Author's Note: This is the best parody ever. Nothing can beat it. This is the most epic thing to ever be spouted from a fanfiction writer ever.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravity Falls.

Grunkle Stan lifted his blood covered super-knife up. He grinned at the sight of the bear's ruined stoumach. He turned to Dipper Pines, who was crouching over a certain white-haired midget's body, slowly finishing up his prey.

"How does Giddy Gideon taste, master?"

Dipper spat out a shoe. "Like some midget with shoes."

Grunkle Stan took out some cookie cutters. He placed them on the bear's chest, and then pulled them out. Cookie-shaped shapes were placed in the bears body. Stan then took a saw and sawed out the cookies. He then painted the cookies and added taste to them. He ran up to Dipper, "Your lunch, sir." He bowed to the boy.

Dipper slapped Stan, who giggled.

Dipper reminded himself to kill himself later.

"Master, look out!"

Three chainsaws were hurled at Dipper, who used super powers to propel them over him. They instead struck a meteor flying towards earth. It exploded as firey rock rained down on Gravity Falls. All of the bears died except one, who flew into space.