Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor do I own anything from the show. Although, this episode made me wish that I did. I just have crazy ideas. So shoot me if I wanna write them down!
Side Note: Since writing Merry Christmas, Madam Mayor, I decided to make that AU into a small series. So, this is part of that AU and I'll be adding more stories from time to time. Thank you, butyouveneverbeeninlove, for letting me run with this idea. You're fantastic! 3
Emma Swan had been Regina Mills', the Mayor of Storybrooke, go-to girl for nearly two years. While it wasn't the best job the blonde had ever landed, it was actually the most entertaining. There were days, of course, that were just absolutely horrible. The Mayor wasn't exactly the most pleasant person to work for, or be around, and the entire town would consent to such a statement. Emma had tried countless times to move the Mayor out of her 'no stepping outside the rules' attitude, but to no avail. The woman just didn't know how to have fun. However, Emma never stopped trying. Sooner or later she'd crack that rigid wall Regina had built up.
That wasn't to say that the blonde hadn't ruffled the brunette's feathers a time or two. Emma was, in fact, the only person in the entire town able to make the Mayor stumble out of her usual pristine façade. The blonde had perfected her ways of what to say and when to say it just to get the exact reactions she wanted from Regina. Those reactions pretty much made her job worth the hassle. Today, though, was a day that Emma wanted to crawl in a hole and pull it in after her. Regina was at her bitchiest and Emma wanted to punch (maybe even possibly kiss, not that she would ever admit it) the pissy look off of her face. But instead of doing what she wanted, Emma gritted her teeth and did the job she had been hired to do.
As Emma retreated from her desk to put on her Winter jacket (Winter time in Storybrooke could be a real pain), Regina stood in the doorway of her office and continued to berate Emma with instructions on what do to. The blonde rolled her eyes every now and then, wishing she could block out the sound of Regina's voice.
"Please be careful with my clothes, Ms. Swan. I don't want to have to pay to get them cleaned twice. And keep the clothes in the plastic bags, just as they give them to you. Wrinkles are absolutely intolerable, so don't crumple them either. And please refrain from getting anything on the clothes or the bags either. Be as careful with as poss…"
Regina was quickly cut off as Emma approached the brunette, effectively silencing the infuriating woman by placing her finger on the Mayor's lips. The older woman was taken by surprise, her wide, brown eyes quickly betraying that fact. However, when she realized Emma had her finger on her lips, the surprised look was quickly replaced with anger. Regina took a step back, but just as she opened her mouth to chastise Emma, the blonde beat her to the punch.
"No offense, Madam Mayor, but a monkey could do this job. And besides, I've been doing this for too long now, so I know exactly what I have to do. You don't have to keep beating my damn ear off every time I go out to do something for you. I realize this is my job and you want me to do it well, but that doesn't mean I need to be verbally smacked around about it every freaking time. So just calm down, Jesus! Don't give yourself a coronary."
While Emma was aware that doing and saying such thing was definitely ballsy, the stunned look on Regina's face pretty much made it all worth it. Emma knew she was secure in her job, too, because no one else wanted to deal Her Royal Terror. So no matter how many times Regina liked to yell that she was fired, Emma knew very well that she would be let back into the office the very next morning.
"I've never seen anyone as rude as rude as you, Ms. Swan. How dare you interrupt me. Not only that, but how dare you place your surely unwashed finger on my lips." Malice dripped from each word Regina spoke, but Emma only rolled her green as eyes as usual.
Quickly, the young blonde turned from Regina and strutted towards the door. She wasn't going to hang around to get yet another lecture from the Royal Highness of Uptight Bitches.
"I'll be back later." Emma threw behind her as she disappeared out the door. "Your Majesty." She whispered just as the door clicked behind her.
Although Emma knew it would be better to just go straight for Regina's dry cleaning, her lack of hot chocolate in the past couple of days was starting to give her a headache. So, instead of going straight for the clothes and back to the office, Emma made a little detour to Granny's. The blonde needed her cinnamon hot chocolate fix, otherwise she'd be acting like Madam Mayor and nobody needed two of those in one small town.
Emma sat quietly in the back corner booth of the diner, amused green eyes watching a few of the Storybrooke citizens going about their day. What amused her most was Granny and Ruby's bickering. The two of them never ceased to make Emma chuckle quietly as she sipped on her favorite drink. Today was no different and Emma found herself reveling in the feel of the small town. Sure, she missed the big city, but this was her new life and she'd grown rather fond of it.
It was a moment later, as Emma cleared the last of her hot chocolate from the cup, that Ruby tore herself away from Granny to stop by Emma's table.
"You want another one, Emma?" Ruby questioned as she leaned to see that Emma had, in fact, drained her second hot chocolate.
Emma smiled fondly up and Ruby and then glanced up at the clock. The smile on her face disappeared as she realized what time it was.
"No thanks, Rubes. I have to go get Regina's dry cleaning and get back to the office. Otherwise she'll have conniption number two." A long sigh escaped the blonde's lips as she pushed herself out of the booth and onto her feet.
Ruby laughed, shaking her head at Emma. "I don't know how you put up with her. She's terrifying."
Emma actually chuckled at that as she slipped her jacket back on. "It's not so much that she's terrifying. It's just the constant nagging that's practically unbearable." Emma gave it a moment before she threw Ruby another smile. "Anyways, back to work for the Majesty. See you later." With a quick wave, Emma made her way out of the warm diner and into the cold Maine air.
Emma wasn't sure exactly what she had been expecting when retrieving Regina's clean clothes. Power suits, sure. Dresses, sure. However, when Emma was handed an entire stack of silk and lace panties in a vacuum packed bag, the blonde's jaw had nearly dropped to the floor. She had stood and stared at the for a moment before realizing the lady running the dry cleaners was talking to her. Emma averted her eyes as quickly as possible, giving the woman the best 'I wasn't just looking at my bosses panties' smile she could muster and paid the kind lady. Thankfully Emma got out without being questioned for gawking, but her face turned red as soon as she walked out of the door.
"Who knew Regina wore such hot panties." Emma muttered to herself as she stuff Regina's clothes and herself into her old yellow Bug.
As the clothes lay in her passenger seat, Emma stole another glance at them as she pulled her car onto the road. This time her surprised green eyes went a little wider.
"Holy shit! Is that a thong?" She yelled, swerving the car a little as she bent to get a closer look.
Emma blinked a few times, even rubbed at her eyes a little, to make sure she was seeing it right. Sure enough, right on top of the freshly pressed power suits, along with all the other panties, was a ruby red thong. Emma shook her head and had to let out a chuckle. She had always imagined Regina wore granny panties, was even sure she wore them. Sure, the Mayor was one hell of a good looking woman, but she was so uptight that Emma was positive she wouldn't wear anything that resembled what was sitting in the seat of her car. A smirk spread across pale lips as Emma continued on towards the office. There was no way she was going to let Regina live this down.
As Emma waltzed into the office with a shit eating grin, Regina appeared from around her door and glared evilly from the doorway.
"Did you get lost along the way, Ms. Swan? Are your directional skills that poor?" Every one of Regina's words oozed aggravation, but Emma just raised an eyebrow.
"Don't get your panties in a wad, Madam Mayor." Emma responded, putting a bit of emphasis on the word panties.
Regina's eyes narrowed just a tad bit more, wondering why Emma would put emphasis on that particular word, but let it pass before lifting her own immaculate eyebrow.
"My dry cleaning, Ms. Swan? I do hope you at least did that right."
"It's all been collected and placed into your closet at home, just as you so politely requested." Emma replied sarcastically, blinking only once as she crossed her arms over her chest.
With a completely deadpan look on her face, Regina clapped her hands together and retorted, "Wow. You actually managed to do something right. I'm impressed." Her tone was completely monotone, no emotion shining through at all until then end when her brown eyes rolled once.
Normally Regina's bitchy comment would have bothered her, but a picture of the older woman's panties entered her mind and the only thing she could muster was a large smirk. Eventually, Emma turned to make her way back to her desk, but she couldn't leave the Mayor behind without a comment.
"Yes, I did actually do something right…." The blonde gave a pause before stopping and turning her head slightly toward the brunette, giving her only a peak of her smile. "Nice panties, by the way. Didn't know you had it in you to wear such a… minimal amount of clothing." Emma threw a wink behind her before turning back and making her way fully to her desk.
Emma didn't miss the surprised look on Regina's face as she left her behind and she wondered if Madam Mayor would be letting her retrieve her dry cleaning ever again.