I am semi-alive. My birthday present to you! Next chapter tomorrow.

Deidara gave a semi-comfortble moan as he laid on the couch, the sound of the t.v. soothing him into a small state of slumber, though he knew it was a bad idea to fully fall unconscious. The afghan around his body was warm, the whole house was warm and cozy. If it wasn't for his current situation he would fully relax in this haven but he knew that was never going to be possible.

Without even hearing a sound, he felt a hand run down his arm and he visibly tensed, much to the man's displeasure. "You don't have to be so afraid anymore, Angel," He whispered into the blond's ear before kissing down the his neck, moving the afghan while doing so. "You know you're safe with me."

Deidara opened his eyes just barely to see the man's own neck. "I'm tired," He mumbled, feeling drained from the day before when Sasori had ravaged him for nearly five hours. After that he left to get more supplies for them and Deidara was left alone in the house but he was unable to get out.

The redhead hummed into his neck and stood up so Deidara had to open his eyes wider to look up at him. "Have you been eating, Angel?"

Deidara looked away and nodded slowly even though it was a lie. Whenever Sasori left for errands he wouldn't eat and if there was anything in his stomach he would purposely vomit to lose any nutrition he had. Sasori had all the knives and anything sharp locked up in the kitchen so he couldn't really kill himself that way so he chose a more subtle approach even though it was agonizing to go through.

Sasori tsked his tongue and shook his head. "I hate it when you lie to me, Deidara. So much." He kneeled by the couch and Deidara sunk into the plush cushions.

"I am eating," He protested weakly as if he were a child.

Sasori put a hand on his head and pet his hair softly. "Yes, but keep the food in your stomach. I'm tired of seeing vomit wash up in the toilet."

The blond tensed and Sasori stroked his head once more before getting up to leave the living room.

Deidara had been awake, alive, for nearly three months. He knew it was that long because Sasori would let him watch the television and when the news was on he would see the date. He didn't like watching the news very much. Most of it was either boring or a tragedy had befallen someone.

When Sasori was gone one day, he had turned it on to see his face on the screen. The reporter was saying that he had been kidnapped a little over four months ago and that there were no suspects so far. There was also a murderer out who killed three college students and Deidara had to bite his swollen lip to prevent from crying when he saw his former boyfriend's name on the screen.

But besides that he could watch whatever he wanted on the limited cable system Sasori's t.v. was running on and Deidara was surprised that they serviced this far out in the middle of nowhere. There were windows in the home and he could see deciduous trees outside along with some saplings and shrubs which were dying off in the fall weather.

He doubted anyone knew there was a house out here and if they did, why connect the two and think he was there? He sighed and looked at the screen to see a sitcom on about a group of friends drinking in a bar casually.

"Did you eat at all when I was gone, Deidara?" Sasori's voice was less welcoming and Deidara had to stop himself from curling up into a ball.

Where had his power gone? His resolve to never submit again? When had he become to weak again? He knew the answer to all of these questions but reasons were beyond him.

"No," he admitted quietly. "I wasn't hungry."

Sasori tsked his tongue again and by the sound of it he was in the kitchen. "I can make you something if you'd like, Angel," He said sweetly.

Deidara sat up immediately and shook his head. "No, it's fine, Danna I can make something myself, un." He looked back into the kitchen over the couch and Sasori looked unamused by his rashness. When the redhead got like this Deidara didn't want to ingest anything that he made. Once he had gone into a sort of fever that made him terribly desperate and guess who was there to tend to him?

"But you aren't going to eat if I don't make you food, Angel," Sasori cooed and Deidara slunk back into the couch.

"Okay…"

"I'll even make your favorite."

After a moment the blond could hear his captor take out things for his meal and he felt sick just with the thought of eating.

He looked up at the ceiling to see skylights, letting in an abundance of light into his depressing world. They were surrounded by wood and Deidara guessed this was a fairly new house due to the state it was in. The floors were wooden as well making and everything was decorated nicely making the blond think that Sasori payed someone to make it look nice but knowing the redhead he probably did it himself.

It didn't look much like their old home and he wondered why Sasori didn't try to remind him of that life.

There was a fire place going by the far wall to his right and it kept the house warm, unlike one of the rooms that Sasori kept for him. The thought of that room made him shudder. He closed his eyes and pulled his knees to his chest to try and forget about that room.

It was plain. Four white walls and a metal table with restraints for him. It was the coldest room he had ever been in and it was where he was tortured only a few months before and he had been taken there again for misbehaving. But who would believe him? His body was clean of any wounds and he didn't want to know how Sasori managed to "fix" him.

"Deidara, come eat."

The blond suppressed a wince when he heard his welcoming voice. It was sweet and dripping with danger. He almost whimpered when he thought what the redhead had in store for him.

"Deidara," Sasori ordered as he placed his hands on the counter dangerously. "Come eat," He ordered. The blond was still sitting on the couch but after a moment he moved, the afghan falling off of him as he stood up.

The younger male kept his head down as he walked to the kitchen table slowly, feeling extremely cold even though he was wearing thick sweat pants and a long-sleeved T. With each step he took he suppressed a wince at the discomfort in his hips and ass. He didn't meet Sasori's eye as he sat down at the table, the redhead placing a bowl of soup in front of him with a fork and a napkin.

"Eat all of it by the time I'm back, Angel." Sasori leaned down and kissed the side of his head before heading to what Deidara presumed was his office. He was never allowed in there so that's just what he called it. The only thing he knew about the room was the instrumental music coming from the other side of the door. It made Deidara want to throw up everything time he heard it.

After he heard the door close behind the older male he looked down at the bowl to see it was his favorite, at least it was when they had been a consensual couple. Hazelnut soup. He blinked slowly and picked up his spoon before dipping it slowly into the liquid, the smell wafting up to hit him in the face.

Giving a small blow to the soup to cool it down, he sipped and it tasted just as he remembered. He hated it. The taste, the memories, all of it. And once it hit his stomach he was reminded of the ache that lied there and almost moaned in pain from the reawakening.

Nothing tasted out of the ordinary so he ate as much as he could even though it made him noxious. He had no idea how long Sasori was going to stay in his office but the times always varied so he wanted to finish all of it before he came back.

He waited at the table for a moment and stood up, leaving the bowl and spoon on the tabletop. Sasori never cared if he made a mess and if he did, like leaving a dish around, he didn't care, he just took care of it. But with how Deidara was treating his new home, it seemed he wouldn't be making a single dent.

Just the sound of home sent shivers through him.

As he walked back to the couch he allowed himself to limp and bring the afghan around him once more before curling up on the couch. If he ever wanted to fall asleep just a little this was the place to do it. He didn't like the nicely furnished room that Sasori had for the both of them because it was one of the many places that the would be forced into submission.

He let his eyes slipped closed and that was where his first mistake laid.

-Later-

He tried his best to suppress his moans into the couch cushion but Sasori was literally trying everything in his power to get a sound out of him. He was even gentler than he had been the day before but Deidara knew that meant nothing to Sasori. Rough, gentle, loving, violent. It was all the same to him and a ploy to try to bring him closer.

A cry escaped the blond's lips, his face raised lightly from the cushion; however as he did so, Sasori grabbed his hair from behind, pulling his head back, bringing tears to his now wide eyes.

"You've been very defiant today, Angel," Sasori mumbled against his shoulder blade, his shirt still on. Deidara just gripped the afghan beneath him knowing that he wouldn't be able to use it again after this. Anything that Sasori touched seemed to disgust the blond, even himself.

His thrusting still continued gently but the grip on his hair showed just how violent the redhead could get. Though once he was released, Deidara's forehead was back on the couch cushion and he found it safer to allow the noises escape from his throat no matter how much he hated himself for it.

Sasori purred a praise for the blond finally submitting like he always did, like rewarding him each time was going to make it easier to let go but Deidara found it the most difficult thing he had to do in this situation.

It hadn't taken long for him to finally reach his zenith, not needing his or the redhead's touch as the man continued to control him from inside.

He was trembling as Sasori finished inside of him hotly; not even needing the low groan in his ear to know he had. After a moment the older male pulled out slowly and Deidara collapsed on the couch panting lightly. He didn't look up as he felt Sasori kissing his neck lovingly before getting off of him and fixing his pants.

"Would you like to take a bath, Deidara."

The blond didn't even respond, knowing he would have to do what Sasori said anyway. He always did. The man helped him up but Deidara was still worn out from having another round so the redhead picked up with the afghan so he wouldn't be cold.

But even when the blond was in a tub filled with hot water with Sasori he still felt cold. Just the feeling of the redhead kissing down his neck sent unpleasant chills down his body.

Sasori had pulled him close to his chest so he could wash his hair and body but Deidara kept on staring ahead, his back to the redhead.

"Deidara." The blond didn't respond as Sasori washed his back and Sasori didn't expect a reply either. "I'm going to be gone for a few days, all right?"

That caught the younger male's attention and Deidara turned his head to stare at Sasori questioningly. The man just smiled at him and his fingertips grazed his slender shoulders in reassurance.

"It's fine. I just need to find some more things for the both of us. I can even get some clay for you if you'd like." Deidara didn't reply but instead turned back around as Sasori continued to talk. "I'll only be gone for three days but the same rules still apply like when I always leave." He leaned in close and brushed his lips against the blond's neck. "Stay inside at all times, if you actually find the way out that is. Don't try to take your life with whatever you find, I don't want to come home and find you in a puddle of blood." Deidara shivered when he bit his neck in warning before letting go. "And eat, I don't want you collapsing from starvation. Anything in kitchen is accessible to you but if I find that you did try to hurt yourself…"

The fingers resting on his shoulders gripped him painfully and he gasped as Sasori dug his teeth into his neck. After a minute he let go and brought his bloody lips to the blond's ear.

"I can make you hurt just as much as you can yourself. Be prepared for that if you plan on harming yourself." His voice turned gentle and he kissed the new wound his created before splashing some soapy water on it to clean it. After that he continued to clean Deidara and at one point his hand skimmed the mark on his outer thigh where the redhead's name had been carved into gently.

Once they had been well lathered, Sasori had both of them stand so he could turn on the shower head to rinse themselves. Deidara stood in front of Sasori as the older male made sure to get all the soap off of him and after he was clean Sasori had him step out and dry himself as he finished washing up.

Deidara wrapped a towel around himself and stepped off the shower mat and onto the cool white tiles of the bathroom. Like the rest of the house, it was well furnished and rather new. There was even a skylight in there as well to allow more natural light into the home.

He didn't bother drying himself off properly before walking out of the bathroom and to his shared bedroom, his feet slapping against the wood floors. When he walked into the room he was confronted with a canopy bed with curtains tied to the posts, the ropes ending in tassels.

The curtains and bed were a chocolate brown and burgundy red giving, like everything else in the house, a warm feeling. He moved to the brown dresser which contained a mirror, but Deidara avoided looking at it as he opened the top drawer to get a pair of boxers, not even bothering to dry himself off first. He let his towel fall and grabbed a pair before slipping them on. After that he grabbed a pair of loose jeans and a baggy t-shirt but as Deidara was about to pull on the t-shirt he caught himself in the mirror.

He wasn't looking at his face, which he knew was ashen and somber, instead looking at his torso. He traced a faint line where his sternum was and remembered vaguely that this was the first cut that Sasori had made four months ago. This was just a straight line but the scar was so faint he was having trouble seeing it, needing to squint. After that he touched his right shoulder and followed another faint line that led down to his wrist. But the worst was at his navel. Unlike the others he could vividly remember Sasori cutting him up at his stomach with no sense of direction like a painting and he was the canvas.

Deidara felt a pair of arms around his waist and he stiffened before taking a deep breath. Closing his eyes he felt the man kiss the new mark on his neck which was adorned by many others.

"You're going to catch a cold, Angel. You didn't even dry off," Sasori mumbled as he grabbed the blond's towel from the carpeted floor before wrapping it around the blond's still shoulders. "Finish getting dressed and I'll make you a snack."

Deidara heard the redhead leave the room and he guessed that he had spare clothes in the bathroom that he changed into. Not bothering with the thought any longer, Deidara picked up the t-shirt and slipped it on, again not even wiping himself down. He let his wet hair hang down his back to dry and when he stepped towards the kitchen he could hear Sasori chopping up something rapidly with a knife. The sound made him shudder and he slinked back into the bedroom to rest.

When he came to live with Sasori once more he never imagined it would be like this. He would have thought that the redhead would have beat him to death by now but it seemed he was a whole new level of crazy. He didn't strike him anymore or rape him painfully, well it was rape without his consent.

Sure the sex would be rough but it hadn't been to the point where he would black out from the pain like before. Deidara scoffed as he sat on the bed. He thinks that just because he's gentle that I'll like this? He thought. It seemed that because he had him on full lock down that it was okay to be nice to him and Deidara hadn't done anything bad, because he never did anything now, so Sasori had no reason to beat him.

But if he did something would the redhead come close to killing him?

Deidara smiled bitterly at the thought of death. Even while Sasori would leave he would look for things to at least cut himself to drain himself of blood but there was really nothing he could find and maybe he wasn't desperate enough yet to stab himself with a fork. Maybe.

"I've made you some salad," Sasori said appearing in the doorway only to frown once he saw the blond still sopping but in clothes.

Deidara bit his lip and dug his nails into his palms. He hadn't really defied Sasori yet and he wanted to do it, just to show that he wasn't always in control. Who knows, maybe he would kill him in an accidental fit of anger?

"You're still wet, Angel, even when I told you to dry off. Now we have to get you out of those clothes."

Deidara stiffened at hearing that voice and wished that he didn't take every single opportunity to fuck him. It was getting really tiring. Sasori walked over to the blond and kneeled in front of him a smirk lighting his lips.

"You look cold," He whispered as he kissed the blond's neck Deidara not moving an inch. "I can warm you up, Angel~" He leaned in and kissed his lips but the blond still wasn't responding. He pushed him down onto the bed and straddled his hips, his hands going up his body slowly before going down to unbutton his pants. "You've been cold to me this whole time, Deidara. Even after all I've done for you." He sat up and Deidara stared up at the top of the canopy, not wanting to meet the redhead's eye.

Though he was confronted by it when he was slapped harshly across the face. His hands immediately went to his cheek but a Sasori caught his wrists and made him look him in the eye.

"See? That's better," He cooed before kissing the heated skin and Deidara gulped, not liking the redhead's mood changes. Not one bit.

-Later-

Deidara didn't know how long he had been tied to the posts of the bed but he knew it had to have been at least four hours because the sun had gone down. But he couldn't pay attention to what time of day it was or how long he had been there with a vibrator roughly shoved up his ass.

He had no idea what Sasori was trying to do to him but he hadn't come back into the room after he left, leaving the blond wondering. Though it was hard to do as he felt any wave of pleasure overcome him, his cock aching in need. He moaned though the ball gag in his mouth muffled the noise as he pulled at his bindings around his wrists and ankles.

He glared up at the canopy and pulled at the ropes around his wrists tighter in hopes of breaking free but no such thing happened. The were tied securely and any chances of using sheer force to rip them would be a miracle.

Clenching his eyes shut, he bit down on the gag as he came another time, the semen splattering on his stomach and chest with the old. He panted once it was done but he immediately hardened with the long vibrator rubbing against his prostate.

He had no clue as to what Sasori was trying to do at the moment but this was probably one of the worst punishments he had ever experienced. It was so show that he had no control and that Sasori had him on a leash like a dog but Deidara seriously wanted to prove that he could get out, that he wasn't afraid of him anymore.

He gave another tug just as the lights came on, and Deidara knew if they canopy had not been there he would have been blinded momentarily.

"Hello, Angel~" Sasori cooed as he walked up to the bed, a slight sway in his step which made him seem just a bit more threatening. But the grin on his lips was new and Deidara realized by his bloodshot eyes that he was drunk. "H-how are you, Dei?" He asked as he climbed onto the bed and lied down next to the blond calmly, his hands on his stomach as he looked up at the canopy as well.

Several minutes passed and Deidara was waiting for the redhead to realize that he had a gag in so he couldn't answer but the man said nothing. The blond raised his head to look at the older male to see his eyes closed and he groaned, letting his head fall back down. He knew he couldn't go on with the vibrator stuck inside him and he hoped that it would soon just run out of juice before dying.

"Something wrong, Angel?" Sasori asked, after a half-hour or so, eyes opening and Deidara knew by his voice that most of the drunk stupor was gone.

He knew that if he didn't respond that Sasori was going to get mad and he really didn't want to find out if he was an angry drunk. He shook his head knowing the redhead probably wouldn't care anyway.

"Really?" Sasori sat up and looked the blond up to see dried semen on his torso with some of it seeping onto the comforter of the bed. He was also shivering and the redhead knew it wasn't from the pleasure, but from the cool room. "You don't look fine."

Deidara gave Sasori a half-lidded gaze and pulled at his bindings to show what he wasn't liking. Sasori chuckled and smirked and leaned in close to the blond's face.

"Aw, but you look so cute when you're tied up, He purred before lapping at the saliva at the edge of the blond's mouth, allowing Deidara to smell his rancid breath. "Adorable~" He reached down and touched the head of Deidara's member and the blond involuntarily bucked into the warm touch.

Sasori then gripped his cock and began stroking roughly, making the blond buck his hips more. He hated this, he really did. Even though he wanted to defy Sasori, how was he supposed to? Especially in this situation where he had him at his mercy.

"Since I'll be leaving I want a slight… precaution," Sasori finished as he got in between the blond's legs. Deidara must have made a face because Sasori smirked and shook his head. "No, I'm not going to leave you tied up like this," He cooed. "Just… tire you out a bit." The hand stoking the younger male went down towards his heat and he roughly pushed three fingers inside, Deidara tossing his head back in pain, groaning even though the gag muffled it like his moans. "Shh…" Sasori pushed them further until he felt the string for the vibrator and caught it between his middle and fore finger, pulling it out quickly.

Deidara gasped and gave a sigh of relief once it was out. He heard the thing thrown somewhere but couldn't pay attention to where. He had been feeling tired before with Sasori sexing him up once he got home but this just added to that, making his eyes fall almost immediately.

"Ah, ah, ah," Sasori shook his head and unzipped his pants. "Don't you want to be relieved, Deidara?" The blond shook his head and the redhead's eyebrows furrowed before he reached over and pulled the ball gag out of his mouth roughly. "I said, 'Don't you want to be relieved?'"

"No," Deidara answered just as confident, eyes burning. He didn't care what Sasori did to him, he had already done his worst, really, so there was nothing that Deidara couldn't take from him.

The pieces may have been broken and lost but the blond was making his own now. He was going to fight back.

Sasori glared darkly and he slapped the younger male across the face, making his head snap back. While he was stunned Sasori undid the bindings around his ankles, showing the raw skin, and picked up his legs slightly, positioning himself as he did so.

"I can break you again, Angel, it'll happen just like," He stopped to thrust in dry and Deidara's mouth opened to scream but he bit his tongue and shut his mouth, "That." Sasori chuckled and pulled out and thrusted in again. Deidara had kept his mouth shut as he continued to bite his tongue and he knew that Sasori was going to do anything to make him submit again.

Sasori was gripping the blond's hips painfully but he had let go to claw at his sides and legs, savoring the way that Deidara shivered from the pain. He hadn't stopped his rough sex and he knew that Deidara wasn't going to get off on it so he began aiming for his sweet spot. This was a punishment, yes, but to the blond being given pleasure from someone you hated was a punishment.

Deidara just stared up at the canopy, tasting the blood fill his mouth as he tried not to make a sound. Sasori hands, which were digging into his flesh was now gently caressing the skin of his thighs, stomach and chest though he ignored it. Hopefully Sasori was a drunk where he would get tired of something and finish it quickly.

Hopefully.

-Morning-

The sun was beginning to shine through the windows as Sasori was getting dressed in warm clothes. He pulled a grey hoodie over his head as he caught sight of the figure in bed from the mirror. He couldn't help the smirk that crawled it's way to his lips as he saw the exhausted blond. He hadn't really let up the whole night to make the blond submit, but in the end Deidara ended up passing out.

Sasori's face fell as he continued to stare at his former lover before turning to see him fully. He was intrigued by the fact that Deidara was able to defy him so easily but what surprised him even more was that the blond didn't succumb. Why didn't he fall again? Sasori scowled as he walked over to the bed to see Deidara one his side, hair over his eyes and arms stretched out in front of him as he slept.

Though at least his precaution worked. Sasori guessed that Deidara wouldn't wake up until late afternoon and when he did he wouldn't be able to walk, that was for sure. He made sure that it would be painful enough to sit down so he knew that it may be a day and a half for the blond to roam free about the house.

Sighing, Sasori ran a hand over the blond's face, moving the hair out of the way where he was able to see Deidara's pallid face. He knew that he couldn't completely starve himself for three days and anything dangerous was locked away, even the knives. But if Deidara did manage to hurt himself then Sasori would do just that and hurt him even more.

He didn't bother to glance at the sleeping male's face again as he left the door, closing it behind him. He had his own things to do at the moment and that was most important.