Pairing: Fred/Hermione

Prompts: secret Santa, Christmas at the Weasleys, food fight

Quotes: "don't you dare throw that at me" "come on. It'll be fun" "take a walk on the wild side"

Just A Normal Weasley Family Dinner

A very tired and aggravated Hermione walked into the kitchen of the Burrow, took one look at the chaos in process and Apparated back to her apartment. She changed out of her pretty new robes and put on a pair of Fred's old practice jerseys. She pulled her curly locks back into a loose bun and sighed, "Just once I'd like to have a nice quiet Christmas Eve, like I used to have with my parents." Taking a deep breath, she spun on the spot and appeared in the Burrow's living room.

The noise coming from the kitchen was deafening. There were shrill screams, violent threats and groans of pain. After a double shift at the Saint Mungo's emergency room, Hermione wasn't sure if she could handle blood shed. After four years married to Fred and the three years of dating before that, you'd think she'd be used to the chaos "Family Meals" always turned into. Now with the addition of her three year old twin girls, George and Luna's six year old twin boys, Harry and Ginny's three children and Ron and Lavender's five year old they were beyond chaos. This was nearing bedlam!

"What the hell are you people doing now?" she said as she cleared the kitchen door. The sight that met her caused her jaw to drop. The pure scale of destruction in the kitchen was beyond her comprehension.

"Don't just stand there catching flies, Auntie! Help us!" screamed Arty and Maury in unison. Momentarily she wondered if her own twins would do that one day.

Fred and George had flipped the long kitchen table on it's side and the three sets of twins plus Luna were flinging spoonfuls of mash across the room at the others. Arthur and Molly were sitting on the kitchen counter enjoying pumpkin juice from behind a shielding charm.

Hermione burst out laughing and ran to the safety of the over turned table. The war lasted another twenty minutes, when both teams surrendered due to lack of ammunition. With a flick of the wrist, Molly's table was set right and all the wreckage disappeared.

Everyone took their seats at the table and Molly, Hermione and Ginny started fly the food over to the table. Once the food was on the table, the masses tucked in. Two tiny girls, with a tiny spoon each, giggled hysterically as they aimed them at the matriarch of the family.

Startled by the look of pure evil genius mixed with mischievous glee, all Hermione could do was stare!

Molly, having raised the twins father, didn't even raise an eyebrow. She calmly said in her most firm voice, "Ladies, you will NOT throw food at the table."

The girls calmly climbed down from the table, walked around the table and took aim. Fred and George giggled. Ron and Ginny were in awe of the stupidity – slash - audacity of their nieces.

"Don't you dare throw that at me!" Molly yelled.

SPLAT – mash all over Molly's face and hair.

Arty whispered quite loudly to Maury, "Merlin's saggy pants, they just flung the mash at GrandMum."

Maury leaned over towards George, "Daddy, is GrandMum going to kill Rose and Elsbeth?"

The rest of the room was holding their breath, waiting for the explosion. Hermione and Fred were frantically looking around silently trying to find the best escape route for their daughters.

Then Arthur lost it, he was laughing so hard there was no sound, just jiggling and tears. Molly wiped the mash off her eyes, looked at her hands and burst into guffaws and tears. The room exhaled and nervously laughed.

When Arthur regained his composure, he said, "Hermione, you have my greatest sympathy. You are in store for sleepless nights, scorched ceilings, some of the most frightening and hilarious pranks you can imagine. The only advice I can give you is to take a walk on the wild side and enjoy every minute of it."