Disclaimer: Standard
Setting: Day After Season Finale
Rating: R (for language and sexual situations)

Comments/suggestions/critiques are wonderful!

Rory sat at the diner counter, biting her lip and staring into her
coffee mug. When she'd come in 10 minutes earlier, Luke had told her
Jess was on an errand and that he should be back in 5-10 minutes.
So she was waiting. But the longer she waited, the more nervous she

'You are not going to chicken out of this, Rory Gilmore,' she thought
to herself. 'You have to talk to him.' She took a big swig of her
coffee. When she put the mug down, he was there, in front of her on the
other side of the counter, with the carafe.

"More coffee?" he asked.

Rory inhaled and shook her head. "Actually, no."

"Really? What's wrong?" Jess looked sincerely concerned.

"Can we go somewhere and talk?"

Jess looked down at the counter and nodded. "Sure." He smiled wanly at
her. "I figured this was coming. You pick—-upstairs or the bridge?"

"Upstairs—-if you think Luke'll leave us alone for awhile."

"He'll have to be down here. It's slow, but Caesar's off tonight. I'll
just go tell him where I'll be. Door's open; you go on up. I'll
be right behind you."

Rory went upstairs and stood in the hall, trying to decide where they
should talk. The living room was too exposed, but Jess's room was,
well, too intimate. "Maybe some music would help," she thought, and
headed into Jess's room to browse his CDs. Jess stepped into the
doorway just as she was pulling a Morcheeba disc out of the case.

"In here?" he asked.

"I was really just hunting for music, but it's okay in here. I didn't
know you had this CD; trip-hop doesn't seem like your style."

"It belongs to a friend; got moved with me by accident. But it's good
for being mellow."

"Yeah, mellow's good." Rory sat down on the bed.

"So, what do you want to talk about?"

"Surely you know."

"Yeah." Jess's voice was bitter. "Let me guess-—it was an accident; you
didn't mean to do it; you don't know what possessed you; you don't
think of me that way; can we still be friends?; will I please not tell
Bag Boy…"

"Jess, stop…" Rory heard the edge in his voice and almost lost her
nerve. "Look, only part of that is true. It was an accident, and I
didn't mean to do it, but not in the way you're saying." Rory stood up
and began pacing around between Jess's bed and the CD player. "God, I
don't really know how to say this, but, well, it wasn't like I just
took leave of my senses and thought 'hey, I could kiss him' and then
did it without thinking. It was more like, well, it was really that I
was just so surprised and, and happy to see you that I, well, I sort of,
I forgot to remind myself not to kiss you."

"Huh?" Jess was confused. "What does that mean—forgot to remind
yourself not to kiss me? That sounds like, well, it sounds like you
actively have to stop yourself from kissing me on a regular basis."


"Yeah?" Jess's head was spinning. She could not be saying this. "How

"Very regular."

"How regular, Rory?" Jess had moved to sit on the nightstand next to
the bed and was watching her pace. Her hands were crossed over her
chest and he watched her hands twitch nervously over her shoulders.
"How often do you have to remind yourself not to kiss me?"

Rory stopped pacing and stared out the window. His question rang in her
ears. She braced herself. "Every time I see you. Every time I think
about you. Every time someone mentions your name." She turned to
look at him. "Every time I pass the diner, every time I pass the
bridge. Every time I make a note in the margin of a book. In fact,
I spend a ridiculous percentage of my time thinking about kissing you
and reminding myself that I'm not allowed to." She sat on the edge of
the bed facing away from him and buried her face in her hands. "I'm sorry."

"Whoa." Jess was blown away by her confession, but her apology confused him.
"Wait, why are you sorry?"

"Because we were friends and now I've gone and made everything
uncomfortable because I can't control my stupid teenage hormones."

Jess couldn't help it; he laughed aloud. "Rory, two people don't
generate the sort of heat we did yesterday unless they're both having
hormone trouble. As far as I'm concerned, you can kiss me every time
you see me. Hell, just call me when the thought pops into your head
and I'll come kiss you."

Rory was staring at him. "You aren't mad."

"Mad? Jesus, Rory, why in hell would I be mad?"


"What about Dean?"

"I – I came on to you even though I have a boyfriend. I thought you'd
think I was playing with you, teasing you, or something." She stopped,
because Jess had stood up and was shaking his head vigorously.

"Rory, first of all, I'd have to know absolutely nothing about you to
think that you were even capable of playing sex games with me. And
second, I'd have to know absolutely nothing about sex not to be able to
tell that that kiss was sincere. Not that it didn't send me
straight to a cold shower, but I knew you didn't have an ulterior
motive. I had no reason whatsoever to be mad. And you can still
kiss me anytime you want, Dean or no Dean."

Rory was still staring at him, but smiling a little. "Y-You liked it.
You aren't mad. I didn't make you uncomfortable."

"Well, I wouldn't exactly say that…" Jess chuckled. "Aforementioned
cold shower had nothing to do with the humidity." Grinning, Jess sat
on the bed and leaned back against the headboard. "Ah, she blushes.
So, does this mark the beginning of a new and much more affectionate
stage in our relationship or am I just in for a period of excessive
cleanliness and permanent goosebumps?"

Rory couldn't believe they were talking about this. She felt heat
course through her body as she contemplated the possibility of
kissing him whenever she felt like it. But Dean...

"I don't know. I have no idea how to deal with this. Obviously Dean
wouldn't be as cool as you about the idea of my kissing you while I'm
still technically his girlfriend. But what I don't know is whether what
I'm feeling for you is…" Rory paused to think and Jess held his breath.
"Well, better, than what I feel for Dean or just different. I don't want
to not kiss you, but I don't want to break up with him either. I feel
safe, and loved, with him. And he's good to me, and takes care of me,
and I know better than to take that kind of love for granted. Some
people never find anything close to that." Rory turned to lie on her
stomach facing him and propped up her head in her hands. "But I also
know that I'm young, and I'm really not likely to stay with Dean forever,
and I feel things and want things with you that I couldn't care less
about with him."

Jess's eyes darkened with desire as he looked at Rory, sprawled out on
his bed, and heard her telling him that she wanted him. Her words and
the husky tone of her voice aroused him. He reached down and pulled
her up so she was lying next to him.

"What things do you want, Rory? Because you can have whatever you want
with me." He propped himself up on his elbow and traced the edge of her
face with his fingers. "Anything." She closed her eyes and he dragged
the pads of his fingers against her throat. "Everything." She
shuddered as he stroked a fingernail against the sensitive skin just
above the neckline of her tank. "Just tell me and I'll do it." He
brought his mouth to within centimeters of hers. "Whatever you want."

Jess pressed his lips against hers and tugged on her chin to open her
mouth. Rory couldn't believe it—-he was actually kissing her. Gently,
but with more passion than she'd known existed. Oh God, he was SO not
mad at her...she smiled and lost herself in the kiss.

"Rory," Jess murmured. "I want to know. Tell me what you want to do
with me that you don't care about with him."

Rory opened her eyes, hungry with wanting. Could she really let Jess
see how much she wanted him? She pressed her hands flat against his
chest, and the warmth burned. She wanted more. "I want to touch you.
Here. Without your clothes." Her voice faltered a bit on the last,
and she squeezed her eyes shut so he wouldn't see the emotion that
was reddening her cheeks.

Jess knew the roaring in his ears had to be his blood vessels
spontaneously combusting. 'OK, you're going to wake up now,' he thought
to himself, shaking his head and blowing the air out of his lungs. But
her hands were still there, clutching his shirt. 'Oh God, I'm not
dreaming. This is really happening.' He took her hand in his and sat
up, bringing her palm to his lips before reaching down and grasping the
hem of his shirt. He saw her catch her breath.

"Are you sure?"

She nodded, and he pulled the shirt over his head and threw it to the
floor. He lay back down, leaning on his elbow again, and watched her as
she hesitantly reached out and dragged her thumbs down the center of
his chest, her splayed fingers feather-touching every inch of him from
his neck to his waist. Jess closed his eyes and forced himself to
breathe, restraining the instinctive thrust of his hips as her touch
aroused him. She ran the palms of her hands back up his chest, then
tentatively stroked the pad of her thumb against his flat nipple. This
time he couldn't restrain the movement; his back arched toward her and
his face contorted.

"Rory," he groaned. "Come here."

Jess pulled her against him, catching her eyes and stunning her with
the intensity of the heat in his expression. But then his lips were on
hers and the heat enveloped them both. Rory felt his arm under her
waist, bent across the small of her back, crushing her to him as his
other hand tangled in her hair. He trapped her legs under his thigh,
putting his weight on his knee, and Rory wrapped her arms around his
torso and pulled him closer to her. Jess was sure the room was spinning.
He couldn't be holding Rory against his bare chest, kissing her...it
just wasn't possible. "Oh God, Rory," he whispered. "You taste amazing.
I haven't wanted to eat for the last 24 hours for fear I'd forget..."

Rory shuddered. He sounded...she couldn't believe her kiss had affected
him that much. Jess's mouth moved down the side of her face and
he nuzzled her ear with his tongue, caressing the sensitive
skin on the side of her neck and in the hollow between her
collarbone and shoulder. Rory's eyes flew open at the sensation.
Dean had always kept his lips on hers, used his hands to caress her.
Jess's hands were cupping her hips, pulling her up and against him.
'This is why people make love lying down,' she thought. It was
as if he was touching every part of her body. He stroked his lips
against her throat, not quite kissing, and Rory lost all conscious
thought, moaning softly and dropping her head back to give him
greater access to her neck. She felt his hot breath against her
skin and raked her fingernails against his back.

Jess pressed against her shoulder so she was lying on her back, and she
tangled her hands in his hair as he dragged his mouth down toward her
breasts, drawing a tip into his mouth through the fabric of her top.
She arched her back and wrapped a leg around his waist, and suddenly
Jess found himself nestled between her legs. He lifted his torso so he
could watch her face as he thrust his hips against her, wishing their
clothing would disappear at the same time he was grateful for it. He
needed to stop…

"Damn it!" Jess pulled himself off her and crossed the room, leaning up
against the wall for support and raking his hand through his hair as he
struggled to steady his breathing. Still not looking at her, he grabbed
his shirt from the floor and pulled it back over his head. When he
finally turned toward her, she was sitting up in the bed, head down,
knees up, arms wrapped protectively around her legs. He opened a
drawer and threw her a clean t-shirt. "Here, put this on. Your shirt
is wet where I kissed you and it's driving me crazy to remember."

She looked up at him, her eyes wide and her hair touseled, and he
caught his breath.

"Rory, we have to be careful. It's…well, it's not usually like that. I
usually have a lot more self-control. You arouse me more than any
other girl ever has."

"Oh." Rory couldn't help it. She smiled.

Jess laughed. "You like that idea, don't you? Who'd have thought that
Rory Gilmore would turn out to be such a siren. But Rory, it's
dangerous when we both lose control so easily. I'm not sure I'm
capable of moving slowly with you. We probably need to stay out of
bedrooms and make out in relatively public places-—which brings us back to the
problem of your boyfriend. I understand you're not thrilled about breaking up with him,
but I don't think you and I are going to be able to stay away from each
other indefinitely. Do you really think you can do this with me behind
his back without feeling so guilty it'll make you miserable?"

"Probably not." Rory pulled the t-shirt over her head and crossed her
legs Indian-style. "You knew that all along didn't you? You're
experienced enough; you knew it would be like this between us. That's
why you sounded so bitter when you thought I was going to say I didn't
mean it."

"I had an idea, but there's nothing in my experience that quite
prepared me for this. I'm a pretty long way from a virgin, but
I've never felt anything like what happens between us. If I'd known
when we came up here what I know now I probably would have put up
more of a fight—-thank God you didn't tell me you didn't mean it."

Jess was smiling at her, looking at her possessively, and she felt warm
from his gaze. "Oh I meant it all right. I didn't know how I meant it.
Wow. I suddenly feel much more worldly." Jess wiggled his eyebrows at
her, so she sat up on her knees and wagged a finger at him.

"Cut that out, Mr. Long-Way-From-Virgin. Just because you grew up in
the big lascivious city while I was stuck out here with everyone in
town watching my every move does not give you the right to make fun of
how naïve I am. Or was."

Jess sat down and pulled her onto his lap. "Yeah, yeah, I think you're
still pretty innocent. I'll bet I could make you blush in a matter of

"Humph." Rory turned so she was straddling him. "You just wait until
I'm as far on the other side of virgin as you are. Then we'll see how
easily you can make me blush."

"You'll be married to some Harvard guy and traveling the world by that
point." Jess's expression turned solemn. "And I hope he'll be able to
make you blush. I hope you'll always be naïve compared to me. Nobody
should be as jaded as I am."

"Hey, I won't be married for at least…oh. Jess. Just how far is a long way?"

"Five years."

Rory scrambled off his lap and sat on her knees watching him. "FIVE
years? Jess...you were twelve?" He nodded. "God, no wonder you're
jaded. Do I want to know?"

"I doubt it."

"How many have there been, Jess?"

"Four. Not counting a couple of nearly but not quites."

"Wow. And you really want me more than ANY of them?"

Jess turned and framed his face with her hands, looking straight into
her eyes. "I want you more than I've ever wanted anything in my life.
And I'm terrified I'm going to fuck things up with you, hurt you again,
break your heart, shatter your innocence. My conscience is already
eating at me...your first time should be with someone who doesn't bring
a long sordid trail of meaningless sexual encounters with him..."

"Jess, that's ridiculous," Rory interrupted him and blushed. "I like the fact
that you know what you're doing."

Jess laughed. "Siren. Don't tell your mom that."

Rory laughed with him. "I won't. Although I'm sure she'll know
something has happened. She's been reading me about this all along.
She and Dean both thought that you were more than I could
handle, but I suspect they didn't really have any idea. I sure didn't."

"Personally I think you handle me just fine. But at least now we know
why Dean was acting so weird. He saw the chemistry in spite of our denial."

"Yeah. Looks like he was right that he couldn't trust me with you."

"That'll teach you to underestimate my sex appeal."

"Never again, Dodger. Jess…I don't really know how to ask this, but, well," Rory
looked right into his face. "Are you sure you're healthy?"

"Yes." Jess was relieved she'd asked. At least he knew she was making a
rational decision about this. "I've had two thorough physicals since
the last time, and both times nothing. I was always safe, and although
I know this isn't what you were asking, I have actually never done any
drugs stronger than alcohol. So no risk from needles."

"I'm glad. For a lot of reasons."

Jess stood up and reached for her hand. "Speaking of your mother, I
suspect she's getting worried about you, and I should probably help
Luke clean up. He'll be up here soon and it's probably not the best
idea for him to catch us in my room. There's probably a house rule
against that."

"Probably. There is in my house. Good thing you've never gotten
caught coming in the window."

"Hey, I was just stopping by to borrow a book…completely innocent…" He
took her hand and they walked out of the room and down the stairs
toward the diner.