If there's one thing that irritates me more than anything else, it's the fact that everyone assumes that Tori Vega is so fucking perfect. She isn't. Let me get one thing out in the open before I continue: this isn't just a giant bash on Vega. It's something much more than that. This is me exposing her secret to the world. She isn't as innocent as she appears to be.
I found this out a while ago. We were all hanging out at her place watching movies and hanging out. Slowly everyone starting to leave once the movie we were watching was over, the night running out. When it was just Cat, Vega, and myself left, Vega pulled out a bottle of wine and we wound up sitting around drinking and talking. And by talking, I mean I sat back and drank while Cat and Vega gushed about stupid shit that I could really care less about. The only time I spoke was to offer a sarcastic comment or ridicule Vega for something stupid that she said. Cat passed out very quickly. I wasn't surprised about that. What surprised me was the way a tan hand was creeping its way up my neck as Vega and I sat on her couch, watching crappy late night TV.
"What do you think you're doing, Vega?" I asked, my body going rigid as her cold fingers crept closer up the back of my neck.
"Hm? Nothing." She said innocently, and soon her other hand joined in the journey to pull my face to hers.
"This seems like a lot more than nothing." I said, my voice husky as I felt her breath hot on my mouth.
"Maybe." She whispered before kissing me roughly. Holy Hell, was she a good kisser. That, again, was unexpected. My body reacted on its own, kissing her back with equal fervor as I pushed her backwards onto the couch so I was on top of her. Our lips moved languidly together for a long while before one of us pulled away, breathing heavy as we looked at each other through hooded lids.
"Fuck." I said, trying to regain control of my breathing.
"Something like that." Vega replied, her hands still tangled in my hair.
We had sex for the first time that night. It was clumsy and awkward. The fact that we were two people unaccustomed to those actions left us fumbling over the other's body until we finally understood what made the other tick. And then it was like an insatiable urge had been ignited inside of us. Another unexpected event.
The morning after was uncomfortable, but nothing we couldn't handle. That night was never spoken of again, though it happened a few more times. Well, maybe more than a few.
Suddenly, I found myself spending my weekends at the Vega house, eating pizza and watching movies with the girl I swore I hated. We talked, laughed, and when the lights were out we would kiss. No questions were asked about the kind of label what we were doing should have. Nothing like that at all. We were just friends, which I was still reluctant to admit. Yeah, friends. Friends that kiss and have sex but act like there's nothing going on as soon as someone else enters the room. That's normal, right?
One night we were in her room, watching some lame rom com she picked out. I sat on her bed painting my nails as she laid on her stomach, watching the movie intently.
"So, do you like me or something?" I asked, hoping my voice conveyed the disinterest that I certainly wasn't experiencing.
She looked back at me with a smile, "Of course I do."
"Like, in a dating way?" I asked, picking at the paint I managed to get on my skin.
"I would date you." She said simply, and I sensed a little bit of discomfort in her voice.
"You would? What, is there something holding you back?" I allowed a little bit of curiosity ebb my words, along with a little bite.
She let out a sigh as she rolled onto her back, "I don't trust myself." She said softly.
"You what?" I asked incredulously.
"I always hurt everyone I care about. Especially when I'm in a relationship." She admitted, avoiding looking at me at all costs.
"I'm curious to hear this explained, considering all of the relationships I've witnessed were guys treating you like this." I said, growing irritated with her.
Vega stayed silent for a long minute as I watched her mull over in her mind what she was planning on saying to me, "I just don't think it would be worth it to ruin what we have right now. I mean..."
"Are you happy?" I asked, cutting her off.
She gave me a sad smile, "I haven't been happy in a while. But when I'm with you, yeah. I feel lighter. Things feel better."
"So why wouldn't you want to make that something permanent?" I asked, my voice holding a little insistence as I spoke.
"Nothing is permanent, Jade. I figured you of all people would understand that after everything you went through with Beck." I winced slightly at the mention of my recent ex-boyfriend. I suppose she had a point there.
I let the conversation go at that point, and she rolled back onto her stomach and watched the movie as I studied her disposition. She hurts people? All I've ever seen has been the other way around. Then again, maybe there was more to Tori Vega than I knew. I guess that was always an option.
After that night, things weren't exactly awkward, but they definitely were different. We were still friends. We talked lightly at school, still uneasy about the way our friends were reacting to our budding relationship. They always appraised us slightly uncertain about what they were seeing. I'm assuming they were just on edge, preparing to have to jump to Vega's aid in case anything happened. Little did they know it was clearly the other way around.
The sex stopped after that night, but the tension remained thick between us. Glances were slowly passed to the other when we were with our friends. The slightest contact that our skin would make was enough to set my body ablaze. We still hung out alone, but the frequency dropped dramatically. She would often insist that we invite Cat, giving me the excuse that she feared Cat would think we were trying to push her away. I would always agree to allowing Cat to tag along, primarily for the sake of getting to spend time with Vega in any way that I could.
Months of sexual frustration and awkward tension was building between the two of us until one Friday I couldn't take it anymore. We were at school, in the hallway waiting for classes to begin. I was at my locker and I watched as Vega strutted into the building.
"Vega." I called out to her. Her dignified stride to her locker was halted as she turned and looked at me with a smile.
"Yeah?" She asked when she was standing close enough for me to smell her perfume.
"Come over tonight?" I asked in a partial-question, partial-order manner.
"Okay." Vega agreed easily with a shrug and a grin, "What do you wanna do?"
"I got a bottle of wine." I said casually.
"We should make a video." Vega said cheerily.
I eyes her suspiciously, "Of what?"
She shrugged, a mischievous look in her eyes, "Anything. Us talking or something. I just think it'd be funny."
I nodded, "Okay. So it's settled."
She gave me a wink, "I'll see you then."
I did my best to ignore the way my heart was currently fluttering in my chest for the rest of the day. When it was finally time to go home, I practically ran out of the building and to my car. I rushed frantically around my room while I waiting for Vega to come over. I had a few hours, so to calm my nerves I took a nice long, hot shower and cleaned my room. It did the trick, for the most part.
When Vega finally arrived, we sat on my bed and talked for a while before I decided to bring out the wine.
"Remember the first time we ever drank together?" She said with a giggle as I poured her a glass.
A blush spread across my cheeks, "Kind of hard to forget." We looked at each other for a moment before we each took deep drinks from the glasses in our hands. She changed the subject to something Cat had told her earlier in the day, but I found it hard to concentrate as I looked at how beautiful she was. I had fallen for Tori Vega a long time ago, though I would never admit it to her. Not when I was sober at least.
As time went on, we found ourselves down to the end of the bottle. Her face was flushed as she chuckled, pouring the remnants of the bottle into her glass, "All gone!"
"I've got two more bottles downstairs." I said with a laugh as I pulled out my laptop.
"Oh! I forgot about the video!" Vega said excitedly.
"Yeah, what is it even going to be about?" I asked as I set up the camera.
"Let's answer weird questions." Vega suggested.
"Like icebreakers?" I asked skeptically. Vega clapped her hands together and nodded.
So we pulled up a website of icebreaker questions and I hit record on my laptop. The first few were incredibly lame. Like what would you do if you only had twenty four hours to live, would you tell someone if their underwear was showing, and if you could have any super power what would it be. I had gone and grabbed a new bottle somewhere in between those questions and felt myself feeling warm and bubbly as we moved on to the next question.
I looked at her as she answered whatever it was, and I cut her off mid-sentence, "You're eyes are like this coppery color." I said.
She smiled, "I know. Your eyes look really green right now." She said, her voice growing soft.
"Really? Like a good green?" I asked, at this point completely ignoring the fact that a camera was recording every word.
"A great green. They're really pretty." She said, smirking slightly. The conversation died and we were left with our faces only inches apart, looking the other dead in the eye. For a moment, I saw her eyes glance down to my lips and I cleared my throat.
"Next question." I said before looking away from her and back to the screen. She nodded and I watched on the monitor as she ran a hand through her hair, visibly flustered by what had just happened. Or by what had almost happened.
A few more questions were answered as we laughed loudly at each other's answers, our bodies coming together like magnets whenever a fit of giggles would break out.
"Pause it." Vega demanded as she stood up.
"Where are you going?" I asked, ignoring her request.
"Bathroom. Pause it." She stated again. I complied this time and watched as she flounced out of the room. You know, I was an idiot for inviting her over. I was just finally starting to get over this infatuation that I had with her. Well, it was more than an infatuation. Much more. She melted my heart of ice and there wasn't anything I could do about it. Except try to change her mind. She came back into the room and jumped onto the bed, bouncing into me slightly and laughing.
"You know what cracks me up?" She asked, sitting up straight and looking at me.
"What's that?" I asked as I sipped my wine.
"How often Andre asks if we're sleeping together."
"He what?" I asked in disbelief.
"Oh yeah, he always used to ask whenever we'd hang out if there was something else going on." She said nodding.
"What would make him ask that?" I said, confusing and panic melding together. It wasn't as though I had something to hide. I just always thought we were subtle about the things we did that couldn't constitute as simple friendship.
Vega shrugged casually, "It's probably all of the sexual tension." She said as she tugged on a lock of my hair playfully. Her hand fell on my thigh as we looked at each other, clearly trying to gauge how the other was feeling. I ignored any kind of hesitance she was expressing as I leaned forward and cupped her face, kissing her roughly and pushing her back onto the bed. My leg ground in between hers and her hands were knotted in my hair as she held me close to her. We were lost in the clashing of teeth against lips and I realized how long it had been since this had happened. My heart began to flutter at the thought of her letting this happen again. I moved my mouth down to her neck and nipped at her pulse point. She pushed me away at that point.
"God, Jade. Don't give me a hickey." She said, her hands holding my shoulders.
"Relax, Vega. I wouldn't." I reassured her as I leaned back down, biting again. I reveled in the gasp and sigh she let out, as she dropped her head back, granting me more access to her throat. I took it greedily as my hands ghosted down her sides and back up, gently palming her breasts. She moaned and her hands clung to my hips in desperation as I felt her leg come up roughly in between mine.
"Fuck." I said into her neck. It was like at that moment we realized what we were doing as we sprang apart from each other. We looked at the other, with heaving chests and hooded lids.
"We probably shouldn't." Vega said softly.
"You're right." I said, nodding as we both took our places back on the bed. I put in a movie, deciding that those icebreaker questions weren't enough to keep our attention off of the other. So I put in The Da Vinci Code. When I went to sit down next to her, with our backs against the headboard of my bed, I found myself putting my arm around her shoulders and pulling her close to me. Her hand instantly found my other hand and our fingers laces together.
"It's weird." I said in a soft voice as the movie began.
"How...right this feels." I said, regretting it instantly afterwards.
She said nothing, and inwardly I was cursing myself for thinking that was a good idea. Until I felt her nodding and I looked at her to see the small smile gracing those perfect lips, "It does feel right." She agreed. I leaned forward slightly, placing a gently kiss on her cheek.
We watched the movie in silence for a while, but I realized that I couldn't keep her off my mind long enough to focus on any kind of plot. The only things running through my mind had been her lips, her hands, her hair. I looked at her as she watched the TV.
"Do you still like me like you did back then?" I asked, again wondering why I was allowing so much vulnerability in one night.
She was quiet for a moment and worry brewed in my gut as I wished I hadn't said anything at all, "Yeah. I really do." She answered in a whisper. I removed my one hand from hers and tucked my fingers under her chin, pulling her into a kiss. A kiss that was so gentle, I had no idea where it came from. I had no idea I was capable of something like that. Everything that was ever between us was rough and quick. This was slow and soft.
"We should go to bed." I said when we pulled away. She bit her lip and nodded. I got up and as she climbed under the covers, I walked out of my room and checked my house to make sure everything was locked up and secure. I got back into my room and saw Vega lying on my side of the bed.
"Scoot." I ordered, tapping her arm with my fingers.
"Oh, am I on your side?" She asked playfully.
"Yup." I said as I climbed into bed. Once I turned my nightside light off, I rolled onto my side, my arm sliding around her waist and pulling her into me. I don't know why I did it. I swear, my body has a mind of its own.
We laid there in silence for a moment, and suddenly I was compelled to unleash another confession.
"I hate that I still have these feelings for you." I whispered, my face hidden in her hair.
"Why?" She asked, humor evident in her voice, which frustrated me endlessly.
"It does nothing but hurt." I said softly.
"You aren't the only one." She replied.
"It feels like it." I said, growing irritated with her as I tried to move away and sleep on my other side with my back to her. The moment I tried to remove my arm, she held onto it tightly and pulled me closer.
"I promise you aren't."
Meh. Wanted to try something out. Might stay as a one-shot. Maybe not. Feedback?