notes: wanna know something funny? i wrote this almost a month ago to start writing but didn't have time or didn't have any urge to write it but i was planning on making some kind of baby shower for lucy and natsu. and with that written with 380 words, people started posting reviews about how they wanted a chap with a baby shower. shows how much my fans and i think alike. :) x

"No, I don't want a baby shower, Natsu. Baby showers cost money and I don't have time or money for this because I don't want a baby shower and I just want to eat but I'm getting fat and I'm afraid you might leave me after I give birth because I'm fat then you'll run off into the sunsets with another girl because I'm fat and I'm not as hot as I used to be and are you even listening to me?! Natsu Dragneel! I knew it! You hate me! OH, now you probably think I'm ugly as well, don't you?! You probably regret getting married to me now, aren't you, Natsu?! You are! Damn it, I knew I shouldn't have gotten involved with you in the first place! You're the worst of the worst, mister! And now I'm seven months pregnant with your child because you couldn't keep your dick in your pants and why aren't you responding?! Do you hate me that much?! Do you regret getting married to me?! Huh?! HUH?!"

Sobbing into her palms as the couple drove back home, Natsu felt utterly uncomfortable and highly frustrated as he had a tight grip on the steering wheel.

He didn't know what the hell was even wrong with the blonde next to him but he knew that his son was fucking with her hormones and it was driving him crazy. It wasn't even in a straight line, it went in some zig-zag form that it went from happy to sad to angry to upset to happy and he didn't know how much longer he could deal with.

She was violently hormonal—worse than before.

"No, Lucy, I love you."


"I never said that!" He threw his hands in the air in confusion and utter frustration as he tried his best to keep his eyes on the road. "Lucy, please, you're freaking out over nothing."

"Don't tell me I'm fat!"

"Does my words go through one ear and out the other?"

"You're divorcing me now?!"

Natsu just wanted to slam his head into the rear door.

"Baby, calm down. I love you and I wouldn't trade you for anyone else in the world. You and Iggy mean everything to me and I promise I'll take care of you two and make sure you're properly loved and—Lucy?!" He cried out as he watched how the blonde fumbled with her seat-belt and the door, trying to get out while he was driving making him slam on the breaks and park in the corner of the street to grab the hands on his wife. "Lucy, what's wrong with you?!"

"Y—you hate me, anyways! I just... it's best if I go, Natsu." She cried making him let out a loud sigh as he shot daggers at her swollen stomach.

Just you wait, Iggy, I'm going to get you back...

"No, darling, I love you. Besides, I have a present waiting for you at home. You love presents, don't you?" He cooed in a soft calming voice making the tears stop streaming and the eyes of the blonde widen as she stared at her husband. "I bet there's cake, too."

"Cake!" She cried out in joy as a beautiful smile appeared on her face making him let out a sigh of relief and a smile also take over his handsome face.

"Yes, cake. So, could we please hurry and get home before you do anything stupid like jump out of a moving car?"

"Okay!" She agreed happily, obediently sitting in her seat as she cradled her large stomach in her arms.

Natsu let out a sigh of relief as he put the car back in drive and drove all the way back to their home without anymore complications. He was glad he made it to their house before he went crazy because he was already tired of Lucy's pregnancy.

It plucked nerves that he didn't even know about.

He loved his son and all but he knew he was going to be a little devil—he could just see it. Lucy shouldn't be this violent... Lisanna wasn't as violent as she is.

Running a hand through his messy locks, the male got out of the car and went to the other side to open the door for his wife, carefully helping her get out of the vehicle. "See? We're already home." He grinned, shutting the door shut as he grabbed her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Now, all we just need to do is going inside and—"

"I know what to do, Natsu. Don't treat me like I'm a child," the blonde scoffed as she let go of the hand of her husband to walk away leaving him standing there in pure silence. "are you just going to stand there all day or what?"

Letting out a sigh of frustration, he put a forced smile up and walked towards her as he looked for their house-key.

Oh, Iggy was so going to get it.

Opening the door of their house, Lucy was first to step inside as poppers suddenly went off and screams of surprise! echoed through the house leaving her screaming and clutching onto her husband for dear life. Natsu only laughed nervously as he felt his wife hold him tightly and the blood circulation in his arm disappear.

"S—surprise baby..."

"W—what is this, Natsu?"

"It's your baby-shower, silly!" Lisanna suddenly came up holding her one year old in her arms, smiling beautifully as Lucy quirked a brow at her before looking back at her husband.

" shower?"

"Oh look, Lucy, there's cake!" Natsu suddenly shouted, trying to get the anger and confusion washed away as the blonde whipped her head to where he was pointing to see a relatively large blue and red cake on their kitchen island table. She immediately let go and went over to where it was, greeting her friends as she went.

And for the millionth time that day, Natsu let out another deep sigh.

Lisanna whipped her head to the side and eyed her childhood friend as a small smug smirk crawled up her lips. "Not easy being the baby-daddy, huh?"

"No kidding..." He muttered as he made a silly face for Lance who squealed and reached out towards his uncle making the pink-haired male scoop him up in his arms. "Aren't you a nice little baby? Yes you are! Too bad your little cousin is being a pain in the—"

"Natsu!" Lisanna scowled making him laugh and waved her off. "I hope you weren't going to curse in front of my son."

"No, no. I was just going to say butt," he lied as he pressed the chubby baby against his warm chest. "anyways, I was wondering... why is Lucy so violent and crazy when you really weren't? You were really clingy when you were pregnant but Lucy's like... the devil." He muttered making Lisanna laugh out loud and slap his shoulder repeatedly making him stand there and jerk time to time as she hit him.

"Oh, you're so funny, Natsu!"

"I wasn't trying to be funny."

"All pregnant women act differently! We have the same symptoms but we all have different sides to ourselves!" She explained making him sigh and bounce the baby in his arms. "And I think Lucy is very cute when pregnant."

"Yeah, well, she's a pain, too. Did you know what I had to deal with coming home? My words went through one ear and went out the other ear like dam—"He kept the word going on as he noticed the glare Lisanna was throwing his way making him change his word. "D—damsel... er, dancing. Like... uh—I'm going to go and help Erza cut cake so uh, here." He quickly handed Lance back to the white-haired woman before making a bee-line to where his wife was.

Muttering curse words under his breath, he made sure to remember to keep his words in check before Igneel was born.

"You look like somebody woke you up from a good sleep, flame-head. You look dead." Gray said once he was ear-shot distance making the pink-haired male narrow his eyes as he divided plates out. "Is daddy Natsu tired?"

"Shut up, snow-cone. You don't know one thing concerning parenting or taking care of a pregnant woman so go fuc—"He caught the eye of Lisanna once more making him change his words up, again. "Fudge. Fudge yourself and eat yourself like mother—trucker. You're a piece of poop, I hate you." Natsu cursed under his breath as he felt the burning gaze of his childhood friend.

Gray just stood there in complete confusion and wonder as he eyed his best friend who struggled for words.

"Why are you using words like a four year old? Did being a daddy make you change into some kind of fucked up pussy?"

And suddenly a hand came crashing down on the male's head and his head jerked forward making Natsu snort and take a step back as Lisanna growled. "Do not curse while there is a child in here!" She shouted making the color drain from Gray's face. "He is starting to learn words and if his first word is a curse word, I will have both your heads on a platter!"

"Hey, your stupid husband has a worse mouth than us!" Gray defended himself making Laxus throw him a dirty look as he helped with cake. "Go hit him!"

"Oh, he learned. He was smart enough to use words that was kid-friendly unlike you two." She hissed making Natsu raise his hand up in reasoning as Gray rolled his eyes. "I expect you two to start, now. Natsu, Lucy isn't going to be happy with you using words like that around Igneel,"

"Damn right," Lucy said behind the three as she scooped up chunks of cake after another.

Natsu and Gray both gawked as they noticed how Lisanna didn't say anything that time, the two pointing at the female behind her but she only scoffed and planted her hands on her hips. "Puh—lease. Lucy is pregnant so she can do whatever she wants."

"Yeah so shut your mouths and be good boys and listen to Lisanna." The blonde said as she licked her spoon, grinning wickedly making the two curse under their breaths and sigh in defeat.

Soon, Gray left to go find Juvia to complain about Lisanna while Natsu went over to where his wife was to sit in front of her.

"How's the cake?" He asked as he plopped himself down in front of her making her present her spoon out towards him making him gawk in surprise. "You're offering me cake?"

"Shut up and eat it before I change my mind," the blonde nudged her husband as a small smile danced on her lips. "or before my hormones act up and I start crying about how you stole my cake when I offered."

"So you do know how bad you act," the husband snorted as he took the spoonful of cake into his mouth, happily chewing. "do you also know what happened in the car?"

"Yeah, yeah, you can tease me all you want but we all know who's at fault, here."

"Yep, it's Iggy."

"Thanks to his idiotic father, we all know who he's going to be more like with the way he's making me act."

"Oh, so you're saying I'm an idiot?"

"You are an idiot, Natsu." The pregnant woman sighed as she continued to spoon feed herself more cake. "Let's just hope our son isn't as reckless as you, yeah?"

"That's fine with me. We can make many kids, Luce. Three babies—ten, even!"

"Yeah, yeah, keep dreaming, bud. It's not going to happen." Lucy rolled her eyes making Natsu pout.

"I, for one, would love ten grandkids!" Igneel suddenly came over, grinning from ear-to-ear as he held a red plate full of cake. "That would be so much fun!" He said excitedly as he looked over at Natsu who was grinning as well before the two male Dragneel's looked over at the female Dragneel. "Imagine how fun it would be! I'm willing to babysit, Lucy."

"Oh, no, father, that would be necessary! I'm just planning on have two or three..." She laughed, waving her arms in the air in front of her as the two instantly began to pout.

It never occurred to Lucy how much the two act like one another. They were like twins even though they weren't related in any sort of way.

Looking at how the two pouted and acted like complete kids, Lucy glanced her way at Erza who was right by them cutting cake. She pleaded her with her expression and the scarlet-haired women nodded, understanding what she wanted.

"Alright, how about we open presents?"

"OH! You have to open mine first, Lu! You have to!" Levy shouted out first when she heard the words come out of Erza's lips making everyone stare in surprise.

The blue-haired College student came up and plopped a large box in front of her making Lucy grin and pull the wrapper off gently.

"Just rip it open, Luce." Natsu said impatiently making his wife shoot him a look as she opened the present up nicely.

Once opened, the blonde opened the top and peeked inside to pull out multiple books, toys, a blanket, and a large collection of block letters.

"Of course Levy would buy baby Igneel anything that consists of reading," Gray commented making everyone laugh as Levy flushed, scowling slightly. "I bet you're going to buy him his first book."

"Gray, don't be mean!" Lucy scolded as she held the box of presents close to her, smiling widely at her best friend. "I love it, Levy! Thank you so much!" She cried out happily making the scowl disappear and a large bright smile appear.

"I'm glad you love it, Lu!"

"OH! OH! I'm next! I'm next!" Lisanna said excited as she shoved Natsu to the side even though he wasn't really in the way, grinning from ear to ear as she heard the yelp and crash. "Open mine, Lucy!" She cried out as she heard Natsu curse from behind her.

"Damn it, Lis, that seriously wasn't necessary!"

"Oops," she shrugged carelessly as she sat in the seat Natsu was seating in before he was pushed away. "open mind, Lu! I just loved shopping for this!"

"God, I'm scared to." She giggled slightly as she pulled on the blue ribbon that held the box together. When it came undone, she opened the top of the box and looked inside to see sets of one-piece pajama's and clothes. And right in the middle was a cute bib that had my aunt is hotter than yours written in it making the blonde laugh out loud as Natsu snorted, holding it up to show the rest.

Laughter filled the air and Lucy couldn't help but have a large wide grin on her beautiful face.

"Thanks Lisanna, I love it!" She thanked the beauty before turning to look at a basket that had a clear wrapping around it to protect it from anything else. But inside of it, it was a red dragon plush toy that sat there quietly along with a book that looked pretty old and worn out.

She was about to reach for it but Natsu was quick to grab it and look directly at his father.

"This one is from you, isn't it?" He said making Igneel offer a soft smile towards his way.

"I'm glad you remember the book, Natsu. I used to read it to you and Gray all the time."

"Wait, no way! Is it that book?!" Gray suddenly shouted from somewhere in the room before appearing right up front, grabbing the basket to gaze into it. His eyes widened and a wide grin spread across his face, looking up to look at his father-figure, Igneel. "I thought you lost this book."

"It was somewhere in the attic when I found it. I thought I would pass it on to my grandchildren and of course, Natsu being the first to become a father, I decided to hand it off to you."

"What about to dragon?"

Chuckling at his question, Igneel grinned making him look slightly older than he looked. "What kind of Dragneel doesn't own something dragon related?"

Feeling the nostalgia and happiness spread inside his chest, Natsu launched himself into his father's arms and embraced him tightly making Igneel yelp in surprise.

"Thank you... dad. Thank you so much, I love you."

Everyone in the room cooed and clapped for the two as sobs were heard. It didn't come from neither Natsu nor Igneel making everyone else become slightly appalled but when they saw Lucy crying up a storm, the two males quickly went to her aid.

"I love you both." She sobbed making the two Dragneels laugh and cradle her gently. "I want more cake."

"I got you covered," Erza said as she handed her blonde best friend another plate of sweets. "and while I'm giving you that, here's my and Jellal's present." She offered a proud smile, stepping out of the way to have Jellal push some box into the view.

The blonde's eyes widen when she saw the knight-like crib that was presented,her jaw going slightly ajar.

"A crib!"

"Erza, this was way too much. You shouldn't have!"

"Well, I couldn't really think of anything to buy so Jellal suggested a crib. You're welcome. No return or exchanges." She smirked, crossing her arms over her chest to look smug making Natsu grin widely and Lucy cry up another storm. She hugged Erza so tightly that the woman actually looked breathless making everyone pull the blonde off of the scarlet knight.

It was the first time anyone has seen her so scared.

"Okay, it's time for the best present, alright? Here's mine, Lucy." Gray said as he handed Lucy a bag that had small snowflakes dancing around it. "I didn't really know what to get a child so don't cry when you see what it is."

"It can't be that bad, right?" Lucy asked as Natsu leaned in to peek inside the bag to see that it was.

They expected it to be something worst but when Lucy pulled out the gift that was inside, they realized it was a mobile. The mobile had little icicles, snowballs, and other ice-related things dangling on it making Lucy grin widely as Natsu furrowed his brows in confusion.

"Why is it all icy and snow-ish?"

"Why not? Would you prefer like, fireballs or something?"

"Well yeah—"

"Juvia's turn!" Juvia piped up as she pushed Natsu away from her precious boyfriend to hand Lucy a gift bag. "Juvia had to search all over the store for this one!" She said proudly. "Juvia hopes you like it!"

Pulling the box out of the gift bag, Lucy looked at the picture to gasp.

It was a small turtle that flashed pretty colors and played sounds such as ocean waves or waterfalls to allow the baby to fall asleep quicker. Lucy was hoping to buy one of those ever since she saw it online and Juvia read her mind perfectly making the blonde grin widely.

"Thank you so much, Juvia! I've been waning to buy this!"

"Juvia is glad you like it!"

"Gray, she's a keeper! Good job!" Lucy squealed while looking at Gray who made some kind of face of confusion as the blonde turned towards her husband. "Natsu, look! Look! It's that sound motion thing I wanted!"

"Geez, you're so excited." He chuckled as he placed his hands on her shoulders. "It's not even for you."

"I know but it's for Iggy and I'm just so happy!" She cried out happily before turning towards her friends and father-in-law to grin widely. "Thank you all so much!"

They all returned the gesture and soon, Lucy was eating another piece of cake.

"Well damn, that went better than expected." Gray sighed as he watched the pregnant woman gobble up another piece of cake as Natsu agreed, the two standing by the island as Gajeel joined in all of a sudden. "Hey, look, you're here, too."

"Shut up you fuckers. I was practically dragged here."

"Nobody invited you, anyways." The rosy-haired deadpanned making the pierced male growl and glare. "The doors that way."

"Fuck you, you damn—!"

"D... da... mn..." A new voice suddenly joined in the conversation making the three male's stiffen at the sound.

The three adults slowly turned around to see who it was and the color drained from all of their faces as they realized it was Lance who was sitting on top of the kitchen island all alone. He stared at them with wide innocent eyes making it worse.

"Da... mn." He repeated. "Damn."

"N—n—no! That's a bad word, Lance! Don't ever say that word, again!" Natsu cried out as he realized that if he went around saying that word, Lisanna was going to have his head on the platter. Especially since this was Lance's first real word. "Don't say that word every again, okay?!"


"L—Lance! That... don't say that around mommy! Try saying, uh, dad! Yeah! Dada works, too!" Gray freaked out as Gajeel stood there quietly, his jaw wide in shock. "Where is Laxus?! Shouldn't he be watching this kid?!"

"Forget about him! We're dead meat if Lisanna hears Lance!"

"Hears what?"

"L—Lisanna!" Gray sputtered as the three turned around to see the white-haired mother standing there with her arms crossed over her chest and a look of confusion plastered on her face. "W—where did you come from?! Uh... have you seen Laxus?!"

"He's in the bathroom."

"Oh! Uhm, we just wanted to tell him... uh, to... to change Lance's diaper!"

"Oh, well, if that's the case, I can do that." she took a step forward towards her son but as soon as she came too close, the three built a wall with their bodies to hide the baby behind them.

"N—no! You, uh, go watch Lucy!"

"But Lance needs a diaper change—?"

"We were lying! Uh, Lucy, uh, she wants cake and err, we'll take care of Lance, okay?!" Natsu laughed nervously as he hid the gurgling child behind him as his childhood friend eyed him and the other two weirdly.

After a while of silence, Lisanna stepped towards the rosy-haired male and shoved him to the side to have the three scream in fear. They tried to stop the mother but it was too late when Lisanna leaned in towards her giggling son to hear the word come out of his mouth.


And just like that, the three became pale and ran for their lives as Lisanna screamed about how she was going to kill all three of them.

In the end, Lance's first word was a bad word.

notes: i love violent pregnany lucy, hahaha. sorry for the delay, lovlies! I was slacking, like always. but it's up now and i hope you guys liked it!
notes2: school offically starts in 20 days... urgh.
notes3: leave a lovely review?