1. Do you have any nicknames?
Holy cats, where do I start?
Okay, there's Jackson (By Roger,) Darling (By Ralph,) The Bear (Ralph,) Gorgeous (Ralph again,) Papa (Littleuns,) Papa Bear (Mostly Percival,) Daddy (Littleuns,) Love (Ralph,) Thoughtless idiot (Piggy.)
Ignore the last one.
2. Your race?
Occupation? Head of the choir, of course!
4. Shape of face:
5. Distinguishing marks?:
I have dimples.
Despite lack of nutrition, fairly good.
7. Mode of transport around the island?
I myself am a very handy mode of transport – when Ralph needs a piggy-back to the beach, I'm his man!
8. Do you have any words of advice for the younger members of the island?
If there's danger out there, you need to go out and face it. There's no time to sit around and think it through (like Ralph does.)
9. Are you really the fiery character everyone makes out you are?
When with the entire tribe, I have to be dominant – being the chief and all – but according to Ralph, when I'm alone with the kids, I'm a 'Cuddly Bear.' Hmm.
10. Favourite food?
Sherberts. I would KILL for some.
11. Greatest Strength?
Being able to hunt and provide for the tribe.
12. Greatest Weakness?
Not being able to cook or build shelters (don't laugh.)
13. Soft spot?
Believe it or not, I love animals. I even let the littleun's adopt a piglet at one point. I also like little kids, which is why I agreed to adopt all the little buggers who crashed on the island with us.
14. Biggest Vulnerability?
Probably the fact I find it hard when I'm not in control. I know I should listen to Ralph more but…I don't know, I just hate competition.
16. Type of childhood?
My childhood wasn't pleasant. My mother died when I was five and after that my father got depressed. We became very distant after that,
17. Most important child hood event that still affects you?
The first time my father ever hit me. I completely lost trust in people after that; until I met Ralph. I suppose Ralph saved me in a way.
18. Are you religious?
I was born Catholic, but I don't believe I deserve God's love after all the damage I have done. Ralph disagrees; he says God forgives all and tells me I should forgive myself too.
19. Parent's names?
James and Sigrid Merridew.
20. Any siblings?
I have a little sister, Molly.
21. When are you most at ease?
Probably when I'm with Ralph *smiles* and when I'm with my babies – I mean the littleun's…ahem.
22. When are you ill at ease?
When we're attempting to corner a particularly massive pig that I know we have no hope in killing.
23. How do you feel about yourself?
I used to hate everything about myself. But according to Ralph and several members of my fandom, I'm quite attractive so…yeah, I'd say I'm adequate.
24. Optimist or pessimist?
A bit of both.
25. How do you handle problems?
I allow everyone else to panic around me whilst I sit down and ponder over a solution.
26. Favourite animal.
Impossible to choose.
I love puppies; I used to have a puppy called Frisky. I love kittens too.
27. Most prized possession?
My father gave it to me back when he still loved me…
28. Favourite part of Ralph's body?
His eyes are what drew me in first. But a close second would definitely be his arse. Bloody hell, he's got a nice arse.
29. Do you like touching this part of his/her body?
I like giving it a spank every now and then…
Jack! You promised you wouldn't tell anyone that!
Ralph? What are you doing here? Go away, this is my interview.
Not anymore it isn't. I'm sticking around to make sure you don't spill the beans on what we get up to after dark.
But you do like it when I slap your arse-
30. Well, now there's two of you, anything you don't like about each other?
Jack can get very out of hand when it comes to getting his own way. He can get really moody if everything isn't plain sailing.
Oi, at least I don't suspect you of cheating every five minutes!
You should have thought about that before you went behind my back with your best friend's partner.
I didn't! I keep telling you! Simon had a bath and forgot his trousers so he had to borrow mine!
A likely story! I found his pants on your side of the cave Jack!
That's because he changed on my side of the cave! I refuse to discuss this any further! Next question!
31. Jack, do you have any faults?
Several. One of which is that I'm not the best at satisfying people's needs.
That's a fact.
32. Ralph, do you have any hidden talents?
I play the flute, I can do handstands and I'm actually quite a good tennis player.
Hmm, yes, very impressive. All kid's stuff though.
33. Which one of you cries the most?
Most definately Ralph.
I'll have to agree on that one. But Jack does cry too. He just prefers to do it in private.
Ralph! Don't tell them!
It's quite sweet actually. Before we got together, he'd bury his face into his arm to cry but now he has the security of burying his face into my neck instead.
The last time he cried was when the youngest of our littleuns got sick. He thought he was going to die, bless. Isn't that right Jack?
34. What is your opinion on thunderstorms?
I find them quite entertaining. What about you, honey?
To be honest, I don't think Jack likes them at all. Last time there was one on the island, he kept screaming.
Ralph? Why are you whispering? What are you telling them?
35. Do you have a favourite person on the island?
Each other of course.
Wait Ralph, come back here! I was only joking! Ralph, baby! I didn't mean it! You're my favourite person, you know that! Ralph? Raaalph...
36. Having reclaimed Ralph, how do you two feel about your experience on the island?
It's taught us a lot of things. Leadership, co-operation, survival, forgiveness, the adult world. But most of all, it's taught us that loving and accepting one another is the most important thing of all. Isn't that right Ralph.
I'm still not speaking to you.
Come on, I said I was sorry!
Not listening, Jack.
Excuse me a second...
*A few seconds later*
So, do you forgive me now?
I suppose. Though I'd appreciate it if you didn't bite down on my lip next time.
It's meant to create pleasure!
37. Thanks for that, um, interesting show boys. So, have you ever considered taking your relationship to the next level?
If you mean sex then yes, we will get there eventually. But not until we're at least sixteen, due to Jack's religious views.
We know when we'll be ready. For now, Ralph will just have to put up with kisses and cuddles.
Jack ss-top! That tickles, get off!
38. So adorable. Do you miss your parents?
I miss my mum and dad terribly. But it's been so long, I've learnt to cope without them. I suppose that's what growing up and having to leave home is like. But it hurts because I know I'm still young and I'm not ready to survive without my parents. I miss my dad's humour and my mum's loving touch...I wish I could see them again, just let them know I'm alright.
I partly miss my dad, but not so much that I'm dying to see him. I don't know, perhaps his opinion of me has changed since I left home. Hopefully, he doesn't hate me anymore.
Jack, darling, he doesn't hate you.
He does Ralph, I know he does. But it's alright, because I know I'll probably never see him again. I won't need to see the disappointment in his eyes whenever I'm near him. And best of all, I won't get hit if I do something wrong. At least here on the island I'm the one in charge. Being back at home, under his iron fist, would only shatter my self esteem.
39. *Wipes eyes* Do you regret landing on the island?
I'm going to sound mad for saying this, but no. First of all, I met Ralph on the island and he's the best thing that's ever happened to me.
Aww, Jack. Come here.
Thanks for that. And also I don't regret landing on the island because it's taught me how to be a man and make my own decisions.
My only regret is that I never got to say a proper goodbye to my family. But I'm partly glad that our plane crashed. I met Jack, got myself a new family, and now all of a sudden I've got about twenty brothers which is hard work, but at the same time precious. I also learnt what it takes to lead a tribe and believe me, it sucks sometimes. If a plane came tomorrow, I'd be happy. But for now I'm content staying put.
40. Finally, anything you'd like to say to each other?
Ralph, you're probably the most inspirational person I've ever met in my life and well...I know I probably wouldn't be as open-minded as I am now if it wasn't for you.
You've taught me that even the most stubborn clott-heads deserve a second chance. And you've also taught me that slapping someone's arse can be seen as a form of pleasure. Ow! Jack, not now! The cameras are still on!