So I was in a decent mood and decided to be nice, I did a massive update for all the updates I did on my personal site. I am sure that there will be flames, I was told not to post here anymore by a lot of people with the newest installment of TNK because my personal site is my priority but w/e. I was feeling generous I suppose. If you want the link to my personal site where all these stories are continuing, since on here is unlikely, PM me for it.
Chapter 12: A Very Confused Blond
Naruto just sat there on the couch a couple days after the incident with Anko. Kushina had noticed that there was something wrong with her son though. He had been off the last couple of days, ever since they returned from their mission. She had asked Naruko about the mission and it didn't seem as if there was anything that went wrong with it so she didn't know what it was.
Eventually Kushina grew tired of trying to figure it out the hard way. As her son sat there on the couch again, still with his thinking face. Kushina collapsed down onto the couch next to her son, snapping him out of the current thought process he was in. Naruto looked over at his mother who was observing him with calculating eyes, "Yeah?"
Kushina kept her eyes on him closely, "What has been wrong with you, there has been something off and you keep thinking about something. You normally think about things yes but it never takes so much of your time and you never have to concentrate so hard on it."
The blond haired man leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees as he gripped his hands together tightly, "Anko kissed me when we returned from our mission, I don't know what it is that I want to do about all of it yet. On one side, I think that I have been happy with Ayame. On the other side of it this is Anko, the woman I have quested for most of my life. The one who was always out of my reach and no matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried, I wasn't the one she wanted. After all these years, finally I am what she wants.. finally she shows feelings and I don't know if I still want her."
Kushina watched as he just stared at the wall intensely as he thought about the whole situation, "What would you do mom?"
The red headed mother just smiled at her son, "You should do what will make you the happiest Naruto.. sometimes though, to be happy you have to take the risk of being hurt. I know you are happy with Ayame, but I know it isn't the happiest that you could be. I know that to achieve that you have to take that chance and risk your heart with Anko."
Naruto leaned back on the couch again, "I don't want to risk my heart though.. haven't I been through enough with my life as it is to not have to risk being heartbroken by the same woman again? Why do things always have to be so damn difficult for me?"
Kushina gave him a soft smile, a smile that only a mother could possess. Kushina rubbed his head softly as she looked at her son, "I know that you think that life is just going against you Naruto but sometime life tries to break you so that you can achieve something great. Your father faced many challenges and in the end he had many things he loved and achieved. Yes, eventually he faced a challenge that he could not conquer but it is a challenge few could conquer."
Naruto looked at his mother as she explained, though she now had a depressed look on her face from the fact that she lost Minato. He sighed a little bit then looked forward again, "I think that I have faced enough trials already, I faced large ones as well. Being a jinchuriki, living my life without my family, watching the woman I had fallen in love with who was in love with another then being the reason that she lost him."
His mother sighed, yes she knew Naruto was in belief of it being his fault that Takashi was dead but it wasn't true. She had to convince him of that some day, though all of her attempts thus far had fallen of deaf ears. As he gazed intensely at the wall she sighed, "It isn't your fault, I know that you think that it is but it is not your fault that he is dead. He is the one who decided to try and take on all of those ninja. He is dead for his own ambitions, stop feeling like it is your fault that he isn't alive anymore since it is his own."
The blond haired man sighed as he stood up, this was a conversation that he had many times with her. She didn't like how he was always feeling bad for it but it was something that he knew would never change. He knew that in the end, because of what he had said Takashi tried to prove himself, for that reason he died. Naruto looked over at his mother from the corner of his eye then shook his head, "No.. he is dead because of me for what I said to him. He was a stupid and foolish ninja but I know I was why he stayed out there. I was the reason that he died and I was the reason that Anko lost him."
His mother sighed as she always did, one day she hoped to be able to sway him to seeing the other side of this though she did have her doubts. The differences between the once happy boy and the man she found were night and day to her. She missed how he use to smile and joke around, how he was always just being a kid. What she found upon her return was a more dark and serious man, someone who had lost that light she loved to see in him as a boy. She had often wondered if that boy she once knew so well still resided somewhere inside of him. She hoped that he did, that when that one piece came into his life that would start to bring back that little boy she missed.
She knew that key was Anko, somewhere deep down she knew that if he could put his heart on the line with her she may bring back her son. She did understand what happened to him though, she knew that he adapted. He had to adapt and become colder and more distant in order to survive the world without his family. She just wished that now that he had most of his family back, some of the older Naruto would start to break through. Every now and then there would be a glimpse, though it was gone just as quick as it came. That was when Ayame came back with the groceries and smiled at him, "Hey Naruto-kun!"
Naruto looked at her and nodded his head at her, he was going to have to decide here relatively soon. He had to decide on whether or not he would pick Anko, if he was willing to take a risk like that and give up the securities that he had with Ayame. He knew what would entail with her, eventually he would do the customary thing and marry her, they would have children and he would live a life of mediocrity. He could also take the chance with Anko, if it ended well he would be happier then he ever thought possible. He would one day more then likely have children with her as well as marry her if it was what she so desired. Though Naruto knew somewhere inside what the answer already was, he could feel how happy just the idea of being with the snake mistress could make him feel.
The idea of his life with Ayame just gave him the feeling of being safe, not the happiness he had with Anko. He knew what he was going to have to do, he knew that he would have to end things with Ayame but he would wait until his mother and sister had gone to bed for the evening. He would tell her then, he would face her complaining that he was sure would be excessively loud and annoying. He would go and find Anko tomorrow, discuss all of this with her but first he would have to deal with the issues he would have to face tonight.
They sat down to dinner and Kushina could feel the awkwardness that her son was in, she knew that it meant he had made his decision. She was happy about the decision that he had made, though she knew that tonight was going to get loud. Ayame could sense that something was wrong with her blond haired lover, though she didn't know exactly what was wrong with him. Even Naruko was able to pick up on it, she had seen that something was wrong with her brother lately, though she didn't know what it was either. The only people who knew were Naruto, Anko and now Kushina. When they finished their dinners Naruto cleaned it all up as he always did while his mother and sister retired to their rooms.
When he heard their doors close he grabbed Ayames hand and led her outside only muttering 'We need to talk outside.'
As they arrived outside of the Namikaze household, making it so that even if she got loud then she would not wake his family. Though, he figured that there was a good chance that he was going to be hearing complaints from his neighbors. Naruto sighed as he looked at her, his cold icy blue eyes just looking at her with analytical eyes, "We are over Ayame, I am sorry but I have to at least try to be with Anko since she is showing that she cares and actually wants to try with me. I know that we have had good moments but being with you is just me choosing to be safe, that wouldn't be fair to anyone. The person that it would be least fair to is you."
Ayames eyes had widened a little as he told her all of this, "W.. wh.. what? WHAT! WHAT ABOUT WHEN YOU SAID THAT EVEN IF SHE DID LIKE YOU THEN YOU WOULD STILL PICK ME! HUH!? WHAT ABOUT ALL THAT BULLSHIT THAT YOU SPOUTED YOU BLOND BASTARD!"
Naruto sighed, he figured that something along these lines would happen. He knew she would blow up at him and then he would have to deal with the excessive yelling and bitching she would do. They just stood there looking at one another for a moment before he let out a long sigh, "I know what I said Ayame, to be honest I figured that I would pick you. The safer route where I wouldn't be putting myself at risk but I can't get over the feeling that I have when I think about having a life with her. I am truly sorry but we both knew that my being with you was just trying to get over her as it was last time. This time we did make more progress but in the end I couldn't do it."
Ayame glared at him then started to poke him in the chest, "Yeah well fuck you Naruto! I hope that she destroys your heart, I hope she breaks you the rest of the way. This time I won't be coming back to try and make you happy, I won't try to help you again. I guess I should also tell you that I am late."
Naruto looked at her with a confused expression for a moment until he realized what she was saying. He just looked at her for a moment, wondering if Ayame would really try to do something as drastic as say she was pregnant since he was threatening to end them to be with Anko. He just continued to look at her for a moment, "How long have you know, have you went and spoke to anyone about this and make sure that you are actually pregnant?"
Ayame glared at him, "Are you doubting me!?"
The blond just stared at her, "You haven't tried to deny it so I guess I am, have you seen a doctor or not Ayame?"
The brown haired woman just glared at him then stormed off away from him. He watched as she left, wondering if she was telling him the truth or not, perhaps he could have his mother try to find out. He just let out another sigh before he returned to his home and went to bed for the evening.