A/N: And at last, the epilogue. *sighs* I will miss it.

"Eyeshadow Is For Ukes"

Miroku craned his head back and gave the remains of the courtyard gate a baleful look. It appeared that the Tetsusaiga had gotten some good use in again. The thing was little more than hinges and splinters.

"Houshi-chan . . . ?" a hopeful voice asked, and he looked back down, finding Rin before him.

"Hello, Rin-chan," he said simply, giving her a happy smile.

The girl leapt straight into his arms with a cry of delight. "You came back!" she cheered. "Rin was so afraid you wouldn't!"

"Well, I did. So there." Miroku stuck his tongue out at her and the girl giggled. "Where's Sesshoumaru-sama?"

"Rin's Sesshoumaru-sama went to his room," Rin informed him. "He was very upset about the mess and that his otouto-chan stole you without him noticing until it was too late. But you are Sesshoumaru-sama's mate only, right? Not at all for his otouto-chan."

"Right," Miroku agreed warmly, pulling the girl up on his hip and starting towards the palace itself, which was sporting a few new "doors" but for the most part undamaged.

Jaken was leaning against the front door, slightly bruised and half-dozing. He cracked an eye open at their approach and grunted. "About time you got back, monk," he muttered, then yawned and returned to his nap.

"You know you missed me, old man," Miroku teased, lightly tapping his own staff against the other's.

Jaken just snorted and waved him off. "Go play with m'lord and keep me out of your warped affections," he ordered, still not opening his eyes.

"Whatever you say, Jaken," the monk chuckled, and left Rin with the youkai to go inside and do as he'd been told. It definitely wasn't an order he had any trouble following.

He padded down the hall, careful to avoid the debris on the floor, and found himself at Sesshoumaru's bedroom door almost too soon- yet at the same time, not soon enough. It was ajar, and he peered in, eyes widening at the mess. It looked as if some had let a wild dog loose . . . in . . . oh. Duh, Miroku.

Sesshoumaru kneeled on the futon, his head in his remaining hand and kimono's sleeves shredded, dried blood caking the stump that had been his prosthesis.

"Fool . . . " he hissed at himself. "Gods damned FOOL . . . You should've been stronger . . . " The youkai made a noise that almost might've been a sob and slammed his fist through the floor.

"Hey, sugar pie," Miroku greeted with a lazy grin. "Miss me?"

Judging by the speed with which Sesshoumaru tackled him, he had indeed.

"You . . . came back," Sesshoumaru rasped, sounding like he didn't even believe himself.

"Yeah, I kinda already knew that," Miroku replied, his grin widening.

Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed. "Bastard. I thought you'd run away."

"You kidding?" Miroku gave him a dubious look. "After all the sexual tension I went through because of you, I'm not going anywhere until I get laid at least once!"

"I could arrange that . . . " Sesshoumaru breathed into the monk's ear.

"About damned time!" he yelled. "You've been torturing me with this for days now!"

"But I'm all dirty," Sesshoumaru pouted- yes, pouted. "Maybe we should go take a bath . . . ?" Then-some amber eyes gleamed with a combination of mischief and seductive light.

Miroku gave him a thoughtful look. "Only if I'm on top."

"Whaaat?!" Sesshoumaru squawked, practically falling over.

"I wanna be seme!" Miroku insisted, pouting in a very un-semelike way. Sesshoumaru twitched.

"Who's the lord here?!"

"I absolutely refuse to believe that you can possibly be anything but uke with that much make-up on."

" . . . you did NOT just go there."

* ende *

End Notes: Well, it's done. *sniffles* I really will miss this story- it was terribly fun to write. But it's at least twice as long as I'd originally planned, and I'm happy with it as it is, so I really think it's best to end here. Thanks to all my reviewers- it's because of you this story went for so long!

One last thing- there IS another Miroku x Sesshoumaru fic I've been thinking about writing. Anybody wanna see it?

. : make me a happy author. review the mad l33t story : .