Jake sat at the kitchen table with Billy with Bella to his left. Charlie was pacing the little kitchen, steam practically coming out of his ears and nostrils as he huffed like a dragon that had an overabundance of smoke to exhale. This was going to be so painful. He really thought Charlie was going to chase after him when he first got there; he was like a bull and Jake felt like the red flag. A red flag that was waving and taunting.
Billy had his usual 'watching my son being tortured is so much fun'look. Bella looked mortified, and Jake was feeling pretty much the same. Finally, Charlie swung around and fixed Jake with the death stare of doom. "You're such a…."
He couldn't even finish the sentence.
Jake felt the urge to laugh, but knew that'd be a horrible thing to do.
Jake coughed to muffle a snort of laughter. He couldn't help himself. Thankfully, Charlie was distracted and didn't realize what it really was. Billy did, though, and he gave Jake his raised eyebrow look, though his own mouth was twitching.
"You use police-issue handcuffs of all things? On my daughter? And then lose the key. Stupid teenage boys," he muttered angrily.
"I would've thought you'd have more sense than that," Charlie added as an aside to Bella, who was staring at her hands as if they were the most fascinating thing in existence.
Billy leaned back in his wheelchair, examining them like he was suddenly very concerned with the whole situation. "Jake, I thought I taught you better. You should've just broken the headboard and got her out of there and made a run for it."
Jake did snort then; he couldn't help it. Even Bella had a ghost of a smile on her face.
Charlie glared at Billy and snapped, "You're not helping. He's a defiler!"
Billy laughed then. "Oh come on, Charlie. They're kids. Cut them some slack."
Surprised, Jake glanced up to stare at his dad. What was this?
Charlie huffed again. "They're having, you know… sex… and he handcuffs her to her bed? And then I have to hear that he handcuffed her to the bed when I'm called by accident? Not to mention there's no way in hell I'm going to go home and give them the key, so I have to send my Deputy to do it?"
He was getting all bent out of shape again. Poor Bella was turning fire-engine red again, and Jake was feeling a bit warm himself.
Billy snickered. "Charlie, you do remember your own youth, don't you? How you chased that cute little Margaret around for the summer. And then you were getting frisky in a canoe of all things, and then capsized it? You had to be rescued by Old Quil and he had to drag your sorry, naked ass in along with Margaret?"
Charlie's face was red now. Jake bit down on his lip to keep from laughing. Charlie Swan was as clumsy as him and Bella?
"Okay, okay, shut up, William," he muttered. "You made your point."
Charlie sighed huffily and sat down. "Fine."
"And you can go camping overnight with your friends tonight," he muttered resentfully. Jake raises his eyebrows in surprise.
He realized that as annoying as his dad had been lately, he was giving them an out. He smiled gratefully at him. Billy gave him a wink. "Thanks, Chief Swan," Jake said respectfully. "We'll be careful, I mean…you know, in the woods. Nothing out of the, uh, ordinary will happen."
Billy shook his head, snickering. Charlie eyed him, a dangerous glint in his eye. "Hurt her? Dead. Remember. Now go."
When Charlie Swan spoke to him in monosyllables he knew to make a run for it. He grabbed Bella's hand and they bolted. "Never speak of this again," Bella gasped. He agreed whole-heartedly.
So, that night they met up with the guys and their girlfriends and headed out into the woods to camp near the falls. It was the perfect night for it; clear and chilly enough to snuggle. He was going to snuggle Bella's boobs all night. They pitched their tents, ignoring the guys bantering.
"Bets on who makes the loudest sex noises!" Quil declared.
They all looked over at him. So… he gave them the finger.
"It'll be Paul, hands down," Embry declared, sticking up for Jake. "Gorillas make a lot of noise."
Mia was blushing, but she was getting used to the ribbing. Paul's fist bunched and Jake snickered. "Calm down, cowboy. You picked on me plenty. Take the hits like a man. Not like a gorilla."
Laughing, they were all watching Paul as he struggled with remaining calm or pouncing.
When the chaos died down, they all went swimming at the falls. It was cold, but Jake made sure to stay near Bella so she'd benefit from his werewolf heat. It helped make the water temperature more comfortable. Ghost stories were told around the campfire afterward as they ate.
"Watch out for ghoulies," Quil teased Bella, sneaking up behind her to poke her in the sides, making her jump in fright.
Jake punched him in the head for her.
Once they were safely nestled in their tent with enough space between the rest of the pack for some privacy, Jake tugged Bella closer to him. It didn't matter if she was practically on top of him. It wasn't close enough. "You think this is a good idea with them not so far away?"
Jake shrugged. "Well, I want you, and if I don't have you, my cock might shrivel up and die."
Bella giggled. "Like that would ever happen. Mr. I-Can-Get-It-Up-Wherever-And-Whenever."
He thrust his hips up. "You know it, baby."
She smirked, so he flipped her over and went to town. When his mouth finally found her bare breasts, he blew a raspberry, making her giggle again. He had his hand down her pants when he had an idea. "Hey, Bells? Talk dirty to me, okay?"
She looked surprised and a little embarrassed. "Um… really? I don't think I'd be very good at that."
"Give it a try," he urged her. "Please?"
So, to help her along, he knelt back and began to slowly unbutton his belt. "What am I doing, dirty girl?"
She flushed. "Um, taking your pants off. And your underwear, so you can release the beast."
He muffled a snort of laughter. "And why am I taking my underwear off?"
He couldn't help it; he cracked up and so did she. "Gee, Bells, that wasn't the kind of dirty talk I was thinking of," he snickered.
She grinned and looped her arms around his neck. Jake lifted one of her legs high in the air, spreading them, and he gave one, long lick. Mmmmm. It's like a warm, fuzzy peach. He just sighed when she muffled a laugh. He was getting used to this by now. He continued, eliciting little squeaking sounds from her. When her legs began to shake around his neck, he was close. He'd need to hurry, too, or she was going to cut off his air supply.
When she came, he moved up, and grabbed a condom. He managed to sling-shot it yet again in his haste and gave her a look when she slapped a hand over her mouth. "Har har," he muttered. He grabbed another, got it on, and drove into her like the jack hammer of love that he was. He could hear the sounds of love coming from other tents nearby.
Confused, he glanced up after h is first few thrusts. There were weird squeaking sounds, getting louder, and he realized Bella was so into it she didn't realize she sounded like some kind of mouse on steroids. He was about to lay a hand over her mouth, but just then he saw an actual mouse wiggle into the tent, followed by another.
He came just as his body tried to jerk away from her, knowing she'd damage him when she saw them. Bella's eyes opened, caught sight of the mice, and squealed. She leapt on him, but he was still spraying a bit. Damn, it's sticky!
He caught her, stumbling into the side of the tent, taking it down in a tangle of limbs, poles, and material. Everyone was out of their tent, laughing, as Bella screeched, "Mouse! Get it away from me!"
Thank God they were covered. All the girls were screeching now, though. He yelled, "Look out! There's a gorilla!"
Paul's eyes narrowed as they all began laughing at that. The evening ended in an all-out wrestling match, followed by a more successful round of hide the salami when all was calm again.
AN: And that, folks, is the end! I hope you enjoyed this one and thanks for sticking with me all the way through this. :o) Drabble series are definitely not out of the question as far as fic-writing goes, and I know someone mentioned something about sex after babies, but if I come up with a slightly different idea I feel can work with that for a drabble series…then there might be more. :o)