"I have no one to blame. I brought this upon myself. This is the sure end for someone who falls only for physical appearances..." Kisa exhaled, the misty air fogging his eyes, head and his cold heart.

The Torn Canvas

Kisa Shouta, a person whose only striking characteristic was his very young appearance despite his age almost crawled his way out of a motel. With his aching limbs, his sore eyes from crying and his croaky voice from screaming, in that cold winter, everyone just passed by the almost dead man.

January, he met a man. Tall, well-built, a government employee, mild mannered. That was before Kisa broke the news that he was just going for a physical relationship and that everything was over between them. Like a time bomb, the man exploded and hurt Kisa.

"If we're ending our one week relationship, then I'd better take you, a year's worth!"

And true to his word, the once mild mannered guy violated Kisa over and over and over again, and left him without a goodbye.

With delicate hands, he pulled his hood trying to hide his face from the world as he made his way into the after-work rush hour. He walked limply, for all sorts of reasons and tried to stay on the very corners of the streets. Sniffing the cold air that numbed his entire being, he collided into a young girl.

"Oww-" The girl exclaimed massaging her bottom and then started grabbing her scattered belongings.

Kisa's hood fell off but he didn't care. How could he possibly knock over a girl as little as this?

"Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere?" He asked, helping the girl to stand up and picking up pieces of papers at the same time.

The young girl's huge brown eyes stared at the bluish marks under Kisa's left eye for a moment and then frowned, suddenly refusing Kisa's help.

"I'm okay, nii-san. Don't worry," she said after finally placing the papers back into her paper bag.

Staring into one of the papers sticking out from the paper bag, Kisa pulled his hood back on his head and knelt before the girl. "The paper said, museum clean-up? Are you one of those volunteers?"

The girl lit up and pulled the paper out of the paper bag. "Eh~ Yes I am a volunteer, we cleaned the hallways and the garden but we're not allowed to touch the paintings though."

"Can I join?"

"No." The girl answered right away. "No because the clean-up drive finished today. Oh yeah, but nii-san, here..." the girl started going through the paper mess in the bag and pulled a crampled one.

Curiousity hiking, Kisa took the extended paper designed to be an old parchment and read it out loud. "'Voucher: 50% discount'...you're giving this to me?"

Nodding, which sent her pigtails swaying, the girl stood on her toes and smiled. "Yup! They're still open today nii-san. But they're very old paintings and not the popular ones. The teacher told us they're selling those stuff stuck in the basement of the museum. Instead of rotting there, the paintings would be happier to get a caring owner. The funds will go to the renovation of our school so please do buy something okay?!"

After giving the voucher, the girl ran away and disappeared in the sea of men and women in business attires. They were almost a group of people wearing black and in Kisa's eyes, they looked like they were mourning. Every one of them. Perhaps for him?

It took Kisa no less than 30 minutes of walking to reach the state museum. It was about closing time when he arrived and the stuff for display on the museum grounds were being hauled back into the basement. Sighing out his lucklessness at everything, he ran his eyes at the vases and other stuff that were still there.

"Hmm...they're...old..." he told himself as he scrutinized the small framed paintings lying on the white table.

"Hello! Found something good to buy?"

"AH!" Kisa almost lost his balance when, out of nowhere, a high school boy popped suddenly in front of him.

Scratching his messy head, the boy bowed his head in apology. "Uwah-I am so sorry to have surprised you like that!"

"Ahaha-it's alright..." Kisa replied, embarrassed at thinking how stupid must be the face he pulled on at that time.

"They're all nice...but...they're quiet expensive..." Kisa started as he looked back at the paintings. Despite the voucher, he'd be broke if he purchased one.

The boy looked down at the paintings and smiled knowingly. "Well, although they're not popular, and not made by famous painters, their nicely done. And they have endured a lot to stay intact till these years, so I guess, their price isn't that bad right? And the sales will be for a cause too."

Kisa felt his face grow hot. The kid sounded more mature than he was it was embarrassing. "Eh~ I really would like to buy something but do you have something...cheaper?"

"Hmm...cheaper huh?" The kid repeated, closing his eyes as if rammaging his brains. He then bended and pulled a huge box and placed it on the empty part of the table. "Here, these are cheaper...but...they're damaged paintings though. I didn't think someone would like to buy something damaged so we didn't put it on display."

"Can I look into them?"

"Sure, go ahead!"

Kisa stared first at the dusty box. When he opened it, he was welcomed by rolled canvases tied by strings, ribbons or anything. It was clearly a collection of dump. Obviously, the paintings inside were not taken care of as it was rolled just like that, completely forgotten by the people and time.

He slowly took one rolled canvas and caught a whiff of old paint in the air. Pulling the silver string, he gently unrolled the thick fabric and was mesmirized by what he saw. It was a view of the old capital of Japan, Kyoto in all of its glory.

"This is...good..." Kisa suddenly got excited and started looking deeper into the box. He was no art genius, but he knew he liked something that stirs the heart. He pulled three rolled canvas out and the boy just watched Kisa, waiting. Just when he was about to open one, he noticed a canvas in the very corner of the box, with a rubber in it. For some reason, he left the first paintings he grabbed and took that one painting.

"Ah-Sir, that one is no good..." The boy interrupted.

"No good?"

Kisa took the rubber off and slowly flattened the painting. And when he finally got to take a full look of the painting, Kisa was speechless. If he was going to describe how a prince should look like, 'this' was definitely it.

The painting was very old, the picture wasn't very clear anymore, despite that, Kisa didn't fail to notice the easy smile of the dark-blonde guy who was half naked on a sheet of blue smiling towards something. His hair, his eyes, his face, everything seemed so real in Kisa's eyes. And he couldn't help but smile himself. The painting seemed to be alive.

He ran his small hands softly on the fabric and then, his brows furrowed. The guy on the painting was holding on to something. He could see a hand in between the smiling guy's fingers. His eyes were even smiling towards the one who owns the hand, but that was a dead end. The painting had burn marks on where the continuation of the painting should have been.


"That's why it's no good Sir. That painting, no one knew how it got into a state like that, but the old clerk said they call it 'the torn canvas'," the boy explained, as he rolled back the other paintings.

"'Torn?' But this is burnt..."

"Ah-there were some stories that when that painting arrived here, the other half was already torn, by who we don't know, some said the painter was that guy on the painting himself and he torn the painting because his lover betrayed him, you know...all those sort of rumors that became a legend. It just had those burn marks because of the fire last year but thankfully it wasn't that bad."

Feeling sad at how such a lovely painting got into that condition, Kisa ran his thumb on the cheek of the man in the painting. "You look so happy...I wonder...for whom your smile was for...I wish the painting wasn't torn into half..." Kisa thought to himself. Then, smiling confidently which he hadn't done in a while, he faced the baffled boy. "I'm going to buy this."


Kisa breath of calmness and relief after he have hung the fabric on the wall of his room using a shirt hanger.

"Just bear with it for a while...I'll buy you a frame on the next pay out." Kisa said towards the old style painting on a fabric, beaming.

After taking a bath, he dropped dead on his bed. Tired body and soul, he fastly dozed off.

"Hmm?" Kisa rolled on his bed, feeling another presence in his flat.

"What?!" He gasped when he heard a vase crash down on the floor. Slowly leaving his bed, he took small steps out of his room and tiptoed towards his small living room. He could hear his own heart drumming violently inside his chest. Sweat forming on his forehead that ran down to the tip of his nose, he inhaled. There was nothing good in his flat for a thief to take a liking of. He didn't have much money either. He was a complete commoner. "My god...what if it's a serial killer...?"

Kisa forced his trembling legs to inch forward only to feel his body violently leave the floor. His eyes grew wide, trying to see into the dim room. He tried to scream, but no sound came from his mouth as he felt a cold hand press hard on his mouth. He struggled, but the strenght of his assaulter was great, he was no match.

A violent thud filled the room, as Kisa fell on his stomach.

"Wh-what do you want!?" Kisa croaked, feeling his arms would leave its sockets as they were being pinned by his assaulter.

"I see, you still forget to lock your flat as if you're inviting someone to come in..." the husky voice whispered into the back of Kisa's ears.

Gulping, Kisa tried to turn his head as much as he can to confirm what he was thinking.


A chuckle. "Bingo."

With all his might, Kisa turned his body so that he could glare into his boyfriend's eyes. Ex-boyfriend. Not that it helped a lot since it was really quiet dim.

"What the fuck are you playing at! Get off me!"

"Eh-we just broke up a couple of days ago and you already treat me this cold?" Rio mumbled, slowly running his hands on Kisa's chest.

Not in the mood for it, specially with this crazy man, Kisa slapped the hands as he tried to scramble away. But Rio was just too fast, he grabbed Kisa's dark locks and slammed him back against the floor.

"Just comfort me for tonight, alright? I'll feel good, you'll feel good, we get an equal deal of the bargain..."

"Don-t joke with~ah!"

Rio just gave Kisa a hard blow on the side of his body that left Kisa numb and gasping for air. The pain was enough to blur Kisa's head, he could only whimper.

"Now, now...just be a good neko and pleasure me like you always do..." excitedly, Rio had pulled Kisa's pyjamas off so easily and was feeling Kisa's pert butt cheeks with his hands.


Despite Kisa's struggles, Rio was deaf and already succumbing to his own world of lusts. And no matter how strong Kisa tried to be, he just couldn't. Not when his arms and legs were still sore and aching from his last encounter with his closet iron-handed ex boyfriend. He could only shed tears.

"Shi-t...why...do I always end up with assholes..." Kisa asked inside his brain, although he knew the answer very well.

Just when Kisa was about to accept his fate that night; that he was going to be a sex toy of his ex boyfriend yet again, he suddenly felt the weight of Rio leaving him and a nauseating crack of bones filled his ears.

"Grah-what the hell...?" Rio grunted, trying to stand but failed.

Kisa turned to look at the sound and saw Rio lying on the floor, pain painted all over his face.

"What happened...?"

"When someone says 'stop', you have to stop, you ingrate."

"Huh?" Kisa froze. "There's another one?" Slowly, Kisa brought his eyes towards the deep voice he heard for the first time. And although it was dim, he didn't fail to recognize the man standing naked, with all the pride of a royalty in front of him.

The guy in the painting.

hello! hisashiburi minna!

well...i;ve been very busy..hahaha...and uhm...the last chappy of break down is still waiting to be finished...^^

but i was really being bothered by this story so i have to post it first. it may look like very common...but i hope you give the upcoming chapters a try.^^

thanks for dropping by!