Author's notes #1: Sorry to keep you all waiting. The latest chapter of The Best Wishes of Haruhi Suzumiya won't be there until the subs for the 101th episode of the Best Wishes series ever comes out.
This one-shot takes place in an AU version of the beginning of Chapter 22 of The Best Wishes of Haruhi Suzumiya. Enjoy!
The Best Wishes of Haruhi Suzumiya: The Christmas One-shot Special
It was one winter morning in Fami's house.
"What? The Unova League has been delayed again?"
"Yes, Ash," replied Fami, "And according to Cynthia, the winter season has already started, and because of that, the Pokemon League won't start until the snowfall passes by."
Cilan said to the frowning Ash, "On the bright side, you can still think of good battling strategies while you wait."
"And when the Unova League is about to start, you can win it!" exclaimed Iris.
Fami noticed herself, Ash, Iris, Haruhi, Mikuru, Kyon, Itsuki, Brendan, and Cilan all shivering due to the cold air outside. It was only Yuki who seemed not to be affected.
Ash exclaimed, "I was frozen today!"
"You're not even freezing in ice. What a kid," replied Iris, annoying Ash.
"Looks like I forgot to turn on the heater," said Fami, turning on the heater's knob.
Haruhi mumbled, "I'm so bored. If only there was something interesting, maybe perhaps a simple mystery like the one in the remote island that we visited."
Kyon thought, "If Haruhi was wishing for something interesting, like perhaps a simple mystery, I'm expecting yet another dose of closed space. And also, I'm guessing something will happen next."
Suddenly, there was a blast from the main door. It was Ibuki.
"What is it, Ibuki?" asked Ash.
"The boxes of uncooked stir-fried noodles that we were supposed to prepare for today were missing!"
"That can't be!" Fami exclaimed.
Kyon asked Ibuki, "Did it take place last night?"
"Well, yes Kyon, you are correct about the fact that it took place last night. We started stowing away the boxes of uncooked stir-fried noodles back to their sheds. But when we came back the next day, they were all gone."
"That can't be good," concluded Haruhi, "Did it take place in the noodle shop?"
"Then that means we should investigate there. But before that, we need to ask and look for some clothing that will keep ourselves warm," said Cilan.
"Kyon, this could be a simple mystery! Let's go!" Haruhi exclaimed, dragging Kyon along.
When Haruhi, Kyon, Itsuki, Ash, Iris, Brendan, Cilan, Mikuru, Yuki, and Ibuki arrived inside the noodle shop after breakfast, they spotted Souichiro and Kaneda on the counter.
"Guys, we have lost even more boxes of uncooked stir-fried noodles," said Kaneda.
Angered, Fami exclaimed, "The suspects behind this will have to confess and admit for their wrongdoing!"
"Fami, we haven't asked for any clues just yet," Kyon said.
"Apprivoise! Dazzling the stage! Detective Connoisseur Cilan!" Cilan exclaimed, pulling out a detective's cap and a magnifying glass.
Kyon mumbled, "Does Cilan need to quote a mantra like this?"
However, Haruhi moderately slammed him away in the shoulder and added, "Don't forget me too, for it is I, Madame Haruhi, teaming up with the Detective Connoisseur Cilan to investigate in order to solve this mystery once and for all!"
That was when she brought out her red armband again, dressed up as Sherlock Shellingford.
"You're helping out too by investigating?" Cilan asked Haruhi, "Now that's what I call the true spirit of partnership."
When Cilan and Haruhi both cracked a booming laugh, Kyon and Iris were both exasperated, mumbling, "Those two better get a pat in the back a bit harder if they do. And where did Haruhi get that costume she was wearing?"
Cilan asked Kaneda, "Who was in charge of the boxes last night?"
"It was Souichiro who was taking care of them."
Ash, Haruhi, Kyon, Iris, and Cilan went along with Souichiro to the storage room. The latter explained, "You see, last night, when we were about to close the shop, I was stacking up all those boxes in the storage room next to the kitchen. The next morning, I went back, only to find out that some of the boxes were missing."
Haruhi asked, "Do you lock the door to the storage room?"
"Well, yes," replied Souichiro, opening the door to the storage room.
"But how come the door has already been unlocked?" asked Kyon.
"Before I came to know that the boxes were missing, I unlocked the door with the keys."
The six went inside the storage room, noticing that there were only a few boxes inside.
"I have no idea why did they just disappear," said Ibuki, "It's not that some Pokemon could be teleporting them away to a random location, is it?"
Iris pointed at an opened air vent on top of the wall and said, "Did someone possibly make an entrance from those vents above?"
Haruhi said, doing a thinking pose, "Probably so. In fact, it's just like in typical spy films where spies make their sneaky entrance from air vents similar to those."
Kyon thought, "Now that's Haruhi again, having a correct spin of ideas into the right situation."
Cilan asked, "Do all of the boxes that were still here and the ones that were missing share the same tag?"
"Yes, every single one of the boxes have been marked with the tag 'Stir-fried Noodles'. That's right, this shop doesn't serve just ramen. We also serve stir-fried noodles as well."
Brendan said, "The size of those boxes remind me of that certain video game involving people who hide in cardboard boxes."
"Then that means we are one step to finishing the investigation," said Haruhi, "The only things missing are where the suspects are and where they have put the missing boxes."
Souichiro replied, "That's what worries me. I obviously don't have a clue who the suspects really are and I have no idea where they really are right now."
Kyon said, "If they managed to enter from the vent, they probably came from the outside. It was an air conditioning vent, right?"
Outside, Haruhi, Ash, Kyon, Iris, Cilan, Fami, Itsuki, Brendan, Mikuru, Yuki, and Ibuki all spotted an opened vent connecting to the air conditioner.
"So that's where the culprit came in," concluded Fami, "No wonder the noodle shop isn't well secured, and because of that, the culprit has managed to enter from here."
Haruhi noticed multiple sets of footprints on the snow that came from the opened vent and added, "And it's also obvious we've got these sets of footprints as another clue. Besides, it's just like in one of those detective stories where footprints are the typical clues in order to solve mysteries."
Cilan said, "I'm assuming that there could be more than one suspect."
"But why, Cilan?" asked Ash.
"As you can see, there are three sets of footprints that leads away from the vent, which means, there were three suspects who stole the boxes. Elementary."
Ash asked, "But why did they also make footprints when they sneaked in in the first place? Well, it's not that they wouldn't make footprints when they entered, do they?"
Haruhi and Cilan both brought out their magnifying glasses and focused on the footprints as they headed straight for the forest.
"Kyon, let's follow Haruhi and Cilan," said Souichiro.
Unfortunately, the footprints have divided, heading for three separate directions.
"Looks like we need to split up," Cilan said.
"I'm going with you, Cilan," said Ash.
"Me too! I'm going with you as well!" Iris exclaimed to Cilan.
Ibuki asked, "Can I go with you, Haruhi?"
"Sure," replied Haruhi, "Kyon, you go with Brendan."
"You go with him, and that's an order!"
Brendan, Fami, Yuki, and Kyon followed the footprints on the left junction. That was Brendan brought out from one of his pockets a collapsible version of a white top hat with a blue ribbon tied on the underbrim, much to Kyon's astonishment.
"Where did he get that?" thought Kyon, "Wasn't that the same top hat that Kaitou Kid was wearing?"
"Even though I can't put on the costume at a time like this, I can still be able to wear the white top hat," explained Brendan.
"Can you go on and proceed?" Kyon asked, complaining.
"Yeah. Sorry about that."
Brendan then continued to follow the footprints as Fami and Kyon both followed him. However, a fallen thick tree blocked their way.
"I don't think we can be able to climb up that tree, can we?" asked Kyon.
"I have an idea," Fami replied, "Lickilicky, use Cut!"
Lickilicky's left thumb glowed white as it slashed the fallen tree into pieces.
"Once again, Lickilicky has cut a rather worthless object," quoted Fami.
Kyon complained, "Is there really anything that's meaningful when a Pokemon cuts a single tree using a move?"
"There are Pokemon moves that are also used for mundane purposes, just like Cut," Fami said, "In fact, there are moves that can even take you anywhere!"
"Shall we proceed with the footprints? There are a lot more," said Brendan.
On the other hand, Ash, Iris, Mikuru, and Cilan were on another trail, looking for another set of footprints coming from the junction.
"Are we there yet?" Ash complained, his tummy rumbling.
"We get there when we get there!" Iris yelled.
Cilan attempted to calm the intimidated Mikuru.
"Now, now, Mikuru. Don't be scared. Besides, we're also with you."
The quartet ended up meeting up with Haruhi, Ibuki, and Itsuki, as they hit crossroads with each other.
"It's Haruhi again," said Ash.
"I wonder where's Kyon and the others," Haruhi thought.
"I don't know," replied Iris, "They're probably lost by now."
"It appears that the footprints have ended up again in the same direction," Cilan theorized, "I'll bet the culprits have noticed that they've been making those footprints all along, which is why they decided to separate. They eventually met again without realizing that they're still making those footprints."
Iris said, "But they would have trampled away the footprints if they knew that they were making those."
"Good point, Iris."
The six then continued to follow the footprints. That was when they met up with Kyon, Brendan, Yuki, and Fami in a junction, also following the footprints.
"It's Kyon and Brendan!" Iris exclaimed.
Brendan said, "I guess Ash and Haruhi have met again."
The nine continued following the footprints until they noticed an abandoned factory building in front of them.
"So the footprints lead all the way to this abandoned building?" asked Kyon, "Haruhi and Cilan, are you both sure that this is the place?"
"The footprints have led all the way here, so it's obvious," replied Haruhi.
"Because there were three sets of footprints, it is obviously clear that the missing noodles could be done by the work of three," added Cilan, "I'll say it's raid time."
Inside the abandoned factory, three boys in purple Chinese attire were spending some dinner on a table chowing down on the stir-fried noodles that they stole.
"You know what, Kim, these stir-fried noodles sure taste real good!" exclaimed the tall one.
The short one replied, "That's right. Our plan to steal those boxes of uncooked stir-fried noodles that we have right now is all just as planned. In fact, the noodle shop's employees are probably ranting by now about them going missing."
"Here's a good question," replied the fat one, "What are we going to do with all those boxes of uncooked stir-fried noodles anyways?"
"Because we haven't eaten for days, we will look to these boxes and consider those noodles for our lifetime supply of food. At the same time, we need to warm up for the winter."
In the midst of the conversation, the nine hid themselves into a wall outside the factory building.
Cilan whispered to Ash, Iris, Kyon, Itsuki, Fami, and Ibuki, "Remember that I'm a Detective Connoisseur, so it's best to be quiet until we start raiding the factory."
Haruhi whispered back to Cilan, "Kyon, I don't want you to blow our cover. If you do, you're getting a penalty."
The conversation of the three boys in purple Chinese attire continued.
". . . . . . . and because of that, we'll continue the operations once again tomorro-"
Using a certainly familiar watch, Brendan stunned the tall one, causing him to fall out from his chair.
Kim was puzzled.
"Who did that to Kail?"
"Freeze!" Brendan exclaimed, surprising the trio.
"Is Brendan trying to blow our cover? It's not that he would channel Leeroy Jenkins, would he?" asked Kyon.
Cilan replied, "That is part of our raid, so it's best to stay hidden until Haruhi makes a signal."
Brendan continued his speech.
"If you three are up to no good, stop this right now."
"Well, well, well, looks like we have a guest who has just managed to guess the fact that we were on an operation to steal boxes of uncooked stir-fried noodles," said the thin one.
Ash ran off, causing Iris to reply, "Ash, wait up! You're not supposed to blow our cover!"
Because of that, Haruhi and the others were forced to catch up to him.
Ash showed up beside Brendan inside the factory, causing the brothers to catch his attention.
Kai said, "It also happens that we have a very familiar guest."
Ash yelled, "This has gone too far, so stop this right now!"
"I'm afraid we can't do that. Besides, these boxes of noodles are now our source of our winter supply of food, ya know," replied Kim, "And oh, where's Misty and Brock?"
"They're not travelling with me," replied Ash.
"What makes the three of you think that stealing those boxes are good for you?" Fami asked the three, noticing the stolen boxes behind them.
Kim replied, "For starters, from what I explained earlier, we stole those boxes so that we can get ourselves some stir-fried noodles to eat for the winter."
Kyon showed up and said, "I don't even know the three of you."
Overhearing Kyon's words, Kim responded, "In that case, allow us to introduce ourselves! I'm Kim!"
"Pleasure to meet ya! I'm Kail!"
"And I'm Kai!"
"Once again, we are best known throughout the world as the Invincible Pokemon Brothers!"
Kyon mumbled, "Invincible Pokemon Brothers?"
Ash explained, "The Invincible Pokemon Brothers are a trio of brothers who love to use dirty tactics everytime they battle."
"But how did you know all about them, Ash?" asked Iris.
"That's a long story," replied Ash.
"You explained correctly our former modus operandi," replied Kim, "However, even though we still kept our ways, the only thing that has changed ever since the last time we met in Johto is that we no longer rely on dirty tactics just to win."
Iris asked Ash, "You met them in Johto?"
"Well, yeah," Ash answered.
"Maybe you're not such a little kid after all," concluded the exasperated Iris.
Kim added, "But that's not all, because we've got even new Pokemon as well!"
Kim, Kail and Kai summoned a Toxicroak, a Sawk, and a Throh, respectively.
Haruhi exclaimed, "I'm challenging you three to a battle!"
"I'm battling with you, Haruhi," said Ash.
"Me too," added Fami.
She looked at Brendan and asked, "Can I borrow one of your Pokemon for a sec?"
Brendan gave Haruhi a Poke Ball.
"Pikachu, I choose you!"
"You too, Espeon!"
"Let's go, Weavile!"
Ash, Fami, and Haruhi summoned Pikachu, Espeon, and Weavile, respectively. When Weavile was sent out, it was revealed to be of an alternate coloration.
Ash remarked, "It's a shiny Weavile!"
Kyon thought, "I wonder if shiny Pokemon can make a difference between normally colored Pokemon."
Iris, Cilan, Kyon, Itsuki, Ibuki, and Brendan all stood back.
Kim said, "Haruhi, you go first."
Ash whispered to Haruhi, "Be careful. He might be using dirty tricks at us again."
"I'm fine with that," replied Haruhi, "Alright, Weavile, use Night Slash on Toxicroak!"
"Toxicroak, use Sucker Punch!"
Toxicroak was imbued in black for a moment. It then rammed Weavile quickly before it could prepare to use Night Slash.
Weavile was then knocked away.
"No fair!" Haruhi exclaimed.
"What can you say about that? We're all vying to win fair and square, and you know it!" Kim replied.
"You're just cheating!" Ash exclaimed.
Kim replied, "No, I'm not! Toxicroak just used a move called Sucker Punch, enabling it to attack first before the opponent could prepare an attack. Now that's what I call a dirty trick."
Ash gritted his teeth.
"Quick, Pikachu. Use Quick Attack on Throh!"
"Throh, dodge, then use Seismic Toss!"
Kai's Throh dodged Pikachu's Quick Attack. It then grabbed Pikachu, jumping along with it into the air.
"Pikachu, use Thunderbolt!"
Throh was hit by Thunderbolt, freeing Pikachu.
On the other hand, Fami and Kail were battling with each other.
"Espeon, use Quick Attack!"
Espeon struck first, hitting Sawk.
"Sawk, use Counter!"
"That can't be good," thought Fami.
Whilst getting hit by Quick Attack, Sawk was imbued in red, bouncing away Espeon's attack.
"Weavile, use Night Slash one more time on Toxicroak!"
Toxicroak blocked Night Slash with Protect.
"Espeon, use Psyshock on Sawk!"
Espeon fired three purple, blue and light blue masses, hitting Sawk.
"Sawk, get up!" Kail exclaimed.
"Quick, Pikachu. Use Iron Tail on Throh!"
Throh blocked Pikachu's Iron Tail. However, the former was suddenly paralyzed.
Ash exclaimed, "Alright, Throh got paralyzed by Static!"
Kai replied, "You haven't seen anything just yet."
The paralysis caused by Pikachu's Static ability only triggered Throh's Guts as the latter's eyes glowed red, imbuing itself in a crimson aura, increasing its physical strength.
"What's going on?" Ash and Kyon both wondered.
Kai replied, "It's Throh's Guts. Whenever it gets burned, poisoned, or paralyzed, it gains more physical attack power."
"Pikachu can still win no matter what," said Ash, "Pikachu use Iron Tail again on Throh!"
"Weavile, use Shadow Claw on Toxicroak!"
"Espeon, Quick Attack on Sawk. Let's go!"
"Throh, block Iron Tail and use Seismic Toss, let's go!"
Throh blocked Pikachu's Iron Tail, grabbing it by the tail. It then jumped along with Pikachu up in the air, sending it down to the ground crashing.
"Weavile's not going anywhere! Toxicroak, dodge, then use Sucker Punch!"
On the other hand, Weavile took a hit for the worse as Toxicroak struck first again with Sucker Punch, knocking Weavile away, much to Haruhi's frustration.
"Use Close Combat, go!"
Espeon took multiple hits from Sawk's Close Combat, knocking it away as well.
"Espeon, don't give up just yet!"
Kim taunted, "You three just can't win. Besides our new Pokemon are invincible, just like us!"
The brothers cracked an evil laugh, much to the frustration of Haruhi, Ash, and Fami.
"We're not gonna give up just yet," said Fami, "Espeon, use Shadow Ball on Throh!"
"Throh, intercept with Stone Edge, now!"
Throh's Stone Edge divided the Shadow Ball in half, creating an explosion.
Three masses of purple, light blue, and blue cleared the smoke. It hit, causing Throh to be sent flying down to its Trainer, already knocked out.
"Weavile, use Swords Dance!"
"Weavile will still fall for this next attack," said Kim, "Toxicroak, use Sucker Punch on Weavile!"
Toxicroak attempted to use Sucker Punch, but it failed, since Weavile wasn't attacking it.
"That's impossible!" Kim exclaimed.
Haruhi replied confidently, "Now that's what I'm talking about. Weavile, use Swords Dance again!"
"Toxicroak, use Poison Jab!"
Weavile avoided Poison Jab.
"Now use Aerial Ace!"
"Counter with Sucker Punch!"
Toxicroak struck once again with Sucker Punch. However, at the last minute, Weavile retaliated with an Aerial Ace, sending Toxicroak flying back to its Trainer, already knocked out.
"Pikachu, use Thunderbolt on Sawk!"
"Sawk, keep your distance!"
Sawk cleared itself away from Thunderbolt.
"Use Close Combat!"
Pikachu took a lot of hits from Sawk's Close Combat. However, Static activated again, causing Sawk to get paralyzed this time.
"That can't be!" Kail exclaimed, "Sawk, use Close Combat!"
"Time to finish this. Use Electro Ball!"
The paralyzed Sawk was left to inflict damage from Pikachu's Electro Ball, causing it to be sent flying back to its Trainer, already knocked out as well.
"Looks like we're going now, bye!" said Kim as he, Kail, and Kai recalled their Pokemon back, attempting to make their escape from the factory.
However, Yukito, Souichiro, Laura, Ichika, Charlotte, Misuzu, Kaneda, Tetsuo, and Athrun showed up on a pickup truck from outside, preventing the brothers from making their retreat.
"Alright! We give up!" the three brothers yelled.
"Galvantula, use Spider Web!"
Laura sent out a Galvantula. It then proceeded to spit out a large spiderweb, ensnaring Kim, Kail, and Kai in it.
"Now use String Shot!"
Galvantula shot three strings, tying them up.
Fami, Ash, and Yukito approached the three, now tied up, and ensnared in a spiderweb, all saying, "You three better be ashamed of yourselves."
Iris added, "Not to mention, your plans to steal boxes of stir-fried noodle and claim it for yourselves are tailor-made for little kids."
The brothers ranted about the String Shot also covering their mouths.
Haruhi said, "You three can have some of the boxes, that is, until you stop stealing anything."
Cilan added, "I now say that this case is closed. It's victory time!"
Mikuru said, "So the missing boxes that were being talked about are right here, all safe and sound."
"And that was that. It's good to know that it was just a very simple mystery," thought Kyon, "And speaking of simple mystery, did Haruhi do this?"
It was evening back in the noodle shop when the group placed the unopened boxes of uncooked stir-fried noodles back to the storage room.
After putting the last box back in the storage room, Fami sighed and said, "I guess this is the last one."
Haruhi suggested, "Because the winter season reminds me of Christmas, perhaps we should set up a party."
"That's a good idea," replied Fami.
Yukito exclaimed, "Here we go! Let's party!"
The group set up a closed dinner party in the noodle shop, as Fami and the rest of the anime club prepared and served the stir-fried noodles on a wide table.
When Ash took a bite of the stir-fried noodles, he exclaimed, "These noodles taste good for sure!"
Cilan remarked, "These are of a good flavor, perfectly rated for five stars."
Haruhi added, "Kyon, the noodles are delicious, isn't it?"
"Well, yeah," replied Kyon.
He then looked at Yuki and asked her, "Do you want to eat? They're delicious."
"I'm already done."
Kyon thought, "How do humanoid interfaces like Miss Nagato feed themselves?"
Later on, the gift giving took place as some of the members of the anime club exchanged gifts with Ash, Haruhi and their friends.
He thought, looking at Haruhi's cheerful face, "She isn't bored anymore. It's good to know that there weren't any signs of closed space just yet."
Yukito approached Kyon and said, "Here. I give this gift to you as an offering."
"Thanks. But did all of you prepare those gifts beforehand?"
"You see, we all know that winter is fast approaching, and because of that, we kept that in mind about the gift giving."
Kyon said to Haruhi, "I'll go look for a place to pee."
The latter replied, "Be back right away!"
Kyon went outside, only to notice a silhouette of a certain someone soaring up high on the moon, riding on a sleigh pulled by several Sawsbuck.
"Is that . . . . . . . . Santa? I thought he wasn't real, was he?"
The simple case of the missing boxes of stir-fried noodles has been solved. The journey continues as Ash, Brendan, Iris, Cilan, Haruhi, Mikuru, Itsuki, Kyon, and Yuki all look forward to the future . . . . . .
References in the one-shot:
* Tantei Opera Milky Holmes cosplay, courtesy of Haruhi.
* To the 1991 film Suburban Commando when Ash quotes the lines "I was frozen today!".
* Star Driver. Cilan channels Takuto Tsunashi when he brings out his detective gear. It also references the fact that Cilan and Takuto are both voiced by the same Japanese voice actor.
* Brendan mentions that the size of the boxes reminded him of a certain video game that involves people hiding in a cardboard box. The said video game is obviously Metal Gear Solid.
* Detective Conan and Magic Kaito.
* After commanding Lickilicky to use Cut on a thin tree, Fami makes a Lupin III reference by quoting a line similar to the one quoted by Goemon Ishikawa XIII.
* This quote is a subtle reference to The Incredibles. "Are we there yet?" "We get there when we get there!"
* Sengoku Basara. Apparently, Yukito channels Date Masamune at one point.
Author's note #2:
Remember the Invincible Pokemon Brothers? That's right, the trio has made an appearance in one episode of the Johto saga as well as in the Pokemon Chronicles special episode Cerulean Blues.
And oh, one fact. At the end of the one-shot, there is an internal reference to the narration at the beginning of the first episode of Haruhi as well as the prologue of the first light novel. Guess what happens when he mentions about Santa Claus not being real at all?