Note: This is, well, I guess a random crack fic I've come up with. In my defense, I watch the first 4 Star Wars movies all day long (don't ask how this is possibly connected, cause I barely know how my mind works anymore). I couldn't sleep till I got all this typed out. (it's 3am I must be lonely! a little look into the next chap of Behind the Scenes goes to whoever can guess what that's supposed to be an allusion to!) It's precisely 2000 words, so nya! To save time and confusion, this is "How Long is Forever?" AU, so Star's vamoose! Gone! I WILL eventually return to this, and do my own little "this is how the Titans ended up after Star left" type fic that's already been done a million times over & I'm sure my idea is so original *rolls eyes* but c'est la vie. We shall endure, I'm sure. Now onto the fic!


"Then birds wouldn't fuck with them," he answered simply.

This earned a short, dry, bark of a laugh from the other resident bird of the Tower. "That's rich, coming from you, Dick."

"Raven!" Cyborg yelled, surprised by the empath's outburst, but oblivious to the double meaning of that particular word.

Robin, however, blushed slightly at her remark. "No, it's fine Cy. Beast Boy, are you through asking stupid questions?"

Before the changeling could respond, indignant or not, the bird interrupted again. "If you're asking that his intelligence is going to mature past the 3rd grade level, you may as well give up now, oh genius leader."

"Raven! You're seriously acting up, more than usual. What's gotten into you?" Cyborg demanded.

"Yeah, Raven, you're not this bad. Even on your worst days before..." Beast Boy's voice trailed off.

"Whatever, I need to meditate," she sulked, stalking out of Ops.

"I'll go see what's up with her," Robin chased after without waiting for a reply, though all spoke up or made moves to stop him, he evaded them.

"Raven!" he called as he ran after her.

"Oh Azar, why can't I be left alone! Stop being such a dick, Grayson, and give me some space already!" She was so close too, right outside her door. But no, she'd pause this moment for her leader, it would only take a moment,... right?

"Only if you'd stop with the facade of being such a depressed goth, Roth," he grinned stupidly at the little name game they had initiated. It was something that happened once every so often, a snarky banter would start up between the two. Before it was well known to either, it would escalate very quickly into a battle of wits, usually with neither too sure who had truly come out on top.

"Watch yourself, or a Robin may find his wings clipped."

"Quoth'd the Raven."

"Nevermore..." a pause, for dramatic effect, obviously, "Shall you have the chance to say that line, if I had things my way."

"If ifs and buts were candy and nuts-"

Raven interrupted her leader, "We'd all have a merry Christmas. But what if, for a moment. What if, Robin? What if? What if?-"

"What if worms had machine guns?" he repeated the question from earlier. BB had managed to go completely off topic (what, indeed, had been so important before, at any rate?) and was playing the 'what if' game with anyone who would continue answering to him. Robin had had enough and put his foot down with that question, which brings us to where we find our birds now.

"Being a raven, myself, I think they should know not to fuck with me. Everyone in Jump knows it, everyone out of Jump should be aware of it. So why not these worms that find themselves so heavily armed suddenly?"

"Instead of the other way around?"


"What about robins?"

"What about them?" She paused from entering her room, finally turing around to face her leader. This was taking longer than a moment.

"I don't think that they'd fuck with us."

"Well, seeing as how most normal people don't go running around in green spandex, fighting psychotic villains, robot commandoes, and giant, oozing monsters-"

"With all that business aside."

She sighed now, in a very defeated I-just-want-to-get-away-and-not-see-your-face type sigh. "No, Robin, I guess even if worms had a whole armada, air force, and continental army on their side, they probably wouldn't fuck with us."

"Would we fuck with them?"

"Pardon me?"

"Incubus. But before we get too ADD and go off topic here, would we, Robins or Ravens, representing all bird-kind, fuck with those worms? After all, that's how the saying goes..."

"No Robin, worms are just not important enough for me to spend my time on. I definitely would not want to start fucking with them if they had mysteriously acquired heavy artillery."

"But, the early bird catches the worm-"

"And if you recall correctly, the only time I became an early bird, I brought along Armageddon."

"But you still stopped it."

"The ends don't always justify the means, Boy Blunder."

"Yet here we are. Everything is still pretty normal. We're all still how we were before, nothing's really changed with us. We're all the same teens we met that night Star crash-landed here." Robin was beginning to tread dangerous water. Raven did her best to stay afloat and jumped out the deep end before she could start drowning.

"You obviously, aren't the same Robin who's been tortured by what's become the Joker to his Batman, lost a friend to Azar knows what sort of time paradox we're trapped in, betrayed by another friend- thanks to that same Joker- had to risk going to Hell and back- with help from that Joker, surprisingly- then had to stop world domination- which, again surprisingly, had nothing to do with that Joker. Who are you, what have you done with our leader, and when will you be planning on returning him? I think I can handle a little break, but not too long, apparently we still need the guy."

"Ha, cute. Better watch yourself, Raven, I think I see that little kid I rescued from Hell creeping back sometimes. Or that cute little Bunny Raven we had to rescue from the Amazing Mumbo's hat of Wonder."

"Sometimes I wish you had stayed a monkey, Robin. You'd be mush easier to deal with... And DAMMIT! When are you just going to drop it! I'm not some cliche damsel in distress already!"

"Yeah, unleashing a Dragon on the Tower doesn't make one think of damsels in distress at all, especailly when I consider which room he had come out of."

"I said to drop it." Her voice got dangerously low once again. Robin recalled the time before, when Raven's voice got that low once. Before, they hadn't wanted to know what it could mean, now they all knew exactly what type of torture it could bring.

"Okay, fine. But while we're still talking..." Raven turned once more, as if to say she was simply done. "What if we really had gotten together?"

"Are we really going to go through this?"

"I think BB brought up a pretty valid point."

"Fine, if worms had machine guns, if Star hadn't disappeared, if they hadn't canceled the show, if we went about our lives and you and Star hadn't worked out and me and B hadn't worked out and we mysteriously had hooked up. Then maybe Robin, birds would still fuck with those worms and we wouldn't last too long as a couple either. Face it. Two birds against a world full of machine gun-toting worms? Too many people would be too adamantly against us. It won't fly, Robin."

"Screw what they say. Birds of a Feather, Flock Together."

"I think a robin and a raven are of fairly different feathers."

"Not this robin or raven. No, these have a lot more in common than they think. We do already have that bond between us."

"I told you, I can establish the same bond with any others-"

"Then why haven't you, yet?"

"I don't like anyone in on my secrets-"

"Raven, that big secret was exposed long ago, I think we all forgave you." As Robin went on, Raven finally entered her sanctuary. Robin began to follow, but stopped just outside her door, out of respect and courtesy. "There's nothing more to hide, so why haven't you formed that bond with the others?" She had disappeared into her room completely now.

Darkness there, and nothing more.

"Raven?" He asked tentatively.

"Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore.
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken.
Leave my loneliness unbroken.—quit the bust above my door.
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door" She quoted suddenly. "To put it simply, leave me now, forever more... Or at least for the night. Great Azar, can't you ever quit for one night, Robin?"

"...And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted—nevermore!" he finished. "Or to put it simply, no, my Raven, I'm not going to quit. Poe may have been brought to the edge of insanity, but I think we can take you out of whatever insanity that you may find yourself trapped in," Robin decided it was high time to bring back a point that he knew BB had upset her with. "Raven, you don't need to worry anymore. The stuff with Trigon is over, we can move on with our lives."

"But Robin... What if? What if Star really does come back sooner than we expected? Not that hundred years to the future Warp would go to, that future where the Titans had to make do without her? What if she shows up, any day now, and we send her back to our time, just so we can undo all this future we've had without her... And I have to defeat Trigon all over again. Just the thought of me, having to go through that uncertainty again... It's just awful. But what if?"

"What if worms had machine guns?" he repeated once more.

Raven sighed again. "Birds wouldn't fuck with them."

"We'll still be those same Titans, Raven. If anything, if Star really was sent back, we got another machine gun to help us out against the worms themselves. Shouldn't be damn near as tough as it was without her, if you recall."

"Still... Ending the world... again. I just need some time to think this over, if you don't mind Robin, just go back to the boys. I'll be fine by morning."

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" He had initiated the standard goodbye the two had shared since the beginnings of the team.

"I'm not okay, I promise."


"My Chemical Romance. You think you're the only bird with songs stuck in their head?"

"No matter what happens Rae, I will Follow you Into the Dark."

"Death Cab for Cutie. But I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For, Robin."

"Ah, U2? Better start swallowing your Pride, Rae."

"But it's In the Name of Love..." she whispered through the door, almost too faint for him to hear.

It was all he needed, though. He wanted to keep it up, he could've, but it was best to let it slide.

Beast Boy had no clue how close he hd come to discovering what the two birds were just starting to mull over in their own heads. That they could very well be falling, Head Over Heels, for each other.

'Definitely don't want any Tears for our Fears complicating all of this,' Robin thought ruefully. Smirking all the while to himself and setting aside the allusion for later. 'We've got enough trouble headed our way, there's definitely murky waters ahead...'

Robin let his thoughts drift once more to that question as he made his way lazily back to Ops, in absolutely no rush. As long as Raven would be okay, he could live with a little uncertainty in this life. Still... "What if worms had machine guns?"


Author's Note: YAY! It's over! Again, a little looks into Behind the Scenes goes to whoever can guess that 3am comment! I'ma not giving any hints bout it! Okay, it's a song line, now you tell me the band & name & stuffs.

Tell me if this was any good, or if I overloaded on allusion like a kid overloads on candy on Halloween. I know the quotation was bit much, but hey, staying up late makes me crazy, & insomnia isn't so great for anyone... I'm having trouble trying to sleep, I'm counting sheep but running out.. My mouth is dry, my face is numb. Fucked up and spun out in my room... Another scene added if you can guess both songs now. There, that should provide interesting feedback, I'm sure...