Greetings, everybody! I recently saw the 2006 adaptation of the novel Charlotte's Web(and long before that saw the 1973 cartoon version of that book on video)and I decided that, for the 1973 cartoon version of the book in question, I would make a fanfic, post movie, in which one character who's had it too good for too long gets his in the only way suitable for a guy like him. I'm talking, of course, about none other than Templeton, the gluttonous, selfish and dirty rat who would disgust and appall normal rats in real life and in nearly every form of fictional media. He only helps so he can eat more, he cares nothing for anyone but himself, he mocks Wilbur about his supposed future fate(calling him a "future football")and in the end, he's…rewarded with heaping helpings of food from the fair? And even then, he gets by with not caring Charlotte died and her unborn children need a home? Not on my watch! So in this story, Templeton's unhealthy eating habits and life of apathy and indifference finally catch up to him, and when his life ends as a result, guess where he's headed?
THINGS TO NOTE:
This takes place three weeks after the events of 1973's Charlotte's Web.
This story is NOT for the squeamish or easily frightened. Nor for ANYONE who likes Templeton. So if you are weak of stomach and/or a Templeton fan, please turn away now.
I own none of the characters. They all belong to Charlotte's Web.
Rat Bastard In Hell
As invincible and immortal as he seemed to be, Templeton the rat was neither of those things. It had been three weeks since he had helped save Wilbur's life at that fair(though he'd only done it for how there'd be extra food in it for him), and subsequently eaten so much he was fatter than holy hell. Of course, Charlotte reprimanded him for such shameless gluttony, but as with every other advisement, criticism, warning and/or suggestion he heard from anyone else, he paid it no heed whatsoever. In fact, in the past three weeks since the closest thing to a good deed he'd ever done, he'd ironically been making far more of a pig of himself than Wilbur ever would by means of, to the extent he could, moving about to any source of any kind of food he could be lucky enough to find. Amazingly, he was able to find some sort of food surprisingly frequently for one of his corpulent bulk who lived in such a small area as a farm. Every day of these twenty-one days, as a matter of fact.
And now, on this last day of those three weeks, he just happened to be in front of Wilbur and the other animals, at least twice as fat as he'd been after his feast at the fair three weeks ago, and this was saying a lot. They were all appalled and shocked at how Templeton was far, far, far beyond what one would consider morbidly obese, and that he was so happy about it and so very unrepentant about how self-centered and rotten he was. But Templeton didn't care. In fact, as he sloshed around, showed off and jiggled his fat belly to mock them, gross them out and show how much he enjoyed being overblown beyond belief, he was saying: "Seriously, you all wish you all could be me right now! I get everything I want and nothing I don't want! Everything goes my way and my stomach can take any amount of food at any time! And I can only imagine how many she-rats would be fighting over me if they saw me like this! I love being the fattest and luckiest rat on God's green Earth! And to hell with that stupid Charlotte! She's gone, and I'm glad she's out of my hair, or is that fur? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha-Huh?"
Although the last comment enraged the others, especially Wilbur, the sudden cutting off of Templeton's rotten laughter caused them to go from livid to startled and confused, just like the rotund rat was. See, Templeton had felt a sudden jolt of pain in his chest, and he was surprised at it along with how it quickly erased his laughter and wiped the smile off his face. At first, he thought it was just gas, but the pain then shot up his arm and increased in his chest, even sharper than before in both cases, and he said: "Wait a second…this is indigestion, ain't it…no, wait, it'd be in my gut if it were that, and I only feel the lard of my gut…ah, shit! I think I'm having some kind of coronary here…no, wait…" The pain skyrocketed, with all the unhealthy eating he'd had in his life and his massive blubber capacity taking its toll. You know how being obese, having high blood pressure, having diabetes and/or having high cholesterol are the four fastest ways to suffering a fatal heart attack?
Well, I don't think you'll be surprised when I say that Templeton's kind of lifestyle and physical shape most assuredly saw to it that he had ALL FOUR OF THOSE, and he was, here and now, undergoing the consequences of all four of them at once. Needless to say, Templeton was indeed having a massive heart attack, and as he put his hands over his chest, he squealed out what would be his last words: "SCRATCH THAT! I KNOW THAT I'M HAVING A HEART ATTACK! TELL ME THIS ISN'T HAPPENING! E-RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" It wasn't long before all the life was ripped by him and he fell onto his flabby back, his mini-mountain spare tire of a belly showing quite blatantly and plainly as his corpulent corpse lay there for the ultimate irony of them all. I don't think I need to tell you how the other animals viewed his death, especially with how he'd been talking trash just before it, so let's move on to Templeton's soul and what happened to him after it left his dead body.
At first, it ascended up to the pearly gates of heaven, with Templeton going: "Man, I can't believe I just died! How unfair can you get? I'm at the zenith of my life, only for me to be pulled down to the nadir! Ah, well, at least, when I enter heaven, there'll be endless food to me to munch on whenever I damn well please! Oh, my, here we are!" He rubbed his big, fat belly in anticipation of what he thought was to come. He had reached the pearly gates of heaven, and he then waddled over to apply for entrance. But the angels and hosts of heaven saw him there and so did the saints, and they all swarmed in hordes to the pearly gates of heaven, all of them at once going: "STOP!" Templeton abruptly stopped moving, and said: "Oh, hello, heavenly hosts! So, how should I apply for entrance here?" "You shouldn't." an angel replied. "What? You mean I get to enter for free right here and now? Hot dog!" Templeton exclaimed, becoming suddenly starry eyed. "No, no, no. I'm afraid you misunderstand." a saint said. "Excuse me?" Templeton responded, suddenly a bit confused and cocking his fat head to show that confusion(though it was a bit difficult to do thanks to his thick, flabby neck).
"You have been a selfish, uncaring and wretched glutton all your life, with no respect or feeling for anyone but yourself, and constantly being treacherous, mean, dirty, indifferent, nasty, rotten and dishonest. Your life has been worthless and it has also been miserable, undesirable and a waste, to say nothing of unkind, sneaky and disgusting. You are the perfect example of who is not allowed to enter our beautiful, blessed and sacred kingdom of heaven. That you are the epitome of the deadly sin of gluttony and the embodiment of unsavory uncouthness only serves to make this worse." informed a host of heaven. "You are henceforth banished forever from the pearly gates of heaven, and in fact being sent to hell. There is a special place in that fiery netherworld with your name right on it, as a matter of fact."
"What? NO!" Templeton yelled, but then the cloud he was standing on opened up in a way so there was a dark hole under his feet, which just happened to be a long, black tunnel slide which saw to it he would fall all the way from up in heaven and end up down in hell, and since it was made extra wide so even his gigantic girth would easily fit and slide through it, he promptly fell down the long, straight tunnel slight while screaming: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" He didn't stop falling until he had reached the fiery gates of hell, landing right on his back as the gates swung open, with demons galore swarming out to pull him in, though it was a bit more of a difficult task than it would usually be for obvious reasons. Once he was pulled into hell, though, he was tossed onto a slab of brimstone on his back, blubbery belly fully exposed, and then some shackles of brass went across his wrists, ankles and tail. "Hey, what's going on?" he squeaked.
"Welcome to hell, Templeton!" smiled one of the demons before Satan showed up and said: "Yes, this is where you'll be spending the rest of eternity and beyond, and this is how it will be spent, too!" Satan informed him. "We've been a bad boy, haven't we, Templeton? Eating four times your weight in food, selfishly ignoring the needs of others and being a sneaky jerk! Well, as it cannot be denied you are the most gluttonous rat who ever lived and thus are easily guilty of one of the seven deadly sins, namely, gluttony, I have created the perfect punishment for you, and in fact had thought it up before you even got here?" "What are you talking about?" shivered a trembling, terrified Templeton. Satan then responded: "Oh, you wanted specifics? See, I've made it so your punishment will be as follows…there are seven deadly sins, and you're guilty of gluttony more than any of them, by far and wide. As such, every week will be the same deal. To be precise, every day of each week, you will be given a specific and painful punishment which revolves around that enormous, insatiable belly of yours!"
He poked Templeton in the gut with his pitchfork for emphasis, and then continued on: "On every Sunday, five hellcats will come along and eat your entire belly, and everything in it. On every Monday, you will be gutted, eviscerated and disemboweled by whichever demon host of my kingdom of hell here I choose for the job. On every Tuesday, I will send three hellhounds to tickle your belly, pinch it and poke it, but they will do it increasingly hard until it's torn into and then torn apart. On every Wednesday, a giant fire will grown inside of your belly and also all over it, resulting in spontaneous combustion which will burn it up, roast it, cook it, parbroil it, all from the inside out and vice versa. On every Thursday, and this is the closest thing to a treat of all your upcoming punishments, my demons will force feed you endless proportions of various forms of food, and they will continue to do so until even your empty pit of a stomach explodes entirely. On every Friday, your belly will have sharp, hot spikes from the roof of hell fall onto it, pieces of burning hot brimstone and coal embers fall on it and both burn and cut into it. And last, but certainly not least, on every Saturday, your belly will be eaten through by numerous snakes, millipedes, centipedes, scorpions, ticks, earwigs, black widow spiders, stag beetles, army ants and crabs, all of which will swarm all over you and eat the rest of you, as well. Note very, very well indeed that every time a punishment is completed, a special pentagram of hellfire and of gold brass will flash under where you lie and return you to the obese obscenity of a state you were in before it happened, so that your agonies may occur again in a different way the next day, and may be repeated the next week on the day of that particular punishment!"
"Oh, no…" whined Templeton, despair seizing his evil soul as he broke down and became despondent as, dare I say it, hell. "Oh, yes." Satan said. "And we'll all love every single moment of it. I'm sure that if those you caused so much anger and annoyance to in life could see you like this now, they would enjoy watching it as well. Time for your, aha, ha, just desserts to begin and forevermore continue to endure and be so, you ravenous rat of a rapacious rodent!" He then disappeared back to his throne of hell while laughing evilly and thunderously, while the first of the endless cycles, patterns and revolving around the horn circles of Templeton's endless and no holds barred punishment and torture in hell commenced. And, since it was on a Saturday night that Templeton had died, and the amount of time it had taken to lead up to all this made it so by now it was slightly past midnight, that essentially made it Sunday. Which meant that the previously cocky, without a care in the world rat who was Templeton could only watch as five hellcats, snarling, hissing and spitting, ran right at him, gathered around him and wasted no time in chowing down on his belly all at once. His screams of pain could be heard throughout hell, and Templeton regretted ever meeting Wilbur and/or Charlotte from that point on, wishing that neither of them had ever been born, true to selfish, ignorant form. He was never to see the end of this torture which he had unquestionably and permanently brought upon himself.
So, how did you like it? Rate and review, please, everyone! I'm especially interested in seeing the reactions of anyone who hates Templeton and/or was wishing he would get some kind of comeuppance in the 1973 film Charlotte's Web! Hope it worked out as I had intended it to!