Title: The Guardian

Author: Jillian K.

Disclaimer: BTVS and all its characters are property of Joss Whedon and Mutant enemy. This fic is intended for entertainment purposes only.

Summary: Pre-BTVS. Drusilla brings home takeout and Spike has to deal with the consequences. Warning: uber-saccharine Spike up ahead.

The Guardian

Bloody Dru. When will that bint ever learn that vamps can't get takeout? The vampire way involves instant gratification and not playing with your food like a bleeding cat. But then again Drusilla is not one to do things by the book is she?

No, she had to bring dinner home and dinner was now wailing like siren demanding to be fed.

Bloody Dru.

I tried pulling the pillow over my head but my super sensitive vamp hearing picked up the cries none the less. My patience was wearing thin. I shook my partner of a hundred years but Dru had obviously decided to do the sleeping beauty bit and did not even flutter an eyelash.

Seeing that I would have to deal with the "problem" myself, I left the cocoon of my California King bed and went to the bundle of blankets half-buried on the dresser drawer.

I wasn't even hungry but I was willing to overlook that for peace's sake.

I unwrapped the bundle to get at its sweet delicious center. Even if I wasn't hungry I was still responsive to food and my fangs and ridges emerged.

And then it laughed.

It was completely unexpected sound. Tinkly and bell-like. Needless to say this is not the usual human reaction to a vampire but then again this was just a baby.

A very beautiful baby.

I don't know where Dru got her. I figured she ate the mum and brought the baby home for a later snack. Maybe she wanted a real-life doll for a change.

The bit's tiny hands waved in the air, making little excited circles. I had no idea what she found so fascinating about my vamp face. Maybe it reminded her of a family pet.

With my appetite completely dissolved and thoroughly amused child on my arms, I had no idea of what to do.

So I did what seemed to be the correct thing to do: Peekaboo.

The Spiked version of the game consisted in my going into vamp and human face alternatively. This cracked her up and her giggles turned into hearty laughs. I could no help but laugh along with her.

We did this for a few minutes. Afterwards she began to yawn and I followed suit. I moved her back to her makeshift crib but she began to whimper almost instantly. With a sigh I put her on the bed next to me.

She wriggled a bit but soon settled down. I had a feeling that the bit was accustomed to sleeping in a grownup cuddling next to her mom. I felt the stirrings of sadness but I managed to bury it away. It wouldn't do to feel for the prey.

So, amidst sugared infant smells and gurgles I felt asleep.


A few hours later the scent was not nearly as pleasing to my sensitive vamp nose.

The smell must have bothered Dru because she was nowhere to be found. I was tempted to eat the bit but I really couldn't get pass the smell.

Seeing that babies don't get clean by themselves, I had to make do with an old towel and Dru's scented powder. I was still cleaning up when the bit started crying loudly. Very loudly.

I had taken care of one need but I was seriously under-equipped to take care of the other. It was obvious that we had to do a spot of shopping.

Half-an hour later I found myself perusing through the baby aisle at the local A&P. Why had I thought that this would be simple? There were loads of choices, some downright diabolic. Somehow I managed to find the most harmless looking bottles, diapers and formula. I grabbed a box of wipes and baby powder just in case.

I was standing on line when a couple of bints started cooing over the bit. I was getting rather hungry by now but the market was too crowded a place to indulge. The bit, for her part, found the chicks mildly amusing and cooed.

I loaded the bit and her gear on the car and after stopping for a bite (literally) we were back home.

I was giving the bit her bottle, when Dru walked on us. She gave me a questioningly look and I shrugged.

After the feeding I replaced the towel with a fresh plastic diaper. The bit instantly started to yawn and I laid her in a cocoon on my side of the bed.

Then I turned to Dru. She had some explaining to do.

"Are you completely off your rocker? What possessed you to bring a baby here?"

Dru smiled mysteriously and walked to the bed. She peered into the bundle.

"I want her"

"Why? She's just a baby. Hardly worth the trouble for a nibblet"

"No, she's not just a baby. She's something else"

I was completely confused (par for the course when it came to dealing with my lady).

"What is she then?"
"A killer"

Bloody Hell. Dru pinched a Slayer.

Author's note: This is just a brief, fun respite from my other interminable fic. I wanted to do something different for a change. Tell me what you think.