A/N: I'm sorry this hasn't been updated in a while, but I swear everything is against me. My computer stopped connecting to the internet, our internet is messing up and my laptop charger broke. Which means I don't have long on the internet (only until the charge runs out) and then I'm screwed. FFS. I've also been at my dad's for several days and he has no internet. I swear everything is against me! At least writing this chapter helped cheer me up and I hope it makes you laugh/smile c:

Thank you for all the reviews, follows and favourites; it really makes me happy.

Disclaimer: As much as I wish I did, I don't own Merlin.

Sorry for grammar, spelling and punctuation mistakes. Also, feel free to criticise/critique anything; I really don't mind and I never take offense. I'm always greatful for criticism.


"You are so cuddly." Gwaine yawned, loosening his grip on Percival and opening his eyes. He beamed at his 'teddy bear' and everyone could tell by his smile that he was still partially drunk.

"Even if Gwaine's still hee-haw. He's not our hee-haw current problem." Arthur said through gritted teeth, crossing his arms across his chest and frowning.

"Oh my god, it's a donkey!" Gwaine shouted excitedly, his eyes wide as he scrambled to his feet. He glanced around, then frowned with disappointed, glaring at Arthur. "Aw, I wanted to ride the donkey. You're not a proper donkey!"

"Thank god!" Arthur exclaimed.

"It might not stay that way though." Merlin laughed in Mordred's head and the young knight grinned, thinking that that would be highly amusing.


"What has happened?!" Leon gasped as he opened his eyes. His hands were pressed against his chest and his eyebrows were furrowed together. The knights stared at him with confusion whilst Mordred and Merlin exchanged grins.

"What's the hee-haw matter?" Arthur said slowly, hoping that if he said it slow enough, he would just speak. Unfortunately for him, that wasn't the case.

"I'm a women!" Leon cried.


"I think maybe one of us is a sorcerer."

"Shut up, Gwaine."


"You know because you are women, Leon?"

"Yes, Gwaine..." Leon said slowly, still confused as to why it had to be him that became a woman.

"You could actually get pregnant with that tree."



"What do you want, teddy bear?" Gwaine grinned at Percival.

"You have beautiful eyes." Percival replied. Arthur and Leon gawped at him, wondering if they'd heard him right. Merlin and Mordred stifled their laughter, trying to pretend they also had no idea what was happening when, in reality, they were the ones that cast the love spell.

"I think I love you. Let's get married."

"I think it's illegal to marry a teddy bear." Gwaine said slowly. "But if the laws change, we can get married immediately."



"Yeah, Gwaine?" Mordred replied slowly, hoping that Gwaine didn't want to sing him any random songs or declare his love for him.

"If you were a milkshake, I bet that you would be an oreo cookie milkshake."


"I bet Merlin's a sorcerer."

"What?" Merlin said loudly, shocked at what had come out of Gwaine's mouth. He was about to object and go crazy when Arthur interrupted.

"Merlin? Are you hee-haw insane- wait, hee-haw stupid question."

"You sound funny." Gwaine giggled.

"That was close." Merlin said slowly to Mordred who nodded his head in agreement, his eyes wide.


"Leon and that tree sitting in a tree, making B-A-B-I-E-S!"

"GWAINE!" Leon gasped, horrified that Gwaine would sing such a thing. "Me being a woman isn't funny. And I do not want a romantic relationship with that tree, thank you."

"Are you full of yourself because you're immortal?! Don't worry tree, you're too good for him. You'll find someone better and make him jealous."


"Can I just hee-haw shoot him?" Arthur muttered, looking for his crossbow so he could murder Gwaine who was driving him insane. His donkey ears made his hearing more sensitive and he didn't appreciate being able to hear Gwaine's singing and nonsense in higher quality.

"You cannot hurt my darling!" Percival shouted, spreading his arms out and standing before Gwaine.

"Thank you, teddy bear." Gwaine grinned, hugging Percival and then rolling along the floor to do something else.


"I want some cheese. More than that, I want cheese that tastes like apple pie." Gwaine grinned, talking to his boot that he'd taken from his foot.

"Your feet smell awful!" Leon muttered, turning up his nose to the foul stench.

"Why are your feet so hairy?" Arthur exclaimed, frowning at the ridiculous amount of hair on Gwaine's feet.

"I'm growing it out."


"Know what would be funny?" Mordred chuckled in Merlin's head. "Making Gwaine, or maybe one of the other knights bald. Or changing their hair colour. Or maybe giving them extra long hair."

"What a brilliant idea, Mordred." Merlin beamed.


"Arthur!" Leon said loudly, wondering what was happening to his king. Arthur turned around slowly, hoping that something horrible hadn't happened to him. Regardless, he thought nothing could be worse than being half donkey.


"Your ears. The fur on them has turned purple and your hair. Your hair is turning green and growing... shorter, it seems."

Arthur had been wrong; what was currently happening was so much more worse than being half donkey.


"Strength, courage and magic. Who was magic?" Gwaine suddenly bursted out, and Merlin's heart skipped a beat.

"Who was strength?" Arthur laughed; he knew it couldn't be Merlin, and Gwaine didn't really seem completely strong. To him, Gwaine was just a knight who was good at fighting, getting himself into trouble and drinking.

"Pixies. They don't know what they're talking about."

"Neither do hee-haw you."


"Are you an oreo cookie milkshake, Mordred?"


"Shame. I really could do with a drink."


"I don't want to be a woman." Leon said sadly for the tenth time in the past ten minutes.

"I get hee-haw it." Arthur said through gritted teeth, though he wasn't really one to talk; he'd been complaining more about being half-donkey and he'd done it more since his hair had changed colour.


"You're glowing, Leon!"

"Shut up, Gwaine."

"No, literally, you look like a headlight." Percival chipped in.

"Don't you join in. Stop defending your 'love.'"

"They're hee-haw being serious. Your hair is bright red and hee-haw glowing."

"Great. Just great."

"This is so much fun." Merlin giggled.


"You know what's hee-haw funny, Merlin?"

"You're a donkey."

"No." Arthur scowled at his manservant. "That nothing bad has happened to you."

"It has!"

"Like what?"

"I got stuck in here with you lot."

"Idiot. I meant, since we were in here."

"And nothing has also happened to Mordred or Percival or Gwaine. Just because you're a prat, doesn't mean you can blame others for random things. You and Leon are just... unluckly."


"That's my word."

"And it suits you perfectly."


"I wish it would start raining apple pie cheese."

"That will never happen, Gwaine."


I hope you liked it c:
Hopefully, I'll have time to write another chapter sometime soon :D