Author's Note: So...I kind of finished chapter 4 and then school and life happened and chapter 5 didn't. I apologize for the wait. I hope this makes up for it. I think this might be the end of this story. I don't seem to be good at doing chapter updates, so I think I'll stick to one shots from now on.
To everyone who has read this story and followed it/favorited it/commented on it/spied on it from a distance, thank you so much. I truly am so grateful. It really means a lot to me, and I'm sorry if I let you down.
"What did I do wrong, Aubrey?"
"Beca, I really don't want to talk about this right now."
"No. Come on. She must have said something to you. What did I do?"
"Jesus, Beca, you're not even wearing gym clothes, did you just come here to bombard me with questions?"
Aubrey shot her a look, a bead of sweat rolling down the side of her face. The whirring of her treadmill and the ones to the right and left of her filled Beca's mouth until Beca found her next words.
"I – well – I knew you would be here and... I just wanted to…"
"You're coming off desperate."
"What? No way."
"You followed me to the gym to ask if Chloe said anything to me about you?"
Aubrey rolled her eyes and slowed her treadmill down to a walking speed. "Listen, Beca, I don't know what happened between the two of you, but she hasn't said anything. I'm sorry."
Beca looked down. It had only been a few days since she had gone to Chloe, but she must have said something. To someone. Right? She must have told someone how she felt? Chloe did that, right?
"Aubrey, could you…"
"What?" Beca hated the pity in her voice. "What, Beca? What do you want me to do?"
"Nothing. If she didn't say anything, that must mean… It's fine. Nevermind. I'm sorry I bothered you."
Beca turned and walked away before Aubrey could say I don't know if this is relevant, but Chloe did tell me she made a mistake, she said she messed up something, she said she could have had it all. Beca didn't turn back, she didn't hear Aubrey's gasp of realization that having it all could have just meant having Beca, she just kept walking through the sea of treadmills and still bikes, a sea of people moving so fast and never going anywhere.
Beca tried to pretend that it was fine. It was fine. Everything was fine. Everything was definitely fine. She went to her classes it was fine and raised her eyebrows at the off-color jokes Amy made it was fine and leaned in closer to Lily only to catch "– of old people in hospitals" it was fine and faked polite smiles to Kimmy Jin it was fine and never managed to catch Chloe's eyes it was fine and didn't talk to Chloe it was fine and she wasn't with Chloe it was fine and Chloe never – but it was fine. Everything was fine.
A week passed of everything being fine. Then, on a Thursday morning, Beca found herself late to class, which wouldn't be such a big deal if this hadn't been the day of their last test before the final exam. She had practically run to the shower and then back to her room, not bothering to dry her hair. It hung, slightly tangled and dripping wet, as she pulled on jeans and the first shirt she could find. She grabbed her bag and rushed out the door, almost forgetting her keys. In the corner of her vision, she could see the smug amusement in Kimmy Jin's raised eyebrows.
Barely looking where she was going, she stopped herself just before bumping into someone going into the shower room. Muttering a "sorry," she kept going, but something in the air pulled on her. She turned back, and while her feet kept moving her face was caught. Her eyes were caught in the other pair of eyes looking at her. They were looking at her like how are you in this hallway and how are you just here and how could you have been the one to almost bump into me and god Beca why do you make it so hard to move. The face and the body with the eyes that had caught Beca's were still were still were still and then, as if the earth had stopped and then pushed itself to start turning again, the face and the body and those eyes moved. Beca had stopped by then, having almost bumped into someone else, and watched as Chloe turned and went into the shower room.
The fake-fineness came crashing down around Beca and she knew what she had to do. She rushed back to her room and, without even bothering to try to hide herself, she stripped down and wrapped her still damp towel around herself.
"Beca, you just –"
"Not now, Kimmy."
And with that, Beca was back out the door, her mind racing. She knew what she was doing, and yet her stomach twisted and turned and her head felt so light.
She stood in the center of the shower room, her peers shuffling around her. Why are there so many people here. She closed her eyes. She took in a deep breath and oh god Chloe please be here please make this worth it she dropped her towel. She could hear the snickers around her, the murmurs and mutters, she could hear the strange looks.
Another deep breath.
Her eyes, her eyes make the stars look like they're not shining
Her voice felt so empty and alone. She shivered. This was stupid, she was stupid to think that – but she continued.
Her hair, her hair falls perfectly without her trying
She opened her eyes. The other people in the shower room were staring at her, and muffled laughter filled the corners of the room. This was too humiliating, she couldn't believe that she had thought this would work. She could feel herself turning red, but then she saw her. Peering out from behind a shower curtain.
She's so beautiful
Beca's voice was strong now, drowning out the reactions of the people who had stopped what they were doing to watch her.
And I tell her everyday
Chloe stared at her, a timid question in her eyes. Beca couldn't help but smile.
I know, I know when I compliment her she won't believe me
Beca began walking to Chloe's shower, leaving her towel on the floor where she had dropped it.
It's so, it's so sad that she don't see –
Chloe's voice joined Beca's.
It's only just a dream
"Chloe?" It was quiet, a whisper underneath the music that still echoed in their ears.
"I'm sorry – I'm sorry I didn't – "
Chloe pushed her shower curtain aside and kissed her, holding her face, holding her hair, holding her.
"You're naked. You just sang in front of all these people. Naked."
"I know." She laughed a little. "I know."
She turned around to see the small crowd that had formed and breathed a small oh god.
Beca turned back.
The tile walls of the shower room warmed at the sight of two girls holding each other, kissing each other.
The small crowd began to cheer.