I Am Here
"Hamlet, dinner is ready." Laertes said, opening the door to the room.
He found the male staring blankly at a wall, sitting in the middle of the bed. The brunette went towards him with a deep sigh, knowing why the latter was acting so lifeless in the unlit room with only the moonlight coming from uncovered window to aid his sight.
"Hamlet." Laertes called out once more, a softer tone this time.
The blonde looked to him, his eyes showing no gleam as it did before. There was no fight in him anymore, as if he had given up living altogether ever since... ever since that day.
"Laertes," The smaller of the two finally uttered, tears began to brim at the edges and slid down the cheeks.
"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry." His voice was weak and trembling as he said this. His being filled with pain and regret for both of them lost someone they both treasured greatly.
Laertes didn't know what to say that'll be of any help, so he let his actions speak for themselves. He embraced Hamlet as a form to comfort his sorrows, and maybe, even his own.
"I killed him, Laertes. I'm a murderer." He sobbed, putting his head to his hands. "I killed Horatio, Laertes! I killed him."
The brunette vividly remembered that day, and knew of the whole truth.
It was raining harder than ever at the month of spring time. One could say, it was the perfect weather for the tense atmospheric scene between Hamlet, himself, Horatio, and Claudius.
Horatio and he were inside the castle earlier that day, and was supposed to be chatting the day away like any other that had come. However, on their way to the dining rooms to sneak out some snacks, along the corridor, they happen to hear from one of the servants that Claudius was planning to kill Hamlet and play it as suicide.
Both were stunned and baffled by the news, and it was Horatio that took action by prying all the information they could get out of the poor servant, which was rather new to him for he had never seen the black-haired man get so angry before.
The servant spilled the beans, saying that the king had called for the prince to meet at the garden at noon. Immediately, they ran as fast they could to the gardens for it was only minutes left until the meeting time.
Once reaching their destination, it was already raining hard, and the scene wasn't something they'd expect.
There was Hamlet, a gun on his hand, pointing at Claudius... Yet, the latter was also doing the same action. It was as if, the young prince was expecting this. However, they knew better. Horatio and himself knew that Hamlet wouldn't be able to pull the trigger, not with those quivering hands of his.
He knew he needed to save Hamlet and was about to rush in to interfere, but a hand on his shoulder held him back. He saw Horatio shook his head, and said words that he didn't want to hear. Words that he wanted to deny.
"I'll go there instead. You have to stay here, Laertes, because Hamlet will need you."
'No. No! Don't do it!' He screamed in his thoughts and wanted to verbalize it, but couldn't. Not with the latter looking so determined for nothing was going to be able to change the decision that was made.
Horatio smiled at him, "I want you to promise me that you'll protect our Hamlet no matter what. Well, I want you to protect him no matter what, but knowing that you're a man of word is a much better reassurance."
Without warning, the older male rushed to the scene, leaving him to watch it unfold right before his very eyes.
'Wait!' He wanted to shout, his hand reaching out as if it would lengthen itself to grab the two and pull them back to him.
He flinched at the familiar sound of doom. He had heard them so many times in battles, and wished that he would never have to hear such revolting noise ever again.
Everything around him moved in slow motion, as Horatio fell to the ground with a loud thud. The mud dirtying the once pristine clothes, as well as blood that seeped out of the now cold and lifeless body.
He looked to Hamlet, finding the latter trembling like that of a deer in headlights. The gun slammed to the ground with a resounding splash as the blond dropped to his knees and held the black-haired male tightly. He began to sob and scream, and begged for forgiveness. Not knowing what to do with himself from the guilt of killing someone dear to him.
He walked towards the blonde and stared at them with sorrow, controlling his anger when he glanced to Claudius. His body also laid on the ground the same way Horatio's did, but he greatly wished that it was him instead to shoot the corrupt man, for his lividness was threatening to burst out of the seams.
However, he had more important things to take care of and what was done was done. He looked back to the crying teen, kneeling down to remove the arms off of the dead body that they once had taken comfort in its warmth, and wrapped his own arms around struggling figure.
"Let me go!" Hamlet yelled, his struggles slowly decreasing as time passed, but his tears continue to fall from his eyes relentlessly.
He blamed himself for not being able to do anything right. He wasn't able to protect Horatio, and he didn't know what to do with Hamlet. Heck, he was in turmoil himself, but he knew that he had to keep going despite the outcome of the ill-fated event.
Horatio's words resounded in his mind; their last promise to each other that he hadn't given an answer to.
He let out a sad smile, as he made his decision to accede such a request. "Hamlet, that's enough. It's enough..."
"Laertes... Laertes, I–"
"Shh, it's ok." He turned Hamlet around and tried to pour his warmth into the latter's freezing wet skin despite the rain hitting him just the same. "I'm still here, Hamlet." He encased the blond as best as he could to shield him from the rain. "I'm still here for you, and I promise to protect you."
He could hear the sobs lessen in volume as shaky hands clutched onto his arms. "Laertes, I'm sorry."
He couldn't say anything, knowing that his voice wouldn't be heard even though they're so close to each other. He went with easing the smaller male up, "Let's get you changed and have you rest." He said in a gentle tone as he guided him to his room.
He looked, scrutinizing Hamlet's expression, and found his eyes soulless.
... Just as they were now months after that incident as he gazed upon emerald eyes, trying to find that missing spark deep in that dark abyss.
"Hamlet, you didn't kill Horatio."
"Yes, I did! You saw me! He fell to the ground without a fight, and his body was so cold to hold... I'm nothing but a freaking murderer and you won't even let me kill myself!" His eyes began to tear up as he lowered his head in shame, but this time, Laertes held his face as they stare at each other in the eye.
"Listen to me! You didn't kill him, you little brat. You're right, I saw the whole thing, but it's not what you thought that happened." This earned him a confused look from the other, making it able for him to get the chance of ridding the misunderstanding.
His could finally be heard in that shroud of guilt, sorrow and pain. "It wasn't Horatio you shot, but Claudius."
"... Claudius?" Uncertain if it was true, but he wished to believe that he can allow himself to trust the other's words.
The brunette nodded in affirmation, "Yes, and it was Claudius who shot him." He let out a small smile, "Horatio used his body to shield you from the bullet. That guy was too caring for his own good isn't he?"
Laertes chuckled, trying to lighten the heavy atmosphere that has been looming over them for too long. He could see that it worked for Hamlet laughed along with him. Finally, after all this time, the blond had allowed a smile to grace his face. Those dead eyes began to shine, overwhelmed with relief as his burden went away.
"You're finally smiling again, you little runt," he said, smoothing the untamed hair for being bedridden for most days.
Hamlet regarded him with a contemplative look. With both hands, he grabbed for Laertes' head, and asked, "Do you love me?"
The brunette wondered what had brought this up, "Why do you ask this?"
"... All this time, you never left my side and took care of me regardless of my misconduct. You were gentle, kind, and loyal to me, but at the same time, I feel insecure that you aren't really here... Like, you were forced instead of doing so willingly." His voice was beginning to crack, but he managed to prevent it from doing so. "So I ask you, do you love me, Laertes?"
"... In what form do you speak of?" The brunette wanted to clarify just what it is the latter was trying to do as to not mess up their current bond.
"In whatever form you wish to expand on." Hamlet awaited with anticipation, and could only hope for the best.
Laertes contemplated and evaluated their relationship. Their personality foiled that of the other. Horatio had always been there to make sure that they won't cross the line in terms of insults, but now that he was gone, it was up to him to decide for the younger male could still be declared as emotionally unstable.
He loved Hamlet like family, but he won't deny that he wished to hold him dearly at times. He promised to protect him, but he knew that deep down, he would still do so anyway regardless of his and older male's agreement.
The brunette was positive that he had made the right decision, as he voiced out his answer. "I do love you, intimately if you wish. However, that may lead to pain, and we had yet to fully recover from the deep gash that was made in our hearts."
The blond didn't care if it hurt him anymore. He only wished to be held, as to know that he was still alive... and that, there's still someone there for him to be by his side. "I want you to make love to me," he reverted back to his usual attitude towards Laertes, since, it was all becoming too serious for him to handle. "You're lucky to even be chosen, peasant. Feel gratification to be able to even touch me."
Laertes laughed heartedly, knowing what the other was trying to do, and it was amusing to say the least. "Cheeky brat," he played along. "Don't blame me if you can't walk for a few days."
"Hmph, like a low level servant can do such a thing."
"You asked for it," he tackled the younger male on the bed.
They looked at each other, and understood that they needed this. If they were ever going to be able to move on, this was their only choice to comfort each other in a way that they could understand one another.
Whether they'd be hurt by it later in the future, it wouldn't matter, for at this moment, it was all the two needed.
"I love you, Laertes," Hamlet said this with newfound tears brimming in his eyes.
He's really gone
Laertes kissed the tears away, knowing who they were for. "I love you too."
They kissed, pouring an abundant amount of emotion into it.
Will we be really fine?
Holding onto each other, as if afraid that the other would just up and vanish.
I don't know... but
They gazed into each other's eyes when they parted, memorizing features of subtly erotic beauty laid before them.
"Do it." Hamlet ordered, and Laertes obliged. For just this one time, they would forget about everything around them, and concentrate as to who's right in front of them. All that hate, guilt, regret, and sadness, thrown aside even if it was just for tonight. Let the two enjoy their scarce time of freedom, for they've already passed the point of no return.
We could hope for the best and keep moving forward
My first Hamlet Oneshot! Yeah! Dedicated to PigeonWife for her OT3 loving. Also, since Hamlet characters has a variety of versions, let's just say this is one them I based on~
I worked really hard and was really proud of this one. So, I hope you guys enjoyed reading this~
Suggestions and comments are welcome! =^w^=