Title: Voluntary Miracles
Word count: 11,431
Summary: Seblaine Mini Bang/Holiday Exchange Prompt 12. Despairing and lonely after breaking up with Kurt, Blaine visits Dalton and discovers Sebastian has quit the Warblers and won't even talk to them. Determined to find out why, Blaine finds someone who recognises his loneliness and hides dark secrets he never expected.
Notes: Full prompt is at the bottom of the story but it will basically spoil the general plot of what happens if you read it first.
Disclaimer: I am in no way associated with Glee, FOX, Ryan Murphy or anything else related to the Glee universe.
Blaine hadn't visited Dalton since watching the Warblers sing I Want You Back and Sebastian's slithering dance moves. The subsequent disaster of getting slushied a couple of days later and then Karofsky's attempted suicide had left him bereft from those he'd once considered close friends and after three ignored calls, Sebastian had stopped calling him as well.
It was different now though. He was on his own, clutching a cardigan to his chest with some Grease brochures. He didn't expect any of them to come when he had such a tiny role but he didn't feel he could ignore their existence and now that he didn't have Kurt, now that he was so isolated at McKinley… He just wanted to feel like he mattered. He wanted to know he wasn't invisible. Dalton had become a second home to him in the couple of years he'd attended. It was filled with uniforms he'd felt safe in and classes which stimulated his mind. He'd never felt alone at Dalton after making friends with Nick and Jeff in the first weeks.
Maybe, deep down, he hoped to see Sebastian. He was hyper aware that the Warblers were growing older and graduating. Wes, David and Thad were gone now. Nick and Jeff would graduate this year. Increasingly unfamiliar faces wandered past him with curious expressions at his casual attire but purposeful step. But Sebastian… He knew he would never escape Sebastian's notice. He never had before and the desire to be acknowledged made it easy for Sebastian to fulfil that need, even unwittingly. It was probably incredibly selfish but loneliness did funny things to him. Cheating on Kurt was evidence enough of that.
Hearing the chorus of voices down a corridor, he smiled to himself and picked up the pace. There was something so fundamentally different to the Warblers rehearsals versus New Directions. Unison and clarity, simplicity and a lack of instruments… It wrapped around him and almost felt like home.
He inched the heavy door open and poked his head through the gap. The boys were facing away from where he was with Jeff directing the movement out the front. He suppressed a laugh when one boy tripped over his feet and went down, causing a multitude of complaints. He remembered being a freshman and the complexity of perfectly timed steps too clearly. Wes was a lot more demanding than Jeff was being, but he probably didn't need to be. The kid was getting enough shoves to encourage him to do better next time.
He waved shyly as a dozen sets of eyes swivelled to him and okay, not invisible, good to know.
"New guys, meet our old soloist!" Nick broke away from the formation to embrace him before looking back at all the boys. "Most of you could only dream of being as good as him."
"Nick," he muttered, cheeks warm and eyes lowered as Nick nudged him.
"Okay. Take a break for five minutes everyone," Jeff ordered, waving his hands as boys in blazers dispersed and he strode through them to Blaine and hugged him. He clung for a moment, glad to feel like he was actually real and physically existed. "What brings you to Dalton, little Anderson?"
Blaine punched Jeff's shoulder lightly, hating the crap he still got for being smaller than Cooper. He'd always hoped to have a growth spurt and catch up but…well, he was still shorter.
"Musical time," he explained, grabbing the flyers from his back pocket and holding them out for Nick and Jeff to take. "I'm only in a scene but…I dunno. Figured I'd invited you guys along anyways."
"A scene?" Nick's brow crinkled as he examined the glossy paper. "As in, one?"
"Yeah…" He rubbed the back of his neck and Nick's expression grew more confused.
"But… Why? Why are you only in one?"
"Because that's the role I got cast in and-"
"Bullshit," Jeff interrupted, crossing his arms over his chest. "Blaine Anderson doesn't get cast in a role with a single scene with that group of misfits around him. We know you had a lot of seniors who graduated, but you're still the best male vocalist they have."
"We've had some great new talent and-"
He bit his lip, glancing between the two people who once knew every quirky mannerism and what it meant. Lying to them was still impossible.
"I… I couldn't be the lead in a musical about love…" he whispered, avoiding their eyes to glance around the room where other boys were milling around. It was obvious Sebastian wasn't there.
Nick sighed and touched his arm. "You need to stop hating yourself for that."
He shrugged and decided changing the topic was in order. "So you have more new people than I expected, and less old faces than I thought."
Jeff raised an eyebrow. "Well, we had the same problem as you with graduating people…"
"Yeah but…" He trailed off and shrugged again. He couldn't ask after Sebastian so directly.
"You're wondering about Sebastian?"
Maybe there was a difference between being invisible versus transparent. At McKinley, he wasn't noticed. At Dalton, every little thing was recognised.
He nodded and glanced between Nick and Jeff as they looked between each other for a moment.
"He left," Nick said finally.
"L-Left?" An alarm bell rang in his head. "He… He went back to France?"
The two boys in front of him laughed. "God no," Jeff explained when he'd calmed down. "Just the Warblers."
"But…" He shook his head to try and dispel the confusion. "Wasn't he your captain? He was your soloist. Why did he leave?"
Nick shrugged. "He wasn't the same after you got…hurt. And we heard about that kid who used to go to McKinley who tried to kill himself. Sebastian just… He wasn't the same."
"He quit two weeks after Regionals," Jeff added. "He won't talk to any of us anymore. We thought maybe a new school year would bring him back but as far as we know, he talked to no one over summer break and refused to re-join us so we just…let it go and found new members."
Blaine didn't even know what to say. He'd seen something in Sebastian's eyes in the Lima Bean after Karofsky, but he'd dismissed it because he was still pretty angry about being hurt and the lack of action taken against Sebastian. Not to mention he'd been far more focused on Kurt's heartache surrounding Karofsky's attempt.
"Look, we need to get back to practice…"
Blaine smiled apologetically at Nick. "Sorry. I didn't want to interrupt."
"It's cool. Anything for a former Warbler," Jeff grinned, clapping his hands and getting the attention of the other boys.
"Can I have one last thing?"
"Of course?" Nick pointed at spots on the floor for certain boys to stand on.
"Where can I find Sebastian?"
"You want to find him?" Nick and Jeff's distracted attention was back on him in an instant.
He shrugged, shoving his hands in his pockets.
Nick rolled his eyes as Jeff started rehearsing steps again. "He spends a lot of time in the library or on the practice field for lacrosse. Try there."
Blaine had never been a fan of the Dalton field. Although immaculately kept, the fear of being openly gay and using the male change room had never been something he'd enjoyed after transferring. At first, he'd also had to contend with the lingering injuries from the attack and it made any sort of physical activity difficult until he'd successfully gained a doctor's note that excused him until his ribs were able to sustain the harsh breathing needed to be competitive. He'd taken up boxing a few months later because the safety in being alone allowed him to relax.
Wandering there now made him no less anxious. In fact, maybe he was more anxious since he didn't know if he'd find Sebastian or not and more than that, he didn't know what the reaction would be if he did find the other boy. He couldn't stop wondering why Sebastian had quit the Warblers. Sure, the slushie had been bad, and what had nearly happened to Karofsky had been worse, but being in the Warblers was an honour. Being the lead was exceptional. It wasn't just something you quit.
He could easily see the lone boy in the requisite navy sports uniform on the bench. It wasn't too challenging to recognise Sebastian but he still paused on the field, fifty feet from where Sebastian had his head in his hands and stared down at the grass. Had he been seen? Did Sebastian not want to even acknowledge him? He didn't like the crushing sensation in his chest, the rejection and loneliness he was becoming too familiar with.
He'd come too far to turn around and back out now. He had too many unanswered questions which he could only solve by asking Sebastian. His trepidation increased until there was fifteen feet between them and he wasn't sure what a respectable distance to maintain was.
Sebastian's head snapped up so fast Blaine almost heard the audible crack of his vertebrae. "Blaine?"
He wrapped his arms around his waist. "I was told I could find you here…"
Sebastian scowled, scuffing his shoes in the dirt. "Loyalty gets you all sorts of information."
"It wasn't like that! I wanted-" He bit his lip quickly but it was too late. Hints of the old Sebastian were sneaking through as he quirked an eyebrow.
"You wanted me? I'm flattered." Sebastian held a hand to his heart. "Now you've seen me, you can run along now."
Blaine frowned. "Why did you leave the Warblers?"
Sebastian's gaze flickered away. "You left them. Sometimes things change."
Sebastian stood abruptly, grabbing his lacrosse stick. "Hurting a former soloist of the group you lead isn't exactly good for your image. They didn't want me anymore so I left."
Blaine shook his head as Sebastian started to walk away. "That's bullshit." He watched Sebastian's shoulders stiffen as he stopped. "I know they wanted you back. I know you left. What I don't understand is why you'd give that sort of thing up."
"You don't know anything about me," Sebastian said.
Blaine could see the way his fingers were curled around the mesh so tightly his knuckles were white and the muscles of his arm were taut with tension. It didn't scare him off like it should have, just made him more confused and intrigued.
"You shouldn't have come here!" Sebastian whirled on him, stick dropping to the ground with a clunk and shoving up close into Blaine's personal space. "You don't go here anymore so stop coming here! Stop looking for a place to belong! I know why you left the Warblers, I know why you left Dalton so-"
"I cheated on Kurt, y'know," Blaine murmured, looking up into Sebastian's furious green eyes. "He went to New York and I cheated on him."
He'd expected Sebastian's anger to deflate. Instead, Sebastian decidedly sneered. "I hope whoever you fucked was worth giving up love for," he said, turning away and grabbing up the stick.
Blaine felt winded as he watched Sebastian leave. He considered going after him into the changing rooms but it wasn't worth it. Besides, his heart felt like it had just been split open and left on the ground by his feet. Nick telling him not to keep hating himself for cheating was impossible when Sebastian summed up in one sentence why hating himself was still a valid feeling. He'd cheated and Eli hadn't been worth losing Kurt over. He'd lost the best thing in his life because he had felt isolated and alone. It was nothing to how he was at McKinley now.
It wasn't until he sniffed that he realised he was crying. He crossed the last few feet and sat on the bench, taking the same posture as Sebastian with his head in his hands. Every time he thought he was done crying over Kurt, something else happened, something else felt like a knife in the gut.
He cried until his eyes and chest hurt before trying to get his breathing under control. He still had to drive a couple of hours back home to Lima. He scrubbed his cheeks clean, adjusted his cardigan and bowtie and stood on unsteady feet.
As he walked back to his car, one thing became clearer in his mind. He was far from dissuaded from his mission to find out why Sebastian left the Warblers.
Blaine didn't exactly like challenges. He wasn't a fan of puzzles and he preferred having the easiness of knowledge without feeling confused or annoyed.
Unravelling Sebastian was, however, a challenge he wasn't going to give up. He started with attempting to add Sebastian to Facebook but wasn't surprised when it was never accepted. Next, he made a call to Sebastian which went to his voicemail. It was expected, but it was also what he wanted. Sebastian's steady voice in his ear confirmed the number was still his own. He ended the call before he needed to leave a message, twisting his phone in his hands and gazing at the photo of him and Kurt which decorated the screen.
He sighed, unlocking the phone and changing the background to something completely neutral. It hurt, but probably not as much as continuing to see Kurt's smiling face. If he was going to try to make changes in his life to move beyond the break-up, he needed to stop being reminded of what he had been responsible for losing.
Blaine visited the Lima Bean fairly frequently. Even though memories of Kurt were lingering ghosts in the coffee shop, they had the best medium drip he knew of and he couldn't pass up the opportunity of good coffee, especially given how little he was sleeping. The longer it had been since he'd heard from Kurt, the worse his mood spiralled.
He'd seen Sebastian walk in twice. The first time, he didn't think Sebastian noticed him because he casually paid for his coffee, fiddled on his phone while he waited, and then left with a fresh coffee in hand and paying no mind to Blaine sitting in one of the corner chairs.
The second time, he knew Sebastian had seen him because they made direct eye-contact. There was several seconds which passed between them as Sebastian stood frozen in the doorway. Blaine felt like he was anchored to the spot, watching as Sebastian's calm expression clouded over and he turned and walked out without a coffee.
He hadn't seen Sebastian at the Lima Bean since, regardless of how he increased the trips per week he made and the length of time he spent there. Sebastian never came back and the itching, antsy feeling that something was wrong, that somehow it was his fault, had only intensified.
Just because he'd seen Sebastian at the Lima Bean didn't mean he'd stopped texting Sebastian. Any day he had which was bad, he sent a text that was carefully worded to not sound needy or desperate. He never received a response but he could tell Sebastian was reading them because Sebastian hadn't turned the read status off on his phone. Gradually, he forgot it was Sebastian he was texting and the messages increased. He shared random details, like a certain bathroom which smelled or how he couldn't find his favourite bowtie that morning.
Amongst the inane was the occasional mention to things happening in Glee club, which suggested the problems he was facing such as referring to the amount of words he'd spoken for the day. He was still isolated and lonely, but having an outlet for all his odd thoughts was a bit of a relief. Even if it was one-sided, he still knew Sebastian was reading what he sent and he secretly hoped he was bridging some sort of gap to allow Sebastian to respond or contact him at some stage.
It was late one night, more than a month since he'd made eye-contact with Sebastian at the Lima Bean and Christmas break just days away, when his phone vibrated and he rolled over from the pillow he was clutching to grab at it.
Sebastian: When will you see I'm not interested in your pathetic public school life?
He smiled, a small thrill of victory running through him as he stroked his thumb over the words. He tossed through all the answers he could text back when his phone vibrated in his hand.
Sebastian: You text me dozens of times and now nothing? I'm disappointed. Has the cat got your tongue or have you got some guy's cock down your throat?
He swallowed, feeling his face flush in anger and embarrassment and tapped a few buttons until he was calling Sebastian. He heard it ring, and ring, and ring, and thought it was probably going to go to voicemail again when it clicked with a connection.
"I don't own a cat nor is there anything down my throat," he said, rolling onto his side to hold the pillow again, phone pressed to his ear.
"Pity. I'm sure I could find something to put down your throat."
He hid his face in his pillow and exhaled slowly. "Is that an offer to be down my throat or watching from the sidelines?"
There was a quiet chuckle in his ear. "Now, now, Anderson. I don't do sidelines and watching, especially not when I can be involved in the action."
Blaine wondered if he should be standing in front of a freezer so he could cool the heat in his face. "I'll keep that in mind."
"You're keeping the thought of my cock down your throat in mind?" Sebastian hummed softly. "Hot."
He flopped onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. "Why did you finally text back?"
"Why do you keep thinking I'm interested?"
"I know you're reading what I send."
"Of course I am. Messages come through and I look at them. That doesn't mean I actually register what's being sent."
Blaine paused and bit his lip. Maybe he'd been misreading the situation entirely. "Then how do you know they're about my 'pathetic public school life'?"
Sebastian huffed and Blaine felt a grin break out. So Sebastian was reading his messages. "What do you want, Blaine?"
"You know what I want."
"To know why I left the Warblers?"
The silence stretched out so long that Blaine thought Sebastian had hung up, except he could still hear the barely audible hiss of static. He wondered what Sebastian was thinking, wondered if he was finally going to get the answer he wanted.
"Why did you go to Dalton?"
It was quieter, almost caring, and it derailed his thoughts.
"When? As a freshman or a month ago?"
"A month ago."
Blaine chewed his lip, thoughts twisting through his head. "Things at McKinley haven't been going so great and…Dalton was always a place I was happy. I just…wanted to try and re-capture some of that."
"Are you okay?"
He stifled a laugh. "Don't pretend to care."
"Blaine, I'm not pretending."
He wished he could see Sebastian's face or knew Sebastian better so he could guess what Sebastian was thinking. Then again, he doubted a conversation in person would be like this. Confessions made in the darkness of his room when they couldn't see each other were what made it feel comfortable enough to share anything.
"Okay, just listen to me for a sec, alright?" Sebastian's voice broke through his thoughts. "I- I messed up with the slushie and then Karofsky… Tell anyone I've mellowed out and I'll deny it but there's more to sending me multiple messages a day than you're letting on. I know we're far from close but if you're not okay, I don't want you to be dealing with that on your own."
Once again, Sebastian had succeeded in winding him and leaving him with tears dampening his cheeks. He wiped at his eyes and tried to conceal the sniffles.
He ended the call abruptly and switched his phone off, unwilling to face up to how he felt. Worse, Sebastian had asked him within a single call when no one around him at McKinley had noticed.
Clinging to the pillow, he let the tears fall until he was too exhausted to stay awake.
He left his phone off for two days until the lack of conversation with anyone at McKinley and feeling completely cut off from the wider world began to eat away at him. Christmas break began at the end of the day and he doubted he would be invited to any parties or offered any well wishes, so switching his phone on felt a little like having some form of a connection to people again. A connection to Sebastian again.
After the way he'd ended the call, he thought there would be a barrage of notifications for texts and missed calls but there was nothing except a warning about his battery. It felt like a knife had sliced his heart in half. No one had tried to contact him in days. Sebastian hadn't tried him again. No one noticed. No one cared.
He didn't talk to anyone for the rest of the day and didn't even hum a note during the final Glee club of carols. Ignoring Finn's glare and the looks from the others as they waited with expectation of his participation, he eventually grabbed up his bag and walked out without a backwards glance. No one followed him. No one asked if he was okay. No one commented on his lack of speech or singing. These people were what he considered friends?
Blaine managed to make it home and into the safety of his bedroom before he started crying into his pillow, wrenching sobs which hurt his chest. By the time he'd struggled to get his hysteria under control, his body ached with exhaustion and his eyes burned with the amount of tears he'd shed.
He curled up with a pillow to his chest, clutching at his phone and typing out a message through blurry eyes. It was too sore on the inside to censor himself and he wondered if he'd regret that later.
Blaine: Sometimes I wish you'd actually blinded me. At least then I wouldn't have to see that I'm alone.
Blaine watched for the 'Delivered' message to change to 'Read", but his eyes were so tired and swollen that they gradually drooped closed until his phone screen switched off and he gave in to sleep
He startled awake to his mother calling him for dinner and didn't think to look at his phone. Sebastian had only texted him back the one time and they'd shared the one call so it didn't cross his mind. When he returned from dinner and automatically picked it up to check the time before starting his homework, he was surprised to see a message notification from Sebastian spread across the screen.
Sebastian: I'm glad I didn't do that. I would never have forgiven myself if I didn't have the opportunity to have your eyes directly on me again.
Blaine felt his cheeks heat and tossed the phone back onto his bed without responding, determined to complete his homework.
After fifteen minutes of watching letters swim across the page, he knew his concentration wasn't really in it and he shut his books, grabbing up his phone and making it call Sebastian before he could second-guess himself.
He blinked away the fresh tears in his eyes as he fell onto his bed, holding the phone to his ear. "Hi."
"Well, it's good to know you didn't die or anything. I figured you must have either invested in a cat or a co-"
"Sebastian," he hissed, mortified beyond words.
There was a soft huff and the sound of papers moving for several seconds before it went silent. "You know, typically when people call, they actually talk on the phone."
"Really? Is that what it's used for? I had no idea."
"I admit you could be forgiven considering the amount of texts you apparently like to send."
Blaine rolled his eyes. "Like you'd answer every call I made."
"You might be surprised."
Blaine paused, side-eyeing his phone as if he could side-eye Sebastian through the screen. "What's that meant to mean?"
There was a quiet sigh which Blaine might have missed if he hadn't been listening so carefully, barely breathing himself to catch every little nuance he could over the phone. "You know my situation and how I'm not in the Warblers. You know I don't talk to them anymore. I board at Dalton so I'm surrounded by pretty much everyone. Who do you think is going to call me except my ever-so-wonderful parents?"
Blaine had never really considered it that way before. He didn't talk much to his former Warbler friends but he knew he still could reach them. He'd never probably call anyone from McKinley but he still had their numbers. It had never occurred to Blaine that Sebastian was so isolated. He realised he had no idea where Sebastian had transferred from or even why he'd transferred, just that Sebastian was overly risqué with his flirtatious comments, had spent some time in France and his father was a state's attorney.
He shook his thoughts and confusion away. "Yes?"
"Just checking I hadn't bored you to sleep otherwise that was a new record even for me."
Blaine raised an eyebrow. "You've bored people to sleep?"
"I've bored people into doing a lot of things. You know, there are some people who are so willing to make me stop talking that they put their pretty little lips around my-"
"Aww, c'mon! Let loose a little!"
The last time Blaine had 'let loose a little' had been meeting up with Eli and cheating on Kurt. The shame and guilt he still harboured for that one incident was enough to make him think that he'd never let loose again, even when it was sexual jokes.
He could hear some shuffling noises again and wondered what Sebastian was doing. Probably homework, like Blaine was meant to be doing.
"Look, clearly something's going on. You said yourself that you came to Dalton because it was a place you used to be happy. My offer from then still stands. If you want to talk about whatever's going on, you don't have to be doing it alone."
"You remember that?" Blaine said dumbly.
"Why wouldn't I?"
Blaine shrugged before he realised Sebastian wouldn't see that. "No one else listens to me. I didn't expect you would either."
A rather undignified snort carried across the line. "Blaine, I remember everything you've ever said to me. The fact it's obvious from your multiple-a-day text messages and that call which you ended after starting to cry that things aren't okay."
He turned his face into the nearest pillow and exhaled slowly. Of all the people to offer a hand of support or care, Sebastian Smythe would never have occurred to him.
"What is it you want to know?" Blaine said finally, feeling a little like he was conceding defeat to a war he hadn't known he'd been waging.
"Whatever it is you want to tell me. What's going on at McKinley that you came looking for happiness at Dalton?"
Blaine rolled onto his back, holding a pillow to his chest and fiddling with the seam. "I cheated on Kurt," he admitted, his voice cracking as new tears filled his eyes. Was he ever going to move on from feeling like this? "No one at McKinley wants to acknowledge me anymore. I'm like the social leper or something, even though I know so many of them have cheated and been cheated on. I guess it's different because their loyalty is first and foremost to Kurt, and not me."
There was silence for a while and Blaine had the unsettled feeling that he'd bored Sebastian to sleep.
"Sorry. I was nodding. It didn't even occur to me that you couldn't see that."
He choked out a giggle before he could stop himself. "I always thought you were cleverer than that."
"I could say the same to you. You cheated on Kurt and didn't come to me? Man, I'm disappointed someone else got to tap that ass."
Blaine rolled his eyes but his lips were involuntarily turned up in a teary smile. "I think if it had been you, Kurt would have hung you upside down by your balls."
"It would still be so worth it."
Blaine rubbed a hand to his face, trying to wipe away the grin that wouldn't leave. Something about Sebastian's selfish, one-track mind for sex was more amusing to him than Kurt's hurt assumption that he'd cheated with Sebastian and it helped put splits in some of the shame to be able to accept the jokes and not be so defensive about it.
"So you cheated and now you're a pariah?"
"Pretty much," Blaine sighed.
"And you thought you could get, what, attention from me or something to fill that void where no one talked to you?"
Blaine scrunched his eyes shut, sucking in a shaky breath. Since he'd cheated, he'd sort of made a decision not to lie when asked a direct question. "I- Partly, yes."
"I- I did go to Dalton wanting to try to find some happiness. It was where I met Kurt. I thought… I don't know. I guess I thought I could turn back time or something and he'd catch me on the staircase again." A tear streaked away from his eyes, sinking into his hair. "But I also expected you'd be part of the Warblers too. I knew you'd never been able to stop looking at me. I knew you were always armed with a dozen inappropriate comments. Even though I didn't want to necessarily hear what you had to say, I just wanted to feel like I was at least noticed. I feel invisible at McKinley and I knew I couldn't be invisible around you."
Blaine let it sink in, but the silence stretched for an uncomfortably long time. He was less concerned about having bored Sebastian to death. Instead, he feared he'd offended Sebastian beyond words and the fragile conversation they were building had been shattered.
"Okay…" Sebastian said, drawing out the two syllables. "Thank you for being honest, at last."
"It's not like I was lying before!"
"No, but I always knew there was something you were holding back."
Blaine nibbled his bottom lip. "Do you hate me now?" he said, his voice small and scared.
"Hate you?" Sebastian repeated before chuckling. "You know me far too well. Of course I would have been armed with a dozen inappropriate comments. I would have swept you off your feet and carried you back to my dorm room and-"
"Okay, so maybe I wouldn't have done that. That's a fantasy for jerk-off material later, but I don't hate you, Blaine. Maybe I'm sad that you're so severely deprived for attention that you came looking for me, but I think I'm also a little flattered by it."
Blaine wasn't really sure what he was meant to say. He'd been so sure Sebastian would resent him for being used for attention that he'd never really thought of the alternative – that Sebastian wouldn't hate him.
"I never realised you were such a mouse on the phone."
Blaine frowned and side-eyed the phone again. "What?"
"You keep going silent on me. I never realised you were so quiet. I guess it's because I'm so used to you being attached to Kurt and he's sort of like your mouthpiece. He dominates pretty much every interaction when he's around and when he's not, you're quiet and easily flustered."
Blaine cringed at how Kurt was described. He wasn't a mouthpiece. Kurt was just more confident and they'd always been so in sync that Kurt knew what he was going to say before he said it. Kurt also had an inner fire, being overly defensive and protecting Blaine easily with words.
At the same time, he'd grown quieter after breaking up with Kurt because no one really wanted to listen to him anymore. He didn't tend to fight back unless he felt directly threatened and even then it tended to be more of a physical confrontation than a verbal one.
"Do you want to meet up?"
"It's a little late, Sebastian."
"I don't mean right now, Killer," Sebastian said, and Blaine could practically hear him rolling his eyes. "I just mean… Like, in person sometime. Whenever you're free, we can go to the Lima Bean or any other place you want to go."
A slow smile spread across Blaine's face. "Is this a date?"
Sebastian spluttered nonsense words and Blaine couldn't help laughing at the reaction.
"I was only joking," Blaine said when it appeared Sebastian couldn't get a proper word out. "But I- I'd like that. Thank you."
"I'm pretty much always free, so text me when you're free to meet up." There was a brief pause. "You do know how to text, don't you?"
Blaine wished Sebastian was in front of him to see the withering glare. "Yes, I think I'm capable of that."
Four days later, Blaine was twirling a stirrer between his fingers, waiting for Sebastian in a coffee shop in Bellefontaine. It was the most neutral place Blaine could think of, which was halfway between Lima and Westerville and therefore not a long distance for either of them to travel. That didn't mean the wait wasn't killing him and he internally loathed himself for his reasoning to scope out the place before Sebastian arrived. He'd wanted to choose the most private table, grow comfortable in his surroundings before Sebastian arrived. Now he just hated that he'd given himself so much time.
The bell attached to the door jangled and he glanced up, but it was an elderly couple who had linked arms and a slow shuffle. Without being rude, he watched them and the way they spoke for each other, finished off each other's orders and moved as a singular unit to a table on the opposite side of the coffee shop. It made him think about Kurt and how in sync they had always been. Now they were so out of kilter that he doubted they would ever recover, which forced him to wonder if he ever wanted them to recover?
Another tinkle and when he looked this time, it was a tall boy in jeans and Dalton hoodie and he smiled when Sebastian's eyes met his. Sebastian clearly forced a smile in response, nodding at the counter and Blaine gave a little nod, allowing Sebastian to order before they started talking.
Sebastian joined him with a fresh mug gripped in his hands. "Hello," he said, with a slight tilt of his head.
"Hi," Blaine replied, crossing his ankles beneath the chair and briefly biting on his lip. "Thanks for um, meeting with me and stuff."
Sebastian shrugged, stirring his coffee with a soft clink of the spoon. "You invited me. It would be rude to say no."
Blaine arched an eyebrow.
"Well, it would be rude," Sebastian repeated with a slight frown.
Blaine shrugged and let the matter drop, even though it was Sebastian. Sebastian was meant to be rude. It was all Blaine had ever really known. And yet, Blaine had discovered a rather different side to him in the past months. Not being part of the Warblers, reading his texts, actually recognising his tears and when he wasn't okay… It was more than he could have expected from someone like Sebastian. Maybe his beliefs about the other boy needed to change.
"So, how are you?" Sebastian asked, sipping at his drink slowly.
"I'm…okay, I suppose. Winter break is at least some distance between me and McKinley people. How are you?"
Sebastian pursed his lips in thought, settling his mug on the table. "Glad I'm not returning home for Christmas. I've already finished most of the homework."
Blaine blinked. "You aren't returning home for Christmas?"
Sebastian shook his head, picking up a sugar packet and tipping it into his coffee. "My father has some 'big case' he's arguing in New York and my mother went to visit family in France so they figured I should stay at Dalton."
"But… But it's Christmas!"
Sebastian averted his eyes. "Christmas isn't a particularly joyous time for me or my family so I'd prefer to stay at Dalton."
"Can't you just leave it alone?"
"No," Blaine said simply, not even close to apologising for his curiosity. "I still want to know why you left the Warblers."
"Blaine," Sebastian sighed.
"Look." Blaine rubbed at his face and put his hands back on the table, staring at Sebastian's face even though he couldn't quite meet Sebastian's eyes. "You're different now. You can't deny it. You recognised my need for help, you noticed how I needed someone. And I feel like you need help or someone too."
Sebastian lowered his head to the table with a thunk. "Why? Why you?" he groaned.
"Well gee, if I knew I was that undesirable, I wouldn't have bothered asking you to come here." Blaine was only half-teasing. The other half felt coloured with hurt and sadness.
"That's not what I meant," Sebastian said, his voice sharp as he looked back up again. "No one else has bothered trying to ask what's wrong, what happened, beyond the first question. Why do you have to be the one to push?"
Blaine shrugged. "I'm surrounded by people I thought were friends and none of them even asked the first question."
"That's because they never cared about you. They only cared for your talent and that you were important for Kurt. When you ceased mattering to him, you ceased mattering to them."
Blaine felt like he'd just been staked through the heart.
"Okay, so that was harsh of me to say," Sebastian said hurriedly, obviously reacting to whatever he'd seen on Blaine's face. "But it also makes it no less true that all we really are is pawns."
Blaine bit his lip. "Is that how you feel? Like a pawn?"
Sebastian took a while to respond, sipping at his coffee. Blaine started to shift uncomfortably as the silence stretched between them.
"I feel like someone who was a commodity. I was a tool with a limited use and when my negative actions gained public attention and scrutiny, I realised that my value was far more diminished than I had expected or realised."
Blaine picked over the carefully chosen words. "Jeff and Nick told me they still wanted you."
"Who said I was talking about those boys?"
Blaine's gaze narrowed. "Who were you talking about?"
Sebastian shook his head and stayed silent.
Without thinking about it, Blaine reached out and covered Sebastian's hand around the mug with his own. "Sebastian, talk to me."
Sebastian's eyes dropped to their hands, the majority of his posture screaming tension and not being comfortable. "Have you ever had…problems…with your parents?"
Blaine nodded. "Is there anyone who hasn't?"
Sebastian frowned, licking his lips several times which was a terrible distraction to Blaine's concentration. "I- I don't mean petty fights but….serious issues?"
"My father tried to build a car with me after I came out. He wanted to make me straight or something." Blaine allowed a small smile, wondering if that was what Sebastian meant. "The irony was that Kurt's father worked as a mechanic before he got elected to Congress so Kurt's been around cars all his life basically, and yet my father couldn't accept him either because of his flamboyance and pride."
"Not…quite but okay."
Sebastian peeled Blaine's hand off his and dropped his hands to his lap so Blaine couldn't keep touching him. Blaine couldn't pretend not to be disappointed but he also noticed the way Sebastian glanced around the coffee shop.
"What were your parents like after the slushie?" Sebastian asked, abruptly changing the subject.
Blaine closed his eyes and thought back. "I guess they were upset. Mom had to take some time off work. Dad was worried about me losing my sight. But then the operation happened and it was successful and we pretty much never talked about it again. It was like, now that everything's fixed, then it's fine and it never happened." He shrugged and opened his eyes. "It's sort of how a lot of things operate with them."
Sebastian nodded, his head stiff on his shoulders. "Did you know they contacted my parents?"
If Blaine had been holding something, he most certainly would have dropped it. "Absolutely not." Sebastian's posture eased a little with the admission and Blaine frowned at the change. "Why? Is it important?"
Sebastian scoffed, a hint of his former smirk appearing on his lips. "Is the sun rising every day important?"
Blaine shrugged. "It's debatable. I think we could survive on Vitamin D supplements. Too many people are afraid of going out in the sun every day already because of the risk of developing skin cancer."
Sebastian stared at him and Blaine felt his cheeks heat. "I was only joking," Sebastian said, breaking into laughter.
Blaine rolled his eyes, shifting in his seat and trying not to feel too embarrassed at Sebastian's amusement. But then Sebastian's grin disappeared, the sparkle in his eyes vanished, and Blaine felt like shivering at how fast Sebastian could shrink in on himself.
"Yes, the fact you didn't know is important," Sebastian said, his voice almost hollow compared to his previous statement.
Blaine nibbled his bottom lip. "What did they say?"
Sebastian shrugged vaguely. "I don't know their exact words, only that my parents found out what I'd done. My father… He called me home, sat me at the dining room table and yelled for a couple of hours about how unacceptable my behaviour was for a son of someone of his importance."
"I'm sorry," Blaine said automatically.
Sebastian waved it off. "Every day was another call, another rant, about how despicable I was. Most of the time I quietened the volume, put the phone down and did my homework until he hung up." Blaine noticed the lump in Sebastian's throat bob as he swallowed. "Until Karofsky attempting suicide happened and it got back to him."
Blaine remembered Sebastian's apology, the tightness around his eyes and the wobbly way he spoke. He'd been too mad, too on edge, too protective of how badly Kurt was coping, to believe a word of it. He was starting to rethink his judgement of Sebastian's remarks.
"He wasn't happy when he heard." It wasn't a question but Sebastian nodded anyway.
"In a manner of speaking."
"Sebastian…" Blaine reached out again but realised there was nothing of Sebastian's to hold. Sebastian sighed and slipped one of his hands between Blaine's and Blaine smiled gratefully, covering Sebastian's hand with both of his own. "Sebastian, what happened?"
Sebastian didn't meet his eyes. "He petitioned Dalton to have me removed from the Warbler leadership and the group as a whole. When the headmaster found out, he agreed and had me struck from the group." Sebastian's voice was wobbling like it had in the Lima Bean with the apology Blaine hadn't quite believed. "It doesn't matter who wants me back or not. They don't know exactly what happened but I'm not permitted to return."
Blaine shook his head slowly, barely able to comprehend what had happened which he hadn't known about. The guilt felt overwhelming and he remembered complaining about Dalton doing nothing, when in fact, they'd done the absolute worst thing to Sebastian.
"That's not all but…" Sebastian shrugged, his fingers flexing around Blaine's hand and indicating his discomfort.
"He h-hit me, okay?" Sebastian choked out, shaking his head and looking away. "S-Several times. I ended up with a…a bruised jaw and various bruises on my chest and stomach and he…used one of his belts on my back and ass like I was a little child again."
Blaine couldn't understand how he hadn't heard about Sebastian being at Dalton with injuries like that, although he supposed Nick, Jeff and Trent hadn't thought Sebastian was important to him, especially after the slushie incident. And maybe after he left the Warblers, it didn't matter how Sebastian was doing anyway. Besides, after Regionals, after the slushie, yeah, he probably didn't care that much about Sebastian. Everything felt different now.
"Again?" Blaine's hands tightened around Sebastian's. "Did he hit you as a child?"
Sebastian's shaky inhalation and lack of response made Blaine feel icy all over. He moved his chair around to Sebastian's side of the table, scraping it too loudly on the floor and drawing attention to them as he sat beside Sebastian and Sebastian fell into his arms, crying quietly into his shoulder.
"Shhhh…" Blaine rubbed over Sebastian's back, feeling a little awkward as Sebastian basically fell apart against him. The lack of eye contact or ability to read faces did allow Blaine some time to mull over what Sebastian had admitted. He could understand Sebastian's apathy towards a Christmas at Dalton with no family. He also realised that inviting Sebastian to his house for Christmas probably wasn't a good idea, but he could easily sneak away before or after and spend time with Sebastian to make him feel less alone. He wouldn't betray Sebastian's trust to Jeff or Nick but maybe he could explain that Sebastian needed them as friends, he just couldn't perform with them anymore because he had…vocal nodules.
Sebastian eventually pulled back, wiping at his red cheeks and eyes and avoiding Blaine's. Blaine swooped on holding his hand again, rubbing his thumb against the skin of Sebastian's knuckles.
"I'll see you over Christmas, alright? I promise. I'll text you when I'm free of family obligations and we can go out places or hang out at Dalton. Whatever you want."
"I-" Sebastian looked like he was about to burst into tears again. "Why would you…do that? For me?"
Blaine shrugged. "Look it as an early implementation of my New Year's Resolution."
Sebastian's eyebrow rose.
"'Be nice to Sebastian Smythe, even if he returns to being a pretentious jerk at some point.'"
Sebastian snorted, a tear dripping down his cheek in a shiny trail. "I think the pretentious jerk is gone. He has no need to be arrogant anymore because he doesn't really have anything."
Blaine squeezed Sebastian's hand. "Friends then?"
Sebastian gave a small smile, something Blaine almost thought could be considered nervous or shy. "Friends."
Blaine was often criticised over the Christmas break for his distracted attitude to things and his disappearances for hours. When their parents weren't in earshot, Cooper teased him several times for texting under the table. However, he abided by the curfews and made sure his parents were willing to let him go before he actually left. He might not have been honest about where he was going but he tended to live dangerously by a philosophy of what someone didn't know wouldn't hurt them. Especially in light of how hurt Kurt had been after knowing that Blaine had cheated.
So he spent time with Sebastian in Sebastian's dorm room, curled up on Sebastian's bed watching movies or talking books. Sebastian allowed his hand to be held and Blaine let Sebastian's head rest on his shoulder.
The only time Blaine outright lied was saying he was going to a New Year's party for New Directions when he was actually going into Columbus with Sebastian. His parents barely noticed though, too caught up in their own plans for New Year.
After the drive to Dalton, Sebastian offered to drive the final bit to Columbus and Blaine handed the keys over. The lack of conversation was fine considering Sebastian changed Blaine's radio station and they sang along to whatever came on, trying to sing louder than and louder until Blaine's throat started to hurt, but by that stage they were on the outskirts of Columbus and a new game of finding a parking spot began.
They spent hours wandering around, getting dinner together and checking out interesting places that were open. They watched the ball drop in New York on a giant screen in a park and then looked at dozens of fireworks exploding above their heads, bathing upturned faces in a temporary glow. The brief moments of sadness Blaine had thinking of Kurt and this time last New Year's vanished with a sly comment by Sebastian that left him laughing.
Blaine opted for the drive back to Dalton because it meant he was in charge of the car and the radio. Sebastian wrinkled his nose but went with it. It wasn't until they were back at Dalton that Blaine realised just how much he'd come to value Sebastian's friendship during the past week, and the amount Sebastian had put up with him for the past few months since Blaine had sought out some attention in the same school he now sat in the parking lot of.
"You told your parents you wouldn't be home tonight, right?" Sebastian asked, turning his head to look at Blaine.
"Yeah. Mostly because I know they aren't going to be home so it didn't really matter," Blaine shrugged.
"So where are you going to stay?"
Blaine bit his lip, glancing across at Sebastian. "I was kind of hoping you'd let me crash with you for the night."
Sebastian's face lit up and the familiar glint from a year ago was in his eye. "Why Blaine, I'd be honoured to share my bed with your sweet ass."
He rolled his eyes, getting out of the car and grabbing the small bag from the trunk.
"It's not like you don't know you have a great ass," Sebastian pointed out as he climbed out of the car and shut the door.
Blaine rolled his eyes again, locking the car and swaying his hips in front of Sebastian as he walked in the direction of the dorms. "Enjoying walking behind me?"
"Like you wouldn't even believe," Sebastian said brightly. Blaine shook his head but he was smiling at Sebastian's silliness.
After getting back to Sebastian's room and changing into pyjamas and brushing teeth, Blaine crawled onto the side of the bed which had apparently been marked as his when they'd been watching movies while Sebastian set up something.
It turned out to be Tangled and they took turns singing songs. At one stage, Sebastian commented it was a shame Blaine's hair didn't glow. Blaine retorted it was a shame Sebastian didn't have a horse to tell him to act like a human. A brief tickle fight later and they settled back in to watch the movie.
It got a little more awkward when the movie finished and Blaine agreed with Sebastian's suggestion to put the laptop away since it was going on four in the morning. With the room now in darkness and Blaine facing Sebastian, there was only a soft glow from Sebastian's alarm clock, the light from the corridor outside which seeped beneath the gap in Sebastian's door, and a few items scattered around Sebastian's room which appeared to glow in the dark.
He squinted as his eyes adjusted and saw Sebastian's eyes sparkling.
"Are you afraid of the dark?"
The rustle of the sheets and the tiny movement he could see made Blaine realise Sebastian had shrugged.
"That's not an answer."
"Perhaps a little," Sebastian said finally. "I don't like complete darkness. There needs to be at least a little bit of light. Is it a problem?"
"No, it's fine." It wasn't like Sebastian had a floodlight pointing in his face. He could close his eyes and it was totally dark for him. "Just interesting, I suppose."
Sebastian gave a soft hum. Although Blaine couldn't quite focus on the expression on his face or the specific expressions in his eyes, he could still make out the rough location of his head and the glossy reflection of his eyes.
"What are you thinking?" Blaine asked, his voice hushed.
"I'm thinking…" Sebastian paused and laughed quietly. "I'm thinking Blaine Anderson is in my bed and wondering how that happened."
"I never would have wanted you in my bed involuntarily," Sebastian said, his tone a strange combination of firm yet gentle.
"Well then…" Blaine bit his lip before letting it go to move forward and kiss Sebastian's lips. He missed at first, the skin too smooth and he realised it was Sebastian's chin before Sebastian's hand covered his cheek and tilted his head right and then they were kissing properly. Sebastian tugged him closer, the kiss deepening as tongues brushed and air swapped lungs until Blaine realised Sebastian had managed to roll on top of him.
He cut the kiss off, gasping for cool oxygen even though everything felt far too hot as Sebastian ran his fingers through Blaine's hair slowly.
"I like the curls, y'know," Sebastian said, twisting Blaine's hair around his fingers randomly.
Blaine hadn't been sure about leaving the gel off tonight but from the frequent glances Sebastian had been making at it all night and apparently the way he liked playing with it now that they'd crossed some sort of bridge, it felt like the right choice.
"Penny for your thoughts?" Sebastian asked, the tips of his fingers stroking down Blaine's face as if trying to read his expression in the dark. And then Blaine realised that could be exactly what Sebastian was trying to do.
"I'm sure my thoughts are worth more than a measly penny," he teased.
"True, true. Alright. Dollar for your thoughts?"
Blaine couldn't help the smile which crossed his lips. "Just thinking about how you can add that kiss to another thing Blaine Anderson gave you voluntarily."
Sebastian stilled before clearing his throat noisily. "And what else would Blaine Anderson be voluntarily willing to do?"
Blaine's hands settled on Sebastian's waist, fiddling with the hem of his shirt and barely brushing against the skin. "With enough time, I think he'd voluntarily allow anything."
Sebastian's fingers stroked down Blaine's neck and over the t-shirt he was wearing. "Is Blaine Anderson asking to date Sebastian Smythe?"
Blaine had never been more glad to be in the dark to hide how flushed his face must be considering how warm it felt. "Is Sebastian Smythe going to voluntarily date Blaine Anderson?"
"If it means more chances to voluntarily kissing Blaine Anderson, then Sebastian Smythe is all for it," Sebastian growled, grasping Blaine's face again and kissing him fiercely. The more Sebastian made his head spin with lust and desire, the more difficult it became not to clutch at Sebastian's hips and keep kissing him.
It was Sebastian who pulled away first this time, although really it was more just detaching their lips. His face was barely an inch from Blaine's and his face was shrouded in darkness, making him both a little dangerous and a lot mysterious.
"So does Blaine Anderson know what else he'd voluntarily allow Sebastian Smythe to do? Like, tonight for instance?" Sebastian murmured, his words a warm tickle over Blaine's lips.
Blaine arched an eyebrow although it was lost in the dark, gradually letting go of Sebastian's hips to slip over the front of Sebastian's thighs before his wrists were locked in a vice grip by Sebastian's quick-moving hands.
"You don't need to cut off circulation to my fingers," Blaine complained and Sebastian's grip loosened.
Blaine tilted his head up, touching his lips to Sebastian's, letting Sebastian press him into the mattress as he lost coherency of his thoughts again, until Sebastian snapped out of the kiss again.
"You didn't answer my question."
"There was a question?" Blaine said, feeling breathless and wondering if running around at all the lacrosse practices was why Sebastian wasn't even panting.
"What else would you voluntarily allow me to do?" Sebastian repeated, and Blaine dimly remembered something about a question like that.
"Do you have ideas?"
"Oh Blaine," Sebastian chuckled, his lips pressing to a spot on Blaine's neck. "I always have ideas. Didn't I tell you I would have carried you back to my room? Oh but wait, I didn't get to tell you what I'd do to you once we got back here."
Blaine shuddered at the low husk in Sebastian's voice, or maybe it was the barely-there touch of Sebastian's fingers against the fabric covering his stomach. "Do you want to tell me now?"
"Why tell you when I could show you?" Sebastian murmured, kissing lower on Blaine's neck, moving a little bit central until he found the spot that made Blaine's fingers tighten and a quiet groan fall from his lips. "I always knew your bashful schoolboy thing was super-hot."
"I never knew you were such a tease," Blaine mumbled.
Sebastian just laughed and slipped his hand under Blaine's tee, trailing fingers over his abdominals. "Never took you for someone with such a good body."
"Not many people with a flat stomach and a round ass?" Blaine said, eliciting another laugh from Sebastian as the soft touch inched higher.
"Seriously though," Sebastian said, stilling his movements and making Blaine whimper. "I need to know what limits there are tonight because I could way too easily get carried away and I'd stop if you wanted, but it'd just be easier to know what my restrictions are beforehand."
Blaine licked his lips and tried to sort through the muddle of thoughts, which was difficult when he knew he was half-hard and it had only been his hand for several months.
"Alright, fine, I'll start if you're going to go all mouse on me," Sebastian huffed, kissing Blaine chastely to silence the noise of protest. "I'm not going to penetrate you tonight."
Blaine shivered. The suggestion that there would be other nights, that Sebastian truly wanted him as more than just a one-night hook-up, made his blood run hot.
Sebastian's teeth dragged at Blaine's lower lip, his tongue dipping inside Blaine's mouth again until he pulled away with a few quick presses of his lips. "Okay, now your turn on restrictions."
Blaine's hands stroked under Sebastian's shirt and he almost made a similar comment about Sebastian's body, although he knew that would just fuel the other boy's ego. "I would have said the same thing. That's pretty much it I guess."
Sebastian gave a quiet moan as Blaine's thumb rolled against Sebastian's tight nipple. "Nothing else you want to hold back?"
"No," Blaine said, his voice firm and clear.
Sebastian's mouth was on him again and only detached for a few seconds when Sebastian ripped his shirt over his head and then helped Blaine out of his. Knowing the little restrictions they each had, Sebastian's hands seemed to be all over Blaine's face, neck, torso, stomach, circling dangerously low to the waistband of his pants before up again. Not that Blaine was much better, exploring Sebastian's heated skin before taking a bold step, sliding his hands down the back of Sebastian's sweatpants and what felt like boxer-briefs to grip his ass.
"Blaine Anderson is voluntarily holding my ass," Sebastian whispered into his ear. "Are you sure hell hasn't frozen over?"
Blaine squeezed his fingers and took far too much delight in Sebastian's grunt. "If this is what hell frozen over is like, then it can stay frozen."
"Good answer," Sebastian replied, shifting his body until one of his legs was between Blaine's thighs. He hasn't realised how achingly hard he had grown with the fleeting touches and lingering, dirty kisses until Sebastian's leg pressed into him and he felt the dig of Sebastian's cock into his thigh.
"Shit," Blaine swore, coaxing Sebastian's hips into a slow rhythm and gasping for breath at how sensitive he was. "Fuck, I need more. P-Please, I-"
"Say no more," Sebastian said, easily undressing him and discarding the clothes by the bed.
Blaine suddenly felt vulnerable and exposed, lying beneath someone who had, at one stage, nearly blinded him.
"Dollar for your thoughts, mouse?" Sebastian murmured, his hand wrapping around Blaine's cock and he nearly came just from that if Sebastian's question hadn't distracted him.
"I-" He swallowed, his voice suddenly rough. "I was just…thinking about how you know what you're doing and…I'm totally naked and you're not…"
Sebastian made a little "mmm" noise before shifting again and within seconds, Blaine could feel Sebastian's bare legs against his own, the soft skin of his hard cock rubbing against Blaine's bare skin. He didn't realise he could get more hard until that moment.
"Is that a little better?" Sebastian said, guiding their cocks together and placing Blaine's hands back on his ass.
"S-Some, yes," Blaine gritted out. It was getting difficult to think straight.
"Y'know…" Sebastian puffed warm breaths of air over the increasingly sweaty skin of Blaine's neck and collarbone before returning to hover his face above Blaine's. "I haven't actually been with that many people."
"I've only gone the whole way with two people, one who was sort of an on-again, off-again thing when I was in France," Sebastian admitted, kissing the edge of Blaine's lips. "It's more for show. Don't forget, I can't be too promiscuous with my father's precious reputation to uphold. I've made out with a lot of people but I haven't gone too far with most of them."
Blaine's hand slipped over Sebastian's increasingly slick body as he grasped Sebastian's cheek. "No talking about your father in bed, alright?"
"Totally a deal," Sebastian agreed, kissing him deeply as Blaine both led the kiss and the pace with which Sebastian rolled against him.
It gradually got faster, more frantic, more sweat-soaked, as Blaine struggled to maintain his rhythm and Sebastian struggled to keep kissing him until their hands were hitting each other, moving to stroke and pull. Blaine came a split second before Sebastian, crying out into Sebastian's neck while Sebastian muffled his shout into the pillow beneath Blaine's head, canting his hips erratically as they each worked through their orgasms.
Blaine trembled with aftershocks as Sebastian's kisses turned slow and lazy before Sebastian finally leaned over the bed and when Blaine was about to ask him what he was doing, he gave a quiet triumphant cheer and Blaine felt the soft wipe of tissues against his stomach.
"I almost feel like I should be disappointed," Sebastian commented as he wrapped up the tissues and rolled off, shuffling in the darkness to where Blaine assumed he was disposing of the soiled tissues.
"Disappointed?" Blaine bit his lip, worrying he'd done something wrong.
"Yeah. I mean, look at it this way." The bed dipped and Sebastian was back on top of him, smooth naked skin and long limbs. "You said your ass was off limits but not your mouth, and I've thought up dozens of filthy fantasies involving those lips and my dick."
Blaine rolled his eyes as his face heated up, shoving Sebastian off him playfully. "Next time, maybe."
"Next time?" Blaine swore he could see Sebastian's eyebrow rise in the darkness. "Blaine Anderson is voluntarily giving me a next time?"
Blaine snorted, leaning over to kiss Sebastian quickly. "Blaine Anderson will give Sebastian Smythe a lot of next times."
"Excellent." There was a sound of a stifled yawn and Blaine smiled. "Can the next 'next time' be in the morning after I've had some sleep?"
"Definitely." Blaine curled into Sebastian's side, feeling like he should be a little abashed at his nudity but Sebastian seemed totally comfortable with it. Naked cuddling, falling asleep naked, just wasn't something he had ever really done with Kurt before.
"Thank you," Sebastian murmured, wrapping an arm around Blaine and nuzzling into his hair.
"For not giving up on finding out what had happened and sticking by me when you found out."
Blaine laid his hand over Sebastian's chest, feeling the heartbeat beneath his fingertips. "Thank you for reading my messages and realising I needed someone."
"I got sex out of it eventually so any time."
Blaine froze before drawing back. "Is that all it was? Becoming my friend so you could finally say you'd had sex with me?"
"Blaine." Sebastian sat up, blindly groping for Blaine's face in the darkness until his hand patted curly hair and stroked down to cradle Blaine's face. "You are worth so much more than that. I would have been fine with being your friend and no sex."
"Well. Mostly. Your ass really is too tempting."
Blaine's cheeks heated up again and worse, Sebastian could probably feel it beneath his hands.
"Seriously, Blaine. This was not even remotely about sex. You needed someone. I bet anyone who got your texts every day would have seen that. I'm just surprised, honoured and glad it was me because I like who you are and it's nice to finally have a chance."
Blaine finally relaxed, leaning in to kiss Sebastian slowly until he had to stop to yawn.
"So you're okay?"
Blaine nodded and Sebastian with his hands on his face felt it. After letting Sebastian settle back down and cuddling into his shoulder, Blaine whispered, "I'm okay."
"Good. Night, Blaine."
"Night, Sebastian," he murmured, feeling content with a boy that a year ago, he positively loathed. Perhaps miracles did happen.
Full Prompt: Prompt #12 is: Sebastian and Blaine didn't speak again after the whole slushy incident. Months later, when Kurt and Blaine have broken up, Blaine goes to Dalton because he misses his friends. He is secretly hoping Sebastian will be there, because they left things extremely awkward and neither made any effort to keep in touch afterwards. Turns out when Blaine returns to Dalton, Sebastian is no longer part of the Warblers. He quit and seems no longer to be even interested in show choir, or having them as friends. Blaine goes looking for Sebastian at Lacrosse practice and finds him, but something seems "off" about Sebastian. Blaine wants to be friends again but Sebastian keeps pushing him off. Until Blaine finds out what happened. Turns out Blaine's parents spoke to Sebastian's parents about what happened and Sebastian's dad was very severe with Sebastian, getting to the point of physically abusing him. So while Blaine had nothing to do, Sebastian doesn't want anything to do with him anymore. How things wind up is up to the filler, but I want basically a story of how Blaine is now the one who pursues Sebastian. Most Seblaine fics come the other way around, because of canon, but I would LOVE to see Blaine trying to win Sebastian's heart back.
A/N: This is only going to be a one-shot since it's a mini bang. Hopefully the original prompter is happy :) Happy Christmas!