Disclaimer: I don't own or have any association with Pokemon.

"So Gary, Flint and Volkner are really cool! Volkner was in a depression for a while, but Flint and I helped him out a few years ago. He's still the toughest gym leader in Sinnoh, and Flint is still a strong member in the Elite Four. They're really, really strong! And now that I've travelled all over the place and almost beat the Unova League, I think this battle will be amazing! I mean, tag battles are seriously fun, but being able to do one with you and being against those two, it'll be amazing!" Ash cheered, and paused to grin at Gary before continuing to ramble on about the pair and how they stopped poachers or something.

Gary honestly didn't care about the two of them. He was just glad that Ash was with him, and the two were going to be on the same team. And, he had resolved earlier that if they won the match, he'd ask Ash out. After fifteen years of crushing hard over the other boy, he thought it was about time to make a move.

And if they lost, well, he'd promote himself from best friend to boyfriend some other time.

If he didn't get rejected.

Which could very well happen.

And his heart would be broken.

And Ash would hate him.

And his grandfather would be disgusted.

And a thousand other horrible things.

But he wasn't going to think about that now. Gary was an optimist at the moment, thank you very much, and planned on staying that way until Ash was his. Well, not really his, because the thought of owning another person kind of disturbed him, but you get the point.

"Here! That's Volkner's house, right there!" Ash pointed out, and grabbed Gary's hand in order to drag the taller boy along. The Pokémon researcher had moments to recover and hide the blush on his face before his companion rang the doorbell.

There was, sadly, no answer.

"…Are you sure this is the right house?" Gary asked.

"Yes! This is the address Volkner gave me," Ash said, looking slightly deflated. "And he said he'd be around today and would be happy to battle us…"

Gary hummed and reached for the doorknob, which was unlocked. "Maybe something happened…?"

"I dunno," Ash said, and headed inside. "Come on. Let's look around."

Gary shrugged and followed his best-friend-soon-to-be-boyfriend.

A few minutes of searching later and still nothing was found.

"Maybe upstairs?" Gary suggested, pointing toward the staircase.

He quickly regretted that decision though, hearing muffled creaks and groans as they got closer to the bedroom.

"Um… Ash, I wouldn't go in there," he said, grabbing Ash's hand.

Ash huffed. "Why? He promised a battle today," the stubborn teenager said and pushed the door open.

Oh Arceus no, Gary thought, face instantly burning as he saw something even worse than what he expected.

It was Volkner… doing things, like he thought, but it was with… Flint.

"ASH SHIELD YOUR EYES!" the melodramatic researcher shouted and leapt onto his best friend while the adults in the room cursed and swore.

"Flint, you bastard, I told you they were coming for a tag battle today!" Volkner snapped at his lover, scrambling under some bed sheets. "Now hand me my pants! Shit, Ash, I'm sorry, I told him no but he wouldn't frigging listen!"

"Oh come on, you caved in after two minutes," Flint grumbled. "Not my fault you decided to wear skinny jeans today-"

"Just shut up and get dressed!" Gary wailed.

Volkner and Flint quickly comply.

"Um… Gary, you can get off of me now," Ash mumbled, and the researcher slowly rolls off of him. "Uh… Sorry about that, Volkner and Flint. I… um… Gary can be kind of melodramatic at times."

"Oh my Arceus," Gary grumbled, burying his face in his hands.

"Well, you screamed like a little girl at them to get dressed!" Ash pointed out. "That requires an apology."

"Ash… did you even know what they were doing?" Gary asked, slightly exasperated. Flint and Vollkner turn an even brighter shade of red as Ash seems to think it through.

"Playing with Pokémon action figures," he concludes. "And because Flint specializes in fire-types, they pretended their clothes burned off."

You poor, uneducated naïve little boy, Gary, Volkner and Flint think in unison.

The group stood in awkward silence for a while before Flint shrugged and said, "Okay, well, I'd say we let him believe that. Now, I'm Flint, that's Volkner, and normally I'd shake your hand but it kind of has… dirt on it from action figures. If you give us five minutes, we'll be down at the gym if you still want to do the tag battle."

"Of course we want to!" Ash said. "See you there!"

Then, three hours later, Volkner and Flint admit defeat.

As soon as they're gone, Gary asks Ash out on a date.

And Ash said yes.

And then it turned out he had no idea that Gary meant romantically.

And then it turned out Ash felt the same way.

And years later they bought a villa in the Resort Area and raised two kids they adopted from Unova.

Then their kids grew up and they lived alone and grew old together and became famous and homophobia was practically nonexistent and it was amazing and flowers and rainbows and Rapidash were everywhere.

Did you know Rapidash are fiery unicorns?

This was just a random idea I had and kind of just scribbled out in half an hour. I found it funny and was like, "You know, I should, like, post something on FF and share my joy with the world."

Yes, this story is absolutely pointless. If it made you smile, laugh or feel mildly amused, then my job here is done.

If it made you like ignitionshipping, then GO WRITE SOME FANFICTION FOR THAT PAIRING SO I HAVE MORE TO READ!

Um... yeah. Hopefully you liked it.

And then there's a review button. Hopefully you like that thing too. Even if you don't review my story, go review someone else's. It'll make their day.