Before The Truth Has A Chance To Put Its Pants On

"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to put its pants on." -Sir Winston Churchill

"...and that's how I wound up with a mountain range named after me." He concluded with a smug smile.

"So somewhere out there, is Doctor Mountain." I asked looking at him dubiously. Sometimes even when the Doctor was telling the truth his stories had the feel of massively exaggerated lie. But that was all part of the fun, it was just part of what made him the Doctor.

"Yes, I can take you there if you like. You can gaze at my majesty."

"I spend quite enough time gazing at your majesty, thanks." I teased him.

We were walking through a busy bazar area on a planet of which I'd had already forgotten the name. The Doctor was in a bit of a manic state today, we'd been "Planet Hopping" as he called it. "I used to play at this with the Corsair." he'd said. "It was like a Time Lord scavenger hunt. Place to place, planet to planet, seeing, experiencing, checking things off our list. Great fun. I always suspected her of cheating, though. I never won."

"Really, not ever?" I had asked.

"I had a tendency to get distracted, get too involved. Before I knew it I was twenty planets behind and when I did get to the end she'd be draped across the bed, grinning at me, teasing me for being slow."

"I'm sorry, did you say draped across the bed?" I'd arched an eyebrow and he, realizing his nostalgia had caused him to reveal too much, flushed pink.

"Yes...well, plenty of other places to see. Come along, Pond."

And I'd happily let him drag me about, into the TARDIS and then right back out again, new planet, new people, new things to explore. Now as we made their way through a crowded thoroughfare he seemed to get it into his head that it would be a good time to grab a bite to eat.

"This place looks good." he said gesturing to a building in front of us. "Should be able to get some fish and chips."

"Are you sure, Doctor? It looks more like a shop."

"Well, I like shops too. Shops are brilliant! Come on, we refuel here and then off we pop."

I loved seeing him so excited, so exuberant, it was, in some ways like chasing after a child at an amusement park and it made me feel twice as protective of him as normal. Must make sure the Doctor is looked after. Must make sure the Doctor doesn't get hurt. I felt in charge a good deal of the time today. That was until he turned those eyes on me, or when he put his hand on the small of my back to help navigate me through the crowds, or when he mentioned the Corsair lying on a bed, waiting for him. Then he wasn't like a child at all, in fact he was all man.

We walked into the small building which was indeed a cross between a shop and a pub. Books lined the wall, and small cafe tables were dotted about the place. Some of the tables were already occupied by people leaning close, speaking quietly, perhaps even a bit emotionally.

"Doctor, the mood here seems kind of downbeat. Especially compared with outside." I whispered to him. "Want to find another place?" Being in there for some reason made me feel uncomfortable and I noticed without thinking I had taken his hand.

"Nonsense. This is lovely. It's perfect. See they even have little sweets for us." He motioned to a basket sitting on what I supposed was the hostess station, filled with brightly colored candies in shiny iridescent wrappers. He opened one and popped it in his mouth and proceeded to make a little groan of pleasure that caused my toes to curl just the slightest bit. "Toffee, I love toffee, I was just thinking about it too. Come on, I think it's seat-yourself."

I grabbed a handful of the candies and stuffed them all into my pockets save one which I opened and and placed on my tongue.

"I got a different one. Mine tastes like bubble gum." It was good, really good, overly sugary and delightfully sweet, suddenly a rush of happy childhood memories flooded back. "Mmm this is wonderful! I'm glad I took more than one. Oh God...I could just shove a dozen more into my mouth!"

He glanced at me strangely for a minute as we sat down.

"You're certainly not shy about voicing when you like something, are you?" he asked.

I laughed.

"No, I guess not. So, what are we gonna eat, I don't see a menu."

"A waitress will probably be along shortly." he said crossing his legs. He suddenly looked distracted.

"Umm, so about the Corsair, what exactly was the prize for winning the scavenger hunt?" I asked. It was fun to fluster him and I was so accustomed to him shutting things down mid story as he slowly remembered how said story ended. I didn't think it would go anywhere. I knew I would never get an answer but that was part of the reason it was fun and harmless to ask.

"Sex." he said bluntly meeting my eyes. "However and whenever the winner wanted it."

He ran his hand through his hair suddenly and looked around with confusion as if he thought someone else had said those words and he was seeking out the culprit.

For my part, I nearly choked on my gum.

"What!? This was a sex game, you and she-"

"She and I and He and I depending on which regeneration."

"I can't quite imagine you snogging anyone much less..."

"Really?" he asked me, still looking around the room searching for something.

"No, not really. I've imagined it quite often actually."

I snapped my mouth shut suddenly and looked at him with wide eyes.

"Why did I just say that?" I asked.

"I don't know...I don't know why I said what I said either."

The waitress approached us and with a smile took out a small electronic device.

"Welcome to Veest, can I get you started with appetizers?"

"We're on the planet Pirrist." he began in that way that let me know he was about to rattle off something longwinded that I probably couldn't follow. "Populated by the Pir and the Rist different species shared language, Veest, root word Vee, from the archaic Vesnum which translates as verity, fact, truth."

I watched as the blood seemed to drain from his face. Something was happening and by the look of him something bad.

"What is it, Doctor? Doctor?"

"Oh God, Amy. This is a truth pub. Stupid, thick, idiot Doctor." he chided himself.

"Of course, sir." The waitress said looking at us both with surprise.

"What's a truth pub?" I asked suddenly growing more concerned as I unwrapped a new piece of gum. The sugar would help. Sugar always helped.

"It's a pub where couples come to have a completely truthful experience with one another. It's displayed clearly on our sign and you took some of our Veracities." The waitress looked confused and more than a little concerned at our dismay.

"You mean these sweets." I asked putting the gum into my mouth.

"They're just coated to taste like sweets." The waitress said kindly. "I'm sorry you didn't realize."

"Amy spit out your gum. Now!" He snapped at me. Shaken by his tone, I dropped the wadded mess into the palm of my hand.

The waitress grabbed a napkin and took it from me saying. "Here let me, I'll be back in a little while to take your order."

She hurried away and I looked to the Doctor ready to demand answers. The expression on his face stopped me in my tracks. He still appeared pale, even a little sick and I reached across the table to grab his hand. He linked his fingers with me in a sort of desperate way and I became truly frightened that something awful might be wrong.

"Doctor, talk to me..."

"All the food here, all of it is laced with a sort of natural truth serum."

"Like sodium pentathol?"

"Exactly, except... fruitier. Each course increases in potency and up's the effect. It lowers your inhibitions and you are forced to tell the truth. Amy, I'm in trouble."

"Why? I mean it's not permanent is it?"

"No, it's not permanent, in fact, it will wear off in an hour or two but until then I am completely vulnerable. Anything anyone asks me I'll be compelled to tell the truth. And so will you."

"Really?" I said my interest suddenly peaked. "So I could finally find out everything I've wanted to know about you. Everything you keep secret."

"This is not a joke! Amy, listen to me now. I have to ask you a favor." He reached for my other hand now his eyes sad and serious. "Please do not ask me questions."

"Why not?" I said far too lightly. "This seems like the perfect time, I get to ask whatever I want and you have to answer!"

"This is serious. I'm vulnerable right now. More so than I've ever been. I cannot lie. And if you ask the wrong questions I would tell you things, horrible things. Things I've tried very hard and for very long to keep buried." he swallowed before continuing. "Things about my past. My family. My wife. My...children. Things I don't want to reveal, to anyone. It would change how you'd see me. I know this may seem like a game but if you ask me, I'm defenseless. I can't fight back. It wouldn't be fun. It would be like…rape." The panicked look on his face cut through to my heart, it was the first time I had seen my Doctor truly afraid.

Boldy I reached up and touched his cheek. I was never quite this familiar with him not in this way and I could have sworn I felt him press his face against my palm. Did he need something? Did he want something more than comfort?

"I won't ask you." I promised. "I would never, ever hurt you, Doctor."

"Thank you. And I won't ask anything about you either. Thank you, dear." He turned his head and placed a kiss on my palm. A look of confusion again spread across his features as he seemed to question why he'd done it.

I found that I definitely didn't mind, not one bit.

The waitress returned but the Doctor and I had yet to break eye contact.

"It looks as though things have calmed down a bit now. Can I get you all started with something?"

"No," he said. "We're absolutely horrified to be here its all been a mistake. In fact I think it's best if we leave."

"Not even an appetizer?" she asked unperturbed.

"Do you have anything that isn't spiked?" The Doctor asked dryly.

"We have some pastries, yes sir. Fancy a scone?"

"Yes, yes a scone will be fine. Thank you."

"For you, Miss?"

"Coffee is fine. The non-spiked variety please."

"Of course. Now, we like to be friendly here so my name is Asin. And yours, Miss?"

"Amy." I responded realizing all too late what was going to happen next.

"Your name, sir?" Asin asked the Doctor innocently.

He was frozen, absolutely frozen in fear and I saw him swallow and then the panic on his face as his lips started to open.

Without a thought I launched myself across the table and kissed him. He froze at first and then his body relaxed as he eased into the action. I felt his arms encircle me pulling me tightly against his him. He felt strong and solid, cool and inviting and he smelled absolutely amazing.

"Say it into my mouth." I said breaking from his lips for only a moment. "It'll just be a mumble. No one will hear it, not even me."

He nodded and I felt the vibrations as he uttered something against my lips. The deed done he sighed and relaxed again. I kissed him a few more time, daring to let my tongue slip into his mouth before answering her.

"His name is John Smith, my name is Amy."

She didn't seem at all surprised by my sudden amorous display.

"Ok, John. Amy. I'll be right back with your orders."

I returned to kissing him as the waitress walked away.

His arms never left my waist and in fact I felt his fingers advancing up my ribcage. I wondered excitedly where and if they'd stop.

"Amy, you could stop kissing me now….if you wanted to. Do you want to?"

"No." I said forced to answer honestly. "Do you want me to stop?"

The Doctor inhaled and let out a ragged breath.

"No...but perhaps it's not the best time to do this... in the middle of a restaurant."

"Do, what? What are we doing?"

"Well it would appear that this might be a precursor to mating…"

He must have seen the shock on my face and immediately started to amend.

"I'm sorry…umm not mate, we're just kissing. That was me jumping the gun. No, not mate at all, not have sex..not have it off…not make love, oh I rather like that one."

"That's not what I was…that's not why I made that face I…I rather like make love too. I was just surprised is all. Is that what we're gonna do?"

"I'm hoping so."

"Me too." Had I actually said that? Outloud? Had I agreed to have sex with the Doctor? Had I just voiced one of my deepest secrets? But more than that had he agreed?

"Well, brilliant then."

"Then what say we skip the coffee?

"I was hoping you'd say that."

He sighed with an enormous amount of relief.

"Thank you. Let's get out of here, I'd feel more comfortable if we were back in the TARDIS."

"I'm really reluctant to get off your lap." I responded, my cheeks flaming as I realized this was just going to keep happening.

"If you don't get up we won't be able to leave here for awhile. I'll need for things to...settle down." He cleared his throat and hesitantly leaned forward to kiss me again.

"Am I making you hard, Doctor? And I can't believe I'm asking you this after only having had a piece of gum. "

"I can't quite wrap my mind around it either and yes, you are. Up Pond." He commanded and I obliged by hopping off his lap. I adjusted my skirt once and then tugged at the hem yet again. He watched me with amusement.

"I'm sorry." I said. "I guess I keep thinking about how much I want you to yank it off me. It's like I think the power of your mind is going to pull my skirt off."

"If that were possible, Amy, you'd have been stripped down to your knickers five minutes ago."

The Doctor stood up and my eyes immediately went to his crotch.

"Are you big, Doctor? I bet you're long and straight and thick." The words were flying out of my mouth and I was absolutely unable to stop them. I blushed but didn't regret it.

The Doctor grimaced in what looked like pain but I had a pretty good idea it wasn't pain he was experiencing.

"We have to get out of here." he said suddenly grabbing my hand and tugging me out of the restaurant. "And yes, to answer your question, Amy, I am well sized which you'll discover for yourself not long from now. Ok, no more questions until we get to the TARDIS. Is that clear!?"

"Yes, Doctor. Very clear, Doctor." I said cheekily.

He weaved us easily through the crowd and I kept my mouth shut for all of 30 seconds.

"Doctor..." I called after him. "If I were to keep asking questions would you punish me with a spanking."

A few people turned to glance at us and the Doctor spun around to stop me with a lusty glare.

He yanked me against him, hard and I made a little pleased noise as our bodies connected. He let his hand slip down to my arse and gave me a squeeze.

"Yes, I'll spank you if that'll teach you to mind me." He said his voice low as he spoke softly against my ear. "Is that what you've wanted this whole time, Amy? Have you wanted me to master you?"

"Yesssss," I breathed. "I mean, sometimes that's what I want. Sometimes I had these fantasies about you...weird Daddy-issue fantasies. Spankings and discipline and kissogram costumes."

The Doctor groaned against my ear as the people surged around us, more intent on getting the best deal and haggling over spices than the two incongruous aliens groping one another in their midst.

"I don't know if I can wait to get you back to the TARDIS." he said eyes darting around no doubt looking for a place for us to slip away.

"You have to. I want you there and I can see it, just over the ridge." I said with finality and started to pull him along. Suddenly I changed my mind and dropped his hand. "You know what, Doctor."

"What?" he asked breathlessly.

"Chase me!" I said and took off at a run. I giggled as I dashed through the streets, looking back over my shoulder once I saw him in hot pursuit a grin on his face. I whooped and ran faster as we left the town and made our way into the clearing. I beat him to the TARDIS hitting the wooden, blue outside and spinning around in time for him to crash into me. He caged me, putting his hands on the box near either side of my head. We were both panting heavily, neither of us speaking, our lips less than an inch apart.

"Do you want to fuck me?" I whispered and his hand shot beneath my skirt to squeeze my bottom again.


"Which one is it?"

"It's both. I want to fuck you, badly, right now. I think it might take this frantic edge off but later...later, Amy I want to make love to you."

He looked a bit embarrassed at the admission and I kissed him relishing the blush of his cheeks.

"Would you like that?" he asked me knowing I'd be forced to answer.

"God, yes! But is there time, will the candy wear off?"

"We'll make time. Plus, you told me you nicked a few right?" The Doctors lips had found my neck and he was alternately sucking and biting the skin there.

I was shocked that he wasn't upset about that. I thought he'd make me toss them as soon as he remembered.

"Yeah, I've got a few. I figured you'd make me throw them away."

"I should and trust me I'm confiscating all of them for safekeeping once we're through but for now, just to extend the experience perhaps a half of one won't hurt."

"So we're sorted then. Details all ironed out." I said trying to push his jacket off his shoulders.

"Exactly. Now how do I get you out of these blasted tights?"

"Rip them." I said and he looked at my with surprised admiration. "Rip the knickers too, I don't care, just get inside me."

"Shouldn't we go into the TARDIS?" he asked.

"No, here, right here, where anyone could see."

He growled and kissed me hard in a way I knew would make my lips swell. I dropped my hands to his trousers and started unfastening every impediment that kept him from me.

"I feel rather ashamed but I've always wanted to long have you wanted me, Amy?"

"In a confusing and totally unclear way since about puberty. But I think even then I just wanted you around, like all the time, to play with and hang out with, to take me on adventures. I don't know, in my stupid little girl way I thought we could hold hands and go see movies together sometimes." I said sucking his earlobe into my mouth. "But in a way I could understand and wank to and create elaborate sexy stories about, since I was sixteen. Good thing you didn't come back then." I teased him. I'd finally freed his cock from trousers which now pooled around his ankles and pants which had fallen just to his knees.

"Amy, I would not have touched you at sixteen. What kind of man do you think I am?" His tone was serious but because of my hand it seemed as though he'd nearly stopped breathing. I was slowly stroking his cock and he'd rested his head on my shoulder enjoying the sensation, his body and his mind off on two completely separate trips.

"I wasn't commenting on what you would have done. I was addressing how I would have attacked you if you'd crashed in my garden again. If you think after the Byzantium was bad, that was when my hormones had settled down a touch. But since you bring it up, would you have want-"

"Amy, don't ask me that." he said harshly. "You promised. Leave me...something."

"Sorry..." I said. I wouldn't tell him that I'd take that as a yes and that it thrilled me in the naughtiest of ways. I didn't want to abuse his trust. I really didn't. I rubbed his back comfortingly. It felt so good to have him heavy and resting against me. Pressing me into the unyielding outer wall of the TARDIS. "You're so hard and hot in my hand, Doctor. Are you ready?"

He put his hands to the crotch of my tights and made quick work shredding them, he followed that up by tearing open my knickers. Two hands beneath my thighs and he had me hoisted off the ground and suddenly time seemed to slow down. I wrapped my legs around his waist. We were face to face and I was staring into those cool, ancient eyes, gazing at those high cheekbones, that strong chin. He was so handsome, so very, very handsome. I couldn't help it, in that moment where I did feel so lusty, so horny, where I craved him so strongly I still needed to do it. I kissed his nose, because, well, it needed to be kissed.

He blinked in surprise.

"What was that for?" he asked, the sweetness of the gesture seeming to have taken him off guard.

He was poised at my entrance and I wiggled impatiently.

"That was because I love your face."

"Thank you." he grinned before impulsively kissing my nose as well. "I love your face, too."

"I'm ready, Doctor, been waiting for this for years."

"Hang onto me, Amy."

He thrust into me in one, smooth, deep stroke, swearing something in Gallifreyan that sounded delightfully rude to my ear.

"That sounded filthy, Doctor."

"It was." he said with a lascivious grin.

"Good, I want filthy right now. Fuck me."

I put my hands in his hair grabbing two handfuls as I craned my neck backwards.

He withdrew slightly and thrust forward again, harder this time, and I felt his eyes on me, watching my reaction.

He was, how had he put it, well-sized? He wasn't kidding, in fact he was filling me completely and also managing to glance my clit in the most satisfying way.

"Oh! Doctor!" I cried out softly.

"Louder. Let them hear you." he panted against me.

"Harder." I demanded. "Put you back into it, Doctor."

"Are you giving me cheek?" he asked with a wry smile but he did as I requested, pumping into me harder and deeper, his pace quickening.

"If you bend me over, maybe later. Right now I'm giving you pussy."

Did I really just say that? To the Doctor? Apparently I had because he swore again and I found myself being moved up and down against the TARDIS exterior so fast I waited nervously for big blue splinters.

"Amy, you feel so good. I don't think I can last much..." His voice had risen a few delicious octaves and I tightened around him trying to lift it to castrati levels. It nearly worked. "And that's not helping!" He choked out.

"I don't need you to last, Doctor. You promised me another go...pretty close myself anyways."


"Yeah. Fuck me like you've always wanted to and come inside me. Don't you dare pull out."

With new and desperate vigor of a man on a kamikaze mission he raised me higher, hands on my arse and angling me against the TARDIS. I held onto him as best I could. I was beyond words at this point, beyond being able to encourage him or tell him what I wanted or needed. It didn't matter anyway, he was perfect, he was attentive, and we were both running full tilt towards that orgasmic peak.

He came so loudly I heard it echo off of a nearby cliff and reverberate through the valley. He threw his head back and I watched the muscles in his neck tense, his eyes shutting hard as he held me to him. I came with him, a steady stream of "Oh Doctor's" and "Don't stop's" passing through my lips.

We stayed in that position, sweaty, out of breath, hair plastered to our foreheads. My arms and legs wrapped around his body, his hands supporting me under my bottom.

I was the first one to speak.

"I thought I'd be embarrassed. I thought maybe I wouldn't be able to look you in the eye once we did this. But I can. I can look at you and I'm not embarrassed. Are you?"

"No." he answer slowly as if he too were surprised by the response. "I'm not embarrassed.

The Doctor lowered me to my feet and I tugged my skirt down and he hastily pulled up his pants and trousers.

We stared at each other and giggled for a few moments unsure of what to do next until i grabbed him and pulled him against me. We hugged, not a typical way to end a sexual encounter but it worked for us.

"Thank you, love."

"For what?"

"You looked after me today."

I gave him a teasing smile.

"No, I don't mean that. Well I do, but I really mean...I asked you to..." he sighed, ran his hand through his hair and started again. "It's just that trust is so important...why is this so hard to say?"

"It's ok, Doctor. I understand." And I did, i could have hurt him today, unintentionally, clumsily but nonetheless seriously hurt him. I was so glad I hadn't. He needed looking after and I was happy to be there to do it. "Come on, lets go inside." I said taking his hand in mine. We entered the TARDIS and after closing the door he suddenly pulled me back to him and kissed me.

"I think I could get used to that."

"So could I." he said sensually. "Amy?"

"Yes, Doctor?" I breathed, wondering what he'd ask me to do now even though my mouth was already poised to say yes.

He brushed my hair away from my face and brought his lips close to me ear. I waited to feel the warmth of his breath already anticipating the way it made me shiver.

"I think you'd best give me those sweets." he said quietly.

"Huh?" I said somewhat dazed.

"The candies, they're too dangerous to have the just floating about unaccounted for."

"But I thought you said we were going to have more later." I protested. This was just like the Doctor, changing the game in the middle of play.

"We are." he said fixing his jacket and then straightening his bow tie which had gone awfully crooked during our encounter. "But I honestly don't trust you with them."

I tried to huff and look offended but he was giving me the most devilish knowing smile. He was so casual all of a sudden, relaxed, as he leaned against the wall of the TARDIS. The wall just opposite to where he'd had me in the great wide open just moments ago. His smile broadened as if he knew what I was thinking and I watched his eyes scan my body as he unabashedly appraised me.

"Should I trust you with them?" he pressed.

Damn him.

"No." I said before I could even come up with a lie. "Can I trust you with them?" I countered.

"Of course! How do you mean?" he asked curiously.

"Well, what if you want to have a another go with me but you're too inhibited to ask because who knows what I might say. Would you ask or would it just be easier to slip me a little piece of bubble gum?" I teased. He started to look offended and I cut him off before he began. "And no before you balk it's not like I'm accusing you of wanting to slip me a roofie. This isn't a drug Doctor, it doesn't dull the senses if anything it amplifies them. I've never felt more lucid. It just makes you tell the truth."

He considered that for a moment.

"I don't believe I'd have to...slip you the sweets, I mean." he regarded a nonexistent spot on the TARDIS floor suddenly seeming too embarrassed to go on. "Mightn't we do this again, without any sort of alien aid?"

"Yes, we could. I mean I'd like that. I mean we definitely should. If you think so."

He broke into a wide smile. "Yes. I think so. I mean, we should."

Oh thank heaven. We were so awkward about this, without the truth pub it might never have happened at all.

"In fact, " I began. "Maybe we should be done with the candy for now. Maybe for tonight, we should just be normal and see how we handle that. Just Amy and the Doctor, unguarded but maybe not quite this unguarded, eh?"

"I like that."

"Good, we'll I'm off to toss these tights and knickers in the bin and then settle in for a nice, long hot shower."

The Doctor nodded, smiled and started to busy himself with inputting coordinates into the console.


"Yes, Amy?"

"You should ask me if I like showering alone." I said pointedly.

He tilted his head to the side before a hint of a smile crept up to his features.

"Do you like showering alone, Amy?"

"I hate it." I replied honestly.

He put the TARDIS on what I could only assume was its version of autopilot and hurried over to me.

"Then I think it would be best if I joined you."

I took his hand and started to lead him down the hallway to my bedroom.

"Doctor, truer words were never spoken."