Dean looked at his little brother. "Yes, Sammy?"
"Is it okay for a boy to like other boys?" the 7 year old asked in that sweet, innocent manner of his. Dean raised an eyebrow in surprise. Did he really hear that correctly? Sam was way too young to be thinking of these things already. Sure, Dean was at that age where girls are starting to interest him, and he shared his thoughts with his brother, but that's the thing. They're girls. He'd never really given boys any thought, but it looked like Sam had. He glanced down at him. Sam was looking at him with huge eyes, patiently waiting for the answer.
"Well," the 11 year old started as he sat down next to Sam on the bed. "As long as you love someone I guess it's fine. What… Why are you asking?"
"A girl in my class says she has two daddies," Sam explained and Dean could feel himself relax as he breathed out a sigh of relief. "I was just wondering how that works."
"Oh," Dean said. "I guess it's just like liking a girl. Except they're boys," he concluded.
Sam nodded as if it was the most interesting thing he'd ever heard. Dean cleared his throat and steered the conversation in another direction.
"So, this girl. Is she your girlfriend?"
The subject didn't come up again until several years later. Dean was leaning against a wall as he watched the cars pass by on the road before him. He was tired, hungry, and so ready to leave this place. The hunt had been bad and he was in a pretty lousy mood. If only his dad could hurry up…
"Hey, Dean?" a voice said to his left. He turned to find his 12 year old brother walking up to where he was standing, looking pretty bad himself.
"What is it, Sammy?" he asked tiredly. Sam leaned in closer and Dean frowned quizzically at him.
"See that guy over there?" Sam murmured, subtly tilting his head to their right. Dean glanced towards the parking lot and found a young male, probably around his age, with his gaze locked on them. Dean raised an eyebrow.
"What is he doing? What does he want?"
"You," Sam replied bluntly. Dean resisted the urge to slap him and simply glared at him. "He's checking you out, dummy."
"What?" Dean spat out and turned to look at the guy again. He definitely looked like he wanted to pounce on them- him. Oh, God. Were those bedroom eyes? "What the hell?" Dean immediately started walking towards the Impala. Sam followed him and shot him a meaningful look.
"Won't you even let him ask you out?" he teased.
"Shut up, Sammy. I don't swing that way. God, that was just creepy."
"Why? Isn't that the way guys usually look at girls? The way you look at girls?"
"Okay, I get your point. But still. That's never happened to me before. I guess I'm not used to it."
"You should get used to it. Since you describe yourself as a, I quote, 'sex god', I figure not only women will want to devour you."
"Oh, my God, Sam. Blunt much?"
"I got it from you."
Dean just snorted in response.
"No, but seriously, Dean. You don't have any problem with gay people, do you?" Sam asked.
Dean sighed. "I don't, but that doesn't mean I'm one of them. I'm into chicks."
"You should at least learn how to dismiss a guy without seeming rude."
"Since when do you care so much about this?"
"Since I made friends with that guy's younger brother."
Three years later they approached the subject anew. Dad was on a hunt and the brothers found themselves in a scabby motel room, trying to watch some television though the signal was awful. Dean sighed as he brought one arm up to rest under his head.
"Dean?" Sam inquired from his bed. Dean was too lazy to turn to look at him, so he only hummed in response. "Have you ever experimented with your sexuality?"
That caused a reaction. Dean twisted his entire body to his side so that he had Sam fully in view. "What?"
"Like, I know you say you've always known you were straight, but didn't you ever feel the tiniest bit curious about the same sex? Ever?" Sam asked, refusing to look at him.
"Well." Flashes of his senior year raced through his mind. The few times he caught himself accidentally checking out a guy in the locker room (which wasn't his fault, really. His eyes just happened to get stuck on him). The time he accidentally grazed a guy's crotch and found himself not really minding. That one time he was wrestling with this guy and got a hard on. Accidentally. Those were things all guys went through, right? It was those stupid teenage hormones acting up. It was normal, wasn't it?
"No," he finally said. "Homosexuality has never spoken to me."
"Oh, I'm not talking of homosexuality. You're clearly way too attracted to girls to be gay. I mean bisexuality," Sam said.
"Bisexuality?" Dean had never really thought of that. All he knew was that he wasn't gay, and that was it. He'd never considered the fact that he might be bi… "Nope. Not that either."
Sam finally met his eyes. "Never?"
Dean never found out why Sam had asked those things, but he knew that it wasn't because Sam himself was questioning his sexuality. No, he was more questioning Dean's. He had no idea why his little brother kept bringing it up, but he mentioned it a lot after that. It was like he was trying to get Dean to realize that he wasn't as straight as he claimed. Which was ridiculous, to be honest. Like Dean wouldn't know his own sexuality. Come on.
"You're drooling," a 17 year old Sam said as he nudged Dean gently. Dean snapped out of his trance and looked at him.
"You've been staring at that guy for over 20 minutes. I figured I should leave you to it, but then you started salivating," Sam explained with a grin.
"I wasn't staring at that guy," Dean protested as he wiped his mouth with his hand. "I was simply daydreaming and he happened to be in the way."
Sam rolled his eyes. "Whatever floats your boat."
Seriously. Sam kept tossing comments like that at him and it made him very frustrated. Let's say that maybe, just maybe, he was bi. Would Sam keep tormenting him like this? It wasn't fair, really. Dean never made him feel bad for ogling girls. Not that Dean was ogling guys. Because he was straight.
"Dean, what the hell are you watching?" Sam exclaimed as he entered the motel room. Dean was lying on his bed with his eyes glued to the tv. He held out a hand to shush his brother.
"Are you-? Is that gay porn?" Sam asked as he got closer to the small screen.
"It was the only thing on. Now be quiet. You're ruining the mood."
Sam couldn't believe his eyes. Never in his 23 years had he witnessed Dean watching gay porn. He'd walked in on him watching porn several times, but never guy on guy action. This was something new.
Dean could feel Sam's dumbfound gaze on him as he stared intently at the tv. He should be embarrassed that Sam caught him doing…this, but really he couldn't find it in him to care right now. The scene in front of him was just getting exciting.
A few years later he finally let go of his denial.
"Cas, I-don't go," Dean pleaded as the Angel was just about to disappear. Castiel raised an eyebrow, something he must've gotten from watching Sam and Dean, and took a step closer to him.
"You don't want me to go?" he asked slowly.
"I want you to stay," Dean clarified.
"You want me to stay?"
Whatever it was that him and Cas had going was definitely realer than any of his former relationships. Sure, Cas was an Angel, but…maybe Sam had been right.
"Is it okay for a boy to like other boys?"
"I guess it's just like liking a girl. Except they're boys."
"Oh, I'm not talking of homosexuality. You're clearly way too attracted to girls to be gay. I mean bisexuality."
Whatever Sam had suspected, he seemed to know what he was doing. Dean had come to terms with his sexuality when he realized just how beautiful Castiel was. He'd rather have him than his pride. Because then at least he would be happy.
Cas took another step towards him.
"I will stay."
This was an idea I've had for a while. I love reading stories with Dean struggling a bit with his sexuality. Throw in some brotherly moments and some Destiel and I'm in heaven.
I hope you liked it. Reviews would make me happy. I also take prompts =)