AUTHOR: darket15



PAIRING: Kanda/Allen

WARNING: Not Canon; Boy/Boy; Kanda's POV; Lemon; ER

GENRE: Romance

BETA READER: Savstrelley

SUMMARY: YULLEN WEEK 2012 - 'I almost lost him' Kanda thought, swallowing hard, '… dear God what would I do without him in my life? Kanda and Allen are together, but it took Kanda some time to realize Allen was the one for him.

DISCLAIMER: D. Gray-man and characters belong to Katsura Hoshino's: Kanda Yu and Allen Walker (Bean Sprout); Setting from Vol. 2: Chapters 8-16

A/N: Yullen Week 2012 – Day 4 ~ Theme: BREATHLESS ~ Happy Birthday Kanda and Allen.


"Bean Sprout!" Kanda yells. Allen twirls, his once white-hair now soaked with dark-red blood oozing out, flowing down obstructing his vision.

A sharp piercing pain in Allen's left eye did not deter him from extending his huge claw arm raking blindly at the Akuma attacking him, as it picks him up throwing him against the rock wall.

"Get away from him!" a shout comes from Kanda, "Ahh…" Swoosh … swoosh … swoosh … comes the sound of Kanda's sword to Allen's ears before he is engulfed into darkness. Kanda stands panting, dripping with a combination of blood and sweat, leaning on his sword as his heart beats wildly, his eyes wide as he stares at Allen's tattered body that lay beaten not far from him.

For hours, they had fought the Akuma amongst the mounds of rock and tall slabs of rock walls surrounding them. Kanda's thigh muscles burn, his calf muscles' ache but sets aside his pain. With what strength he has left he drags himself to reach Allen's side.

Dropping to his knees Kanda laid an ear to Allen's heart — he hears a faint beating inside. Tears threaten his eyes as he moves his head over Allen's face and leans in placing a kiss upon his lips.

"Damn it Bean Sprout, don't you die on me!" Kanda moans, before he passes out on top of Allen.

Blurred white walls swirl around him, a voice carries to his ears — "… the kid took a hard beating … yes the surgery went well … he has an amazing eye … Yes, Komui … we almost lost him … he has come though the worse … no he won't die, though I don't know what is keeping him alive, maybe shear will power … yes, he'll stay with us … the other teen is doing well … no … he's still unconscious," the doctor reports to Komui over the phone.

"The hell I am," Kanda growls.

"If that is Komui I want to speak to him," Kanda grumbles, trying to pull himself up to a sitting position, to no avail, falling back onto his pillow.

"Well now, it seems the older teen is awake and wants to talk to you … okay just a minute."

The doctor hands the phone over to Kanda.

"Is he going to be okay Komui?" Kanda asks, anxiously.

"I'm fine. Tell me the truth … how bad is he? No! I cannot rest not knowing," there is a pause … then a sigh from Kanda. "Okay." He hands the phone over to the doctor.

Kanda relaxes and closes his eyes tears threatening under his lids. The swirling pit in his stomach lurches at him. Visions of Bean Sprout being attacked by the Akuma, his limp beaten body lain before him. 'I almost lost him' Kanda is thinking, swallowing hard, '… dear God what would I do without him in my life?

I want to hear his voice …I want to feel his touch on my skin as I lay next to him. Damn, my heart is racing again with the … with what? Damn it, admit it … with the possibility I could have lost the person I have grown to love! There I said it. When you realize the possibility … well … your perspective on life can change.'

Kanda looks over at his lover lying across from him. His eye with a large bandage over it, his head partial wrapped. His Innocence arm is bulky with bandages covering it after the surgery. Bruises show on his face, neck and parts of his body that's exposed and he looks depleted as if he is nested with the bed.

His once energetic partner now lies perfectly still, only hours before fighting for his life. It hurts seeing his beloved in this condition and there is nothing he can do but wait.

'Bean Sprout … he crept into my heart, took hold of it and has loved me over the past year. Oh, what a journey it has been for me, having the kid win me over. Hmm, to think I had hated the little brat in the beginning. He was an annoyance I did not want to deal with.

To think it started with a spark. A spark that had ignited inside both of us, something we had tried denying and ignoring. But the spark eventually lead to flames and the flames lead to a fiery explosion sending a blaze through the both of us. Who would have guessed it would have welded us together – not to be separated.'

Lying in bed, Kanda looks up at the ceiling as he remembers back to the beginning with their first confrontation, and a smirk forms on his face. His white-hair brat has always been a feisty one since they met. But the spark that had first ignited between them was at Mater, Southern Italy.

'We were on our first mission together and Bean Sprout had been a newbie. We had been there to take the Innocence, a heart, from a singing doll named Lala. Anything the kid had done during the mission was annoying as hell.

Toma, Bean Sprout and I had raced to the edge of the cliff looking down at the City of Mater. It had looked like all the Finders were already dead when suddenly there had been a big explosion in one section of the city. It had been an Akuma attacking the Finders trying to get the Innocence from the doll.

The baka Bean Sprout had rushed down into the city to attack the Akuma not thinking what the ramifications of his actions could cause. It turned out to be a Level 1 Akuma who had evolved into a Level 2 with a unique skill. This large, ugly looking jester could copy the Sprout's weapon. Once he had copied it, the fiend turned around and had used it on him.

Hideous laugher had bellowed from the jester looking freak as Bean Sprout took hit after hit. The last hard hit from the ugly freak had sent Allen through numerous walls where I lost track of him. I had to forget about him for the moment, my focus needed to be on locating the singing doll.

At last, I located the Finder who had the code to unlocking the Talismans protecting the doll and her Campion. He whispered the code to me before he had died – a death not in vain.

"I have unlocked the Talismans. We need a place to hide," I said, to the doll and her Campion, leading them to a nearby building to take refuge.

"Which one of you is the Ghost of Mater?" I asked, scowling at the two of them in front of me.

"I'm the Ghost of Mater, and this girl I took in when she lost her parents," the sickly man said, who was covered with dark fabric and a hat on top of his head.

"Well, you know why I am here … to collect the Innocence, your heart Ghost. It would save me a lot of trouble if I just take it now," I said, flatly.

The girl started to explain their situation which I was not listening to. Some nonsense about letting him die on his own terms … then I could take the heart. I did not have time to sit around to discuss a stupid matter like that. I just wanted to take the damn heart so my team and I could get out of there. But with all the action happening around us I realized I had to protect them.

Protecting them had proved to be a difficult task. I looked outside the building to see if it was safe – the large Level 2 was nowhere to be seen. When I turned back around they had disappeared. Come to find out there had been several passageways underground.

After trying to find the doll myself, I finally ran into Bean Sprout, who had survived his battle with the jester creature. When we met, Toma had returned about the same time and we all began searching for the doll. Bean Sprout was the one who had discovered a way to get beneath the city to the underground passageways.

During our search, a duplicate of Bean Sprout had shown up which to my surprise was not the Akuma. The cunning aberration had changed itself into our Finder, Toma and revealed itself to the both of us. It struck me hard with one punch that had slammed me through a wall into another wall beyond.

Having replicated Bean Sprout's anti-Akuma weapon, it attacked me with its huge claw bringing it down, raking it across my chest. The cold metal had ripped my flesh sending red blood spurting in all directions. I fell limp where I stood and had felt the cold creeping into my veins as life started to drain out of me, and everything fell into darkness.

I awoke later to throbbing pain. Bean Sprout had patched me up the best he could, and I lay upon his coat when I overheard Bean Sprout as he talked to the doll about … what is this? Waiting to take her heart? Not until after the old man dies?! I could not believe what I had just heard!

Abruptly I had sat up, my left shoulder and arm wrapped with a large cloth to hold it close to my body. "Bean Sprout, you take that damn heart now!" I had demanded.

We argued with heated venomous words we had thrown at each other. The damn foolish white-hair moron stood before me telling me he doesn't wantto take her heart. Not until they had died on their own terms. Idiot!

There is no room for feelings or emotions in this line of work. I was nauseated with disgust towards him. I threw his coat at him and he turned his head, white-hair wisped across his eyes as the coat struck him below the chin. The guy had really pissed me off big time.

Drawing my sword with my one good hand I got up to take the damn heart myself. I walked past the white-hair newbie and grumbled, "It takes a sacrifice to save others."

What the hell does the stupid kid say to me? He would be the sacrifice in their place! Like we are suppose to negotiate with whoever carries Innocence. Damn him! This shit head had really annoyed the hell out of me. In fact, he had annoyed and frustrated me so much I ended up hitting him with my fist, knocking both of us on our asses.

Damnit! While we had another one of our little heated disagreements, the devious Level 2 showed up stealing the Innocence from the doll right from under our noses. This had really made the Sprout mad — in fact his anger exploded! Damn his emotions. His emotions had emanated so much rage his parasite-type accommodator started to change shape to his emotions.

It astounded me what incredible powerful emotions the Sprout had that he kept changing his weapon — I had actually been quite impressed. Problem being a stupid newbie, he had not realized he is supposed to wait for the weapon to finish developing before he fired it — damn idiot!

It is strange though, I remember feeling relief when I knew he was all right after he had fired his new weapon. Then I saw him dripping blood, a side effect which meant his body was not able to keep up once his weapon had developed.

The guileful Level 2 had taken advantage of him being down and hit him hard. He sat on the floor as if he had given up. When I confronted him about it, what does he tell me? He is just taking a break … right! The shit head … damn he had ticked me off!

I don't know why, but I had to save him, maybe to bring him back to his senses but I had to step in to help him. It was a tremendous fight but Bean Sprout had killed the despicable Level 2, and the Innocence ended up falling between us. Again, I do not know why, but I had allowed the brat to put the Innocence back into the doll so the old man and doll could die on their terms. Except it was not the same doll anymore.

I left to have my wounds treated at the local hospital. My unique blood had allowed me to heal quickly. Bean Sprout would not go to the hospital. Even with his injuries he had stayed in Mater waiting for that damn doll to stop singing.

I left the hospital and I went back to Mater to report what he had to do after the doll stopped singing. He was sitting there, his head lowered onto his arms, never looking up. I had sat with him even though I needed to go straight to my next assignment. I told him again he was too damn soft to be an Exorcist.

Then the singing had stopped. I walked into the room where he was cradling the doll — crying. I will never forget him telling me he wanted to be a destroyer who can save others. And that is exactly what the white-haired Sprout has kept on doing ever since. Always, trying to do what is right and just. It is then I had felt a strong tugging on my heart … what the hell?

On our missions after Mater, the spark had started to turn into flames we both kept denying was there. I felt it every time we were in close quarters together or his silvery eyes would stare at me longer than normal and started a flicker of flames that would shoot through me. But of course, I had kept my cold obstinate irritating exterior towards him hoping to keep him away.

Bean Sprout had been the first who accepted there was an emotional connection happening between us. He would follow me around constantly being in my space. He irritated the hell out of me, more so than before — though he certainly was persistent.

Fuck, I could not even go take a soak in the hot bath without him showing up and asking permission to join me. Of course, it did not matter I told him no, he was going to get in anyway. Damn he could be annoying as hell.

The bath had been the hardest for me — when I would see him naked. Without him knowing, I had gazed at his small physique, his thigh muscles tight and strong leading down to well sculptured calf muscles. As he stepped into the bath, he had walked towards me baring strong chest muscles, tight abs and a slim waist.

Damn … his body … well let's just say I found him exciting. No one ever had excited me sexual until I met Bean Sprout. I made sure when I was getting up out of the water I had turned my back to him. I had needed to wrap my towel around my waist before I could turn to face him. I'm sure he had been pretty aroused too.

Even when I went to the library to read – he would end up there also. I would be sitting on the sofa reading, and he would just sit down beside me, as if it had been a normal part of our relationship. His closeness bugged the hell out of me and I couldn't concentrate after he had shown up.

His vivid sweet smell had been in the air around me and his body would make contact with mine, once again sending flickers of flames throughout my body arousing me. Sometimes, it had gotten to the point where I could have kissed him vehemently. Instead, I said how damn annoying he was, and left not trusting myself in his presences.

These emotions! I tried to find ways to stay away and had kept my cold arrogant attitude towards him but it had never deterred him. Then one rainy day I went far into the woods to be alone. I felt as if I was on the edge of an emotional breakdown of some sort. Of course, who had to show up - the Bean Sprout.

"Get the hell out of here, Bean Sprout," a low, cracked voice had said, that did not sound like my own. Though my back had been turned away from him to hide my tears — my voice betrayed me.

Instead of going away, he had walked up to me, turned me around, and put his hands on my hips saying, "It's okay Kanda."

His hands then had moved to my back drawing me to his body and hugged me. It was winter and I remember warmth radiated from his body as he embraced me, his body felt good against mine. But once again, I had pushed him away telling him to get the hell out of there.

Ever since letting him into my heart at Mater my emotions for him had grown deeper and deeper — I wanted him. As much as I had kept pushing him away from me, I ended up wanting him more and more.

Standing there looking at each other, he had leaned into me, pressing his soft lips on mine — our first kiss. While I am dazed, he said, "I love you Kanda. It's okay … you will let me in … it's just a matter of when."

So, a few months later we were heading to another assignment together. It was a couple days travel. We had walked in silence for most of the time. First time I can remember the Sprout hadn't been chattering away annoying the hell out of me nor were the two of us bickering and fighting with each other.

I'm not really sure what was going through his mind at the time. He just seemed … off, not at all himself. The day we arrived at our destination, the snow was coming down hard, but we had decided to set out to the mountains anyway to where the Innocence was last reported. Of course, where there is Innocence there will always be Akuma. As we neared, there had been an abundance of them.

Bean Sprout, who always seemed to charge in when I least expect it — did just that. Damn moron, he can be such a fool! We fought, side-by-side, back-to-back and then later we lost track of each other in the process of killing so many of the heinous creations. The battle had continued until the sun started setting.

With the battle over, I had picked up the Innocence and turned to see where the Sprout was. After searching for awhile, I found him faced down in the snow, blood soaked the snow beneath and around him ... damnit he had been hurt.

Going over to where he was I knelt down and turned him over. Blood had soaked his clothing. He had a wound to his left shoulder where one of the bestial beasts had speared him — close to his heart. It looked bad.

"Damn it Bean Sprout, are you alright?" I yelled at him, shaking his good shoulder.

My heart was slamming against my chest, he had not answered me. It had been late and there was no way we would make it back to the Inn for medical attention with his condition. Luckily, on our way up here I had noticed a cave. I needed to find that cave.

It took a while, but there it was. Once we were inside, I had started a hot fire. Carefully I had taken off his coat and opened his once white shirt now soaked with blood. Where the spear had entered, now had blood caked around the wound but at least it had stopped bleeding – for now.

Bean Sprout had still been unconscious as I cleaned the wounded area and bandaged him. Then I heated what food we had for dinner. As I was heating the food he had woken up.

"About time you came to," I said, harshly.

"It was the smell of food that woke me," the idiot said.

"Naturally food would do that to you," I retorted, sarcastically.

I had helped him sit up against the wall of the cave. "I guess I will have to help you eat," I said, annoyed.

"No… I can do it myself," he had sounded incredulous.


"Anyway, your wound looks bad. We will see how you are doing in the morning. If you are able, we should head back to the Inn for further medical attention to that shoulder," I told him, angrily. I am still so damn irritated with him, and I had struggled to keep my composure but ended up snapping at the brat anyway.

"Bean Sprout, you are such a damn idiot, you could have been killed today, when are you ever going to learn to be more careful, you moron!" Bean Sprout had the spoon half-way up to his mouth before dropping it out of his hand, clattering to the ground. He had started to stand.

"What the hell are you doing?" I yelled at him from across the fire. "Damn it, you'll start bleeding again!"

"I am not staying here with you calling me an idiot — when I am not!" he fired back at me angrily. He attempted to leave.

"Damn you Bean Sprout! You are in no condition to even be standing up!" I was furious with him. I had wanted to shake some sense into him. Quickly, I got to him and held him against the wall. It had been then — I could not keep the fiery explosion from happening.

I kissed him. Not a gentle kiss but a crushing fierce kiss, long overdue for the both of us. Aggressively, lips moved against lips, opening his mouth I thrust my tongue inside brushing the walls of his mouth. Tongues were slipping and clashing together seeking, sliding and probing deeper as if both of us had been unable to be satisfied.

Desperately, the Sprout's body had moved against me, creating friction between us which made us harder. He arched, moaned, and begged while clinging to me with his good arm around my neck. He had fumbled with my belt buckle, I moaned as the heat between us grew hotter. My body aching for him, down low the hot throbbing had been a reminder of my desire for him.

I carried him over to the blankets and had laid him down the fire illuminated his white hair. I gazed into his soft, silvery, lustful eyes my chest ached and felt as full inside — as I did below. Sighing with pleasure, I had returned to our kisses, long and aggressively hot, my teeth nibbling down his neck easily persuading low, soft moans as his tantalizing sweet scent wafted up sending my heart ablaze — for only him.

His hand had frantically unbuttoned my shirt, and he tugged down my pants — completely oblivious to his wounded shoulder. His hand found what it had been searching for — he caressed and enticed me to what had seemed beyond full arousal, insanely lost in the bliss of pleasure our bodies found together.

The long denied need for him raged inside of me. Quickly, unbuckling his belt, I tugged off his pants and mine. He quivered beneath me, now hip to hip we rubbed our skin against each other and sparked the flames higher.

My fingers had found his entrance. I pushed deep inside readying him to take me, all of me and he had arched backwards in pleasure. I spread his legs and lifted them as I pushed inside of him. As I broke through, entering him, he had clasped onto me as he cried out.

Our bodies had fit perfectly together, our rhythm unerring and unified. Furiously, I plunged deeper and deeper into him. The sound of our panting progressively intensified until we both had cried out at our peak moment. Flashes of pleasure had rushed through our bodies as fire engulfed the both of us. We shuttered in our tight embrace as both of us relished the moment.

We lay in each other's arms and soaked in the afterglow. I would never tell this to Bean Sprout but it had been all over for me that night. He had claimed me, bored through what shield I had to protect me emotional and we became one — forever.'

As I lay here, reminiscing about our past and how our love came to be, I hear his weak voice, "Kanda?"

"Bean Sprout," I whisper to him, my heart skipping a beat at the sound of his voice.

"How are your wounds Kanda?"

"They are healing faster than yours, idiot."

"I feel sore all over. They had to fix my arm again didn't they?"

"Yeah, a couple hours ago, the doctor's say it will heal well, just like your eye. You'll be alright moron."

"You sound relieved Kanda." He smiles at me — I love his smile but I would never tell him that either.

"Shut up idiot … I'm coming over there," I try to sound like my old nasty self, but as I said before, when you realize the possibility of losing the one person you love, well … your perspective on life can change.

Kanda limps over to the Sprout's bed climbing in with him. Bean Sprout welcomes him moving over to give more space for him to fit in.

Despite their injuries, Kanda gathers the Sprout into his arms. Looking down into those soft, silvery eyes, a warm flame flickers in his belly. Sharing a long, deep sultry kiss — the flame set them both ablaze and their hearts on fire.