I just read this and oh Lord, it's horrible. I totally forgot one of the most important parts. Turns out, typing straight from the paper and just checking for spelling errors is not the way to do it. Ooops. Sorry about that. Also, I've spent the entirety of last month filling out multiple college applications (do not apply to anywhere that doesn't accept the common app. really, it causes so much more work) and writing a million essays about totally pointless things and researching colleges and planning college visit, and...well, I'm sure you get the point.

I just got the time to reread this and once agian, I apologize for leaving out the details that I did.

So, here is the updated version.

This chapter got the two pranks from "3instein Complex" and "rollwithbutter". Thanks you two.

It is also in two parts, meaning two rules in a way to make up from the long wait.

Don't own "The Hobbit." Real surprise there.


Kili would really like to ask one question concerning the whole affair. How was he supposed to know? Really, who suspecteed it. Except maybe Bifur. Yes, maybe Bifur knew all along. But, everyone else had no clue. Why would they have? Bofur seemed to be so normal. No one expected to see the old and well-loved hand-sewn, red and gold dragon stuffed into the top of his hat.

At one point, Bilbo would have thought him to be the most normal dwarf of the whole lot. After all, he wasn't a brooding prince trying to reclaim a kingdom while being chased by a supposedly dead monster (Thorin). He wasn't a manic demon disguised as a dwarf (Kili - no, Kili still wasn't forgiven for messing with Bilbo's hair.) He didn't look like he was an axe-murderer (Dwalin). Or a sly, thieving criminal (Nori). Yes, Bilbo thought that he was the most normal dwarf of the whole lot. Not anymore, though. Not. Any. More. Thorin was surprised as well. He never would have pegged Bofur for one to be hiding something like that. Nori, yes, Kili, probably, Dwalin, maybe. Bofur, no. However, the dwarf king did respect the individual dwarf's privacy - after leaving in the wilderness for over half a century, one develops a deep-seated respect for privacy. So, he made the next rule.

Under no circumstances is anyone allowed to look under Bofur's hat, uninvited.

Bofur pointed out that it was a bit late for that. Kili pointed out that no one would want to.

Part II:

Bofur would like to say that if Kili hadn't looked in his hat, than all this could have been avoided. Meaning, if Kili wasn't the sneaking son of Morgorath that he was, life would be so much easier for everyone else in all of creation. Really, everyone would be better off. However, he digresses. All the work he put in to it though, was completely worth it if you ask him. All he really had to do, was get the measurements without arousing suspicion (child's play, really), get the fabric (once more, surprisingly easy), cut the fabric, (that was actually a bit difficult to do with a pick-axe), sew the fabric, put the details on it (you would not believe all the little knick-knacks you can get just by keeping your eyes open), and just keep Kili and the other dwarves from suspecting anything. He could have done it in his sleep. His excitement wasn't faked. He was genuinely looking forward to seeing Kili's reaction. So, when it was done, he presented his gift to the younger dwarf.

Bofur had set it up so that Kili had no choice but to accept the gift...and use it - yes, Kili, you should have watched your back. And admittedly, though Thorin enjoyed seeing Kili in a hat that put even Bofur's own prize and joy to shame, he did realize the dangerousness of allowing a certain type of behavior - mainly because the before mentioned son of Morgorath would have no qualms about using it if it was allowed to be employed unchecked.

Guilt tripping is not the type of behavior that dwarves partake in.

So, thoughts. I am so sorry for the long wait. I had originally wrote something out. But, then I lost it. And when I finally found it, I didn't really like it, so I had to redo it. Which took a lot longer than necessary. So, still not extremely happy with it. But, I felt bad about making ya'll wait so long that I posted it any way.