a/n - So while I am editing books 1 & 2, I have a bunch of poems and letters and stuff that i have written that I thought I would post from time to time. So tonight we have a letter written to Will from his father on his death bed. This is between the time Will and Amy met and when she saw Tracy and Will having an argument in the studio.
These chapters will all be short and fill in some gaps... I hope you enjoy them!
Also to my readers who do not follow me on social media. I made a youtube video, a reading of the first chapter. I plan to do more. so please check it out
www dot youtube dot com/watch?v=vdbOV2RDjyo - you cant copy and past the link because I had to take out the . and replace them with the word dot because FF does not allow for links. not really sure why they do that. if that does not work the link is on my Tumblr at darknessandwhitefanpage dot tumblr dot com. You don't need a tumblr account to check out the page.
Bonus Chapter – Dear Will.
I know you're pissed son. You have every right to be. You've had a rough go of it. I wish there was something that I could tell ya. Something to make this easier somehow but the fact is I'm dying. They're ain't a shitting thing anyone can do about it. So we can argue about me fighting it or we can just let it be.
I've been fighting a long time. I'm sick and tired of fighting. I made my choices long ago, I knew this would be coming one day. You told me, trace told me, the docs told me too but I was sold and stubborn and lived like a giant when I was only a man. None of us are invincible.
Laying is this fucking hospital bed day in and day out I have had the chance to think about my life. My life has been hard but it's been good too. Raising you and Tracy. Getting to see Kira grow up a little. Even your mother. Loving her was one of the best things I ever fought for. When she left, I should have sold the house and let go of all the memories. I should have moved on, but I didn't. Don't make the same mistakes I have made.
I'm worried about you. Since Maria you have been closed. Look, that shit went down and I'm not gonna say you aren't to blame. Because we both know on some level you are. I'll never be able to convince you otherwise. But you were a different man then. You were sick and dying. It was the drugs that made you that way. You're clean now. You deserve to be happy. Understand Will. You deserve it. Life is long, don't be lonely. Don't be closed. After your mom left I closed too. And I never reopened. Lying here I know that was a mistake and that I have wasted time. Time I will never get back
This girl you were telling me about. I think you need to go for it. I know you have had your fair share of women, closed or not. Never once in all the years did you talk to me about them the way to talked about her. Never once. So don't wait.
Now this is something else that's been on my mind. You're clean now, but in worried that when I'm gone you will relapse. Don't let that happen. Not when I'm gone. Not ever. The drugs change you Will. They make you unrecognizable. I can't rest knowing that my death would give you the push. I know you've been struggling. I can see it on your face and the way you move your body. I can see you fighting. Never stop fighting. Never stop. You are stronger than anyone I know. Do I wish I had more time. Fuck yeah I do. I wish I could see you settled and happy. I wish I could see your kids grow up. But wishing and getting are two very different things.
I love you. I don't say it often enough but I do. You and Tracy have been the best choices I have ever made. Just knowing that you two are good, and that I played a role in that goodness. It's enough.