Reisi looks straight ahead as the relieved cheers of his Clan wash over him. He doesn't even hear them or see their expressions; his eyes are clouded over with tears.
His fingers still have Mikoto's blood on them as he pulls out his spare glasses, hoping they will at least obscure his wet eyes even a little. He can't partake in his Clan's joy. He knows Saruhiko's thoughts about Kings being solitary lonely people. He has to agree. And he's just lost the only person who truly understands what it is to be in his position.
No one else was there to see the look on Mikoto's face as he opened his arms to embrace his death.
No one else could have felt the rush of emotions Reisi did as he understood Mikoto's unspoken plea.
No one else heard Mikoto's last words; no one else knows what it feels like to hold the only person who knows exactly how you think and feel as their life leaves them.
Reisi walks past his Clan in silence. He can faintly hear the chants of HOMRA in the background and he nearly loses his composure. He turns to look at them and chokes back a sob. Their auras glow red one last time and their marks float into the sky. For a moment, Reisi thinks he sees Mikoto's face in the sky, illuminated by the red glow.
The glow fades as reality crashes down on Reisi. It's as if he can feel Mikoto's presence in his life fading away with the glow in the sky. This time, he loses it and tears escape his eyes. He turns away and rubs at his face. He walks away from his Clan before he completely breaks down. He doesn't want to be seen like this.
He's crouched on the ground under a tree beside the bridge before he lets loose an inhuman cry of grief. He should have stabbed Mikoto from the back, driving his sword through both their chests. Then he wouldn't have to bear this terrible pain. He can't even take one more step forward with this burden he now has to carry. He'll never be able to wash off the blood that is now streaked over his face as well as he weeps.
He knows he shouldn't have been so fascinated by the fiery redhead, shouldn't have cared so much, shouldn't have these feelings. And yet, he does and he can't let go the same way the now former Red Clan have bid their farewell. Sobs wrack his frame as he tries to pinpoint where he went wrong in his attempts to save Mikoto. When did Mikoto go on this downward spiral that Reisi couldn't halt? Reisi desperately searches for answers he knows he can't find.
He feels a hand on his shoulder and he looks up into the very face he thought he'd never see again. The hand moves to cup his cheek and smooth away a tear. Reisi knows this is an apparition, a stupid childish fantasy of what he can never have. He leans into the warm palm and smiles slightly. He meets the apparition's eyes and nods. He needs to move on once he's grieved. But for now, this warm glow can sustain him through his mourning.
One last time, he looks into those amber eyes as the apparition fades. They're no longer tired and there is a fresh light in them. He resists calling out, asking Mikoto to stay. However much he wants to just hold on, he knows he can't. He's a King, and he needs to carry on his solitary way until his path crosses Mikoto's again. When they do, they'll spend eternity side by side.
For now though, as dawn comes, Reisi must go on as his mourning must turn to morning.
A/N: I just couldn't hold it in anymore. I need to move past denial and I guess this is my coping mechanism.