For Sylvia, to mend the Wolfstar shipping heart I broke with Writing an Epitaph. Happy Christmas, love.

For Gamma's OTP bootcamp prompt 43 — yelling.

Also for the 2012 Hogwarts Games — Medley. Slash/Femslash piece.


Remus is thirteen years old when he first realises that his feelings toward Sirius Black are a little bit more than friendly.

The epiphany is slightly anticlimactic. Sirius is building a house of Exploding Snap cards in the common room. Remus is peeking at him over his book, waiting for the moment for it to explode. The thought just pops into Remus' head that he'd really like to kiss him.

It doesn't shock him as much as he thinks perhaps it should.

He shrugs it off as a childish crush and stuffs it in the back of his mind.


Remus is fifteen years old when he first realises that he's head over heels for Sirius Black, and that his feelings are not going to go away.

This one is a bit more of a revelation, with a more dramatic context to suit it.

The epiphany occurs mid-scream. He's yelling at the top of his lungs. It's the first time he's spoken to Sirius in sixth months. Ever since the Prank.

"—just don't understand how you can be so thick! You just don't—" and in the middle of the world think, it hits him. Sirius is staring at the floor, his posture curled in on himself, and he looks utterly miserable. Broken. But Remus doesn't let himself react. "—think, Sirius! You never think!"

And Sirius whispers, "I'm sorry."

And Remus forgives him. Because it's true, because he is sorry, and Remus knows that. He knows that Sirius has suffered for his moment of idiocy. Maybe not suffered enough, but what is enough to make up for that? And could Remus even will that on anyone, not to mention the one he loves most?

No. He can't.

He deflates.

"I know you are," he whispers. "I just wish you would think."

"I'm sorry." Sirius's voice is just a thread.

And Remus murmurs, "It's okay."

Sirius lights up like the sun, and Remus desperately wants to kiss him.

But Sirius is two weeks off his last girlfriend (whose name Remus has already forgotten) and only six weeks off the one before that and Remus knows that there's just no chance of his feelings being returned. He resigns himself to being the stereotype of unrequited love and pushes it back into the back of his mind.


Sirius is seventeen years old when he realises that he's head over heels in love with Remus Lupin.

Remus is just sitting there, back against what they all consider "their" tree, book propped up on his knees. It's not an uncommon sight in the summery weeks. There's a lock of his hair dangling in front of his eyes, and Sirius has a desperate urge to tuck it behind Remus's ear, trail his fingers along Remus's cheek, tip his chin up, capture his lips.

He thinks for a moment. He's never seen Remus with a girl — except Lily, and Remus isn't cruel enough to chase the one girl James loves. But, that established, he's never really seen Remus with a boy, either. Sure, Remus is friendly enough with people, and he's tutored more students than Sirius has dated — and that's saying something — but he's not really close to anyone except the Marauders.

But is that because he doesn't care about anyone that way? Or has he merely not expressed it?

And then Sirius does what Sirius does best.

He stops thinking. (Remus would be angry. Except he isn't.)

Sirius gives into the urge. He hooks his finger around the rebellious lock of hair and tucks it behind Remus's ear. He lets his fingertips trail along Remus's cheek as the travel toward his chin. His left hand plucks the book out of Remus's grasp and lays it gently aside.

Remus looks up at him, about to protest, but Sirius stops him with a kiss.

Remus freezes, stunned.

Sirius panics briefly, wondering if he's ruined everything in a single instant.

But then Remus kisses him back.

Sirius stops panicking and decides that maybe he should quit thinking more often. (Or maybe not.)

Remus pulls away first, resting his forehead against Sirius's. "You're an idiot," he murmurs breathlessly.

Sirius opens his mouth to protest, but Remus continues. "I love you, you idiot."

And Sirius grins like — well, like the idiot he is. "I love you, too, Remus."

He kisses him again.