A/n: (Freakishly long AN ahead, feel free to skip) Okay, so normally I don't feel the need to explain myself to anyone around these sites simply because I do what I do for my enjoyment, not for anyone else. But after being gone for so long, I think it would be a pretty dick move for me not to, so here goes.
My mother and step father, who has been the only real dad I ever had, announced in March that they were getting a divorce. I didn't take the news well, and turned on my step father because I assumed he was going to leave like every other male figure in my life. Last Mother's Day, Sunday May 12th, I called the police on my step father. He was harassing me (at least that was my perception at the time, I am prone to anxiety and wasn't in the best state of mind), and I didn't feel safe. I was removed to my grandmother's care, and the next day, found out I would be going in to foster care. My mother had signed a voluntary care agreement, giving away most of her custody of me over to the state. She simply couldn't handle me on her own, and I refused to live with my step dad. I was fine at first, because I thought I was going to be away from what I considered an awful home.
After a while, we started to talk again, and things were getting better. Having some distance from my parents made it easier to enjoy the time we did have. Then on September 24th, my grandma called to tell me that my mother planned to move to the island. I was devastated, and things fell down from there. My mother, as it turns out, wasn't moving as soon as I was told, wasn't just abandoning my brother (he actually quite wanted to go) and was ready to pay the constant fees for me to come visit them. My grandmother (who I should clarify is actually my BROTHER'S grandma, on his father's side, but has been around since I was born) had only called to illicit a reaction and make things more difficult for my mother, who had served them with court papers to try to get full custody of my brother instead of the 60/40 split they have now.
Things have gotten tough. My family is constantly being harassed by this woman as she tries to manipulate her way in to stealing my brother. School had started and it looks like I won't graduate this year, which is devastating, and overall, my depression had simply gotten the best of me.
I'm back with my counselors and therapists now though, and I'm working to get better. I can't promise my work will be any good while I'm recovering, and I can't promise that I will have a steady stream of updates, but I promise to try, because I know you guys have waited far longer than needed for this.
Sorry for the rant. Please enjoy the chapter.
Kurt's eyes flew open to see an unfamiliar room, someone's arms tight around his waist. He let out a terrified shriek and shoved the hands away, rolling out of the bed and onto the floor. He grunted in pain as he landed, shaking in terror as he tried to scramble to his feet. He felt a hand lock around his wrist as he attempted to run, and he spun around, clawing at the fingers desperately, before he finally looked up.
Blaine was staring back at him sadly as his thumb stroked the inside of his wrist. He let out a strangled whimper and sat on the edge of the bed. Blaine's hand moved to intertwine their fingers, his other hand rubbing Kurt's arm comfortingly.
"I'm sorry." Kurt whispered weakly. "That- that happened a few times at Jace's house too, I- I just think that I'm back- back there." he managed to stutter out.
"it's okay." Blaine said, sitting up slowly, as if he was trying not to startle him again. He kept Kurt's hand in his own as he wrapped his arms around him. Kurt shook his head in denial, like he didn't believe Blaine. "No, really. Kurt, you went through a traumatic experience, it's more than natural to be scared. I'm not going to push you away or anything for it. I'll do anything, anything to make sure you can feel safe again." Blaine said softly. "Hey, cmon, don't cry."
"I'm not upset Blaine." Kurt assured. "I just... I don't know what I'd do without you." he stared down at their joined hands, smiling faintly and pressing a quick kiss to Blaine's knuckles. Blaine grinned and kissed his temple.
"Come on, I'll make you some breakfast." they didn't let go of each others hands as they left the bedroom, Kurt leaning into Blaine a little.
"Blaine?" Kurt said softly. Blaine hummed to show he was listening. "Can we go out for breakfast? I saw this really cute little diner just down the street." Blaine grinned and laughed.
"Sure. Get dressed, unless you'd like to go in your pyjamas?"
"In New York? Are you insane?" Kurt screeched, horrified. He made a show of running as fast as he could to the other room with his suitcase.
"so i think I've made a decision." Kurt said as they dug into their food.
"my mom's ashes."
"oh." Blaine cleared his throat a little nervously. "OK. What did you decide?"
"I want to do it. And I want you to be with me when i do." Kurt looked up shyly as he spoke, as if he was afraid of being rejected.
"I'd be honoured." Blaine said with a soft smile, squeezing his hand again spearing some eggs on his fork.
"shit, that's him isn't it? The one who got kidnapped?"
"taken right from under his Dom's nose i heard."
Kurt tensed up as he heard the hushed conversation from the other side of the room. He let out a shaky breath and nudged Blaine gently. "Can we leave? Please?" seeing him shivering, his nails raking lightly across his arm again, Blaine nodded.
"wait by the door okay? I'm gonna get this packed up." he kissed Kurt's temple softly, which seemed to calm him a little as he got up.
The two wandered through the bustling streets, eating bits of leftover food with their hands from the take away containers they'd gotten. Every now and then Kurt would perk up and pull Blaine excitedly into a store to look at what they had. It was eleven by the time they got back to their hotel room.
"Where are we going?" Kurt whined, holding his hands out nervously in front of him.
"I can't tell you, it's a surprise!" Blaine insisted with a laugh. They walked for a few more minutes before stopping. Kurt glanced around curiously, even though he was blindfolded. "okay, you can look." Blaine finally said. Kurt yanked the dark material off his eyes and gasped in awe.
"you didn't." He murmured, astounded.
"oh but i did." Blaine chuckled. He bowed jokingly and said, "May i have the honour of your presence tonight Mr. Hummel?"
Kurt giggled and took Blaine's extended hand. "Why of course you may!" they laughed at their own silliness and entered the building, Kurt gaping at the huge stage. They got their seats (which were amazing) and Kurt began squealing excitedly as the curtain rose.
Kurt and Blaine were quiet as they walked through Central Park, scanning over all the trees and flowers appraising. After a few minutes Kurt pointed out a patch of dandelions, saying that his mother had loved them. The two sat side by side as Kurt stroked along the smooth wooden case, tears already welling in his eyes.
"we don't have to do this." Blaine reminded softly.
"No... no, i want to."Kurt whispered determinately. "I just don't know what to say."
"well, what's your favourite memory of her? Anything you want to say before you let go?" Blaine suggested.
"there was one time at the beach..." Kurt said, a faint smile on his face, though his eyes looked a million miles away. "We were just walking with our shoes off in the sand... and i was jumping to reach her footprints. And i said 'hey mom, I'm following in your footprints. Aren't you proud?' she just kinda laughed and smiled at me. Then i said 'well, except were you fell', because every now and then the sand would cave beneath her and she'd slide a little. I thought I'd said something wrong, but she just took my hand and said 'good, that means you wont make my mistakes.'"
"that's beautiful. May i?" Blaine's hand hovered over the box, and when Kurt nodded, he rested it next to his on the cool wood. He felt a hot tear hit his finger, and when he looked up Kurt was rubbing his eyes, looking like he was inches away from breaking down. "do you want me to say something?" Blaine offered. Kurt nodded.
"hello missus Hummel." He said quietly as Kurt leaned into him, drawing strength from him. "i never really knew you, but I'm completely in love with your son. You did a good job with him. Kurt is smart, caring, and the most loyal man i know. You did a good job with him." Kurt let out a little laugh, sounding sad and happy all at once.
He lifted the lid off the box and stared down at the greyish black mix inside. With a firm grip on Blaine's hand, he turned it over and watched as the wind blew them throughout the park.
"bye mom." He whispered. The two sat in each others arms as a gentle breeze combed past them.
"i love you Kurt." Blaine murmured. Kurt just closed his eyes and snuggled into him.