then I'll see you mid-morning tomorrow."
Link gets up and glances down at Kanda, Kanda returns the stare. Link then turns and walks away leaving Allen alone at the table. 'Does Link know about the Sprout and me – that there's something developing between us? Is there something developing between us?'
Without looking at anyone, Allen picks up his tray, and brings it back to Jerry, the cook, and walks out of the room, not glancing at Kanda.
Allen works in the library until late. Stretching and yawning he still doesn't want to be alone in his room tonight. 'Link tells me to get more rest. What the hell does he think I've been trying to do? I'm exhausted. I just don't feel safe, especially since Master was killed.'
Allen pushes himself away from the table, shuts off the desk lamp and starts back to his room. He slowly approaches his door and stops. He glances at the door next to his – Kanda's. 'I wonder if he's still up.' Allen stands in front of the door undecided what he should do. All he wants is to sleep, Kanda's would be safe.
He didn't have to decide, Kanda's door opens. He's standing in front of him in his pants, no shirt, and bare feet. Allen gulps. Kanda extends his hand to him. Taking his hand, and with a gentle tug, Kanda brings him into his room.
"I can't sleep … actually … I'm afraid to go to sleep," Allen says, looking into Kanda's dark blue eyes, sheepishly.
"Take off your boots. You can stay here tonight. I'll watch out for the Noah," Kanda says, quietly, knowing Bean Sprout desperately needs sleep.
Allen takes off his boots and his shirt. Kanda notices the dark circles under Allen's eyes seem even darker tonight. He takes him by the hand leading him to the bed.
"Get in, you need your sleep," Kanda orders, quietly, suddenly feeling very tired himself.
Allen obeys and climbs into bed. Kanda blows out the candle. The only light in the room is the moon shining in from the window. Kanda climbs into bed and lies down facing Allen.
"Go to sleep, Bean Sprout."
Allen closes his eyes, content and feeling safe, he falls asleep quickly. Kanda watches as he sleeps. 'Yes, the Bean Sprout's planted deeply in my heart now.' Kanda closes his eyes, listening to the light breathing of Allen as he drifts off to sleep.
To be continued …