Just one more cut…
Blood streamed out of the deep gashes on the blond's wrists and stained the clothing the male wore.
Just a bit deeper…
The male whimpered as he sliced across the top of his arm, severing his flesh and leaving a disgusting gaping hole behind. He was feeling weak and dizzy and his ears were ringing. Everything was going black.
"Izuru!" Shouted the voice behind the bathroom door for probably the hundredth time. There was banging as the other male tried to break the door down like he had been for the past couple of minutes. "Izuru, unlock the door!"
Now's the time…
The male tilted his arm and rested the blade of his knife at his wrist. He hissed as he dragged it along his vein in a downwards motion.
You can't hurt me anymore… Gin…
The blond had lost consciousness right as the bathroom door was kicked in and a silver-haired man rushed immediately to him. Tears dripped down his face as he shakily pulled his phone from his pocket and dialled an ambulance.
"Izuru, no…" The silver-haired man hugged his lover tightly, rocking him back and forth as he cried. He pulled his shirt off and wrapped both the blond's arms in it, trying to stop the bleeding. He could only hope the ambulance would get here soon.
When the blond's eyes opened slowly, it was to white walls and a strangely numb sensation. He was only made aware of the hand holding his when he was jerked slightly to the side. He flinched and glanced beside him, finding the silver-haired male sitting in a chair next to his bed.
The blond's stomach dropped. He had tried to kill himself to escape from the very person who was holding his hand, but he had clearly failed in that attempt. He didn't want to live with the abuse and the torment and the pain that just living gave him. He couldn't handle the pain any longer; he just wanted to get away.
The blond looked up at his name. A single tear dripped down his cheek as he glanced up at a nurse. The woman wore a soft expression, but he couldn't bring himself to trust her.
The woman smiled. She had raven hair and it was braided and hung down her chest. "I'm Nurse Unohana. How are you feeling?"
Izuru tried to speak, but he couldn't do more than gasp wordlessly. The silver-haired male next to him squeezed his hand.
Unohana noticed this and looked at the skinny male. "May I ask your name?"
"Gin Ichimaru." The man spoke emotionlessly. "What's happenin' with Izuru?"
"Well, we've given him several blood transfusions and stitched his wrists up, but I'm going to organise some therapy for him. If he's done this, he may try it again unless he gets help. You are his partner, correct?"
"Does he have any next of kin?"
"No. Foster families…"
Unohana nodded in understanding. She moved over to Izuru's side and laid a gentle hand on the frail shoulder. She sent a reassuring smile his way.
"Not to worry." The nurse squeezed her patient's shoulder tenderly. "You'll be out of here in no time. I promise."
Izuru tried to smile back at her, but he couldn't seem to find the strength to do it. He sighed; this was going to be a long stay in the hospital.
Izuru looked at his boyfriend warily. He had just gotten out of the hospital and was sitting in Gin's car as the older drove them back to their apartment.
"Izuru, I…" Gin licked at his lips. He wanted to apologise, but he couldn't say those words, no matter how much he wanted to. He knew he would have to settle for the next best thing. "…What I do to ya... I know it's not right…"
Izuru flinched at these words and tensed. He tried to put more distance between them, but the car door wouldn't let him get far. Gin was unpredictable; any second the Ichimaru could be yelling and screaming at him, even physically abusing him, or… even raping him…
Gin didn't miss this and it only made him feel worse. He knew his precious blond deserved an explanation, but how was he supposed to tell his boyfriend that he didn't know how to love him…?
"Ya know 'bout Aizen…" Gin bit his lip as he thought of how he could talk about this. "…Ya know he took me in off the streets, right, Izuru?"
"Y-yes…" Izuru whispered as he ducked his head, not knowing where this was going.
"…I've told ya we didn't have the best relationship?"
Izuru nodded. "Yes, G-gin…"
"I haven't told ya 'bout how he 'bused and raped me…" Gin knew that Izuru had no idea about this, seeing as Gin was a very private person and never revealed much about himself.
Izuru's eyes widened at these words. He gasped and stared incredulously at his boyfriend. He… he had no idea…!
"…Gin, I…" A few tears slipped down his cheeks. He didn't know how to reply to such information. "…I-I…"
"I'm tellin' ya this 'cause I… I love ya, Izuru," Gin whispered. "…I just… don't know how ta show it…"
Izuru sniffed, trying to hold back his tears, but it was no use; he started to cry loudly.
Gin bit his lip. His first instinct was always to yell at Izuru to never cry and perhaps even hit him if he were in a bad enough mood, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it today. With a sigh, he reached out and rested his hand on Izuru's leg.
Izuru whimpered and pulled away, associating touches on his thighs with forced sex. He knew that he had hurt Gin's feelings because a murderous aura made itself known, but Ichimaru seemed to have restrained himself from doing or even saying anything.
The rest of the drive home was quiet, but once they stepped into their apartment, Gin spoke again. "I thought it was normal for me ta treat ya like shit, 'Zuru… It's what Aizen did ta me… I didn't know there was another way…"
Izuru stayed silent as he looked down at his feet.
Gin sighed and guided Izuru to the couch. He sat on the red material and pulled the younger onto his lap. He could feel Izuru quivering beneath his touch and did his best to not let it get to him.
The silver-haired male loved Izuru – he truly did – but he honestly didn't understand how to show it. He had never experienced affection from the one person in his life who had taken care of him – even if it were care in the most disgusting of ways.
"Izuru?" Gin's hands rested on the blond's hips. He squeezed tightly, wondering if he could solve everything with sex. He shook his head; Izuru probably didn't see sex as something that could be forced like he did. "Izuru, what can I do ta make ya happy?"
Izuru lifted his head slowly to look at his boyfriend. He wiped at his eye before he replied in a whisper. "…You could… hug me…"
"…Hug…?" Gin frowned; he had never had anything to do with hugs before. The only time he had even seen a hug was when he would watch the TV.
Izuru nodded. "…S-shuhei… gives me hugs…"
"Do ya like 'em…?" Izuru nodded warily. A small smile crossed Gin's face. "Then I guess that means I'll have ta give ya one."
Slowly, Gin reached out and wrapped his arms around his partner in uncertainty. He tightened his hold, not sure if he were doing it right or not, but Izuru moved so that his head was on Gin's shoulder.
"Am I doin' it right, little 'Zuru?" Gin asked.
"…J-just a bit… too tight…" Izuru whispered back. He smiled as Gin instantly loosened his hold. "That's perfect…"
Gin rested his chin on the blond locks. He thought about what had happened. Had he honestly been so cruel to Izuru that the younger wanted to end his life because of him…? If that were the case, then Gin would have to change – but he could only do that with Izuru's help.
"I promised myself I'd never turn out like him…" Gin whispered after a few minutes of silence. He felt Izuru shift slightly in his hold and spoke again. "Aizen. I didn't want ta be like him… I had been on the streets my entire life until he had taken me in… I-I didn't… I honestly had no idea what was s'pposed ta happen in a family… I thought it was normal for him ta beat me and force me inta sex… It was better than livin' on the streets, so I accepted what he did ta me, 'Zuru… He still fed me… gave me somewhere ta sleep… Beggars can't be choosers, right…?"
"…I-I'm sorry, Gin…" Izuru whispered.
"Don't be sorry, my little 'Zuru…" Gin whispered back. "I should be sorry… When I got older, I realised it wasn't right for him ta treat me like that... I knew he wasn't s'pposed to, but for some reason, I thought it was okay for me ta be like him towards ya, Izuru…"
"I love you, Gin…" Izuru whispered.
"I love ya, too." For the first time in their relationship, Gin kissed Izuru in a soft, gentle manner; a kiss that was full of love. When they broke away for air, Gin tenderly laid his hand upon the blond's wrist. "No more of that, okay? I promise ya I'm gonna change for ya, Izuru. I promise ya. It migh' take a while, but I'm gonna show ya my love instead of hurtin' ya all the time."
Izuru smiled. He buried his face in Gin's chest as silent tears rolled down his cheeks. Gin was a liar and a cheater, but he knew, from the bottom of his heart, that Ichimaru meant those words with every fibre of his being and, already, he had shown that he would stick true to his words by being so gentle with him.
It would be a long, hard road, but Izuru knew that as long as Gin tried his best, he would keep on living; he loved Gin too much to want to miss out on a new life with him.