Disclaimer: I do not own most of the ER characters. I do however owe part of the Abby Lockhart character. I bought one of her toes on Ebay or at least I was told it was one of her toes. That toe will feature predominately in an upcoming fic entitled, 'I Just Don't Toe'. I do not know when this fic will be available as there are currently a few creative problems but hopefully I will find a way to write a 20-chapter story from the point of view of one toe. I will prove to the world, and my mate Paul, that it can be done.

Warning: I am aware of the fact that not everyone in this world is as comfortable with so-called 'toilet humour' as me. So this is to warn those people, who offended by said humour, not to read any further. And especially not to read chapters 2 and 3 since they are really crude. In fact I recommend that everyone skip those chapters, as they are probably too crude to be viewed by anyone. I hope that this warning will help people to avoid the crude toilet humour that I find so amusing. People should not read words such as 'anal', 'leprosy', 'ass', 'broom' and of course 'urinary tract' if they don't want too. Thank you for your time I am sure it could have been better spent.

Chapter 1

Outside night was drawing its dark hand over the streets and alleys, all in complete silence. It fought a running battle with the streetlights for control of the streets. The beams coming from these man-made steel poles were just enough to keep the darkness at bay. However no one inside county general noticed this eternal struggle. They were busy trying to win a battle of their own. A man had been bought in with severe abdominal injuries sustained from a horrific road accident. There had been a pile-up and this guy had been driving the vehicle that had caused it. He was a lorry driver who had been running late, so he had decided to take some pills and try to make up the time at night. The result was an accident that involved fifteen cars and two other lorries. Emergency services were quickly on the scene but as with most road accidents the injured had to be cut out of their cars. This took time, time that many of them didn't have. The first batch of injured were bought to county with a message to expect more, a lot more. In a slice of irony that life seems to be so full of the lorry driver had been the first to be cut free and so the first to arrive at county. Despite this piece of luck the man was in serious danger of losing the battle. The team of doctors and nurses worked franticly on him but he seemed to be doing little good. After a while one of the doctors stopped what he was doing, a female nurse noticed this, "Carter what's the matter?"

He replied looking straight into her big brown eyes, "This isn't working. We need to do a [insert complex surgical procedure] and we need to do it now!"

The other doctor had also stopped what he was doing and said with a strong accent, "We can't do that down here. Neither of us is qualified."

"I'm qualified. I have done one before when I was a med student."

"That was years ago. We have to get this guy stable enough so he can go upstairs."

"And this will do that."

"It's too dangerous."

"This man will die if we don't try it."

"Abby? Do you think we should do it?" He turned to the nurse standing on the opposite side of the patient.

She looked up at him and said with a calmness that seemed out of place, "We have to try."

Even though nurses usually don't have any said in the care of a patient in trauma this response appeared to convince the doctor. "Okay, we'll try it."

After a couple of tense minutes and several very nervous moments the procedure was completed and the patient visibly improved. The alarms, that had not a short while ago been screaming, were silent. The foreign doctor, known as Luka Kovac, was the first to speak. He turned to the other doctor and said, "Good job, Carter." These words don't convey the true amount of respect that this doctor was showing.

The other doctor, called John Carter, replied without looking up, "Thanks."

Kovac went out of the room after giving the nurse, Abby Lockhart, a few instructions about the patient's care. Carter and Abby were left alone with the unconscious person lying on the bed in front of them. It was a while before one of them spoke and that person was Abby, "Real good job, Carter."

This time he did look up, "Did you think I could do it?"

"Honestly, no."

"As long as we are being honest neither did I."

"You didn't? But you sounded so sure of yourself."

A grin crossed his face, "That's what you get from taking acting classes."

"You took acting classes? You truly are a renaissance man. Was this before or after you took dancing classes?"


"What other classes did you take?"

"I'm not saying."

"Oh, come on. Art class? Pottery? Ten ways to kill a guy with only your bare hands?"

"There were actually only five ways."

"Oh really." They were both smiling by now. "Think you could take me?"

"I don't know. They didn't tell us how to attack women."

"Why does that matter?"

"Women fight in a different way to men. They tend to use the nails a lot more and they are more likely to go for the groin area."

"Men don't go for the groin?"

"Nope. It's against the male code of honour."

"Men have a code of honour?"

"Oh yeah. We are given it on our tenth birthday. It covers a lot of subjects. There is the no hitting the groin rule. Don't steal your best mate's girlfriend unless she is really hot. The same goes for mothers, sisters and possibly even aunts."

"How come I haven't heard about this code?"

"We kept it a secret."

"Will you be in trouble for telling me?"

"I'll tell them you beat it out of me."

Abby let out a laugh that was a lot louder than she had intended. This in turn made Carter smile, he thought she looked so cute when she laughed. However the laugh had attracted the attention of a Dr Weaver. She immediately started to shout at them for wasting the hospital's time and they should go treat some patients or get new jobs. After she was gone Carter looked at Abby and said, "That was all your fault."

"My fault?"

"You're the one who laughed."

"You made me."

"Next time you should try and restrain yourself more."

"There is going to be a next time?"

"Sure. You think you can resist my witty humour? I think not."

"You are not as funny as you think you are."

"Am I as funny as you think I am?"

She left the room without answering the question but with a smile on her face.