Do I Stay or Do I Go?

Ianto Jones had been sent home in disgrace, much like a naughty schoolboy who'd misbehaved in class. Despite all his efforts, all the secrecy, all the plans, hopes and prayers, Lisa had been discovered and destroyed. Within a few short hours, everything Ianto had tried so hard to accomplish was gone, over in a hail of bullets. If her own death weren't enough to weigh on Ianto's conscience, in a twisted attempt to say thank you for freeing her from the conversion unit, Lisa had tried to convert Doctor Tanizaki and as a result, she'd killed the one person in the world who might have actually saved her. Worst of all in Ianto's eyes, Lisa had killed Annie, an innocent pizza delivery girl, in a demented attempt to become human again so that she and Ianto could be together.

Sitting in his dark living room, Ianto pondered his future; he was mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted. Everything he'd planned for and dreamed of was now gone. His future with Lisa was over; the only reason he'd joined Torchwood Cardiff was now lying in its Morgue awaiting the indignities of Owen's autopsy. 'What do I do now?' He looked around the bare room, empty except for the sofa, the television and an Ikea flat pack side table. He had plenty of money in the bank; 'I could leave Cardiff forever and go anywhere in the world.' His grandparents had left him and his sister, Rhiannon, a small fortune in their will and the subsequent sale of their huge farm as an exclusive conference centre for wealthy executives had brought in even more money.

While she'd been confined in her conversion unit, he and Lisa had made a lot of plans for their post-Torchwood lives, including lengthy discussions about whether they should move to Canada, Australia, Japan or Barbados when she was cured. As Ianto sat in the dark, listening to the sounds of traffic on the street outside, he remembered those conversations vividly; he could hear their spirited debates and heated arguments over the virtues and drawbacks of each location. The only thing they'd really agreed on was that they were leaving the UK and never looking back.

"So, do I stay or do I go," he asked himself quietly, his brain weighing the myriad possibilities of choice that lay before him.

Reaching under the sofa, Ianto drew out a small metal lockbox and then he pulled his key ring from his pocket. Selecting a small key and unlocking the box, he withdrew its contents and set the box aside. He watched as a passing vehicle momentarily illuminated his lounge enough for him to clearly see what he held in his hands.

"Jack said not to return to the Hub for a month," he murmured quietly. "A month is a long time to wait around and do nothing with my life."

Ianto flicked the safety off his handgun, pulled back the slide and let it snap forward, chambering the top round from the clip. Turning the weapon around, he closed one eye and peered down the barrel for a moment.

"So, do I stay…?" He could feel his finger twitch on the trigger and he felt a corresponding fission of adrenaline spark in his belly. "…or do I go?"