A Family Affair
McGee, cancer fic :( First attempt at a fic EVER
Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS or any of the characters. If I did, I would be the coolest thirteen year old on the planet.
The hospital bed he was resting on felt so cold. He looked at the blur of the people rushing around him and then everything stopped as a man in a white lab coat approached.
" Do I have it?" He said before the man in the lab coat could open his mouth and start the false proprieties and lame condolences. He shuddered, he couldn't even say the name.
" I'm sorry to inform you, sir, but you have stage 4a Hodgkin's Lymphoma."
The man on the bed was silent.
" What are my chances of survival?"
" Though the survival rate at this stage is low, I believe you have a chance. You are young and strong. We need to start you on a round of chemo before surgery and then after surgery, one more round. If you aren't in remission after the last round of chemo, sir, you won't make it." The doctor looked regretful and sorry
- he's too young, it's not his time yet-
If you'll sign here, Mr. McGee, we can get started by this time next week." The doctor held out a clipboard with a pen attached to it using broken rubber bands.
The wan young agent picked up the pen with a shaking hand and signed the form hastily, " I need to go, I have to take of some things."
He got up and quickly left the bed in the crowded hospital. It wasn't fair; he wasn't supposed to die like this. Special Agent Timothy McGee was supposed to die taking down a terrorist or protecting his teammates. He WASN'T supposed to die slowly from an awful disease. And now he had to tell everyone. He had to reveal that even though he almost never got shot or injured in the field, he could get a disease that could… No, would kill him…
Then the elevator dinged. He was here already, he noticed while looking at his teammates who were working like it was just another day. He chuckled despite himself, to them it was another day. Tony was talking about his encounters with the hot barista from the cafe across the street and Ziva was making sarcastic comebacks to the jokes and suggestive innuendos he threw her way.
He took a deep breath and walked to his desk.
" Hey guys, where's Gibbs?" he blocked any emotion from his voice with the exception of the truthful curiosity he felt.
"MTAC. There's a child rapist and we are going working the weekend through until we find him." Ziva replied with a sigh.
Tim sat back down, ' A child rapist? This is way more important! I can wait untill Monday to tell everyone, can't I? No McGee, stop trying to put this off. This is important and Gibbs would want to know.'
"Do you know when's he gonna come out?" Tim tried to ask nonchalantly.
Tony looked over at him curiously, " No, McGee, what's so important that it takes priority over a rapist?" he hadn't meant for the words to sound so venomous, but come on, whatever he had to say could wait a few minutes... Couldn't it?
Tim silently cursed himself for being so insensitive, these cases always bothered tony, even more than the others. "Nothing. I'll tell you later okay?" He felt an odd pressure in his stomach and realized belatedly that he was on the verge of throwing up. " I'll be right back," McGee replied walking out of the bullpen, trying to act as inconspicuous as he could as he basically fell into a bathroom stall, retching.
As he sat on the cold floor of the bathroom stall, Tim struggled to keep it together. ' You can cry about this later, right now your team needs you to help on this case. You can deal with everything LATER!' So he stood up shook himself off and walked to the sinks, glad no one else was in the bathrooms to witness him in his weakest state. He cupped his hands under the stream of water coming from the faucet then lifted the water up to his mouth and rinsed it out, trying to make the stench of his regurgitated breakfast less noticeable. Then, he splashed his face with water to make himself look less pale and sickly than he was.
He took a few deep, shaky breaths while looking in the mirror at himself. No, that wasn't him. That person in the mirror wasn't Tim. He was just a sick, defeated looking man. That wasn't Tim. He repeated that last sentence to himself as he then looked away from the mirror, straightened his back, and took one last deep breath before exiting the bathroom.
As Tim approached the bullpen area, he stopped momentarily. Gibbs had returned from MTAC and didn't look happy, to say the least. 'Well, fuck. This isn't gonna be a good case for you, Tim.' Then, he snapped out of his thoughts and briskly walked to his desk, doing his best to ignore the look he was sure he was getting from Gibbs for missing the debriefing he had just given to the rest of the team.
"McGee!" A stern voice travelled over to his desk, it was Gibbs. Gibbs was in many ways a father to McGee, but sometimes he could make McGee downright afraid of the man. Now is a good example of one those times.
McGee didn't want to look up, but he forced himself to meet the icy blue eyes that were staring him down. " Yes boss?"
" You mind telling me what you were doing in that bathroom that made you miss the briefing?" The man's voice was annoyed, not caring. This was the kind of case that REALLY affected the boss, because he lost his daughter. These kids had been raped, abused, and killed. Hell, if this case didn't bother him. McGee's suspicions that the boss had actually learned to turn off his feelings would be confirmed.
" Well, are you sure you want to know exactly what I was doing boss?" Tim replied knowing that while it would piss Gibbs off a bit, he wouldn't continue with the line of questioning. But it hurt, the tone of his boss's voice. Like he genuinely didn't care about what was wrong. But how could he know anything was wrong? Tim hadn't said anything to anyone.
"McGee!" He heard the man say, as a stinging sensation occurred on the back of his head. Ah, the famous Gibbs-second-b-for-bastard-head slap. But something was wrong. It hurt more this time, McGee's vision blurred and he stumbled a bit.
'Crap,' McGee thought to himself.
Gibbs looked at his younger agent, and the young man stared back at him. The look in Tim's eyes made him think twice before yelling at him, so he didn't yell.
" McGee, stay here. Tony, Ziva- Yoyu're with me. We're going to go process a crime scene, alone. Apparently McGee can't be bothered from his own thoughts to catch a child molester." With that statement, Gibbs promptly left the bullpen with a shocked looking Tony and Ziva trailing behind.
Tim was stunned. He felt hurt and betrayed. ' If I really mean that little to him then I can just keep this to myself, I don't need his help.'
McGee sighed, he did need help though. He wouldn't be able to go through this alone. He grabbed his cell phone and walked down to autopsy. He needed support, and a friend.
He walked into autopsy.
"Hello?" Tim called out, "Ducky? You here?"
A voice came out from behind a metal cart, " Ouch!"
McGee smiled, "Palmer? Are you alright?"
The young M.E.'s assistant's head peeked up, " Hey Tim! Wow you look like crap!" The young man said in his usual/unusual cheery tone of voice.
"Thanks, Jimmy, that's exactly what it wanted to hear right now." McGee silently cursed himself as he realized that he had let how upset he was slip.
Jimmy studied him with a strange look on his face.
"McGee, do you want to talk maybe? I don't have to go to the crime scene, so I have a good amount a free time right now."
" Sure." Tim said. He and Jimmy had grown close over the years and if he couldn't tell ducky first, Jimmy was a close second. Tim really liked, Jimmy. REALLY liked Jimmy. But Jim was straight. I mean, his ex-fiancée, Breena, was every guys dream girl.
The two sat there for what couldn't have been more than a minute or two. Jimmy eyed Tim the entire time, trying to figure out what was so wrong with his normally vivacious friend.
Then it hit Jimmy. The paleness and tiredness, the way Tim acted resigned from everything and everyone, like he was trying to wean himself off the team. "You're sick aren't you?"
Tim sighed. It was a sigh of both relief and fear. "Yea, Hodgkin's lymphoma, stage 4a."
"Shit! Tim, when are you starting treatment? You had better getting treatment! If you aren't I swear to god I will drag you there myself!" the young man started babbling.
Tim raised his hand up for silence, " I'm starting treatment soon, I have to schedule a medical leave of absence with the Director first, though." McGee frowned at that last comment.
"Crap, Tim... How has everyone else taken it?"
" I haven't told anyone else, we're in the middle of a bad case with children and I don't want to stress everyone out more." Tim responded half-heartedly.
" McGee, you need to tell the Director ASAP! Would you like me to come with you? You know, only if you don't want the others to know right away..." Jimmy blushed at his proposition
Of course he would want his team there! What had He been thinking... Well he knew what he had been thinking. He wanted to be there for the man he's had a crush on for years!
" Would you really do that for me Jim?" Jimmy shivered when he heard Tim call him Jim, so he took a chance.
Jim reached out and grabbed McGee's hand. " Yea, Tim, I would do anything for you."
Tim's eyes widened at that comment. Maybe... maybe Jim DID like him like that.
And they stayed there like that, for at least another 5 minutes. McGee couldn't stand it anymore. He grabbed Jim's head and kissed him. It was... Beautiful. It was slow and sweet and everything their first kiss should be. When McGee backed away he looked into Jimmy's eyes. They were smiling, happy looking eyes.
"What the ACTUAL fuck?"
McGee and Jimmy turned quickly to see Tony standing in the doorway holding a file.