Two weeks later, after a harsh mission, the subject came up again. Logan sought Kurt out as he was in his room praying. "Hey elf," he barged in then stopped as Kurt kneeled. Grinning, the elf' rose gracefully to his feet. "Ja, what's up?"
"Uhm didn't mean to interrupt," and turning, he headed for the door. BAMF Kurt teleported into the hallway and smiled.
"No interruption, He understands."
"Yah, right." Shrugging, Logan nodded towards the kitchen and walked away. With familiar ease, they settled at the table. Beer in hand, Logan held it and thought. Sipping coffee, praying hard for guidance, Kurt waited. "Alright. How come God makes you kneel if He cares so much for you? " He snapped.
"I kneel because I choose to, not commanded to. It shows reverence and awe to Him. But it is the bending of the heart God wants, not just the knee."
"Hmmmff. Still sounds like living a prudish lifestyle. No fun, if ya ask me."
"There is fun, but also a hope and peace and joy." Remembering a lesson he had heard. "It is like a deaf man sitting in a square. A musician came up behind him and began to play. The others nearby heard the music and jumped up, and began to dance. The deaf man saw this and thought they were all mad. Christians are like that."
"Deaf and thinks everyone else is crazy?" Logan razzed.
"Nien. Christians hear what the deaf cannot and dance with joy. It is those who cannot hear who think we are mad." Verrückt, Kurt thought.
"You hear God?"
"You know they lock people up for statements like that `crawler." Emptied, the beer can was crumpled and tossed expertly into the trash. *Snikt* and another was opened. Sighing, Kurt refused to be drawn in.
"When someone prays to God, they are looking for a response. Why, when one is given, are they considered crazy? Is it crazier to pray to something you don't believe exists or to pray for an answer and get one, ja?"
"You prayed for that little girl last night in that wreckage and He still took her. What kind of an answer was that to you, or her father?" Logan countered. Just mentioning it bothered him, but he slammed the emotions down with an angry curse. People praying looked for answers, well, so did he. Seeing the struggle within, Kurt wanted to reach the man that was his closest friend.
"I prayed for God to do His will, not just the child live and be healed. Death is not the end. We know that. And now she is somewhere happy, safe, and running and playing. Not living in poverty and fear on Genosha."
"Another point. If your God is so good, how come He allows living hell holes like that? Ain't hell itself enough ? Tortured in life then death too?"
"Hell is for those who reject God in their lives. Hell here is what man chooses. God gave us free will. If He forced everything His way, there would be no free choice. He gives us the power to do good or evil" Sighing, Kurt admitted, "We do choose evil easily and quickly. We make our own hells here. Even I have temptations and fall. "Logan's head snapped up and started to disagree then hesitated, letting him finish."Nein, I don't understand last night either. Her injuries were not that severe and her father was not a believer. But I can only trust that He keeps His promises and she is with Him." Talking almost to himself, "Faith is believing God is all He says He is. I have faith that He knows better." Folding his hands, he remembered the feel of her hair, the look in her eyes and the smile she had at the last.
A soft touch on his shoulder and a whiff of perfume announced Jean's arrival. A believer, if quietly as the simple cross necklace on her neck, she smiled at them both. "Scott and I have had this same discussion." Acknowledging their nods, she sat gracefully in the other chair. "We both believe there is a life after this one. And anyone who knows better than us has my vote. We...I....have seen to much not to believe. Yet I understand so little of it."
"Ja. Even with my teaching and a lifetime of learning, I will never understand it all."
"That's what makes us mortal kids." Logan added quietly. "And as long as someone understands and is working, that's
good enough for me."
Kurt nodded. `Lord,' he prayed, `Should I push ? If he dies before, I could not, I fear...' "That is his choice," he felt echoed and sighed. Logan looked sideways and grunted, finishing off the beer.
"How about we run off some stress in the Danger Room you two, and continue this another time?" Rising, he strolled out of the room. `All right,' he thought. `If You can hear me, I believe in You. That You are who You say You are. And I need all the help I can get.' Man enough to admit it, Logan knew he had survived and escaped too many times without having had some help from somewhere. `But I still wanna keep my beer and cigars.' Surprisingly, he felt as if an okay was given.