ohayo sempais! * ::huggles:: and pickled carrots for _everyone_!*
Okay, here is my opening fic idea for the ROPAA homepage (it got way to long to be on the site's opening page, you'll see what I mean)
Deep in the Bowels of the AFC, hidden within a labyrinth of passageways twisting and turning through miles of piping and electrical conduits lies a room. A purple room. A squat, purple room. An unassuming, squat, purple room. Should you walk around the perimeter you would find it makes a perfectly ordinary square. A sign outside reminds visitors to please leave their footwear at the entrance. The sole identifying marking is on the outer door itself, a lacquered purple acorn resting on a Cherry Blossom Leaf. Inside it is equally unassuming, with merely a desk, a chair, and a potted plant for decoration; soft light radiates from a translucent ceiling. An equally unassuming receptionist dressed in a violet kimono with silver accents sits behind the desk in the room's lone chair. A placard on the desk reads "_kawaii_electric_geisha_chan_, Receptionist". A careful observer might note that the inside looks larger than the outside, but that could just be a trick of the lighting and the curved inner surfaces. When you enter, the receptionist rises and bows to you. You bow back.
"Welcome, honorable visitors," the receptionist says, meeting your eyes. "How may we serve you?" ...
You have stumbled across the fabled, secret Headquarters of the R.O.P.A.A. -Royal Order of Princess Ayeka Advocates (Imperial Charter from 18 July 1999, Earth Standard Local Year) For your dedication to the Lady Ayeka-hime and her consort, evidenced by your discovery of this page, and/or participation within the Ayeka Fan Club (link), you are invited to become an applicant to the ROPAA -the honor guard and last line of defense for the AFC Kingdom.
There is only One requirement for membership in the Order: Total Unswerving Loyalty To Princess Ayeka, but we break it down into steps so prospective Agents can understand the level of dedication required of them
Membership By Invitation only:..meaning those known to have an extraordinary devotion to our Princess, rather referred by our members or by well-wishers, are given an inviation to join. Those Invitees who survive Basic Training, Basic+ Training, VisualBasic Training, Juraigo tendo training, the three day crash course in death defying heroism in the face of impossible outcomes, and the seven day Brady Bunch Marathon are made members.
And you, most honorable visitor, are invited to take your place at our table. [fade back to waiting room]
The receptionist motions you over to the far wall. She rings a rather large gong that you sense wasn't there before and yells to no one in particular: "Visitors at E-Level. Visitors at E-Level" as if it were a mantra, You jump back in surprise as the wall behind you ripples away as if a stone had been thrown into a pond. The receptionist smiles and gestures for you to enter the swirling wall.
Sensing that the receptionist means you no harm, and that the rippling effect in the wall will not kill you (at least not outright) one at a time the members of your group step into the swirling chaos that is shimmering like a rain splattered lake. The scene that greets you on the other side of the wall takes your breath away. Literally, as an intense vacuum wooshes the air out of your lungs leaving you gasping for breath, as you stare out into nothingness. Then your stomach lurches.
"Please do not be alarmed, honorable applicants. You are merely experiencing the effects of ethereal-astral lustratiation. The process will be over shortly. Please stand by." a disembodied feminine voice (DFV) says.
Gradually, you perceive yourselves to be on an elevator (though where it came from yo don't know. You feel yourselves descending rapidly to an unknown destination. It slows down and comes out into the open. This scene is slightly less confusing than the one you just left.
What you see is a wide plain bifurcated into two levels. People, -ohki's and other assorted beings dressed in purple business suits scurry back and forth. On the floor which looks like mica or black marble is inlaid a large seal, a circle defined by a rope. The words "Royal Order of Princess Ayeka Advocates" are written around the circumference. A Tree is in the background behind a large shield with a purple leaf. Upon the shield is some kanji which translated might mean "To Defend, To Serve, to Protect" or it might mean "Kawii death to Ayeka bashers and her despisers" you're not sure which.
At the far end of the room is an extremely large bank of video monitors, constantly switching back and forth between a myriad of scenes, some appear to be news casts, some live shots from around the world, some are tactical displays, or maps, one monitor has what appears to be a game of Pac-Man. You feel a sweatdrop forming at the back of your neck, and begin to wonder if the AFC knows what lurks in its own basement.
The seal disappears as the elevator descends even further, finally coming to a halt, and disgorges you onto the main floor.
Noone on the floor pays any attention to you as they go about their business.
The elevator door behind you remains open, as if anticipating a desire to return to where you came from. With the madness you see before you that might not be a bad idea. Then again, you've come this far, why not press on with determination to see this crazy episode to its end?
A polite cough captures your attention, and you look up, glad to be able to focus on one object, instead of the myriad upon myriads of people, other people, and things around you. You see a man dressed from head to toe in scarlet with a violet "A" emblazoned on his right breast. Somehow, you don't think he has ever heard of Nathaniel Hawthorne, otherwise he would not be beaming quite so chirpily.
"My name is _chibi_red_writing_hood (at least that's the name I prefer) I am to take you to my leader. Please follow me." You're not so sure that's a good idea, (remembering what happens when someone takes you to their leader) but you follow nonetheless, as the elevator has since disappeared.
You are escorted down a long hallway with doors every 50 yards or so.
Every so often you see a poster. One of them has a Jurian dressed in patriotic robes pointing to you saying: "The AFC wants You to fight AHRLIs and RHALIs". Another one further down reads "ROPAA: Beacons of Hope in a clouded Ayeka hating world" Yet a third reads "Trust the Princess" under a stunning portrait of the Princess.
Chibi_red_writing_hood notices your awareness of the posters, and comments over his shoulder "oh don't mind them, its just a ROPAA propaganda promo. Have to keep up an image, even if we are covert ops. Its good for morale."
"Is it much furthers chibi_red" someone asks. "Not far now." chibi_red_writing_hood says. After a few more minutes of walking, another voice calls out: "Is it much farther, little_red?" "Not far now." chibi_red_writing_hood says again, just a trace of minor irritation in his voice, or it could just be the echo off the monkey-bar shaped roof. After even more walking with no end in sight, yet a third whiner calls out: "Is it much farther, chibi_red_wriing_hood?" By now quite exasperated, chibi_red_writing_hood yells out "YES IT IS!"
Then suddenly he stops. "Here we are, the Servant General's offices. I'll wait for you here." He ushers you into a brightly lit office with plush purple carpeting. Deeply lacquered furniture is tastefully and tactfully positioned along the walls of the office. The flags of Jurai, the AFC and the Order line the wall at the back of the large mahogany desk.
A Holographic representation of a man rises from the floor. Like everything else you have seen so far, this man is unassuming, until you look at him. Long gray ears rise from the top of his head, and a bushy white cotton tail protrudes from his back. You're not sure if it's real, or just a suit he's wearing.
"Welcome, I am fuzzy_bunny, the Servant General of the Order. I greet you as Postulants to the Royal Order of Princess Ayeka Advocates in the name of our sweetest Princess, the Royal Lady Ayeka. I'm sorry I cannot greet you in person, as I'm away from the office: I'm either busy directing another campaign against the AHRLI's, ranting against bad anti-ayeka hentai, or possibly inheriting the wind. I could be engaged in a meeting with our Royal Patron. I could be watching anime for CEU (continuing education units) so I can earn my Anime doctorate . Or (and confidentially, this is probably more likely) I'm having a pickled carrot break. At any rate, welcome Home.
"You are about to join the the most illustrious, the most decorated, the most feared defenders of Lady Ayeka's honor the AFC has ever had.
"The training is horrendous (I know, because it was an unforeseen but not totally beneficial accident during my own training that made me the man you see today), the life is spartan, the hours are long, but the rewards are stupendous. Just imagine, spending your life in defense of the most beautiful, the most courageous, the most likely to win Tenchi's heart -oh sorry, going a little off the script there- the most kawaii... the perfect candidate for the Miss Anime Competition (despite what the judges said, I have it on good authority they were bribed or threatened before the show by Nagi) our very own Princes Ayeka! What more out of life could you want?" He pauses for dramatic effect, then continues on, quite oblivious to the stares and teardrops.
"You will all be assigned Honor Names in due time, assuming you make the grade, that is. We pride ourselves on names that suit the personality of the one honored. We have never failed to accurately depict an agent's Honor Name. And we never, ever go off subject.
"Would you like a pickled carrot?" the hologram suddenly asks you. Startled you shake your head. the hologram shrugs its head, "suit yourself then." and munches on another carrot.
"As I must be off, people to see, AHRLIs so slay, RHALIs to enlighten, pickled carrots to eat and all that, I'll leave you in the capable hands of our Novice Master. He'll show you the ropes, and other parts of your Basic Training. May Tsunami guide you!" The fuzzy_bunny hologram steps into a lighted doorway which suddenly appeared and is gone in the blink of an eye.
"Oh drat" chibi_red_writing_hood says as his pager goes off with an unmistakable "Power Rangers Theme" *someone groans in the background* He takes at look at the message
"Yo, CBM!" a girl with long blond curls and light blue and lavender kimono looks up at the approaching party. a small sweatdrop forms near her head. "Got a new batch of rookies. Show 'em the rounds, will you?" "Baka! Its Chibi_cherry_blossom_megami, baka-chan!" "Yeah, whatever" the scarlet clad agent says. "Just show 'em around, will ya'? I got an AHRLI to deal with in Izumo" Chibi_cherry_blossom_megami frowned in annoyance
"_Cheerful_cake_guy report to Uniforms, B corridor. _Cheerful_cake_guy report to Uniforms, B corridor" the disembodied voice announced in a rather stern tone of vioce. Chibi_cherry_blossom_megami teardroped for the third time since receiving your group, "Is he wearing the wrong uniform, again?!" causing sympathetic sweat drops to form on the party. "f_b is not going to like this. At this rate, he'll be in the "Whipping Boys Only" room for years!" Everyone's sweat drops got bigger. "Or even worse, "Little Washu's Cute Guniea Pigs Only" Room" kawaii_whipping_boy can get quite into his work, you know". Everyone is clearly distressed at this statement.
"But don't you worry your pretty little heads about it dears. I'm sure that none of you will ever have to see the inside of that door -apart from your simulated exposure in the Crab-o-cycle. Now, if you'll just follow me, I'll show you around HQ."
"Check!" you hear a voice say, and all eyes instantly pan to the corner where a chess board is set up between another ROPAA agent and a computer bank that looks suspiciously like IBM's "Deep Blue". Smoke was beginning to form at the edges of the computer. "Not again! chibi_deep_blue, this is the third time this month you've blown Deep Blue's cool. It'll be out of commission for a week!" a supervisor agent admonished. "Well, its not my fault if DP can't take the heat. And anyway, chibi_acorn_muncher, I thought you were going to install a firewall so this wouldn't happen?" chibi_deep_blue retorted.
CBM hurries you past the feuding chess players, and begins pointing out the various offices and their occupants. One door in particular strikes you "cuddly_little_snugglypoo,C.F.O. Chief Naming Officer"
"Yes, yes, in due time. This is where you'll go when you receieve your Honor Name." CBM cluck clucked from behind.
Right next door to cuddy_little_snugglypoo's door was "little_sugar_patootie, C.R.O. Chief Ranting Officer" "You definitely do not want to mess with him" CBM advised, "he's especially rough with newbies. He'll be one of your Drill Instructors. Whatever you do, do not mention the words "Sasami" and "lemon" togther in the same sentence around him. Trust me. We had one agent who did, and little_sugar_patootie left him in pieces so small, not even the dogs could find him. Move along, move along"
"charming_paladin_pancake, Special Vehicle Protection Division 2" After that the names began to blend together. It was a good thing too, because otherwise we'd be reading for a good half hour longer.
Finally you came to a purple door with a golden inscription above the lintel, guarded by a stern looking agent, who could have passed for a celtic druid of old, except for his shocking blue habit. "That's chibi_aoi_druid" CBM whispered" "or at least we think its him. He guards the portal that leads to the inner sanctum of the AFC. He's really the High Priest of the Church of Advent Tsunami and its sister Church of Advent Achika (Always and Achika). He's rumored to possess the Juraian power of bi-location, but its never been proven.
As you pass the door, you strain your eyes to read the inscription: "Through these doors pass some of the bravest Ayeka Advocates in the world, the few, the proud, the R.O.P.A.A."
The rest is up to you. Welcome to the Order, and may your honorable service to Ayeka-hime be long (at least longer than the last batch of rookies: they were trampled to death by a horde of rampaging AHRLIs during an exercise on the Anipike halfway through basic training. Terrible tragedy that.) and prosperous. May you bring honor and laud to our glorious and omnibeneficient princess the Lady Ayeka!
Okay, so what you see here is the product of a lark that became an almost reality, embedded within The Ayeka Fan Club way back in the late 1990's. Honor Names have not been changed to protect anyone. I figured it was simply time to drag out some of my earlier work and create a consistent impression of who I am as a fanfic writer. Please enjoy the continuing if made-up adventures of the R.O.P.A.A as I find more stories to share.