10 Reasons Love Potions are Illegal
Chapter One: The Match Makers
By, Rosekeet
A/N: This is my first attempt at a romance/comedy fic but I'm trying! This is going to be Ron and Hermione and um.... yeh... R/R!!!!!!

Draco Malfoy shivered as he sat in about a foot of slush by the lake. It would have been much easier writing all of this down inside the castle as his fingers were growing numb but he couldn't risk anybody finding out. In fact, he was pretty sure that 15 generations of Malfoy's were rolling in thier graves at that very moment. But he didn't care. Nothing could keep him away from his secret passion: match-making. Hmm.... Let's see... he thought looking at the list. 1. Cho Chang and Blake Robbins
2. Pansy Parkins and Slate Samson (Maybe that'll make her leave me alone...)
3. Ginny Weasly and Colin Creevy
4. Vincent Crabbe and Martha Anderson (He deserves SOMEONE...)
5. Mary Sue Hills and Gary Stu Lilth

Yes, that will do nicely for now... Draco thought as he rolled up the list and stuck it in his robes.
It was Febuary 8th. Exactly one week before Valentines Day.
~*~
Ron Weasly and Hermione Granger were having one of their famous fights. This time it was about about the color pink.
"It's nausiating!" Ron yelled his fists clinched at his sides.
"It is not!!!!!!" Hermione retorted her fists clinched at her sides, standing 5 feet away from Ron. "It's pretty!"
Harry Potter sighed and pulled the ear plugs out of his bag, putting them in his ears. Just about every other Gryffendor did the same. The ear plugs were invented by Fred and George. Each time you put them in they played a different song. The twins had made a killing off them. Every Gryffendor had bought a pair and many (Harry included) had bought more than one, for safteys sake.
Yuck. N'Sync. Harry thought with disgust. Why did Fred and George have to put them on here? He turned and looked at Ron and Hermione who were now bellowing soundlessly at each other, red in the face. He decided that he'd rather listen to Bye Bye Bye than them. He turned back to his books and started writing the essay for McGonagall. The other Gryffendors who had been talking took out parchment and quills and continued their conversations on paper, not thinking anything about it. It was just another day in the life of a Gryffendor.
~*~
"Ron, if you like Hermione so much why do you fight with her?" Harry asked sitting up in bed to look at Ron.
"I do not like her!!!!!" Ron snapped his face as red as his hair from all the yelling.
Harry snorted.
"Sure you don't." He said sarcastically.
"Why would I like her? She's only the most annyoing smart aleckey prettiest nicest, ugh, I'm not getting into this..." He said rolling over.
"You must like her some. I mean, this time when you threw the next book at her you missed, come to think of it you've never actually hit her with anything though she got you pretty good with Trevor last week."
"Ugh, don't remind me. My mouth tasted like toad for a week. ERRRRRR! I SWEAR she's impossible!" Harry shook his head and rolled over listening to Ron ranting to himself. "and pink is a gross color, she doesn't have anything pink!" Harry put the ear plugs he had under his pillow he had stored for just such an occasion in. Ahhh... elevator music....
~*~
"HE'S IMMPOSSIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!" Hermione bellowed throwing a lipstick against the wall.
"Hey, that's mine!" Lavender said rushing over to retrive it. "Do you have to throw things Hermione?" she snapped as she petted the lipstick fondly. "This is my faovrite color..."
"For someone who's impossible, you sure like him a lot." Pravati said happily. There was nothing she liked more than a good gossip about someone else love life. Hermione glared at Pravati who just giggled insanely.
"You do like him! You do!" Hermione just sat on her bed and glared.
"Like who?" Said Ginny Weasly popping convenently into the room.
"Your brother!!!!!!!!!!!" Pravati and Lavender squealed together.
"Oh, Hermione likes Ron? Well, duh." She said with a shrug. "I came to get my book back, Lavender."
"Oh, here you go!" Lavender said handing Ginny a book entitled I'll Follow You to the Ends of the Earth that had a pictuer of two sparsly clad people clinging to each other on the cover.
"Wasn't it good?" Gushed Ginny.
"Especially the part when Edwardo confessed his love for Cassandra and then Jacques shot him and he bled to death in her arms. I sobbed myself to sleep!" "I know..." Ginny said eyes watering, at the thought.
"It was almost as tragically romantic as in There is no Happily Ever After when Rodrigo tells Christine he loves her as the Titanic sinks beneath their feet." Pravati said who had read the book as well.
"No way! The only thing that comes close is-"
"Honestly!" Hermione exploded. "Can't you read anything remotly close to reality! In real life the boy you love throws things at you, and argues with you and is rude and obnoxious..."
"So your admitting you do like my brother?" Ginny asked keenly.
"Of course not! Who could like anyone so annoying, and rude, and offensive, and obnoxious, and suspecious and cute in goofy sort of way, and sweet and funny, and so what! I'm head over heels for him!!! ARGH!!!!!!" She practically yelled and rolled over. Pravati, Lavender and Ginnny all squealed with delight.
"I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! Just like I knew how Filtch and Trewlany have been having a secret love affair for 2 years!" Pravati squealed
"What?!"
"Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! So, how long have you liked him, Hermione?" She said trying to change the subject.
"I am not talking about this!" She snapped. "I'm going to sleep!" Pravati, Lavender and Ginny waited until they hear her snoring softly before talking more.
"It's just like in the books..." Ginny said with a sigh.
"Yes..." Pravati said.
"And it is sooooooooooooooooooooooo painfully obvious that Ron likes her!" Ginny gushed. "And Valentines day is only a week away!"
"You're right!" Lavender said looking like her birthday had come early.
"We can get them to confess their feelings for each other!"
"Just like in Walk Over the Rainbow!"
"Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!" Pravati squealed. "Only it should be like it was in Tulips Red, Violets Blue."
"The only problem is Ron is horrible at speeches like that." Ginny said her face falling.
"How do you know?" "I've heard him practicing in front of the mirror at home. It was awful! Like something V.C. Andrews would write!" They all wrinkled their noses. They abhored V.C. Andrews with a passion.
"We should have him read Walk Over the Rainbow and Tulips Red, Violets blue!" Pravati said.
"YES!!!" They all agreed, eyes misting over imagining Ron and Hermione's confessions of their feelings, all of which looked a bit like the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet. You had to feel sorry for them.
~*~
Harry walked out of the Great Hall the sounds of Ron and Hermione bikering finally out of range. He sighed with relief as he pushed the door open and exited out unto the grounds. He shivered. It was freezing and he didn't have his cloak. Oh well. Better out here than in there. He headed over to a tree by the lake. As he walked up to it he realized that his least favorite person was there. Draco Malfoy. Malfoy was busily writing something down on a piece of parchment.
"Whatcha got there, Malfoy?" He said snatching the paper out of his hands. "Hey! Give that back!" Harry scaned the paper. It was an entire list of couples. Besied the names were things like "Send flowers and card". "Give chocolates." and"romatic poem". Harry grinned, his day looking up. There was enough here to blackmail Malfoy into dancing naked with Doby in front of the entire school, not that he wanted to see that. (Who would?)
"Taking up matchmaking?" He asked with an infuriating girn. Draco's face went red. He hated it when people insulted his hobby.
"Yes." He said seeing no way in getting around it. "It so happens that I am responsible for the sucsessful dating of 83 couple since I have been at Hogwarts. 50% of which lasted longer than 3 months. 20% lasting longer than 6 months. 10% lasting a year or longer. One 7th year couple I set up in my 1st year ending up getting married!" He said proudly. Draco Malfoy? Match maker? The idea was crazy. Laughable. But yet... An idea came to Harry's mind.
"I've got a proposition for you Malfoy." he said. Malfoy didn't say anything.
"I won't tell anyone about your little 'hobby' if you do me a favor."
"What kind of favor, Potter?"
"Match Make Ron Weasly and Hermione Granger."
"Ooooooooooooh.... you two setting up Ron and Hermione too?" Sqealed Lavender running towards them.
"Can we help?" Asked Pravati.
"Pwease?" Begged Ginny. Draco looked horrified. What choice did he have? "Yes." He said painfully rubbing his temples. This day was not going well. Not well at all. The girls squealed with delight. Harry covered his ears.
"But it won't be easy!" Draco hurried on a plan forming in his mind. "This'll take somethign strong as if we sent them flowers or something they'd think it was a joke. This is going to take something special. Though it won't take much as it is like soooooo obvious they like each other. Something that I only save for special occasions."
"What is it?" Ginny asked breathlessly though they all knew the answer. Draco looked very solemn as he drew a red heart shapped bottle from his robes.
"Love Potion."