The Day Santa Wore Orange
Dun da dun da dan! Time to find out who the target of Phantom's Secret Santa Heist was…
Have a very merry Christmas, and here is my gift to you.
I hope you enjoy!
This is roughly 5YL!Verse.
And thanks to Erephen for looking over this for me!
Lambo woke up with a start. He looked at the clock. Yes, it was time!
CHRISTMAS WAS HERE!
He quickly jumps out of bed, throws open his door and zooms out of his room as quickly as possible. His bare feet barely touch the carpet as he runs, so eager to get to his destination. He throws open the doors to the room he wanted before running inside. The door slammed against the wall so hard that it rebounded and closed itself.
"Errnh… It's too early for gun shots. Go back to bed guys." Groans the room's occupant, rolling onto his back and laying a forearm over his eyes. A while ago he would never though that gun shots would be such a common occurrence that he wasn't even fazed by them anymore. How his life had changed.
Lambo barely notices how Tsuna-nii looked even more tired than usual. But he had spent a criminal amount of his time in his office recently. Lambo thought that it should be illegal to be stuck in an office for more than three hours. Otherwise where would Tsuna-nii find the time to play with him? At the moment Lambo had to very nearly kidnap Tsuna-nii to get even 5 minutes alone with him. Not that Lambo minded, it made Gokudera go that hilarious shade of red in anger, but the bruises and head bumps were getting painful.
But that didn't matter right now. It was Christmas for the love of grape candy!
So he keeps on running across the room and launches himself onto Tsuna-nii's bed, straddling the teen and bouncing on his stomach. "Tsuna-nii! Tsuna-nii! It's Christmas! Wake up! Lambo-san demands that you wake up!"
Tsuna had gasped in shock when Lambo had landed on him. He hadn't even been up 30 seconds and yet he was attacked already. Forget assassins and rival Mafia Bosses, his Guardians were going to be the death of him.
"But it's still early Lambo. Just go on without me." Tsuna mumbles, grabbing Lambo to make him stop bouncing.
But Lambo wasn't having any of that. Lambo-san wanted to open presents now!
"NO! Now now now!" Lambo shouts, bouncing even more forcefully.
Tsuna sighs before changing his grip on Lambo. Before the cow-child could tell what was happening, he was suddenly whisked onto his side and enveloped in a warm darkness.
"Go back to sleep Lambo." Tsuna-nii mumbles, getting comfortable again.
Well the bed was rather warm. And the presents weren't going to go anywhere without him. But even more importantly, Tsuna-nii had looked like he really needed the sleep. Ah! This could be Lambo's present to Tsuna-nii! Bwahaha! Who else was going to give Tsuna-nii TWO presents? Lambo-san would certainly be the best now!
With a grin on his face from his ingenious plan, Lambo snuggles against Tsuna-nii and falls asleep once more.
"Don't you Ho-fuckin'-ho me you baseball freak! If children saw you as Santa they'd run away crying."
"Maa, maa, Hayato, you need to lighten up. Join the festive mood."
Gokudera had long ago given up the fight against Yamamoto calling him Hayato. They had been family long enough for Gokudera to finally accept it. Plus the baseball idiot had earned his respect, saving Juudaime's life a few times. But if he got touchy…
As Yamamoto lays a hand on Gokudera's shoulder, the bomber turns around, dynamite already lit. "Get off me before I blow you away to Lapland. Maybe Santa can put you to work as an elf instead." It wouldn't surprise Gokudera to find that the idiot still believed in Father Christmas.
"Umm… Please be quiet. Bossu is still sleeping." Says a quiet voice. But despite it's low volume, the pair still heard it. Over time they had learnt to detect that particular voice. A trident swings, defusing the bombs that were about to go off. Chrome then points into the room infront of her, a finger to her lips in a gesture for silence.
Gokudera had been coming to wake Juudaime up anyway. He was sure that Juudaime wouldn't want to miss breakfast.
"Good Morning Juudaime!" he says happily as he enters the room. He freezes at the sight of the stupid cow cuddling Juudaime like he was some sort of teddy bear.
"Hnmm… 5 more minutes…" Tsuna pleads, pulling the covers over his head.
"Yeah Gokudera-shi, leave us alone. It's too early to hear your old hag voice." Lambo mutters. Gokudera balls up his fists in anger, gritting his teeth and quickly turning red in rage. If Lambo wasn't in Juudaime's bed he would already be in a world of pain.
Yamamoto laughs like usual as he crosses the bedroom. "C'mon now, you don't want to sleep Christmas away!" he says in a voice far too cheerful for any of the others. He leans forwards and grabs Tsuna, bed covers and all, before hefting him over his shoulder.
"Thank you, Tsuna," He whispers so that no one else will hear.
Gokudera wanted to shout at Yamamoto, demanding that Juudaime be treated with more respect. However, he did remember Juudaime's complaint from earlier in the month. With the build up to Christmas, more and more paperwork had flooded in, leaving Juudaime practically glued to his office chair- the Mafia obviously hadn't heard of The Season of Peace and Goodwill. He had moaned and groaned over it as usual but still got the work done impeccably. But Gokudera had taken special note of the few mutters about getting less time with the family.
So whilst Juudaime may not appreciate the act currently, he would appreciate being around the others once he finally woke up properly. Even being in the same room and soaking in the atmosphere would be enough for Juudaime. So hesitantly, Gokudera allowed Yamamoto to pick Juudaime up and exit the room. Instead he just grabs Lambo's wrist and drags the stupid cow out of Juudaime's bed. He shouldn't even be there in the first place. Imposing on Juudaime like that, disgraceful.
The room went silent as the door opened. Maybe Tsuna had finally arrived? The group burst into laughter to find their Boss over Yamamoto's shoulder.
"OOOOI, Tsuna! Now is no time to be sleeping. It's Christmas to the EXTREME. Why aren't you pumped to the max? Maybe you really should have come on my extreme Christmas morning run." Ryohei questions as Yamamoto places Tsuna down on the central sofa. But really, going an even longer distance than usual, in the snow, on a dark morning? No thank you.
"Don't worry Onii-san, I'm awake now." Tsuna assures. There was no quicker method to waking up than to have Ryohei shout at you and the threat of an 'extreme' run.
"Good Morning Tsuna-nii!" Sings Fuuta, waving enthusiastically from the other side of the room.
"Good Morning Tsuna-san." Says I-pin, slightly more quietly but with cheer in her voice.
Why was it that children usually never got up early except for Christmas day? Did they save their early mornings up to wake extra early on this day? If every day was Christmas and people woke this early then maybe the children would make it to school without rushing not to be late. Not that he was one to talk.
He was of course bounced on by the pair of excited children, who just like Lambo, hadn't really seen him since Chrome's birthday at the start of the month. Ever since then he had been all over the world twice, sorting out problems that grown adults really should be able to sort out themselves. That was the problem with his job really. In his mind Decimo never meant Godfather of the Mafia but Mother of it, smacking naughty 'children' back into place and sorting out childish squabbles.
So Tsuna allowed himself to be bounced on like a human trampoline, giving the pair back just as many hugs and good wishes as they gave him. He had missed them, he really had. The children really brought the fun and innocence back into his life, reminding him why he was doing the job he did.
"WAAAHH! Get off me Baka-dera!" screams Lambo as Gokudera drags him into the living room. Gokudera lets go of Lambo, giving him a 'light' kick into the direction of a chair.
"Gokudera," Tsuna says in a warning tone. Gokudera looks over and sees the look Juudaime was giving him. When Juudaime pats the sofa next to him, Gokudera had no choice but to go and sit where told. He gives Lambo one last warning look, demanding that the cow behaves for once in his life, before sitting down next to Juudaime.
"Hey Tako-head, don't go doing that at Christmas of all times. Where's your Christmas spirit?!" Ryohei shouts, standing up to make his point.
Tsuna looks at the clock on the wall. Wow, only 10 seconds in the same room before arguing. Was that a new record?
The argument starts, drawing in people from both sides of the room. Fuuta agreed with Ryohei, saying that Gokudera needed to get into the Christmas mood. Gokudera started shouting back about all the reasons he shouldn't be in the mood. Of course Yamamoto gets in the middle- both verbally and physically- and tries to calm everything down. But Gokudera never does calm unless on a mission or in a formal situation, and only shouts even louder at Yamamoto. Lambo doesn't help things with his threats and insults. Chrome decides she had better help, and for fairness sake, sides with Gokudera- he didn't have to be in the Christmas mood if he didn't want to be.
Mukuro sides with Gokudera, and not only because Chrome had decided to. With childhoods like Gokudera and Mukuro's, Christmas didn't really exist. It was a time where everyone else had everything and they had nothing. The Mafia didn't stop just because a socio-retail holiday came around. And if a fat man that lived in the North Pole really did exist, then it had been a very long time since that man had ever visited them. Then again, they had no chance of being on the 'Nice List'.
Tsuna watches from his safe place- which was admittedly directly in the middle of this argument- and smiles. In this house, arguments like this equalled love, he had learnt that a long time ago and had gotten over how weird that seemed. But then again he did have a tutor who showed caring through bullets, embarrassing scenes with underwear, and hammer thwacks. The Decimo Family was not normal, under anyone's definition of the word, but Tsuna liked that. He had learnt to appreciate this crazy new life- it wasn't like he had really enjoyed living a 'normal' life after all.
The sounds of the argument was even kind of soothing, he thinks as he absently removes a lit dynamite from Gokudera's grip before the bomber can throw it at someone. The sounds of shouting, insults, laughter, and even the swipe of a tonfa through the air.
Yes, even the sound of a tonfa…
Oh dear, they'd annoyed Hibari. The others could deal with it.
Tsuna brings his knees up to avoid being stepped on in the process of the battle, bringing the bed covers around him tighter. He places his head on his knees, watching the battle through blurry eyes just incase there was the need to step in and stop any injuries- you never knew when Hibari was involved. Yamamoto goes flying backwards, over the back of the sofa, but still lands on his feet anyway. Hibari rushes forwards, one foot on the cushion to start his jump over the sofa to continue his assault.
"Thank you, Herbivore."
Tsuna nods his head even if Hibari can't see him anymore. But he had just been demoted back to Herbivore, he thought he had been making progress over recent years.
The argument keeps on raging, not even about the original topic anymore, but that didn't stop his family.
Eventually Gokudera falls back down on the sofa, not bothered enough to argue anymore. He watches with a snarled lip as Ryohei tried to convince Hibari to dress more Christmassy. Like that would make a difference. Just as he's about to go and shout at Ryohei for being even more air-headed than usual, a weight leans against his side. He turns with a glare, ready to verbally bite the head off of the person who was trying to stop him. But he didn't. Instead the glare turns into a caring, revenant look, with a small smile lighting his lips.
For Juudaime was asleep once more, curled up with the blanket drawn around him and fallen on his side and onto Gokudera.
The Storm settles back down, moving into a position that he thinks will make Juudaime more comfortable. Juudaime makes a cute little noise in his sleep before settling down and leaning even more heavily on his Right Hand Man. Gokudera puts one arm on the back of the sofa, crossing his legs, looking the picture of a delinquent. But more than that it's a defensive posture ('Not that the others are smart enough to figure that out', he internally scoffs, 'except Juudaime of course!') And it was a good thing too, for within moments of settling down a pink grenade came flying in from behind them. His arm was in the perfect position to knock it back towards Lambo and protect Juudaime.
He resisted with all his might the natural instinct to fly up, turn around and give the stupid cow the lecture of his life along with a few smacks to make the lesson stick. But he didn't because that would mean disturbing Juudaime. And Juudaime had such a peaceful smile on his face, one he hadn't seen for ages since they had been dealing non-stop with Mafia work. He didn't want that smile to move from Juudaime's face. So he stayed where he was, the pair of them in the calm eye of a storm. And anyone who came close was removed… harshly.
"Thank you, Juudaime."
"Mrrrnh…" Tsuna eventually wakes up, but decides that he really doesn't want to move. Everyone was still arguing like usual anyway. But in reality, the main reason he wanted to pretend that he was still asleep was the hand softly stroking his hair.
"I know that you are awake Tsunayoshi." Says Mukuro, sitting on the sofa by his feet- wait when had he changed positions anyway?
"You can stay, I don't mind Bossu." Says Chrome in a shy whisper.
But hadn't he fallen asleep against Gokudera? The last thing he remembered was the smell of the Bomber's cologne and the undertone of smoke and gunpowder.
Opening his eyes just enough to see but still feint sleep, he finds Gokudera… who was ontop of Ryohei, his fists wrapped in the Boxer's shirt, shouting his head off whilst Lambo put his two cents in and was jumping on Gokudera's back. Yamamoto wasn't too far away, laughing whilst pretending the three were in a wrestling match.
Hibari was… not in his line of vision at the moment. But considering there wasn't any blood stains on the floor, Tsuna was happy.
"Um… Bossu… Thank you."
"Kufufu~ Indeed, Tsunayoshi, thank you."
Tsuna barely nods his head in reply, not wanting to ruff Chrome's skirt up any more than he had already.
Suddenly, Fuuta appears in his vision. "Hey hey, Tsuna-nii! Let's go play outside." Damn, he'd been caught.
Tsuna blinks… outside? Really? He was rather comfortable right here. But Mukuro was looking rather possessive at the moment, so maybe he had better move.
Tsuna is quite forcibly hauled from his position resting on Chrome's lap by the child with surprising strength. The heave soon turns into a drag and the pair exit the room, Lambo and I-pin following close behind.
Fuuta eventually pulls him to just infront of the front door before letting go of Tsuna's hand. He turns and grabs a hat sitting in a box of warm weather gear before turning to Tsuna. Leaning forwards, he puts the hat on Tsuna's head. Wouldn't want Tsuna-nii to get cold now.
"Thank you, Tsuna-nii."
I-pin grabs the matching scarf, wrapping it around Tsuna's neck.
"Thank you Tsuna-san."
Lambo comes running around the corner laughing his head off before upending the box all over the floor in an attempt to find his own cow print gloves and hat. Tsuna sighs at the mess before leaning down and putting the items back into the box they belonged in.
"Haha, guys, I know you're excited an all, but there's something you're forgetting," Laughs Yamamoto as he comes around the corner. The trio of children look over towards him with worried faces. What had they forgotten? With an easy smile on his face, Yamamoto walks up to Tsuna and slings an arm around his shoulders.
"Tsuna's only wearing his pyjamas and his bed cover. He's going to get cold if he goes out like that." The trio look down and remember that Tsuna-nii had indeed not gotten dressed this morning, but instead stolen out of bed by Yamamoto. They had gotten too excited. Again. The children look down guiltily.
"Maa, maa, it's alright. How about we go get everything sorted whilst he goes and gets dressed?" Suggests Yamamoto, wrapping his own scarf around his neck. The children's faces light up immediately. With bright smiles and shouts they drag and push Yamamoto out of the door as quickly as possible. Yamamoto gets a chance to look over his shoulder and wink at Tsuna, saying he's got it covered, before he's pushed out of sight.
Tsuna sighs, that had been close. He didn't need to get a cold when he had finally gotten some time off.
Tsuna turns around to find Gokudera in mid-over-dramatic leap. The Storm Guardian gets hit in the chest by the incoming snowball, but that didn't matter in his mind since he had saved Juudaime! He falls to the ground, hands pressed against the now very cold spot on his chest, acting as if he'd just been shot.
"Akk, I'm sorry Juudaime. You'll have to go on without me." He gasps reaching up with a shaky hand. "At least I protected you until the very end…"
Tsuna smiles down at the man who took any form of warfare very seriously. Gokudera smiles back before pretending to pass out. Gokudera really took some things to extremes, Tsuna thinks. But his thoughts are interrupted.
"Ouch," he hisses, jerking forwards. He'd just been hit with another snow ball. Gokudera's eyes flash open and before Tsuna can even stand up properly, Gokudera is back on his feet, fist in the air. "Who the hell threw that at Juudaime! You idiot I'll blow you away to hell!" What happened to being mortally wounded in the line of battle?
Tsuna bends down and starts to make a snowball, deciding to finally attack back instead of just dodging. He turns around, deciding on who to aim at first. Target locked, he draws back his arm, only to have the snowball collapse and the snow to fall through his fingers like lumpy sand. He stares at his hand, wondering where his lovely snowball had gone.
"AHAHAHA! That was rubbish Tsuna!" Shouts Ryohei, laughing and pointing a finger in his direction. Tsuna pouts before going to make another one, this time planning to show the boxer exactly just how wrong he was. But sadly his plan fails as this snowball too loses it's shape and falls back to earth.
"Geez Tsuna, you can't even make a snowball." Ryohei sighs, having watched failed attempt number two. He walks over and crouches down in the snow at Tsuna's feet, packing the snow around into a new snowball.
"Your methods are too soft Tsuna." He says, putting a lot of pressure onto the snowball. "Sports is all about overcoming limits." Tsuna was wondering where this speech was going; if Ryohei said he was going to take Tsuna to the Olympics even if it destroyed his body, he was going to have to search Ryohei's room for speech cards. It was already sounding strangely like the speech Ryohei gave when trying to teach Tsuna how to swim.
"It takes time and effort, and you were trying to rush to the Championship before you even qualified." Okay, this was a new speech. Plus Ryohei's voice was a lot calmer than normal too. It was more of a controlled passion rather than the horde of burning Flames that usually played background to such speeches.
Ryohei stands before placing the snowball in Tsuna's hands.
"Remember that behind every world class boxer is a kick-ass support team." Tsuna blinks at Ryohei, surprised both by the soft sincere tone and the actual words- once translated from Sportsman into normal Japanese of course.
Ryohei then grins broadly before grabbing his shoulders and spinning him around. "Now go kick some butt Tsuna! Show them your determination to win!" he shouts, sounding more like the man Tsuna knew. Tsuna gives a small evil grin when he sees the target Ryohei had picked out for him. Lambo. The child that had woken him up this morning. Time for some revenge.
He throws the snowball towards the cow print clad child, watching as it retains its shape even after it had left his hand. It just misses Lambo, whizzing inches past his face instead. It makes the boy jump and slowly look in the direction the snowball had come from. He grins when he sees that it was Tsuna-nii before turning around and slapping his behind in Tsuna's direction.
"Can't get me Tsuna-nii!" He taunts, continuing with his rude motion until Fuuta takes advantage and dumps a bucket of snow over Lambo. Tsuna grins and laughs, looking back over his shoulder at Ryohei.
"Hey, Onii-san, can I have another one? There's someone else that needs a lesson." He smirks in Yamamoto's direction. The swordsman himself was too busy grabbing Gokudera's collar and dumping a handful of snow down the Bomber's back.
"Sure thing Tsuna!" Ryohei laughs, turning to find a new patch of snow to make new ammo with. "But your aim needs some work."
Tsuna jumps when Ryohei places a new snowball in his hand before grabbing his wrist and the opposite shoulder. Ryohei forcefully swings Tsuna around to be in line with their next target, crouched down slightly so that his eyeline was on level with Tsuna's own. The hand on Tsuna's wrist pulls backwards and into a throwing position. The hand on Tsuna's shoulder pulls backwards too, forcing Tsuna to transfer his weight onto his back foot, all to add more momentum into the throw.
"Thank you, little Brother."
Before Tsuna can react to the whispered statement, Ryohei makes one of his guttural roars. "Yooossshhh! EXTREME SUNNY SKY SHOOTER!"
Tsuna finds himself along for the ride as Ryohei pushes them forwards and initiates the 'correct and manly' throwing action. The ball certainly had more force behind it now than Tsuna could muster alone, but that hadn't really been the idea. At least the ball now covered the distance between Tsuna and Yamamoto, Tsuna had had doubts that he could even throw that far.
But Yamamoto, with his Hitman senses, as Reborn had so lovingly named them, caught sight of the ball. But before he could catch it, Gokudera got revenge for Yamamoto's earlier stunt, tripping the swordsman up and onto the floor. That of course meant that the snowball missed.
And hit someone else.
There is silence in the battle field as all eyes turn to the person who had just gotten attacked and their protector. Which one would crack first? Would there be tears? Or anger? Or retaliation?
Chrome giggles as she wipes the snow off of her hat. She leans down and collects snow, forming her own snowball before standing upright once again. With a smile on her face, she summons her trident before whacking the snowball with it, tennis style. Tsuna is too shocked to do more than stare at the incoming Snowball. Ryohei had backed away when the snowball had missed its intended target. Annoyed or angry illusionists were not fun to fight against.
Tsuna gets hit by Chrome's flying projectile, too stunned to move out of its way. Chrome gasps at actually having hit Tsuna before running over.
"Bossu, are you alright?" she asks, wiping the remains of the snow off of his jacket.
"Oh my god Chrome, I am so sorry to have hit you like that. You were only watching and I was after Yamamoto for having dragged me out of bed this morning, and I'm really really sorry, you didn't get hurt did you?" Tsuna asks in one big rush, checking Chrome over for any sign of injury.
Chrome chuckles slightly, "No Bossu I am fine. I… like watching the Christmas proceedings here. They are very fun. I…" She looks away from Tsuna and at the rest of the group who had re-started their snowball war. "Before I came here I never had a happy Christmas like this. My parents were too busy with their jobs to spend a lot of time with me. So it's… nice and… warm… to have a Christmas like this. I don't really want it to stop. Even Mukuro-sama is having fun."
Tsuna looked over to where Mukuro was before flinching and laughing nervously. Yes, it certainly did look like Mukuro was having… fun…
Mukuro's leather gloves had tightened around his trident as he watched Chrome and Tsunayoshi talk and smile. Tsunayoshi had made an attack on his dear Nagi, and he wouldn't allow that slight to one of his own. But what kind of illusion should he use?
But eventually Mukuro stopped imagining what type of illusion would draw out that dreadfully girlish scream from Tsunayoshi. Chrome was smiling, a proper smile too, and had even tentatively joined in with the snowball fight. Mukuro didn't want to stop her fun.
So instead he made a snowman that looked like Tsunayoshi before laying into it with his trident. Happy days all round.
It was the end of the night and Lambo returned to his room, full of grape jelly that they had had for dessert. He changes into his pyjamas and is just about to jump into bed when he notices something at the foot of his bed. A stocking.
How had he missed that! He wonders. He looks inside and his eyes widen so much so that it's amazing his eyes don't fall out. For inside the stocking is a whole variety of grape candy. He grins a winning grin before stuffing his hand into the stocking and pulling out a random candy. He takes a look at the wrapper and slowly a small smile forms instead of the crazed grin he had had before.
You see this grape candy was special. It was one he had tried and fell in love with during a mission with Tsuna-nii in France. And Tsuna-nii was the only person who knew about this particular brand.
"Thank you, Tsuna-nii."
As Tsuna lay in bed that night, barely keeping his eyes open, he looks back at the reason he had been so tired all day. And despite the lack of sleep, the resulting smiles and thanks were reward enough and far outweighed the negatives.
And why was Tsuna so tired?
Well you try to sneak into the bedrooms of some of the strongest and well trained Mafioso in the world. Mafioso who were trained to react at the slightest sound and defend themselves from assassins who tried to kill them whilst they slept. All the while wearing a bright orange and white outfit a few sizes too big with pillows stuffed under your shirt and a too-large hat falling over your eyes and an itchy beard that made you want to sneeze, all because your tutor proclaimed that this was yet another Vongola tradition that he had never ever brought up in the previous years but you still had to do it anyway.
Yeah, I don't think I could do it either.
In this house of Vongola, nothing was done by conventional means. It was a place where respect was shown through one's height on a food chain, where caring was shown by how many times a month one was reminded that a certain someone wanted to possess their body, the safest place on Earth where violence was a daily occurrence.
So there was no reason for Santa to not wear Orange.
It wasn't as if Storm was going to be Santa now, was it?
I hope you all enjoyed this fic, especially you Cael05!
Merry Christmas everyone, and I hope it's a day filled with fun and laughter for you all.
Phantom Hitman 1412
First Published 25 December 2012