Hey! So, I've had this little plot bunny for some time now. It's just taken me a long time before I felt like it was good, but it still feels a little rushed. However, that is for you all as readers to decide. :)
I've wanted to write Remus/Harry for a while and I hope I did the pairing justice.
There be male/male sex, (though not much), fluff, some angst, the usual. :)
I own nothing. All rights belong to J.K. Rowling and publishers.
Harry threw his head back and groaned as he felt Remus' come spurt inside of him, the sensation just what he needed to reach his own peak, following his lover into bliss.
Remus' arms shook with the effort to hold himself up so that he didn't crush Harry. Harry simply tightened his arms around the older man's shoulders and urged him down just enough for his arms to give out on him. He landed gently on top of Harry, his face burying itself in the crook of Harry's shoulder. Too tired to protest, Remus moved his arms under Harry, holding the younger man as Harry held him.
Harry sighed in content. This was always the best part of making love to Remus; holding him afterwards. Remus always worried that he was too heavy and crushed the smaller man under his weight, but Harry loved it. There was just something so comforting about being nestled under the man that made Harry not care about Remus' weight.
Remus placed soothing kisses on Harry's neck, his breath tickling Harry's skin. The younger man giggled at the sensation even as his hands moved up and down Remus' back and he began to kiss Remus' shoulder, in particularly, the large scar that resided there.
After a while of the gentle kisses and caresses, Harry let Remus roll over, who pulled the younger man into a broad chest littered with soft brown hair and faded scars. Harry softly kissed the scar closest to his mouth and snuggled into the warm skin of Remus' chest.
Remus chuckled and leaned down to kiss the top of Harry's head. "I believe we should get up soon. We do have an Order meeting to host."
Harry sighed in resignation at having to leave their comfortable bed and even more comfortable position. He moved up and kissed Remus' mouth, moaning gently as Remus nibbled his lower lip softly.
Pulling back, he whispered, "Tease."
Remus simply chuckled and shook his head, but there was a mischievous twinkle in his eye. He threw the covers back as Harry rolled away onto his stomach. Harry squeaked as his uncovered arse was smacked.
"Get up, you lazy brat." Remus yelled from the bathroom having moved quickly away from the bed and away from Harry.
"Fine!" Harry yelled back as he removed himself lethargically from the bed. He pulled out a t-shirt and jeans and dressed quickly. He looked at the mirror that sat on the dresser and attempted to fix his hair. He gave up after only a few moments, groaning in despair at his inability to fix the rats' nest atop his head.
Remus came out of the bathroom, laughing at his young lover's reactions. He walked up behind Harry and wrapped his arms around his waist.
"I love you, Harry James Potter-Lupin." He whispered against the soft skin of Harry's neck.
Harry smiled at their reflection, his eyes filled with love. "And I love you, Remus John Lupin." He whispered, turning in his arms and leaning up to kiss the man that he loved dearly.
Remus smiled against his mouth before pulling away. "Come on, let' go have some breakfast before the others arrive." He pulled Harry from the room and they walked hand-in-hand to the kitchen.
Later that morning, the Order was sitting around the dining room table discussing the recent developments with the Ministry and the Death Eater trials. None of them had known how many Death Eaters there truly were, but it was a lot more than what they had all thought. It was the main reason why the Order was still assembled.
Harry was sitting in Remus's lap, his hands over-lapping his love's as they rested over his stomach, the older man's warm arms around Harry's smaller figure. Snape, sitting across from the pair, sneered at the sight of them, but said nothing even though he looked like he wanted to.
Harry resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the man. Instead, he let them slip closed in content. Forgetting about Snape for the moment, Harry tuned out the conversation around him and let his mind wander.
It had been almost three years since he had defeated Voldemort. Three long, tedious years of fan-filled stores and newspaper articles talking of nothing but their perceived version of how he killed the snake-faced man. The only thing that had gotten him through it all was his lover.
Remus had been his lover since the night before the Final Battle. The fear and trepidation of the next day had caused them to come together in what they thought might be their last time seeing each other. While they hadn't actively sought out each other for sex, it had progressed into that as the night had worn on.
Remus had been hurt in the battle; several cutting hexes were cast on him simultaneously from different directions. They had planned it that way, cornering and out-numbering him before trying to take him out. While they had diminished him as a threat on the battle field, they hadn't killed him thanks to his werewolf blood. It had taken him almost 6 months to recover from it.
Harry had been next to him the entire time, visiting him whenever possible and, when Remus was able to leave, taking him home and nursing him back to health. As they got closer, Harry had slowly but surely fallen head over heels in love with the older man, and Remus confessed to feeling the same.
They had been bonded 6 months later, moving into a newly remodeled Grimmauld Place, minus the nasty little house elf, Kreacher, who was all too happy to be set free from 'mudbloods and blood traitors.'
The past three years had all been worth it, however, thanks to the wonderful man that was his husband. Harry let a small smile slip onto his face as he snuggled deeper into Remus' chest, feeling the soft chuckle against his back as well as the gentle kiss to the top of his head.
Harry opened his eyes again and reached for his tea cup, which he realized a second later was empty. He sighed softly, sadly, at the realization that he would have to leave his comfortable position on Remus' lap. Weighing the pros and cons of that in his head, Remus chuckled again, making Harry look back at him.
"Go refill your tea, love. You spot will still be here when you get back, I assure you." Remus said softly, a gentle smile gracing his face.
Harry huffed as his cheeks reddened. Leaning forward to kiss Remus' lips chastely, he removed himself from Remus' lap.
Moving into the kitchen, he prepared himself more tea, ignoring the sound of the door opening behind him.
"You are going to run him off, you know." A familiar vicious voice said from behind him.
Harry whirled around to face Snape, his hand going to his chest even as the other reached for his wand on instinct. He didn't pull it out, seeing that it was indeed Snape. He relaxed again…as much as one did around Severus Snape, that is.
"What are you on about?" Harry asked in confusion.
Severus sneered at him. "Remus. You are going to run him off if you aren't careful."
Harry, ever the Gryffindor, pushed aside his apprehension at what he might hear and asked, "Why would I run him?"
Severus scoffed at him. "As needy as you are? No one wants someone that can't go a second without clinging to them like a child would their mother. It's entirely unappealing to any self-respecting man. Soon, he will realize this as well, and become tired of it. He will leave you, all because you don't know how to leave him alone and give him space."
Severus walked back out into the dining room after getting more tea for himself, a cruel smirk on his face.
Harry didn't notice the man leave. He just stared dazedly at the wall opposite him, dread filling the pit of his stomach.
While Harry usually took what Snape said with a grain of salt, the man had managed to pick at the only insecurity Harry had in his relationship with Remus. As a kid, Harry had never gotten the affection he desperately craved from his family. He had always been pushed aside and disregarded like trash. So, when he and Remus had begun their relationship, Harry had clung to the affection that Remus seemed content giving him.
Now, the doubt that he had almost managed to snuff out was slowly filtering back in to his mind. What if he did cling too much? What if Remus really hated it but put up with it for Harry? Remus had always been such a sweet person, wanting to make others happy before himself. He wouldn't say that he wanted space if he thought that Harry was happy.
Harry's eyes filled with tears at the very prospect that he might lose Remus to something as stupid as Harry being too clingy. He couldn't lose Remus, he couldn't! Remus was everything to him, the only person that Harry would ever love. Harry wouldn't be able to survive losing Remus, he knew he wouldn't.
With that, Harry resolved to give Remus more space, starting now.
Walking back into the dining room, instead of taking his seat back in Remus' lap, he took a seat in the chair next to Remus. He resisted the urge to wiggle uncomfortably in the hard chair.
He could feel Remus' eyes on him, but he just brought his cup up to his lips and took a small sip. He didn't see Remus' eyes narrow and shift to Snape's smug face, locking gazes with the man across from him.
What the hell did Snape do now?
Harry stood in the kitchen, washing the dishes. He could have done it with magic, but he preferred doing it this way. There was just something calming about the repetitive scrub and rinse of a glass plate or cup that made him want to do it whenever he had something on his mind.
Now, as Harry rinsed a black plate and put it in the dish drainer, he thought back to the last week.
Since the Order meeting, Harry had kept his distance from Remus. When Remus would sit by the fire reading a book, instead of slipping into the chair with him, Harry would take up his own chair across from Remus. It killed him to do it, everything in him screaming at him to snuggle into Remus' warmth and comfort, but he resisted the temptation, cracking open his own book instead. Every time, Remus would look up at him curiously over the top of his book but Harry would go on reading, pretending not to notice the way his love's eyebrows scrunched together in confusion.
After they made love, Harry would let his lover roll away instead of holding him down, even though Harry felt even more naked than he already was every time he did. He would still snuggle into Remus, but it wasn't the same as when he held Remus close to him. Gods, he missed it, but he didn't want to smother his husband. He had done enough of that as it was.
As he continued washing the dishes, Harry took the time to think on all the times he had needlessly insisted on more contact with Remus. After making love, he would hold Remus on top of him; sitting on his lap when there was a chair right next to him that would have worked just fine. Waking Remus up with kisses on his face and neck; joining him in the shower every night. The list went on and on and the more Harry thought about it, the bigger he realized his mistake was.
All Harry could think about now was how he could keep Remus with him. He would do anything to keep Remus as his own, even if it meant stopping his need for contact with the man he loved.
Done with the dishes, he walked back into the living room, seeing Remus sitting on the couch with a book in his hands. As was usual for the past week, he slipped into his own chair and opened his book, ignoring Remus' look.
Harry moaned Remus's name as he came, feeling Remus follow him into the sweet abyss of ecstasy, his lover's come seeping into his clenching hole. For the tenth night in a row, Harry didn't hold onto Remus's body, urging him to collapse on top of him like he used to. Remus hesitated over him, almost waiting for Harry to do just that but when it didn't come, yet again; he rolled over onto his back next to Harry.
Remus looked over at Harry curiously, eyeing the younger man. He didn't understand why Harry was suddenly so distant. He had always liked it when Remus lay on top of him for a while after they made love. When Remus asked him why he did, Harry said it made him feel safe, loved. He said that he liked to be held because he hadn't had that pleasure when he was little.
Remus never complained about Harry being so affectionate, always holding him while he read or during the Order meetings, coming up behind him in the kitchen and wrapping his arms around the smaller man's waist. He never complained because secretly, he loved it that Harry felt safe with him.
Not many people knew of his werewolf status, but even so, he was always scared he would hurt someone, even if it wasn't time for the full moon. He shied away from giving affection due to his fear, depriving himself of something he desired most. Knowing that Harry felt safe in his arms made him feel like he wasn't such a monster, that he could love someone without them being in danger.
Even though Harry didn't know it, Remus considered his desire for affection a way to know that Harry wasn't becoming bored of him. Remus knew he wasn't the most exciting person to be with, nor the most good looking. He knew Harry could have anyone he wanted, someone younger, smarter, and funnier; the list of the things he lacked went on and on.
So now, as Harry turned onto his side, facing away from Remus, which was different still from the last few nights where Harry had at least snuggled into his chest, he wondered if maybe he had done something wrong. He hadn't forgotten an anniversary, birthday, or anything else he could think of. So what could be the problem? What had happened that day in the kitchen with Snape to make Harry so distant when that was not even close to who the man was?
Remus sighed sadly before rolling over and pulling Harry back into his arms. He was relieved to find that Harry snuggled back into his chest instead of pulling away like he had expected; well dreaded more like.
Inhaling the scent of his life mate, he calmed down enough to fall into a peaceful sleep, dreaming of Harry pregnant with his pup, a beatific smile on his face.
A month later, Remus was nowhere near finding the answers to all of his ever increasing number of questions.
Over the last few weeks, Harry had gotten ever worse. They would eat breakfast together, but they wouldn't speak on anything more than inconsequential topics. They had stopped making love more than once a week, and even then, Harry would roll away and now, when Remus went to hold him, it felt as though Harry was just indulging him. He wouldn't even snuggle into him anymore.
Remus was growing desperate, and getting more and more depressed. He didn't understand what he had done to bring on this change. At first, he had thought it something that Snape had said, but now, as time went on and Harry didn't get over it or tell Remus about it, he was beginning to think it was him.
It was breaking Remus' heart to see Harry pulling away from him this way. He loved Harry with all his heart and soul. Harry was his mate, his everything. The fact that it seemed more and more like Harry didn't want him anymore was filling Remus with despair so deep that it took everything he had not to cry.
He didn't understand how a change like this had come around so fast. It wasn't but a month a half ago that Harry had cuddled with him every chance he got and now Remus could hardly get Harry to make love to him, let alone cuddle.
Remus was at his wits end already. He needed Harry and it appeared that Harry didn't need him anymore. The day that Remus had dreaded most had finally come; the day that Harry didn't want him anymore. He just assumed that Harry didn't know how to tell him.
Remus let out a sob as he packed his meager belongings. Harry had gone to the store about an hour ago and Remus had decided he would help Harry along by leaving before Harry had to put himself in the awkward position of explaining that he wanted to separate from him. He would write Harry a note and be gone before his lover got back.
The note was simple. It stated that Remus knew that Harry didn't want him anymore. That Remus would be gone before he got back to save Harry the trouble of having to tell him what the older man already knew. It said that Remus loved him and always would and that he just wanted Harry to be happy.
As Remus closed his bag, he took one last look around the room that had been his and Harry's for a little less than three years and had to stop himself from breaking down and crying. He had a time limit, after all.
He had just made it to the door when Harry came through the floo.
Harry still hated floo travel, he thought as he stumbled out of the fireplace into the living room of his home.
Instantly, Harry could feel that something had shifted in the air.
"Remus?" Harry called, walking out of the room slowly, warily. Stepping out into the hallway, he stopped dead at the sight of Remus standing in front of the door with a bag in his hand.
"Remus? What… What's going on?" Harry asked softly, almost dreading the answer, the sight before him making him stumble over his words.
Remus met his eyes down the length of the hallway. "I'm leaving, Harry." He said softly.
Harry felt his heart stop in his chest and his eyes began to water. His breath caught in his throat as he tried to speak, "I… I don't- I… W-why? Why are you leaving, Remus?" Harry knew he was stuttering, but he couldn't help it. He felt like he was choking on his words, the air in his lungs. His world was going to walk out the door and he didn't think he could handle that.
Remus huffed softly. "Isn't it obvious? I'm saving you the trouble of having to tell me to leave, of course."
"Why the hell would I ever tell you to leave?" Harry asked in a rushed whisper, completely confused as to where Remus had gotten that idea.
Remus scrunched his brow up in confusion. "I thought that… that you didn't want me anymore. I mean, the way you've been acting lately, I just figured you had finally realized that you wanted someone different… better." Remus ended in a whisper, not being able to meet Harry's eyes.
Harry almost couldn't breathe at this point. The way he'd been acting… Oh God. Remus meant Harry pulling away from him.
Harry could do nothing but stare at his amazing husband and pray to Merlin that he could salvage his relationship after the mistake he had made. He never should have listened to Snape! He had let Snape get into his head and he had almost lost the one man that meant everything to him.
Before, he had thought that being too clingy was his mistake. Now, though, as he looked at Remus and saw just what his distance had done to his love, he realized his real mistake had been thinking that Remus had been unhappy with the way things were. And listening to Severus bloody Snape.
"Oh God, Remy. That's not… Oh that's not it at all, love. Snape said that-that I was too clingy. That you would realize it one day and leave me because I didn't give you enough space." Harry sobbed the words, trying hard to make them understandable. He had to make Remus see that it wasn't what he thought.
Remus looked up at him then, his eyes sharp and cautious. "Severus told you that?"
"Yes, Remus. I know I shouldn't have listened to him but I… it's something that I've always been worried about. I know I'm clingy, Remy, and I've always been afraid that it bothered you and you just never said anything. Snape picked that out and used it against me. Gods, I'm so sorry I made you feel that I didn't want you. I'm so sorry." Harry ended on a soft sob.
Through his speech, he had made his way down the hall to Remus. By the time he was done talking, he was in front of the man, but was unsure whether or not he should touch his husband, whether his touch would be accepted.
Remus looked at him with a renewed hope glowing in his soft amber eyes. "You still love me? You don't… don't want anyone else?" Remus asked softly, still unsure.
"Oh, Remy… you're my everything. I love you more than anything. I don't think I could make it without you. I'm so sorry I put that doubt in your eyes. I'm sorry I made you think anything else but that I love you. I never should have let Snape get to me and I never should have pulled away from you. I'm so sorry. Please, please, forgive me." Harry begged softly.
Remus' bag hit the floor and he pulled Harry to his chest, claiming Harry's mouth. The smaller man molded his body to Remus' and moaned into his mouth. God, Harry had nearly lost this with his own stupidity. He would never make that mistake again.
Remus moved them up the stairs and to the bedroom, dropping Harry onto the bed. Not wanting to be bothered with clothes, he spelled them both naked.
He lay on top of Harry, claiming his mouth again. Moony was beginning to raise his head, the urge to claim his mate again making it nearly impossible for him to slow down and prepare Harry.
"Use the spells. Please, Remy, take me." Harry groaned to Remus. Apparently, Harry didn't want to wait either.
Growling, Remus did just, that, stretching and lubing Harry with two quickly muttered spells. Taking advantage of the quick work, Remus thrust into Harry roughly, causing both of them to groan.
Remus wasted no time in pounding into Harry, listening to Harry moan and feeling him writhe beneath him. The fucking was rough and brutal, nowhere close to the love making they usually partook in.
Harry came quickly from the rough pounding his prostate received, causing him to tighten around Remus' cock. Remus groaned loudly and shot spurt after spurt of hot come deep inside Harry.
He collapsed on top of Harry and, like before Snape had said anything, Harry wrapped his arms around Remus' shoulders and held him there, loving the feeling of safety that encompassed him with Remus' body covering his own.
He began to lay urgent kisses over Remus' shoulder and neck, whispering, "I love you, I love you so much," over and over again, needing Remus to know.
When he heard Remus whisper that he loved Harry too, Harry sobbed again and held his love tighter. Never again would he come this close to losing the man that he loved.
It would take some time for them to get back to the way they were, Harry knew, but at least they had each other. Harry would never lose Remus. He would never make the mistake of thinking that Remus wasn't happy ever again.
Ok, so I felt it was a little rushed, but no matter what I did, I couldn't seem to fix it. Either way, let me know what you think. :)