So sorry it's been so long... I was busy with real life stuff and then there was a part at the end that I couldn't get right so I had to keep rewriting it *sigh* Well, anyway, it's up now. I'm thinking that from now on, I'm going to try for weekly updates, probably on Saturdays. If anything should change in that schedule, I'll let you guys know!
Blaine spent the next three days being incredibly angry. Who did Kurt think he was, trying to dictate his life like that? They hardly even knew each other – how was he supposed to know whether or not Blaine was satisfied with his life? Besides, Kurt knew that he didn't date – it had been one of the first things Blaine had told him.
Well, the seldom heard from rational part of his brain reasoned, maybe if you explained to him why you've never dated…
Oh, shut the fuck up, he growled at himself.
Great, he was fighting with himself – he really was losing it. And it was all because he'd met Kurt, he realized, setting his guitar aside, knowing that he was too keyed up to work. If he hadn't met Kurt, he'd still have his sanity.
Then again, if he hadn't met Kurt, he'd still be missing half of himself.
"Blaine!" he heard from behind him the next day at school. He turned to see Jordan – of all people – hurrying towards him. "Glad I found you. Listen, do you have a minute?" Blaine was about to say no, he did have a class after all, but then Jordan said the magic words, "It's about Kurt."
"Okay, yeah." He led Jordan to a nearby bench that was far enough out of earshot. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he said, "Look, if you're here to tell me to forgive Kurt, then you're wasting your time and breath. What he did really pissed me off and I'm going to need a lot longer than three days to get over it. I'm sorry."
"Wait!" Jordan called as Blaine made to leave. He walked back to Jordan and sat down next to him on the bench. He gave him an expectant look, silently trying to convey to him to hurry up because Blaine didn't have all day. "Um… so okay. The thing with Kendall was sort of my idea." Blaine settled in, very intrigued now. "The night after we all went to the movies, Kurt was saying how he felt kind of bad for you and that he didn't want you to be sad. Which didn't make a whole lot of sense to me because you seem like a pretty happy guy, but maybe he knew something that I didn't? Anyway, I suggested to him that he introduce you to a couple of guys to see if that helped any."
"Why are you telling me this?" Blaine didn't think that Jordan was exactly the possessive "he's mine, don't touch" kind of boyfriend, but if Blaine had someone as amazing as Kurt, he'd be at least a little bit wary of other guys. Which meant that he definitely wouldn't be trying to get his fucking soul mate of all people to forgive him and start talking to him again.
Maybe Jordan was just a better person than Blaine.
"So you don't blame Kurt. He really misses you, Blaine, and I hate seeing him upset." Just the thought of Kurt being upset over him twisted Blaine's heart into knots. "I just thought that if you knew that it wasn't Kurt's idea, you'd go a little easier on him and maybe start talking to him again?" He posed it as a question, looking expectantly and somewhat hopefully at Blaine. God, the amount of love this guy had for Kurt was very close to verging on sickening, but it was mostly endearing.
"I'm gonna be straight with you… well, sort of. I have a lot of personal reasons for not dating," the biggest being that I'm in love with your boyfriend, "and I wish Kurt would have asked me before he tried to set something up, regardless of whose idea it had been. I appreciate you coming down here to tell me that, but Kurt… he broke my trust and hurt my pride. That's not something that just goes away."
"Okay I understand," Jordan said, standing. "Just… can you at least think about what I said? He really misses you. Like, a lot." Blaine nodded once. "Well, guess I'll see you around, then."
As he started to walk away, Blaine called his name, causing him to turn back around. "Can you um… let Kurt know that I don't hate him? I'm just upset and need some time to think." Jordan assured him that he would and Blaine sat on the bench for ten minutes after he was gone, just thinking.
Groaning as he felt a headache forming, Blaine decided that he didn't need to go to class today as he picked up his bag and guitar and left campus, hailing a cab.
As they drove towards his apartment building, Blaine closed his eyes, wondering what the fuck he was going to do. He couldn't go to Abby because he knew she agreed with Kurt and she would tell him to get over it (it meaning both the situation and Kurt). He didn't have any other close friends in the city and had lost touch with Wes and David over the years, so he had no other choice but to call Cooper.
"Blaine?" Cooper grumbled when he answered. "What the hell, man? It's, like, noon." He sounded very hung over.
"And you're a thirty-year-old man who needs to stop partying like a frat boy," Blaine chastised. "Look, Coop, I need some… brotherly advice. It's about Kurt," he added when his request was met with a groan.
"I'm listening," Cooper said, sounding more awake than he had when he'd first picked up. "Did he finally dump Assface and proclaim his undying love for you a la Allie and Noah in The Notebook?"
"Okay, two things. First, stop watching romance movies – they make you weird. And second, no. He actually tried to set me up with a friend of his."
"Oh?" Blaine repeated incredulously, having expected a different (read more dramatic) response. "That's all you have to say?"
"Yeah? I mean, it's not a very big deal, is it? Like… Kurt has a boyfriend so why shouldn't you? You deserve to be happy, too, Blaine."
"Why does everyone assume that just because I'm single that I'm unhappy?" Blaine snapped as the cab approached his building. He paid the cabbie and stepped out onto the sidewalk. "Because I'm not. Unhappy, I mean."
"Maybe not unhappy," Cooper allowed gently. "But maybe you're… lonely? And before you say anything because I know damn well you're thinking it, I just mean… don't you want to know what having a boyfriend feels like?"
"…I'm in love with him," Blaine admitted softly, more to himself than Cooper, cocking the phone between his shoulder and his ear as he dug his keys out of his pocket. He entered the apartment and deposited his bag on the kitchen table before walking the two feet it took to be in the living room.
"Oh, Blaine," Cooper said Blaine sunk into the couch, feeling awful. He hated when Cooper said, "Oh, Blaine" like that because it made him feel like a little kid. "Not saying I didn't see this coming, but… how do I put this?"
"But I have to get over it because Kurt's with Jordan and nothing I do will change that, right?" Blaine sneered, parroting what Abby had already told him dozens of times.
"More or less," Cooper agreed. "But," he said in the same breath as Blaine opened his mouth to complain. "That's not to say nothing will ever happen with you and Kurt in the future, but for the time being… you need to live a little, baby brother. You're only twenty years old – you need to start acting like it." A muffled sound came from Cooper's end. "Oh, Ellie's here, gotta go! But think about what I said, okay?" Blaine told him that he would and then hung up, letting Cooper go spend time with his fiancé.
Flopping back onto the couch, Blaine felt his headache intensify and he knew that at this point the only cure was sleep. So he curled in on himself, pressing his face into the cushions, blocking out the world. He fell into a somewhat peaceful slumber, peppered with dreams about Kurt and a tall, faceless man he knew without introduction to be Kendall.
When he woke just as the sun was setting, his head was clearer and Blaine knew exactly what he had to do. Cooper was right – he wasn't exactly like a twenty-year-old should and it was high time he started. He wasn't going to be like his brother and go out drinking four nights a week, but he'd been blessed with a healthy mind and body and he was essentially wasting it. So he decided the next time he saw Kurt (whenever that may be – Blaine wasn't going to seek him out) he was going to ask him for that Kendall guy's number.
He was finally going to start living.
A week after his fight with Blaine, Kurt had had enough. He missed Blaine to the point it was physically painful. He knew from Jordan that Blaine's pride was wounded but he also didn't hate him. Hearing it secondhand had been enough for the time being to ease the ache in Kurt's chest, but he knew that he needed to hear it from Blaine himself to really start healing.
Which is how he found himself wandering around the NYU campus after his last class, searching for Blaine. After about ten minutes of aimless walking, Kurt decided to ask someone. "Anderson?" the person repeated when Kurt gave them Blaine's name. "Yeah, he's right over there." Kurt followed their finger and saw a small group of people gathered around a single individual. The faint hum of a guitar drifted over towards them and Kurt smiled because of course that was Blaine.
Seems like everybody's got a price
I wonder how they sleep at night
Kurt loved Blaine's affinity for taking old pop songs and turning them into beautiful acoustic numbers. He hung back on the fringes of the crowd, just listening, until Blaine hit the chorus and then Kurt did something he'd never be able to explain in a million years – he stepped forward and started to sing alongside Blaine.
It's not about the money, money, money
We don't need your money, money, money
Blaine looked up from his guitar and smiled so widely that his eyes scrunched up in the corners when he saw Kurt. He continued to sing, Kurt accompanying him.
We wanna make the world dance
Forget about the price tag
Ain't about the cha-ching cha-ching
Ain't about the ba-bling ba-ling
Wanna make the world dance
Forget about the price tag
By the time they'd finished the song, the only reminder that they weren't completely alone was the applause from the people around them. "Um…" Kurt mumbled, suddenly embarrassed as he looked down at his feet. He hadn't sung in front of people since high school and it was kind of… well, the only way he could describe it was being on display.
"Come with me," Blaine said, grabbing Kurt's hand and leading him to a bench far removed from everything. "So um… you have a lovely singing voice," Blaine commented, but Kurt knew that (while Blaine was right) he was just trying to stall the conversation they needed to have.
Still, Kurt smiled his gratitude. Then, he said, "We can't avoid this forever, Blaine, so…" he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry." Blaine raised an eyebrow. "For trying to set you up with Kendall. I know about your strange aversion to dating," he threw in a smirk so Blaine knew he was teasing, "and I shouldn't have tried anything without asking you first."
"You're right," Blaine agreed, and Kurt hung his head, feeling appropriately ashamed. "But I'm sorry, too." Kurt looked back up at him, giving him a 'da fuck you talking about?' look. "For saying that you need to have a boyfriend to be happy. I was angry and I didn't mean that."
Kurt barked out a laugh. "But you were right. When I was in Ohio, I was completely miserable. Then I moved here and all of a sudden, there were guys who were interested in me and it felt really fucking good. There was a dark period with one of Rachel's classmates named Adam, but for the first time… I was wanted. And then I met Jordan and… I just wanted you to feel the same way."
Blaine looked like he was going to say something, then shook his head almost imperceptibly. "I understand that and I appreciate how much you care, but I have a lot of personal issues that I'm still trying to work through."
"I get that – trust me, I know what being fucked up feels like. And you have my word that I will never interfere in your life without your permission again."
"Actually," Blaine said hesitantly, suddenly very interested in his hands. "I've been thinking a-and I think the best way for me to get over y – my issues," he said quickly, leaving Kurt to wonder what he had really wanted to say, "is to face them head on. So, you can set up something with… Kendall?" Kurt nodded in confirmation. "If – if you want to," he tacked on.
"It would be my pleasure," Kurt assured him and Blaine visibly relaxed. "Kendall's a great guy – you won't regret this."
"I trust you," Blaine said, his face breaking into the same smile he'd worn when Kurt start singing with him. Kurt smiled back because, honestly how couldn't he, and promised he would be in touch with Kendall later that night. "Thank you," Blaine said earnestly. "And I'm sorry for getting so pissed off. Like I said, I'm a fuck up."
"Well, us fuck ups gotta stick together," Kurt joked, checking his phone. When he saw that it was already after three, he bit back a gasp. "Speaking of being fucked up… I'm gonna be late for an interview." He hugged Blaine quickly and walked away as fast as he could without running. "See ya later, Blaine!" he called over his he walked (trying desperately not to break a sweat) Kurt felt a weight lift off his shoulders. Whether it was because Blaine was happy or because he was simply talking to him again, Kurt didn't know. What he did know, however, was that he and Blaine Anderson were irrevocably tied to one another.
He wasn't sure if that idea thrilled him or scared him.
So that's that. It's kind of short, but like I said, this chapter just did not want to be written *epic sigh*