Just a quick story! I don't own Teen Titans nor any of the usual stories!
I apologize in advance if I offend anyone! I hope you enjoy it anyway!
A H.I.V.E. Christmas Tale
Jinx could hardly believe that this was happening. Honestly, if anyone were to guess what was going on at a school for criminals in the making, this would be the last thing on the list. At least, it would be the last thing she would ever guess. Annoyed, she turned back to the teacher in charge of this ridiculous idea. "Tell me again why we're doing this?" she asked sarcastically.
This teacher who was apparently immune to sarcasm only looked at her and smiled. "It's a welcoming gift to the new headmaster. He'll be taking charge starting next week and we need to help him feel at home!" she chirped.
Jinx's mouth twisted further into distaste. Once again she failed to see how this dumb idea would make the headmaster feel at home. It was just so…wrong. But when she (bluntly) pointed this out for the tenth time, the teacher only waved her off, saying, "It was what the student body voted on."
She does realize this school is full of half-witted delinquents, right? she thought. It was probably voted on as a joke! Taking in a deep breath, she let out a frustrated sigh. Oh well, there was nothing she could do about it now. They'd all been working on this project for a week and there was no turning back once the costumes arrived. Speaking of costumes, hers had to be the most uncomfortable, unstylish piece of linen she'd ever worn! People actually dressed like this? Looking back at the rest of her "volunteers" most of them didn't' appear to be very happy with the situation either.
Mammoth grumbled grouchily as he fumbled with his headpiece. Billy was currently messing around with his costume(s), making dopey poses in the mirror across from him. The only reason those two were here was because they were failing at least one class and this was the least strenuous way to get extra credit. Off to the side, Angel had just put on the finishing touches to her costume. Out of all of them, Jinx bet she was the only one who actually liked this idea. And somehow Angel had talked Kyd Wykkyd into participating as well. He stood by himself in the corner, completely dressed in his costume looking very uncomfortable and out of place. Jinx couldn't help but snicker. She knew how much he hated these kinds of things, which was why she'd been surprised to hear he would be taking part. Gizmo was sitting in a chair going off on a long tangent of curses. Out of all of them, he was wearing the most ridiculous outfit they'd ever seen. At least he was actually speaking his mind and not just pretending to be happy just to look cool like some people! Jinx turned towards See-More and gave him a dark look. Unfortunately he wasn't wearing his helmet at the moment, keeping him unaware of her stare of death. She still couldn't come up with any logical explanation as to why he had volunteered to help. He had no reason to. His grades were decent unlike some of the others and he'd never shown any interest in this before. And to top it off, he'd been giving her weird looks every time he thought she wasn't looking. She didn't know why but it put her on edge. She'd be sure to keep an eye on him!
Her thoughts were interrupted however when their teacher returned to the room, clapping her hands to get everyone's attention. "Ok everyone, let's make this a Christmas to remember and make the new headmaster proud!" she announced excitedly.
Jinx rolled her eyes. Let's just get this over with, she thought with an inward groan.
All the students remained seated in their seats looking bored as ever. Some had swiped a rubber ball from the gym closet and tossed it around for amusement while others leaned back in their seats already asleep. The teachers had given up trying to stop them a long time ago after realizing how futile their attempts were. Most of all they were just happy that none of them were complaining. They were probably just happy to skip class.
From behind the large red curtains Jinx peered out from behind. The moment she steps out there into the spotlight she could kiss her pride and reputation goodbye! Nobody would ever let her live this down. She gritted her teeth. There had to be something she could do, but what?
"Places everyone!" their teacher called. Pulling her head back in, Jinx nearly jumped when she found the others right behind her.
"Y'all ready fer this?" Billy asked unenthusiastically.
"Blow it out your pie hole," Gizmo spat.
"Come on guys, it's not that bad," Angel attempted to reason.
"At least you're a girl! You guys are supposed to wear dresses!" See-More countered, tugging at his costume.
"This is stupid! I can't believe we have to say this junk!" Mammoth complained, tossing the script over his shoulder.
Jinx, who hadn't spoken at all, suddenly lit up. "You know Mammoth I think you just gave me an idea!"
The others looked at her curiously. "A good one or a bad one?" Billy asked.
Jinx gave them an evil grin. "Bad, very bad!"
"Me three!" the Billys chimed
The others nodded. "Good. Here's the plan…"
"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the first ever H.I.V.E. Academy Christmas play!" the teacher announced proudly. A loud group of 'Boo's followed after. She ignored them and continued. "We've all worked very hard to make this a show to remember as well as welcome our new headmaster, Brother Blood!" This time, a large round of applause followed as said headmaster got to his feet. No need to offend the headmaster on his first week!
After he'd taken his seat, the teacher stepped off to the side as the spotlight shined on the large curtain. "I present to you a familiar tale. The story of the birth of the son of God! A long time ago, far, far away, the Virgin Mary and Joseph made their way to the little town of Bethlehem for the census. They were forced to travel many miles to the town."
The curtain opened to reveal a desert backdrop of browns and orange of various shades. Off to the side of the stage two people emerged. Mammoth dressed as Joseph walked forward leading what appeared to be a stuffed donkey. Atop the donkey sat Jinx, her hair draping across her shoulders instead of in her usual devil horn style. The veil she wore kept it matted. A round of giggles echoed throughout the room at the sight of them. From behind her veil, Jinx scowled.
"Are we there yet?!" she said angrily. The audience's laughs grew louder.
"Keep your veil on, we'll be there in a little bit!" Mammoth shot back.
Meanwhile, their teacher's eyes widened in disbelief. That wasn't what they were supposed to say. It wasn't in the script at all!
"If you don't hurry up I'm going to give birth right here on this donkey, and tell our lord it was all your fault!" she screeched just as they exited the stage on the opposite side. The audience erupted with laughter after the curtain closed. Their teacher was in full panic mode.
Behind the curtain, See-More pouted. "Humph, why couldn't I be Joseph?" he complained to Kyd Wykkyd as they took their places. Kyd Wykkyd patted his shoulder in comfort.
"Ahem. Once they'd arrived, the couple was denied shelter almost everywhere due to lack of room. After a while of searching, an innkeeper finally gave them shelter in a barn where Mary gave birth to the Son of God. A star shined brightly in the sky marking the spot where the infant lay. Meanwhile farther away, the shepherds tended their flock of sheep. That's when they noticed the star shining high in the sky!" The curtain opened to reveal See-More and Kyd Wykkyd surrounded by a group of stuffed sheep.
"Wow, what is that large star shining up in the sky?" See-More asked, pointing. Without his helmet, his eyesight had diminished so instead of pointing at the fake star they'd constructed, his finger was directed off into the audience…specifically at Wrestling Star. The audience began to giggle at the coincidence. "I mean, look at how big it is! It has to be the size if a whale! It must have a tail ten times the size of a kite!" The audience laughed again all except for Wrestling Star who crossed his arms in annoyance.
See-More continued. "Maybe it's a spaceship! They've finally come to take you home!" he cried happily, throwing an arm around Kyd Wykkyd whose face was in his hands, gaining more laughter. He really hated being the center of attention.
"This means your shepherd days are over my friend! Let's follow it! I bet they'll be happy to see you! Onward!" With that, See-More turned, his shepherd staff whipping around his back and colliding with Wykkyd's face. Another roar of laughter. Picking up his own staff, Wykkyd dashed over to him, grabbing his shoulders and turning him in the right direction a second before he stepped off stage. They exited.
The teacher continued her narration, struggling to keep the shake out of her voice with little success. "T-the shepherds were not the only ones to see the star. F-from far away the three wise men who traveled afar had seen the star and came to deliver gifts to baby Jesus."
The curtain opened. Three Billys stood dressed in vibrant clothing, each carrying a box under their arms. After a second, the first one spoke. "I'm tellin' ya, it was this way! I told ya ta turn left at Albuquerque but no, ya had ta take the first right at that giant rock thingy!"
"Daw, what da you know? You've gotta be the dumbest wise man I've ever spoke to!"
"Shut yer yappers both of ya! It's this way!" the third Billy yelled. "I'm the one with the map!" he held up a white sheet of paper with a star on it and an arrow written in pencil! "I'm purtty shore it said turn right at the next exit! That'a way!" he pointed.
The three walked on in that direction towards the other side all the while chatting amongst themselves. "So, what ya get fer the baby Jeezus?"
"I got him a barrel of mirth!"
"What is that?"
"Duuuuuhh, ya got me there!"
By this time the teacher was close to pulling her hair out! All this ad-libbing was driving her crazy! However, the same couldn't be said for the audience. While most of the students had planned on taking a nap during the play or messing around, instead they found themselves laughing their heads off. This new turn of events had everyone surprised. Even the faculty had started laughing along. The new headmaster hadn't spoken a word. He simply sat in his seat, an amused grin plastered on his face.
Either way, it was time for the final scene. Shuddering, the teacher held the microphone to her mouth and prepared for the worst. "And so when they found him, the Son of God lay away in a manger since there was no crib for him to sleep. They all found him with Mary and Joseph at his side the star shining brightly above him, the angels singing their songs of celebration," she said, her voice full of resignation. Taking a step to the side, the curtain opened. Taking center stage behind a dark bluish-black backdrop was the frame of a barn filled with hay where Jinx and Mammoth sat peering at the manger in front of them. In it wearing nothing but a sheet around his body and lower areas lay Gizmo with his arms crossed cussing up a storm. Just the sight of him had the audience rolling on the ground and gasping for breath. Jinx could have sworn she saw XL Terrestrial fall out of his seat he was laughing so hard!
"So are you going to feed him or not?" Mammoth asked heatedly.
"Me?! I was the one who had the kid, no thanks to you!" Jinx responded.
"Shut your pie holes and feed me you Kludgeheads! I command you!" Gizmo yelled.
Suddenly up from above, Angel was lowered down on a long rope. Dressed in white with a halo on her head, her wings fluttered softly. While the original plan involved her actually flying down, the wind was too intense and disrupted the set. Thus they'd had to settle for the alternative. The rope stopped right above the barn house, barely suspended above the roof of the structure.
"Hark the Harold angels sing," Angel stated. "Unfortunately, our best singers couldn't make it so you'll have to settle for me. I knew I shouldn't have signed up for that 12:00 timeslot," she said. "So what exactly do we have here?"
"The Son of our Lord is born. And we've got nothing to feed him," Jinx complained.
"And what do you expect me to do about it?"
"Take him back!"
"Not my problem! You're the one who got knocked up Ms. Virgin."
Just then the group was interrupted by a loud thud off stage. A second later, See-More tripped onto stage, falling forward before the audience. "Ugh, stupid dress!" he grumbled. Kyd Wykkyd followed right behind, helping him up.
"Looks like the shepherds have showed up."
"We come in peace!" See-More announced dramatically. "Hey wait, you guys aren't aliens! Aw guess you're here to stay huh buddy?" he said sadly to Kyd Wykkyd.
"Hm, he could always come with me," Angel said slyly. Kyd Wykkyd's face turned bright red at this remark.
"Heh heh, I bet he'd like that very much!" See-More answered a little too enthusiastically, nudging his arm.
But before the conversation could continue three more voices could be heard. Then emerged the three wise men, still bustling amongst themselves until they finally noticed the scene in front of them. "Ya see, I told ya I would get 'cha there. And here y'all didn't trust my map!" one said proudly.
"I never said I dun!"
They strolled over to the group. "We three wise men come ta pay our respects to the sun o' the Lord."
"Please come forward!" They did.
"We brought gold, some smelly stuff, and…uh, what was the last one again?" one Billy asked. The other whispered into his ear. "Oh right! And mirth! Does anyone know what the heck that is?" Everyone else shrugged.
"Alright, just bring them here," Mammoth beckoned.
"Hold on a darn sec! 'For I hand over my gold, ya gotta tell me what makes this kid so special?" he asked skeptically.
"Hand it over Snotbrain!" Gizmo yelled.
"Not a chance half-pint!"
"I said give it here!" Gizmo jumped from the manger and grabbed hold of the box in Billy's hand.
"Settle down junior!" Billy pulled back. Meanwhile the audience had begun cheering and taking bets on who would win the tug-o-war. But as they pulled back and forth, Billy ended up bumping into See-More, still helmet-less, sending him teetering over the side of the stage. Kyd Wykkyd dashed over and attempted to catch him, grabbing hold of the back of his robe. A little too late. See-More's weight sent the two shepherds over the edge of the stage where they fell with a loud bang. Angel couldn't help but wince. In fact, the noise was enough to startle the guy in charge of her rope!
"Whoa!" she cried as she went falling towards the barn. Just in time, she opened her wings and caught herself before she hit the roof. Unfortunately, the wind was enough to pick up the hay on the set, scattering it everywhere and tickling Mammoth's nose!
He let out a loud sneeze, knocking the barn set backwards sending it toppling over onto the group! Just before it could hit, Jinx sent a barrage of hexes, barely stopping the planks of wood from toppling over her. If only the others were as lucky. Thus Jinx found herself standing unscathed in the center of a pile of broken wood and complaining teenagers, and the spotlight shining down on her.
The audience was dead silent. Taking another look at her fellow cast, as well as her passed out teacher, Jinx's lips curled into a smile. Pulling the veil off of her head, she lifted her arms and cried, "Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!"
And so it came to be, that play came to be the most popular play ever to be shown at the H.I.V.E. academy. Rumor has it that the headmaster kept a photo of all the cast members posing at the very end with the stage in disarray, their costumes torn, ice packs in hand, all circled around their unconscious teacher. Chaos personified, as Brother Blood would say.
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, or whatever you're religion, I hope you had a good night and enjoyed this fic! Don't forget to review, just no flames please!