Author's Note: So, I was wondering what my next fanfiction project should be, when I was talking about Persona 4 online a few nights ago and remembered this.
This story was a fill I did on the Person 4 Kinkmeme that I sadly ended up losing track of before it was finished. Well, to make up for that, I am going to change all that. First, the existing story shall be posted, remastered, proofed, and re-arranged into a new chapter format. Then, when that's all up, I shall finally give this work a worth conclusion.
Enjoy! I know I will.
Oh, and I'm using 'Souji Seta', not 'Yu Narukami.' Mostly because the majority of what will be posted here was written before there was a 'Yu Narukami', but also, I just like that name more.
Chapter One: The Worst Part of Dying is the Morning After
Yosuke blinked a few times, to make sure he wasn't dreaming. No such luck.
He was surrounded by fluffy white clouds, rainbows, and sunshine, which was fine. Nothing wrong with that sort of thing. Clouds were cool.
The problem was that there were also a bunch of people with wings flying around. That was less cool. Not the wings themselves, but rather the implications of people with wings. The first thing that came to mind was 'angel', and if a bunch of angels were flying around, that sort of meant he was dead. Not cool.
How did this happen?Yosuke thought. His mind was incredibly fuzzy for some reason, and finding out that he was dead wasn't really helping.Dead, dead, dead…the word echoed in his mind mockingly. "I… I can't really be dead?" He muttered to nobody in particular.
"Thou can indeed be dead, Yosuke Hanamura!" An enormous voice boomed. From on high, a creature seemingly made entirely of silvery metal descended on a pair of enormous silver-white wings.
"Gah!" Yosuke said eloquently, slightly startled by the great shiny flying man shouting at him.
"Yosuke Hanamura! I am the Metatron, the Voice of the One True God! Thou hast passed from the Mortal Coil, but Fear Not! Thou hast led a good life, and thy soul shalt now live eternally in the Kingdom of Heaven!"
"Dude, do you have no indoor voice?!" Yosuke asked, covering his ears against the vast, echoing shouts.
"I do not! The Voice of God must resound across all the Heavens, that all might know the Power and the Glory!" Metatron shouted.
"I get it! Power and glory, Heaven is cool, got it! Could you please be a little quieter?!"
"Ugh, fine! Then if you insist on screaming into my ear, could you at least answer some questions for me while you do it?"
"I am a Holy Font of Divine Wisdom!" Metatron bellowed.
"Was that a yes?"
"Indeed, the Coolness of Myself is great and true! Yet it is not Perfect Coolness, for only the Divine Will of the Almighty Lord may truly be called Perfection!"
"…Sure. That's great."
"Indeed it is!
"Um… okay. Questions, questions… well, here's one. To start off… how did I die?"
"Gaze, and behold!" Metatron shouted. He raised a single silvery arm, and the clouds swirled together, forming a vortex that Yosuke found his mind irresistibly drawn to…
Floating above the streets of Inaba, Yosuke looked down on himself.
Not just himself, but the entire team, walking out of Yasogami High. He… the floating "he", not the "he" walking with the others… took a brief moment to glance at himself, finding himself to be transparent in addition to floating in the sky. "Heh… okay, this is kinda cool. I wonder if anybody can see me?"
"They cannot!" A familiar voice roared from about three inches behind him.
"GAH!" Yosuke snapped, practically jumping out of his transparent skin. He whirled in the air to see Metatron floating serenely beside him. "Stop doing that!"
"Doing what?!" Metatron shout-asked.
"… Never mind." Yosuke said resignedly. "Okay, so what's going on here?"
"We art looking through time itself, to see the last moments of thine mortal existence! Gaze now, Yosuke Hanamura, upon the moment of thine death!" Metatron shouted.
"Really? I would have expected it to be in the TV world. I guess my memory really is fuzzy…" Yosuke said glumly. He watched as his past self walked along with his friends, the group of them chatting warmly, as friends would. Someone, usually Yosuke himself, would engage in the occasional teasing, sure; just to screw with Kanji's mind or watch Naoto turn red. Just a normal day.
But then, Yosuke saw it. The truck, out of control, screaming down the street. The driver was asleep at the wheel. The team didn't see it, but… wait, just judging by the way they were walking, they would be to safety well before it reached them. Yosuke was wondering if maybe this was just coincidence… then Rise stopped behind them to tie her shoe. She was on the sidewalk, she wasn't stupid, but the truck was swerving so madly and she didn't see it coming…
Rise isn't dead, though… so is that what happened? I saw her in trouble, and I jumped to push her out of the way. Yosuke thought. Strangely, the realization that he was about to watch his own death didn't worry him at all. I died. But if I died saving a friend… well, if you have to go out, that's the way to do it, he thought with a sense of deep satisfaction.
Several things happened then.
The truck driver woke up and, seeing he was about to kill a helpless girl, desperately wrenched the wheel to one side and slammed down on the brakes. The truck turned back into the street, and missed Rise cleanly, but as a result it also snapped the trailer it was carrying behind it like a whip. And inside that trailer, one single, solitary piece of cargo broke free from its bonds and struck the doors with enough force to be ejected from the truck. One single, large piece of cargo.
The piano sailed through the air.
"Holy crap!" Chie shrieked as she watched the projectile piano smash Yosuke into a building. On the plus side, the piano was very well-tuned, so the sound it made on impact wasn't horribly unpleasant. On the negative side… well… Yosuke was hit with a big frickin' piano.
"… What," Souji said, his mind apparently not quite able to get across any thought but that.
Yukiko opened her mouth, then closed it again, then opened it again. No sounds came out.
Kanji wasn't even able to get as far as "then closed it again."
"What," Souji said again.
"Calm… everybody stay calm." Naoto said. "He… may still be alive…"
With a hideous shrieking crunching noise, a second truck slammed into the first one. This impact apparently dislodged something, because a second piano flew from the wreck to crash violently into the one that was already on top of Yosuke.
"Holy crap!" Chie shrieked again.
"… Or not." Naoto finished.
"You have gotto be kidding me!" Yosuke… Dead, Floating Yosuke, obviously… said.
"I kid thee not!" Metatron shouted.
"I was killed by a flying piano?!" He snapped in disbelief.
"Nay! Thou wert killed by TWO flying pianos!" Metatron corrected him.
A car, turning a corner too quickly and spotting the wrecked trucks too late, swerved madly and slammed into the pile of musical instruments and Yosuke. It then exploded.
"Oh, come on!" Dead Yosuke… well, both Yosukes were dead at this point… shouted in mounting annoyance.
"Worry not! Thou wert already quite dead before yon horseless chariot struck!" Metatron reassured him.
"Not my point, dude!"
Below them, Naoto turned to Souji and said, in a slightly shell-shocked voice, "I… um… I don't think he's going to make it, Senpai."
"What," Souji said.
"I can't believe I was killed by a piano!" Yosuke wailed.
"Two pianos! The car would have killed thee as well, were thou not already dead when it collided with thee! Worry not for the driver, for he only suffered minor burns! Only thee were killed in yon accident!" Metatron shouted.
"Again, not my point!" Yosuke snapped. "This is the worst death imaginable! I didn't save anyone, I didn't accomplish anything! There are Looney Tunes characters that go out with more dignity than that!"
"Nay! The Looney Tunes characters survive such acts, while thou art most certainly dead!" Metatron shouted helpfully.
Yosuke sighed. "That is not as reassuring as you seem to think."
"Art thou certain?! Because I think it is quite reassuring and I am rarely wrong!"
"… I hate you, man." Yosuke said. "Come on, let's go back to Heaven before… I don't know, a pack of rabid gerbils come and eat my body or something."
"It is strange that thou should mention…" Metatron began.
"Let's go!" Yosuke said insistently.
Metatron waved his hand, and Inaba dissolved before Yosuke's eyes, returning him to Heaven. "Wert though satisfied with thy death, Yosuke Hanamura?!" Metatron shouted.
"Of course I'm not satisfied! My death sucked!"
"My apologies! If 'tis any condolence, thou suffered for a very short time!"
"Yeah, yeah… I guess that's good…"
"But in those few minutes, the agony thou experienced was…" Metatron began.
"Stop reassuring me!" Yosuke said quickly, cutting off the angel before he could explain just how horrible the pain had been. Some things, he was happier not knowing. "So… I'm really dead?"
"Guess I'd better make the best of it. What is there to do in Heaven?"
"Is there anything else to do? Anything at all?"
"Greeting newcomers, like thyself!"
"That… that sounds really boring." Yosuke said bluntly.
"Well… there is one other thing!"
"Lay it on me."
"Thou couldst become a WARRIOR ANGEL!" Metatron bellowed, his voice becoming even louder than usual.
"Ooooooh, that's what I'm talkin' about!" Yosuke said, grinning. "That sounds pretty awesome! How do I do that?"
"First, thou must approach Michael, the Leader of the Heavenly Host and greatest of the Warrior Angels! He shall smite thee!"
"Okay, sounds great so f… wait, what was that last part?"
"To test thy strength!
"So… so he's just gonna beat the crap out of me?"
"Yea, for nigh unto a dozen fortnights!" Metatron said enthusiastically
"O… okay… and after I get beaten to a pulp for weeks on end, what happens then?"
"Then, thou shalt be made pure! Thou shalt be bathed in Holy Flame, to burn away thy sin and fill thy soul with loyalty to God!"
"Bathed in holy flame."
"Will that… y'know… hurt?"
"More than thou couldst possibly imagine!" Metatron said proudly.
"Wow. Inconceivable agony. That's… that's great. And at the end of it, I'll be… basically brainwashed?"
"'Twas added into the program after that 'Lucifer' fiasco! Yet know that we do not call it 'brainwashing' for verily, brainwashing doth have negative connotations! 'Tis a Public Relations nightmare!"
"But it is brainwashing."
"Indeed it is! Yet we call it 'a trust-building exercise to maximize efficiency and achieve synergy!'"
"So let me get this straight. Basically, you're saying that my options here in 'heaven' are to do nothing, forever… or to get my ass kicked for several weeks by the biggest badass Archangel, after which I will be set on fire and brainwashed."
"Indeed! But when thou put it like that, it sounds bad!" Metatron shouted.
"That's because it is bad! Dude, Heaven sucks!"
"It could be worse!"
"In Hell, the fire 'tis not optional!"
"… Touché. But still, I don't want to be here, either! Look, even if Heaven didn't completely suck, I would still prefer to be alive! There's kind of some important things I need to do back home. I can't behere!" Yosuke said.
"Thou hast no choice, Yosuke Hanamura! Thou art sort of dead! The places thou canst go number precisely two, and this one is better than the other choice!"
"You're sure there's no way for me to be alive again?"
"Nay! No such path exists! There is certainly no way that anyone could ever possibly raise thee from the dead! Thou art deceased! Thou hast passed beyond the mortal coil!"
"Dammit! There's really no way? At all?"
"Crap… what am I gonna do now…?"
"Except for Almighty God! He could restore thee to life!"
"…And you didn't say that earlier becauuuuuuuse?" Yosuke asked irritably.
"Didn't really think about it!" Metatron proclaimed grandiosely.
"This is a horrible idea, Yosuke Hanamura!" Metatron said.
"No. Staying here in 'worst heaven ever', that's a bad idea. Trying to get out is exactly the opposite," Yosuke said.
"The Almighty does not like interruptions!" Metatron bellowed nervously.
"He's God! Infinite love and patience, right? He'll be willing to listen to me for a few minutes." Yosuke said.
Metatron stopped dead, eyes wide. "Infinite love and patience?" He mouthed silently, as if in disbelief. It was notable for likely being the first time he had done anything "silently" since the dawn of time.
Yosuke continued his resolute march toward where he assumed God was; it was the only building he could see, and given that it was a magnificent crystalline cathedral hundreds of miles high and surrounded by chanting angels, it seemed a good bet. He marched through the immaculate halls that gleamed with the light of eternal salvation, and as he did his anger began to be replaced with a sense of wonder. Since what he was doing was sort of insane, he hadn't really stopped to consider it, but with each new splendor he witnessed, he began to recognize something. He was about to meet God. The creator of the Universe. Father of All Things. He, Yosuke Hanamura, was about to meet that being.
Sure, Heaven sucked, a lot, but Yosuke had to admit that meeting God made the whole ordeal very nearly worth it.
He came upon the Doors, then. The Doors were a hundred feet high, and the golden flames engraved upon them were so magnificent that Yosuke imagined he could actually feel heat from the cool metal, almost thought he could hear them crackling. He pressed the doors, and they opened readily to his touch, as though he were not "entering" so much as being "called home." Within, he saw a field of brilliant stars as far as the eye could see, and very nearly fainted just from the sight, his mind unable to comprehend how this infinite space could have existed inside the Cathedral, however huge it might have been. And it was within this space that he truly felt God for the first time; a great presence that pressed against his mind, ancient and wise beyond the telling of it. A shape, indescribably vast, magnificently radiant and ever-shifting in appearance, filled his vision.
It was Awesome; not in the idiotic way that was used so often these days but in the truest sense of the word. It filled him with Awe, the genuine wonder of standing in the presence of the Creator. The presence acknowledged him, and he felt complete. It spoke, and he felt wonder.
"Filthy mortal insect, thou reek of sin. How dare thou enter My Divine Presence?" God said.
"… … … Wait, what?" Yosuke said. That feeling of awe and serenity hadn't lasted long, had it?
Author's Note: For those not in the know: Traditionally speaking God is not a very nice guy in Shin Megami Tensei. I saw no reason why Persona should be an exception, did you? Infinite love and patience are not on the menu for poor Yosuke.
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