I'm back, after a long break. I'll try to work on more stories soon. Hoping this doesn't get deleted. Enjoy.
For Comfort and Mistakes
It was a bad idea, a part of him knew. He wasn't thinking clearly. His brother had just died, he had returned home and he was at odds with almost everyone in the village. He didn't really have many people on his side and he should be very careful around those he did have. He shouldn't be taking such a step, changing the very essence of a relationship just because he was sad and lonely and so utterly pained by the mere thought of being him. He shouldn't be even considering this, it was so taboo, but he really needed some comfort. He needed to just forget for a little while. He needed to let loose, lose control for once.
It had started out innocently. Kakashi, his dear old sensei, had escorted him home. It was Sasuke's first night in the village outside of a cell and he would be back in his old family home that was filled with memories. The silver haired man had just wanted to be sure that his (ex) student would be okay all alone in that house. The two hadn't said a word the entire way to the dark house.
The house had been vacant since the incident, boarded up and marked off with crime scene tape Sasuke had never gotten around to taking down. Since the incident he hadn't set a foot near the house and had instead moved into an apartment. Now, however, no landlord would take the Uchiha Traitor into their building so he was left to face his demons if he wanted to have a roof over his head. Kakashi had helped Sasuke pull a board that had been nailed across the front door haphazardly. The teen had pulled open the door with a creaking sound.
It was like stepping back in time but also like walking into an alternative universe at the same time. Everything was the same. Everyday items were laying around, as if the owners had just gone down the hall and would be back in a moment to grab it. Everything is as it was that day, evidence of the normal day his parents had on that fateful day that everything came crashing down. However, when Sasuke stepped through the threshold, almost feeling like he should call out his presence like he did everyday when he returned from school, he didn't smell his mother's cooking like he had so many times before. The musty, stuffy air smelled of dust and neglect. Everything was darker and colder, almost hauntingly so, showing the signs of the dark past. Sasuke could make out the footprints of the ANBU who had traipsed through his house that night without taking off their shoes. He could see old evidence markers laying discarded on the floor. Without a doubt Sasuke knew he would see the bloodstain on the floor when he finally gathered the courage to go into that room.
The seventeen year old felt the analyzing stare of his sensei and swallowed thickly. He removed his shoes at the door, a habit that he had a creeping suspicion will never go away even though his mother wasn't here to remind him anymore. Kakashi eyed him and then did the same before he followed slowly after the teen, who had stepped into the stifling kitchen. Kakashi stood in the doorway while Sasuke stood in the center of the room, looking at the room from his past.
The pain and sadness overwhelmed him. Itachi's death too fresh and clear in his head, his mind swirling with the images of his blood, and his mind reliving every happy and sad moment of his childhood. He felt so alone, so utterly wretched standing in that dust covered kitchen. More than anything he wished to be free of it, to not have to worry about anything for just a few hours. He needed an escape from the pain of being him.
He turned, his body acting on his own while he mind protested. He knew it would be a bad idea but his body moved slowly to his sensei that seemed to know that Sasuke needed some comfort without having to voice anything. The older man stood still as Sasuke stepped up to him and wrapped pale arms around his waist and buried his face in his neck. They stood like this for a long time, Kakashi's hand lightly resting on Sasuke's sleeve.
A pale hand slowly crept to the front of Kakashi's jacket. His hand stilled for a moment before nimble fingers unzipped his Jounin vest. His face remained buried in his neck as both hands moved to gently and tantalizingly remove the vest from the older man's upper body. The sensei had his out now, Sasuke had paused to see how the removal had been taken. Still Kakashi made no move to reject the grieving teen, knowing what the rejection would do to him at such a vulnerable time.
There was no turning back from this moment. As soon as Sasuke had gotten his silent go-ahead a sort of frenzy took over. He reached up and pulled at the mask that blocked his sensei's face and pulled it away. Not even bothering to examine the newly revealed skin that had been hidden from him for years, he latched onto the surprisingly soft lips. Lips meshed as Sasuke's arms moved to wrap around Kakashi's neck while the older man clutched his waist.
Sasuke leaned back slowly, refusing to let go of Kakashi and instead leading him forward. The teen felt a flat surface against his back and he knew it was the refrigerator. He pushed himself flat against the cold surface, feeling Kakashi push closer to him to mold their bodies together. Sasuke dragged his arms down his sensei's sides and gripped the hem of his shirt and pulled upward. Kakashi pulled his arms away, lifting his arms up to allow the raven to remove the shirt more easily. Sasuke dragged his hands over his now bare chest, caressing the muscles.
Sasuke's shirt opened from the front so Kakashi was able to pull it open without having to break the ravenous kiss. Sasuke tugged his arms out of the article with difficulty before his arms went back around Kakashi's neck again. His hands did not linger there for long, instead travelling down to stroke skin lower and lower until he reached the hem of Kakashi's pants. His fingers worked the button and then the zipper. Kakashi planted his hands on the fridge firmly and allowed Sasuke to crouch and pull the article down. He pulled the older man's underwear down too, his face now level with the man's engorged member. Sasuke stuck his tongue out and gave the organ a quick swirl and a single flick before he stood up quickly, where Kakashi was groaning. He locked lips with his sensei again while Kakashi slowly stepped out of the pooled article at his ankles.
Kakashi's hands went to undressing Sasuke now. Sasuke assisted him, pulling down the clothes after it was unbuttoned and stepping out of them harshly and with minor difficulties. Once they were both free from their clothing, they pressed their flushed fresh together, standing as closely as they could. Sasuke was clutching Kakashi's slightly coarse hair, tugging slightly, while their tongues swirled and tangled.
"Do you have anything?" Kakashi asked between meshed lips.
"No," Sasuke panted hotly.
Kakashi nodded and then started kissing his neck, biting and sucking as his hand reached up. His fingers brushed Sasuke's lips, who accepted them into his mouth. His tongue swirled around each digit, coating it with salvia but also showing Kakashi what he was capable of with his tongue. Kakashi moaned and pressed his hot member against his inner thigh while he sucked on Sasuke's collarbone.
Kakashi's mouth walked his way back up to his mouth, where he pulled his fingers out with a pop. Sasuke kissed him deeply once more before he turned and pressed his hands against the fridge. Kakashi pressed up against him, pushing his knee between the teen's legs to be they are spread far enough. His wet fingers then pressed against Sasuke's hole, who gasped and waited for the penetration.
The first finger in was only uncomfortable, his body being relaxed enough to take it. He gasped when a second finger pressed in, a sting accompanying the stretching that needed some time to adjust to. A third finger joined the other two and Sasuke bit his lip to stop the pained groan that threatened to escape. Kakashi kissed the back of his neck comfortingly as he tried to massage the stretched muscles inside of the teen. Sasuke let out a shaky breath and leaned his head back on Kakashi's shoulder.
"Relax," Kakashi whispered hotly in his ear while his hand, clad in fingerless gloves still, moved around the grip Sasuke and caress between his legs. Sasuke let out a groan, turning his head to kiss this sensei's exposed neck. With each stroke and caress the pain began to ebb and was replaced with pleasure until Sasuke felt no more pain. He moaned, his one hand coming up to grab a fistful of Kakashi's hair.
"Please," he groaned while Kakashi gently tried to stretch him farther.
"I should continue or else it will hurt," he muttered his voice thick with lust but calm.
Sasuke pulled harshly on his hair. "Fuck that," and then removed his other hand from the fridge to reach around and forcibly pull fingers out of him. His hands moved back to brace himself against the fridge and he looked over his shoulder with an impatient look. Kakashi shook and head but decided to just go along with the teen's impatience. He positioned himself and then pushed in slowly.
Sasuke gasped, hanging his head down and biting his lip. The pain was almost unbearable. He tasted blood, realizing dimly that he had bit his lip too hard. I need this. I need this. I need this he chanted in his head, almost wanting to stop. But he needed to ride it out. He needed to lose control and feel an embrace. He had lost everything. He needed this in this moment. Stopping wasn't an option, not now.
But Kakashi was kind to him. He went gently, slowly so that he could adjust. With a little bit of searching he brushed against Sasuke's prostate and earned a pleased gasp. A minor adjustment later and he was hitting it dead on. All pain was erased and jolts of pleasure continuously coursed through him. And as he wanted, Sasuke lost all control. He moaned and groaned, his legs turning to jelly making him tremble against the onslaught of emotions and pleasure.
Kakashi pulled him over to the counter, staying connected the entire time. He bent him over the edge of the counter and Sasuke was inwardly thankful so he didn't have to stand any longer. The angle shifted, still hitting his prostate but this time allowing for deeper contact. Sasuke moaned again, making dust fan out in front of his face.
They stayed like this for a long time, the sound of flesh hitting and harsh panting filling the air. With each thrust Kakashi did Sasuke was pushed against the counter, his hip bones scrapping against the harsh edge. He would be sore tomorrow, he thought dimly, but in the moment he didn't care about the pain. This was exactly what he needed, a feeling of closeness with someone to distract him from the pain he felt inside. He didn't want it to end.
Kakashi suddenly pulled out and pulled him off of the counter. He turned him and then picked him up and placed him back on the counter. He moved between his legs and pushed in with a single thrust, hitting Sasuke dead on. The raven cried out weakly, wrapping his legs around his waist and his arms around his neck. His face settled in Kakashi's neck, kissing it between moans and gasps.
A warm coil of pleasure twisted tighter and tighter in his gut. He was nearing his end, he knew. He could almost feel that Kakashi was too. He clenched his legs tighter around his sensei's hips more tightly, returning thrusts weakly. He let out a shuttering breath and then grabbed Kakashi's head between both hands. His pressed his lips to his. It was a simple kiss, no tongue or containing that wild frenzy that their kisses originally contained. It was somehow more powerful, this simple kiss, and touched him more than anything he had ever experienced before. This kiss sent him over the edge.
His muscles clenched and tightened and it suddenly felt like a whirlpool of emotion and pleasure exploded. He cried out into the kiss, his scream coming out muffled inside of Kakashi's mouth. The clenching around Kakashi finally pushed him over, as well as that final kiss, and felt the same release. He let out a moan and held Sasuke tighter as they rode out their orgasms.
They held each other as their bodies returned to normal and their breath evened out. Sasuke still held Kakashi's face between his hands, though neither was looking at one another. Kakashi finally opened his eyes, admiring the beautiful and peaceful expression on Sasuke's face. Sasuke slowly opened his eyes and looked at his sensei. His eyes were sad, the truth of his world sinking in again now that the pleasure was gone.
"Take me up to bed," he whispered and Kakashi complied without a second thought. His lifted him from the counter, legs still wrapped around him and his now flaccid cock still embedded in the younger male, and carried him up the stairs. Sasuke moved his arms to wrap back around his neck, holding him tightly as he tried to fight off the sudden sadness he felt to be back in this house.
Kakashi finally pulled out when he set the smaller raven down in bed, who whimpered slightly at the loss. Sasuke pulled his sensei down onto the bed with him, clutching him tightly. Everything overwhelmed him again, this time resulting in tears he couldn't control. He choked on a sob and was held tightly as he let his sadness go.
Kakashi bore the storm with him until he calmed. He laid there exhausted before twisting in Kakashi's hold and kissed him softly, first on his cheek and then his lips. It was a lazy kiss, but somehow it felt like the last kiss that threw them over the edge. They pulled away and drifted to sleep in each other's arms.
They didn't talk about their night again. The next morning they got dressed as if nothing had happened and together cleaned the house as if it was any other day. Kakashi employed Naruto and Sakura to help and together the four of them got rid of the old furniture and packed away old family items. They repainted and remodeled and bought new furnishings Sasuke could comfortably say that it was no longer his old family home but instead his home.
Team seven went on as normal. They trained and supported one another. They went on missions and watched each other's backs. They got stronger, and grew taller and more mature. The whole team was there when Sakura finally expected Lee's dinner invitation. The whole team was there when Naruto began working under Tsunade, learning the ropes of being Hokage. The team was there when Sasuke was accepted into ANBU.
Through each twist and turn they were there for one another, some more than others. Kakashi never talked about it but he still thought about it from time to time. Sasuke had become his dirty little secret and to Sasuke Kakashi was the one who was always there. The two grew closer that night, whether they were willing to admit it or not.
Sasuke's eyes fluttered open slowly, distressed by the little rays of lights that were peaking through the blinds. He groaned his head pounding and the morning light shining straight in his eyes. He wasn't ready to get out of bed just yet. Attempting to remedy the situation, he rolled over. He halted, however, when he rolled straight onto something warm, firm, and definitely moving.
He opened his eyes slowly, not knowing what to expect but having a feeling it wasn't going to be pleasant. He found that he had unintentionally settled himself directly against warm exposed flesh. The skin was pale and only a few scars marring the smooth surface but chiseled in an almost delicate manner letting the raven know that this was a shinobi in bed with him. Dimly Sasuke was aware that whoever's body this was had a more beautiful body than he did. Sasuke's own flesh was brutally scarred from too many years pushing himself. His time with Orochimaru had left him so scarred that he could barely look at himself in the mirror sometimes. His marred flesh was an insecurity of his. He always wore long sleeves now, pants and gloves if his sleeves weren't long enough to cover most of his hands. The only one he let see his skin was Kakashi, and even that was a rarity.
Sasuke shifted his head from its resting spot on a pale muscled arm and looked up to see the face of his mystery partner. Shock filtered through his system as he took in familiar chestnut colored locks fanned out over the pillow, bindings wrapped around a forehead, fine admittedly handsome features of Neji Hyuga. The very same Neji Hyuga who happened to be his ANBU captain and, more recently, his friend.
He searched his mind in a scrambled and panicked fashion, trying to remember the events that led him here in this compromising position. Slowly it began to filter back. They were on a mission, a particularly hard mission that left everyone on the team spent and needing some sort of release. Instead of camping out for the night they had decided to get out of their uniforms and rented a few rooms at the local inn. It had been Kai, a loud sort of obnoxious but well meaning member of their team, who had suggested they go out to the local bar. It had also been Kai who innocently suggested they have a drinking contest.
Sasuke and Neji both were too stubborn to lose, Sasuke recalled, which resulted in both continuing to down shot after shot even after the others had opted out once they had reached their own limits. He dimly remembered the bartender eventually stopped serving them and they had decided to go back to the inn where there were mini bars in each room so they could determine who was the winner. The others had decided to call it a night and went to go sleep off their own drunkenness while the two geniuses went to Neji's room and raided the mini bar.
Sasuke didn't remember who made the first move but he did remember bit and pieces of the proceeding results of this decision. He remembered strong bruising lips on his own as tongues swirled. There was heated warmth leaving a steamy trail over already overheated flesh. He remembered very dimly Neji had hovered over him and wordlessly spread his legs and positioned himself. He remembered arching off the bed, his legs locked around pale hips and thrusting weakly as he was being rammed. He remembered the pooling heat in his stomach as their grunts and groans filled the air. He remembered that Neji had softly stroked his cheek in an overly affectionate manner as he rammed into him and looked into his eyes deeply. He remembered that it was this strange affectionate display that pushed him over the edge and into the delicious orgasm that shocked him to the core.
Before Sasuke could even think of doing anything, eyes slowly fluttered open to reveal pale lavender eyes. Immediately they locked with his own and Sasuke tensed as he registered the shock and confusion that slowly drifted to understanding as Neji's mind began to fill in the pieces.
"Well," the young captain muttered at last, "this is awkward."
Sasuke nodded. "Yeah," he whispered before he quickly turned to extract himself from the bed. He could feel his captain's eye on him as he sat on the edge of the bed and scanned the room quickly for his clothes. Embarrassingly enough they were thrown everywhere which meant he would have to run around to retrieve his clothes.
Feeling completely ridiculous and more insecure about his tattered flesh than ever before, he stood quickly and scooped his black underwear off the floor to pull them on. He spied his pants a few feet away and he rushed to pull those on as well. His shirt was another matter, for it didn't seem to be anywhere in sight. This posed a problem for the raven for the majority of his ugly scars were scattered around his torso and was currently the only thing he couldn't cover up. A quick glance at his captain and he saw him now sitting on the edge of the bed as well, the sheets pooled around his naked lower half as fished through the sheets for something. A moment later and Neji was throwing his shirt at him.
"Toss me my underwear," he said as the raven's shirt sailed through the air. Sasuke caught it with a single hand while he used his other to scoop a dark article of clothing off the floor and toss it to the other male.
Neji muttered a single appreciative word as he pulled his underwear on. Sasuke wasted no time in covering his tattered flesh, feeling utterly foolish for appearing so vulnerable in front of his captain. Sasuke tugged at the hem, securing it before he dared to look up at his captain. The man was now standing beside the bed, adjusting the waistband. Sasuke looked away quickly, scanning the room for his socks and shoes.
He located them and rushed to pull them on while his captain almost lazily moved around behind him, presumable getting dressed. Sasuke stood and rushed to the door, refusing to look at him.
"Be ready to leave in an hour. I want to be back home by three," Neji said to which Sasuke nodded quickly and then fled.
Sasuke was mortified when the team checked out of the inn and began their trek home. Sasuke was very grateful for his ANBU mask that hid his face as he rushed through the trees, wanting nothing more than escape from his captain. How could be allow himself to do this? What was it about him that made him sleep with his superiors, his male superiors at that?
Sasuke faltered in his step for a moment. To be honest, even after he slept with Kakashi he hadn't thought himself gay or even bisexual. Kakashi had always been special to him. With Kakashi, it had been his moment of comfort and the need to feel complete for at least a moment. He trusted Kakashi in a way he would never be able to trust anyone else so it had been an easy decision for him to make in that moment. And even if he had slept with a man, he hadn't thought that made him a gay or anything.
But with Neji, Sasuke didn't know what to think anymore. He couldn't hide behind the excuse of trusting the man completely that it didn't matter that he was in fact a man. Neji was his captain and barely a friend until recently. They didn't know each other like Kakashi and Sasuke did and this fact alone freaked Sasuke out. He knew he could trust Kakashi to never tell but he couldn't say the same for Neji. He didn't know how Neji would react to this while he knew exactly how Kakashi would handle it.
They reported back to Konoha just before three and debriefed with Tsunade quickly. Sasuke tried to focus on the mission but was finding it difficult to focus when all he wanted to do was run away. Oddly, there was only one place he wanted to go and it wasn't home. The idea of just hanging out on Kakaski's old lumpy couch like he had done many times over the years was oddly comforting to him. Despite the close nature of his relationship with Naruto that he could never seem to figure out how it happened or even really define it, Naruto could never seem to offer him the same comfort that Kakashi did.
"Okay, then," Tsunade said as she raked a hand through her hair, obviously displeased by nature of the mission she had just heard about. "You are dismissed. Rest up, you deserve it," she muttered with a wave of the hand to shoo them away.
Sasuke didn't need to be told twice and fled the room as quickly as possible without drawing attention to himself. He could feel Neji's eyes on him and dimly heard the older man call his name but he ignored it and rushed away. He took a complicated route just in case Neji decided to follow him even though he was sure that the man wasn't. He stopped at Kakashi's favorite restaurant for take-out before he retreated to his sensei's home.
Picking up way too many habits from his sensei, Sasuke soon found himself perched at his teacher's window sill as the man lounged on the couch with his favorite orange book in hand. He was in a pair of sweats and a form fitting tank top that extended up to cover his neck and lower face. No headband covered his scarred eye and his feet were bare, his ankles crossed on the couch.
"Knock, knock," Sasuke muttered as he stepped off his perch and into the room. He went straight to the kitchen where he placed the food filled bag on the table. He heard Kakashi mutter out a greeting from his position on the couch as he pulled out eating utensils and went to the fridge for drinks.
He was very comfortable in the apartment, much more comfortable than his other teammates. Naruto had probably been to the apartment only once but at least he went in unlike Sakura who was forced to stand outside when she stopped by one day. Sasuke spent a lot of time at his sensei's apartment, probably more than at his own place if he thought about it.
Balancing two cups, the utensils and the food in his arms, Sasuke made his way into the living room and deposited the items on the coffee table. He then lifted Kakashi's feet and sat down before placing the feet in his lap. He leaned over and grabbed the food, taking out one box for Kakashi and another for himself. Kakashi gratefully took the offered food, putting down the book after making his page and pulled his mask down. The wise eyes scanned his young student, taking in his appearance.
"You're still in your ANBU uniform," he observed and then took a bite. "What happened?"
Sasuke shrugged wordlessly and focused on his food. "Just a rough mission. You know how it is, you were ANBU once too," he commented as he pushed some food around.
Kakashi stared at him wordlessly. "There's more to it than that, but I have a feeling you aren't gonna tell me," he said and then took another bite.
Sasuke looked up to his sensei, his eyes expressing his guilt for only a moment before he was quickly changing the subject. He placed his food back on the table, suddenly not hungry anymore, and instead reached out to grab Kakashi's favorite book. He opened it, skimming its contents quickly.
"Her loud lusty moans filled the room as large fingers pulled at her hair while the other ones were quickly and roughly inserted into her heavenly wet cavern," he said in a mocking tone. He looked to his sensei incredulously. "Why do you read this shit?"
Kakashi shrugged noncommittally and took a large bite of his food before he too placed the food away. "Don't lose my page," he muttered as he chewed.
Sasuke rolled his eyes at his teacher's comment and continued to skim over the different chapters. "Is there even a plot in this? Each chapter just looks like smut," he commented as Kakashi shifted. The older man removed his feet from the younger male's lap and moved them so that his feet were on either side of Sauske's hips. Sasuke repositioned himself as well, pulling himself closer between Kakashi's parted legs so that he could comfortably lean back.
"Are you going to answer my question?" Kakashi asked, ignoring Sasuke's attempt to change the subject.
Sasuke snorted. "'Vigorously gyrating breast'? Seriously?" Sasuke remarked as he turned the page with a shake of his head.
"Sasuke," Kakashi called gently.
The young adult looked up calmly to look at his serious teacher. Sasuke stared him his sensei wordlessly before he sighed and slumped back for a moment, defeated. He opened his mouth after a moment to confess his indiscretion but then stopped short, suddenly unable to. His guilt overwhelmed him suddenly, and he found himself struggling with the feeling that he betrayed his teacher for some reason.
He and Kakashi had a strange relationship. After they had sex, neither one of them mentioned it except the rare teasing lewd comment from Kakashi when they were alone. They were obviously not a couple, never taking any sort of step afterwards but father took a step back to a comfortable friendship. They were closer than they ever were afterwards, as they both took comfort from the other's presence but it never progressed. They never shared a kiss afterwards but they had no problem with being close to one another. Kakashi was the only person Sasuke was comfortable enough to lounge around unguarded with. Over the years, they have found themselves tangled together in more than one innocent and comforting embrace but never have they took anything past that single night.
Still, Sasuke suddenly felt as if he had been unfaithful to this older man in front of him. A heavy weight settled in his stomach and he felt sick suddenly, as if he was going to throw up. Could this damage their relationship? Had he accidently crossed some sort of line and turned his back on his teacher? Would Kakashi be hurt that he slept with another person? Would he leave him and could he cope if he lost Kakashi?
Sasuke took a strangled breath and suddenly moved, needing the feel of Kakashi's arms around him. He needed to feel the familiar comfort and to know that Kakashi was still there with him. It was suddenly very clear to him just how much the older man meant to him. If Kakashi suddenly turned his back on him, he knew without a doubt that he would lose himself. Somehow Kakashi kept him grounded. He doubted he could live without him in his life.
He stretched himself over Kakashi's strong frame, tucking his head into his neck and clutching his shirt in his hands. "Can you just hold me?" he asked against the fabric over his neck.
Kakashi seemed to tense in surprise for a moment before he instantly relaxed and his arms wrapped around him. One hand settled on his shoulder while the other loosely held his hip, not seeming to be bothered by the fact that Sasuke wasn't answering or was on top of him. He held him close, his chin resting on top of Sasuke's head as they sat in a comfortable silence.
"What are you thinking?" Kakashi finally asked after a long time.
Sasuke turned his head so that it wasn't buried anymore and instead tucked himself in a bit more so that his cheek rested against Kakashi's collarbone. He took in a deep breath, breathing in the familiar scent of Kakashi's scent. "I was thinking that I like this a little too much," he admitted in barely a whisper. Kakashi smirked softly and squeezed Sasuke tighter in his arms.
Sasuke exhaled, thinking over more clouded memories of last night. He remembered the feel of Neji's hands brushing over him affectionately. He remembered closing his eyes and taking in the gesture, surprised that Neji would be so affectionate as if he cared for him deeply. The gesture reminded him of Kakashi and about their time in which Kakashi explored his body. He thought about that kiss, the one that sent him over the edge because it was that powerful. And then he remembered that he had been pushed over the edge after that.
Sasuke took a deep breath. The affectionate gesture Neji did may have led him up to his climax, but now he remembered clearly that it had been the memory of his kiss to finally release him. He clutched Kakashi even tighter to himself, which somehow confused him more.