"For the last time Sherlock, it isn't murder."
"Of course it is," Sherlock countered, frowning slightly, "It has to be."
Lestrade sighed heavily; this is what you get for involving Sherlock in a case before knowing all the details. Of course it would turn out that there was a perfectly logical and obvious solution. And of course Sherlock would dispute it instantly.
"It's just an unfortunate death of some poor sod who got sick," Lestrade tried again, "The body's been examined; there were no signs of murder, but plenty of signs of illness."
Sherlock glared at him, "They've examined the body. I've seen his house. I've actually been investigating, which is what your lot should have done when they first found it. Not that their investigations would have uncovered anything of actual importance. Give me five minutes with the body and I'll prove it."
"Can't do that," Lestrade said simply.
"What? Why...," Sherlock began to ask before noticing the look on Lestrade's face. Eyebrows not raised and mouth not set – no major facial changes to affirm authority. Therefore not forbidding me to see the body, just stating a fact. "What's happened to it?" he asked.
"We don't have it anymore. There was something odd about the illness he died from, so it's been sent to America for a post-mortem investigation," Lestrade explained.
"Why America? We have me here. I could have performed the post-mortem," Sherlock said, irritated.
" Apparently that's where the best medical diagnostics team is," replied Lestrade, "And you're not a doctor, you're a consulting detective."
"Are you implying that my intelligence is limited to only one field?"
"No, I'm..." Lestrade stopped himself from arguing; it wasn't worth it, "Look, the important thing is that we don't have the body anymore, and therefore you can't view it. Case closed."
"Having a case closed is not the same as having it solved. Get me clearance," Sherlock demanded.
"Get me clearance to see the body. Where it is doesn't matter so long as they haven't tampered with it."
"I don't know if I can..."
"Yes you do."
Lestrade hesitated. He knew he could get Sherlock clearance to go to America and see the body for himself, but he wasn't sure if he should.
"I'll only be gone for a few days, I'm sure you can deal with crime without me for that length of time."
A few days! A few days without Sherlock there to undermine his every decision and make his police force look like idiots!
"Fine, I'll get you clearance," Lestrade decided, "But don't mess anything up. Don't do anything to the body without explicit permission from whoever's in charge of it."
"Why would I do that?" asked Sherlock with a small smile, "Unless it was absolutely necessary, of course."
"And get John clearance too."
"What? Oh, fine," Lestrade said, giving up on trying to reason with him, "Anything else?"
"Yes. Tell me where it is I need to go, exactly."