A/n: So I know it's been a really long time, do not kill me. Life got in the way in a major way. Notice my name has changed as well on her. I promise to keep updating as fast as I can. Again I want to thank my beta and my muse Nic for everything. And here goes nothing. Song is I'm Not Your Hero by Tegan and Sara.
I'm not their hero
But that doesn't mean that I wasn't brave
I never walked the party line
Doesn't mean that I was never afraid
I'm not your hero
But that doesn't mean we're not one in the same
Chapter 3: I'm Not Your Hero
The sweat was dripping down the side of his face as he pulled his oxygen tank over his shoulder. He held the mask to his face as he saw the apartment building in front of him become fully engulfed in the flames that called his LAFD squad out at two in the morning. This wasn't a common occurrence in the Beverly Hills area. These buildings were usually up to date and the only time he had ever really been called here was if the residents were having a medical issue. Never in all of the time had he been a firefighter had he seen flames this big. He turned around to see the truck connecting to the hydrant to start the hose. His partner, Max, had already opened the door of the building and started spreading water trying to calm the blaze so they could move swiftly through the lower lobby trying to get to the back of the building.
Most of the residents had evacuated properly when the alarms sounded, but the lower level of the apartment housed some of the disabled residents. He knew that with the height of the flames it wasn't long until it spread to the far back and he had only a few moments before the building was covered completely in flames. The smoke was thick and he breathed into his mask as Max led them down the hall to where they heard the alarms still sounding. Max insisted that there was no one left in the building but Finn felt like a final run-through was needed before they stopped the rescue search through the flames. Finn looked around seeing the door of each apartment open before calling out for anyone.
"Is anyone here?" His voice carried through the smoke before putting his mask to his face taking a deep breath of the clean air.
He didn't hear any sounds other than the crackle of the fire around them. Max waved him forward and he moved swiftly. His eyes scanned the doors and noticed that everyone was gone. Max kept gesturing for them to turn around but Finn felt the need to press on. He shook off Max and proceeded down to the end of the hallway finding a locked door. He looked at Max before proceeding towards the locked door using all his force to push the door in.
"Anyone in here?" Max screamed out through the smoke filled room.
Finn could see a light penetrating from the back of the apartment and he could hear a faint noise, so he moved as fast as he could. He found the handle of the door and turned it applying a small amount of force. Once the door was open, he found a much older woman laying disabled on the floor holding on to the leg of her walker. He pulled the mask off his own face and bent down applying it to her face giving her air. The woman had seemed to be falling unconscious and Finn knew that he had only a matter of minutes to get her out. Max dropped the tank he was carrying on the floor and moved to Finn's side as he looked down at the woman. From what they could both see, she seemed physically okay aside from the obvious. She needed some air and they needed to get out of the building before the back of the apartment was engulfed in flames.
After only just a moment of her taking the time she needed, Max and Finn helped her up so she could lean on them. Finn held the oxygen tank for her as Max picked his own up before holding on to the woman tighter. They could hear the flames getting closer as they got to her front door and when Finn looked down the hall, they saw that they entrance way they came in was covered in flames. Finn looked at Max who gestured towards the window across the room. It was hard to see in the smoke but if Finn applied enough force they could break it and exit through the window. The old woman leaned against Max as Finn went over to the window seeing if it opened before doing anything drastic. He tried to force the window open and after several quick tries, he finally got the window open and Max moved the elderly woman over to the window with Finn's help. Max climbed out of the window and touched the ground quietly before reaching in to grab the woman. Finn swiftly and rapidly scooped her up placing her through the open window into Max's arms. She held onto her mask tightly taking slow and deep breaths as Finn could feel himself slowly and surely fighting for air. As the woman's feet touched the ground, Finn started to climb out of the window ready to just get back to the truck.
"Don't forget Fiona! My precious baby dog…" The elderly woman cried out in tears as Finn almost climbed through the window. Finn looked at her through the smoke.
"Where is she?" Finn yelled, and the woman pointed to the dining room of the apartment.
He turned around seeing a small poodle puppy in a kennel yelping a small sound. Finn was surprised he didn't hear it and part of him felt like he had failed. He usually was very observant.
"Take her to the front of the building to get treated and I will be right behind you!" Finn yelled at Max as he watched them waddle off before he headed over to the dining room grabbing the dog kennel.
Finn moved swiftly around the furniture before placing the dog kennel outside the window so he could climb through. As he climb the window seal, he could feel the heat of the flames building up behind him and just as he thought he was home free he felt the window seal crash upon him, pinning him there. For a moment he felt pain before it knocked him unconscious. Not only did the window pane collapse on it, but who knew how long it would be before anyone would find him.
He was lost. It felt like a ton of bricks hit him. It was extremely cold and the last memory he had was heading up the snow bank with Rachel on the snowmobile they had rented, but now he could feel the snow seeping underneath his snowsuit.
"Finn, are you okay?"
He opened his eyes seeing the tint of the snow goggles that he decided to wear. The sky was getting dark and Rachel was bent over him looking down. Her hair was pulled out of her ski cap and her goggles rested on the top of her head; she was shivering in the cold. Finn didn't know how long he had been out, but when he turned his head he saw the snowmobile against the tree. He bit his lip, suddenly remembering what had happened.
"Are you okay?" Finn was more worried about Rachel than himself at this point. He really didn't care that his head was throbbing and his lower body was killing him; his first priority was Rachel and her well-being.
"I'm fine. I mostly just hit my leg on the tree but I think I'm okay." Rachel rubbed her leg trying to reassure him she was okay, but she really was in a lot of pain.
"Oh god, I'm sorry this is all my fault."
"Oh, I'm fine Finn, stop fussing over me." Rachel stood up wiping the snow off of her snowsuit before putting her hand out to help Finn up. "The snowmobile won't start. I've tried three or four times but I've failed."
"I'll try." Finn grabbed her hand standing up slowly feeling the pain in his legs pulsate a little more.
He leaned against the tree looking down at the green and blue two seat snowmobile with its now front end. He was pretty sure that they hit the tree pretty hard head first. He limped over to the back of the vehicle and leaned down gripping the handle of the start. He had to admit his bones hurt and him trying to jump start a snowmobile didn't help. He gave it a few pulls and had no luck. Stopping to take a breath for a moment, Finn leaned against the seat and closed his eyes.
"I'm sorry I distracted you." Rachel mumbled feeling tears welling up in her eyes with fear.
"Rachel, this isn't your fault." Finn said as he heard the pain in her voice. The last thing he could remember was zipping up the hill having some fun before blacking out. He really wasn't sure why Rachel was blaming herself.
"If I hadn't been…" Her eyes looked away from him in shame. "If I hadn't been trying to tease you, we would be at the bottom of the mountain sipping hot chocolate with the group."
Finn looked at her before remembering exactly what was happening when they had crashed. They had been flirting all morning when the group decided to hit the mountains. Rachel was annoyed because she really didn't want to go skiing and Finn found an alternative to that by going snowmobiling.
"Rachel, I am not blaming you for teasing me. If it wasn't clear enough, I obviously liked it." Finn added not being shy. "I lost control of the snowmobile not you." He could see Rachel blushing and he gave her a smile of reassurance.
"Well, I thought I was being cute." Rachel whispered as her cheeks turned bright red.
"If we weren't stranded on this mountain shivering to death, I would take you here and now…" He moved a little closer to her smiling. "But we really needed to find some place before it gets really dark. Considering the snowmobile is broken down, I think we are going to have to walk it."
"I am pretty sure I saw a cabin a little ways down the hill but I don't know if anyone was in it." Rachel hugged her coat feeling the cold breeze pick up.
"I think I remember what cabin you are talking about, but there were no lights on." Finn pondered what he should do for a moment before reaching into his pocket. "I can just call Puck; I completely forgot I brought my cell phone with me."
Rachel smiled, knowing that as soon as they got down the mountain the two of them could enjoy a long warm evening in the huge bed they broke in the night before.
"Hopefully they can get up the mountain before the sunsets otherwise we are screwed." Rachel added as she walked closer to Finn looking down at his phone. His fingers grazed the home button of his iPhone, and it seemed like he was having trouble turning it on.
"It's dead." He shoved the phone back in his pocket.
"Oh great." Rachel rolled her eyes remembering things back from high school. Some things never change. Finn seemed to always forget to charge his phone. She could remember several times when that habit caused an inconvenience. One time while she was planning their wedding, she had to call the caterer that her fathers suggested so the two of them could taste the food. They set up the meeting but Glee club got side-tracked and she had to call to reschedule. Her phone was left in her car and she asked to borrow Finn's, but of course it was dead.
"I was a little pre-occupied last night. The last thing I thought about was plugging my phone into the charger." Finn made a great point. The two of them had been all touchy-feely the night before and she was pretty sure she distracted him.
"Okay, I get it, but it's getting dark and cold out her. Can you walk or does it hurt?" Rachel's voice was tinged with worry.
"I've been through worst." Finn added brushing the remainder of the snow off of him before moving his right hand to hold hers.
The offer was nothing but concern; he knew full well she would deny any romantic gesture. Rachel held his hand as they shuffled slowly down the mountain. They both knew that they had to be extra careful because not only was Finn hurt, but the further they moved down the mountain, the deeper the snow seemed to get. The winds were picking up and the sun had been slowly fading behind the peaks of the mountains. Finn started to worry that they weren't going to find shelter. It seemed like they had been walking all day but just as the darkness was setting in, they came across the small cabin Rachel had seen.
It wasn't well-lit but he could see a faint light bleeding through the dark curtains. Near the front door, he spotted a snowmobile that seemed to have been recently used. Rachel moved a little closer and spotted smoke coming out of the chimney; it made her acutely aware of the cold. She wrapped her arms around her as she continued to snoop and down the side of the building. She could hear a noise coming from the windows and she turned around to face Finn who pushed his finger to his lips telling her to not make a noise. He grabbed her hand and they shuffled back to the front door as he tried to figure out how to approach this moment. He wasn't sure if this person was welcoming or civil but it was becoming colder by the minute and he knew that if they didn't do something soon, they would freeze death. Finn needed to make an executive decision. Ever since he found his way into his firefighter profession, he had felt the need to protect anyone in the path of possible danger, and right now that included Rachel. He inched closer to the door making sure Rachel was a step behind him before he moved his fist to the door knocking. Rachel turned her head looking behind her seeing nothing but a mountain of trees and hills full of snow. It was mostly dark and only a hint of moonlight shone down on them. Finn could hear shuffling behind him and he turned for a brief moment seeing a worried look on her face.
"This feels like one of those horror movies that Kurt made me watch. Next thing you know some mountain yeti is going to come out and claw our faces off." Rachel whispered as Finn rolled his eyes.
"Rachel, yetis don't exist…" Finn was cut off by the sound of the door opening in front of them.
The light seeped out onto the two of them and the heat from the inside poured out onto them. Rachel felt the warmth wash over her and she wanted to jump inside the cabin to heat her up. Finn looked back at the door to see a man about his height standing in the doorframe wearing a pair of long johns and a stocking cap. He moved his hand scratching his beard and Rachel moved a little closer to Finn clinging with fear.
"He looks like a killer." Rachel whispered to Finn. He coughed almost choking trying to hide his laughter before trying speaking up to the mountain man in front of them. He tried but failed when the husky voice spoke.
"Can I help you?" The man said with a deep voice as he leaned against the door frame, his eyes dancing over Rachel's body.
Rachel had already been uncomfortable with the situation, but now this man was staring at her body and she instantly wanted to find a hole to crawl into. Finn felt her grip on his arm tightened and he knew he had to speak up now.
"Um, yeah. Sorry to bother you, but my friend and I got into a snowmobile accident a little ways up the hill and we were wondering if you may have a phone we could use to call for some help or maybe you could give us a ride back to Beaver Creek?" Finn knew he had to be calm and collected because if he made one small move, mountain man could kick him out and then he and Rachel would really be nowhere fast.
The man continued to stare at Rachel as he stepped aside gesturing them into the small cabin. The moment they stepped in, they could now feel the fire heat full force on them as it roared heating the entire room. The two of them stayed close to each other as they heard the door close behind them. Finn turned to face the man and he held out his hand to shake his. "I'm Finn. This is Rachel."
"The name's Duane." He pushed his hand into Finn's and bit his lip as he watched Rachel move closer to him. "Whatcha two thinkin' snowmobiling in a snow storm?"
"Well, we were trying to make it down the mountain before the dark hit" Finn explained as he took off his gloves rubbing his hands together. Rachel kept quiet as Finn did all the talking. "And really, it hasn't started storming yet, just light snow."
"You ain't from around here are you?" Duane inquired as he saw Rachel hiding behind Finn.
"No sir, we are both different parts of the country. Vacationing with some friends." Finn spoke quietly feeling Rachel's hand slip into his own.
"Ah, well, up here in these mountains, if ya hear of a storm rolling in, ya stay inside." Duane moved closer to the fire grabbing the fire poker keeping the fire going.
"Listen, I don't mean to rush you or anything but can I just use your phone. It's getting pretty late and our group will be worried about us."
"Sure thing Sparky, don't get ya thong in a twist." Duane spat at Finn as he pushed his hand into the pocket that looked like he had stitched himself pulling out an iPhone.
Finn and Rachel both looked at each other trying not to laugh. They really didn't want to stereotype this man, but everything about him screamed special. Duane handed Finn the phone and he nodded in politeness towards Duane as he let go of Rachel's hand moving towards the door to dial out to Puck's cell phone. Rachel huffed as Finn moved away from her leaving her with Duane to try and make conversation. She took off her own gloves stuffing them in her coat pocket before moving herself over to the fire warming her hands. She looked at Finn who was trying to dial out and it seemed like he was just getting angry with the phone.
"What part of the states are ya from sugar?" Duane asked leaning against the fireplace pulling his stocking cap off revealing his messy red hair. Rachel looked down at her feet praying that Finn would just forget about the phone call.
"I am from New York City, the big Apple." Rachel's voice was stressed and annoyed.
"No kidding? I traveled there once with my sister, got so drunk I pissed in the street." Duane's face split into a Cheshire cat grin as he ran his fingers through his hair. "Ya must be a model up there?"
"No. Actually I am a Broadway Actress." She said in a matter-of-factly.
"Big time actress in my house?" Duane moved his hand to her shoulder.
Rachel was disgusted and uncomfortable, but Duane didn't seem to notice as he ran his hand over her shoulder and arm. She kept hoping Finn would notice, but he was too busy with the phone.
"Could you please keep your hands off of me?" Rachel snapped as Diane quickly retracted his hands.
"Everything okay over here?" Finn intervened holding the iPhone out to Duane.
"Yep, everything is as fine as peach cobbler on a Sunday afternoon." Duane pulled his stocking cap and moved away from Rachel swiftly. "Did ya get a hold of y'all's friends?"
"Actually, no. Your cell phone is getting poor service out here." Finn moved next to Rachel grabbing her hand for reassurance.
"Probably the storm rolling in, ya two are more than welcome to bunk here." Duane perked up thinking about Rachel under his roof for the night.
"We really need to get back. Do you have a way you can get us down the mountain? We would be able to pay for your help once we reach our group?" Finn suggested as he saw the wheels in Duane's head turning.
"Ya know that storm is coming. I don't want to get stuck tryin' to get out." Duane peaked out of the window seeing the wind pick up. "Besides, my snowmobile is a one-seater so only one of us can go? If ya wait till mornin' I can get my snowplow that seats bout four people. Or if you want, Finn, you can take the one-seater down and I can keep Rachel company."
Rachel cringed as she watched him shake his head. Finn was about to speak when Rachel spoke up for him.
"Look…Mr. Duane," Rachel cleared her throat before speaking again. "We both are really very grateful for your help, but we really need to get down to the bottom of the mountain tonight. I need to see a doctor as soon as possible to check myself out. We both need to get looked at."
"Well, I'm gonna have to get dressed and hope I make it down the mountain 'for the heavy snowfall starts. My plow isn't the greatest; I park it at my shop." Duane moved to the little room across from the kitchen disappearing for a moment.
"Nice, you got him to go and get us help." Finn chuckled.
"Only because he was staring at my breasts. If it were just you, you would be bunking with a bearded man." Rachel winked and laughed.
"Your boobs always worked on me." Finn remembered back to high school when he was a naïve little boy praying over a grilled cheese sandwich to be able to touch Rachel's boobs. The wish was granted but he was pretty sure grilled Cheesus wasn't the reason.
"I would say my breasts are my prize winners but there is more to acting than just looks." Rachel's voice became serious as she saw Duane stumbled out of the bedroom wearing a pair of camo snow pants, a large camo jacket, the same stocking cap, and a pair of boots.
"Alrighty folks, I'm gonna take my snowmobile down to my shop to grab my snowplow. Depending on the storm, it should only take me an hour." Duane leaned over to lace his boots. "If the storm hits, y'all are stuck here alone to ride it out."
"You really don't have to brave the storm for us. We can just bunk on the floor tonight." Finn felt bad for making the poor sap leave his own home to ride out a storm to help them.
"Nah, it's okay." Duane reached for his snowmobile keys and opened the front door. "Make y'all selves at home. If I'm not back here in an hour, feel free to plop a log onto the fire and cook somethin' to eat."
"Well, that guy is super trustworthy." Rachel hissed the moment he was gone, taking off her coat and gloves before sitting down.
"I think he just trusts your boobs." Finn followed suit taking his jacket off as well.
"This is weird. This guy letting us stay in his house. I swear to heaven above if I die tonight, I am blaming you." She bit her lip and ran her fingers through her hair.
"We aren't going to die you drama queen." Finn tried not to laugh but it was hard not to. Rachel was cute when she was scared.
"Do not call me a drama queen!" She smacked his shoulder before settling in.
She really didn't know how to feel about the situation so she decided to just curl up and wait for Duane to come back. What else could she do? Finn was making fun of her and she was going to have to put up with it for the rest of the night.
"It's a sure thing Rachel. The producer agreed with me on this and I am pretty sure Kurt agrees too."
Brody Weston tried to sound logical, but he really wasn't at all. Even at seven in the morning the guy was nothing but pretentious. Sitting on the Subway sandwiched between Brody and Kurt, Rachel could feel her palms getting sweaty and her headache was increasingly growing larger.
"Ah, no. Don't put me into this. I never once agreed to this." Kurt crossed his legs before pulling down his sunglasses and opening his Vogue magazine. "To be honest with you, our guest editor ran a story two weeks ago about this and you are making the biggest mistake since you dated this one."
"Keep your mouth shut Hummel. If you don't support it why are you here?" Brody spoke up looking across from Rachel.
"Because Rachel is my best friend and even if she is making a mistake, I'm still going to be by her side and support her. I have made the mistake before of not supporting her when she needed it and I regret that every day." Kurt looked at Rachel. "Besides, she doesn't need to be alone with a chauvinistic pig like you who is forcing her into a boob job."
"Kurt stop. He isn't forcing me into this. I am making this decision myself." Rachel knew that she need to stop the fighting between the two of them and the only way to do that was to speak up for herself. Sure, she wasn't sure if this was the right decision, but it was a decision none the less and if it was going to push forward her career, then she would do it.
"And I am not a chauvinistic pig, I just care enough to tell Rachel the truth and the truth is she is never going to get a role on Broadway without her chest increasing." Brody crossed his arms and waited for the next subway stop into the city.
"Oh and that's not chauvinistic at all." Kurt scoffed as he saw Rachel roll her eyes between the two of them. "How are you even able to afford this Rach? We are barely making ends meets now with rent."
"Brody's parents are being kind enough to cover the cost for me." Kurt could tell Rachel was uncomfortable and it bothered him that he couldn't help her but he sucked in his pride and stayed quiet. "Though I have never met them, I must remember that when I do meet then to thank them with a dinner or something."
"Oh babe, don't worry about it? They are off in Thessaloniki for the remainder of the summer so I highly doubt they will be around to visit." Brody's words seemed rushed and bothered but Rachel shook her head as the 15th street station was in sight and her nerves began wrecking.
"Well then I will send them a note." Rachel stood up and straightened out her dress as the train came to a stop. Brody and Kurt followed suit and they exited heading towards the doctor's office that Brody had picked out. Doctor Jackson Milford was advertised as best plastic surgeon in New York City. He worked on everyone who was anyone and even offered some great rates or so Brody said. She went for the first consultation about a month prior and even though Rachel felt completely comfortable in her skin, she had never felt so outside of her body than she did that day. Brody and Dr. Milford suggest moving up to a D cup and they both went over books of women who the doctor had fixed. She had to admit this was more Brody's idea then hers. Rachel was pulled from her thoughts as they climbed out of the exit of the subway station and headed faster over towards the doctor's office.
"We have to hurry…" Brody pulled his hand to hers dragging her along the sidewalk with Kurt in tow.
Rachel could hear Kurt grumbling as the swerved around the people walking near them in a rushed speed. She felt the wind whip around her hair and reality was setting in fast, much faster than she ever thought it would. Within a matter of minutes, they were sitting in the doctor's office waiting for the appointment and she was now sweating the idea of going under the knife for a boob job.
"Miss Rachel Berry." The nurse opened the door on the other side and she stood up facing her fate with Brody and Kurt behind her.
"Hey, I found some hot chocolate in the kitchen." Finn's hands were full with two mugs and a bag of marshmallows which were firmly tucked under his arm.
Finn always knew that marshmallows made her day better, especially if the marshmallows were covered in hot chocolate. She could smell it from a mile away and it pulled her from her thoughts if for only a moment.
They had been sitting around for two hours waiting for Duane to come back, but as the wind picked up and the snow got heavier they both realized that he probably wouldn't be back until morning. She had already wiggled out of her snow boots and winter jacket as she watched the fire dance in front of her eyes. Her mind was lost in past images and thoughts she longed to forget. Rachel really didn't know what triggered her memory, but now all she could think about was Brody and the lies he fed her.
"I'm just assuming mountain man isn't coming back tonight." Finn sat next to Rachel on the floor near the fire and opened the bag of marshmallows quickly. He looked at Rachel as he dropped a few in her cup.
"Yeah," she muttered, almost distractedly.
"And when he comes back, you two are going to get married and dance to Cotton Eyed Joe at your wedding." Finn added trying not to laugh.
She was in her own world. The look on her face was sour and her hands gripped the coffee mug. She's distracted. Finn thought as he plopped another marshmallow in his cup.
"And you and he can have mountain babies." Finn hoped that would catch her attention but once again it didn't. "Rachel, hello?"
"What?" Rachel snapped her head up looking at him.
"Why are you so distracted?" Finn asked as he handed her a marshmallow.
"I'm not distracted. I am just thinking." Rachel really didn't know how to approach this. She wasn't purposely thinking about Brody and she knew that she was going to need to try everything in her power to push him from her mind.
"Thinking huh? About what?" Finn was curious. He used to be able to read her mind, but at this moment, he couldn't break the barrier between them. It had been so many years since they had spent any real time together; he was quite scared that he didn't know her at all anymore.
"Just about life back home." Rachel moved her legs to sit Indian style facing the fire to warm up. Finn followed suit as he tried to decide if he should pursue asking anymore questions.
"Missing New York?" Finn found himself asking not sure if he was going to like the answer she was going to give him.
"New York is my home now, and I will forever love my home; but it's good to get away from things." She bit her lip trying to not call attention to her mood drop. "A vacation is what I needed. I haven't had a good time in years."
Finn looked at her trying not to grin. So she was having a good time. He actually enjoyed the fact that he was part of the reason for her happiness, even just for a moment.
"I had built up so much vacation at work and I really didn't want to leave the guys short at the firehouse, but if I didn't use it, I would lose it." Finn chuckled over his mug.
"Do you like working there? I mean..." Rachel cut herself off for a moment trying to figure out the words to say. She was always interested in Finn's life since high school, but she never had the guts to ask Kurt about it. "Does it make you happy?"
Finn was surprised by her question. He always wondered when this moment would come. Puck said it would be bittersweet and fulfilling, but Finn felt the opposite. He didn't want to rub it in Rachel's face that he was living a good life but if he was being honest with himself, there was something missing. Finn took a moment to contemplate his answer. With Rachel Berry this could go one of two ways. One, she could congratulate him on his dreams and hope for happy future for him. Or two, she could get angry for some crazy Rachel Berry reason.
"I am happy, yes. I really like saving people. I feel like I have a purpose in life. Not that I didn't before but when I was struggling to decide what to do with my life, I realized one thing and that was that I loved making a difference in people's lives. Whether it be me filling in for Mr. Schuester back in Lima or helping out someone who is in danger." Finn thought back on his short time in Lima before going to LA. It warmed his heart to see how far he got on his own. Most people thought that Rachel was the rock in their relationship, but Finn showed every one that he could stand on his own.
"I am really happy for you Finn. It was really a long road from what happened between us to now but it is really great seeing you happy. That's all I ever wanted for you." Rachel whispered as she set the cup on the floor next to her.
Finn's eyes followed her every movement, trying to memorize her face in that moment, but he was having a hard time trying not to lean in and kiss her. He gave her a half grin and then looked away trying to figure out what to say next. Rachel heart had melted in front of him.
"So, is New York all you wanted?" This was a touchy subject for Finn. He may have moved on from the fact they both surrendered together, but it still hurt thinking of what it could have been.
"Dream wise, yes. Realistically, no." Rachel wasn't about to admit that her life was a disaster.
She didn't really want to admit it to herself, but living with Kurt, he was sure to tell Rachel how he felt. Finn was confused by her answer. It was wishy washy and he didn't really know how to respond. "Realistically, I was struggling for a long time and still am in a way. Just because I landed a role in a Off-Broadway show doesn't mean anything. My relationship with my parents is slowly fading and apparently the producers on the Broadway scene think I need more on my chest to get a part."
"You don't need to change anything Rachel, you are beautiful and you know that."
"Thank you Finn, but the truth is, the world is cruel and even though one person finds me attractive doesn't mean that the general population does." Rachel frowned as she drew her legs to her chest. Dating Brody Weston had taken a toll on her self-esteem and as hard as she tried, she could shake the feeling of being an ugly failure.
"Are you insane?" Finn chuckled. "You could be on the cover of Playboy."
"No I'm not insane Finn Hudson; I don't expect you to understand the pressures of auditioning in New York. They expect everything of you. They want your clothes to be perfect. Your hair needs to be intact and even your body needs to be toned. I work really hard every day to try and fit the needs of being an actress, but no matter what I do, I get knocked down." Rachel felt an overwhelming need to release her feelings. They had been building up forever.
"Where is this coming from? Rachel, you were never like this in high school. You had your ups and downs but you loved your body..." Finn didn't understand how she went from feeling really comfortable in her skin to barely being able to speak about it. He wasn't sure if this was her wanting to open up to him or if she was just trying to vent. Either way he was going to be there to listen.
"I have always been like this; I was just sheltered in high school. Lima is completely different compared to New York City. Just because I was an understudy in Footloose for the Lima College Community Playhouse, doesn't mean anything. They eat you alive in New York. Either your nose is too big or you are too tall or even your boobs aren't big enough."
Rachel released a long sigh, suddenly realizing that perhaps she was releasing a little too much anger. Finn didn't really know how to respond. The words coming out of her mouth shocked him. He didn't know she was having so much trouble with body image and part of him wanted to kick himself for not being able to help her. The only thing Finn thought could fix the situation was him kissing her. He leaned in closer to her putting his right hand on her the right side of her cheek. Finn felt like he was in heaven as soon as he felt her plump lips touching his. His thumb caressed the side of her face running it slowly up and down her cheek as he got lost in the heated kiss. Rachel soaked it in for a moment finally feeling wanted. She hadn't felt this feeling in ages. She almost felt happy as she felt his hand caress her face like he did in high school. Finn hadn't changed. He was still the same sweet and caring guy she fell in love with the first time she saw him. When she felt him pull away, she pouted.
"Trust me when I say you are beautiful. I don't care what those uptight New York Producers say. If they can't see you for talent and the beauty you are, then that musical is not worth it." Finn continued to stroke her cheek as he leaned in one more time with a peck. He grinned against her lips and pulled away grabbing his cup standing up. "Do you want some more?"
"No, I'm fine." Rachel picked her cup back up watching Finn head back to the kitchen. For a moment she was shell shocked by what she had just felt. She missed feeling as if someone was attracted to her. Finn meddled in the kitchen for a few minutes before making his way back to Rachel who seemed like she was lost in thought once again on the floor.
"Penny for your thoughts?" Finn asked as he sat back on the floor next to the fire warming up again.
"I was just thinking about you," Rachel's smile grew across her face as she pushed her hair over her shoulder. "and what it must be like to work as a firefighter."
"It's challenging. I learned a lot of great things though. I meet some amazing people too." This wasn't a conversation he'd ever thought possible; after all, they had a past, and after everything, he was pretty sure that things would never be the same, but part of him did want to gloat about his successful career and the fact that he was no longer the doughboy Santana once mocked. "I really feel like I found what I wanted to do with my life. Not to mention it does keep me in shape."
"That it has." Rachel giggled before winking at him. "I was talking to Noah this morning, how's your back?"
"What are you talking about?" Finn knew exactly what she was talking about but he was trying not think about it. He was trying to forget about the physical therapy that he had went through and the time he had missed at work. It bothered him to this day that he felt sloppy on the job. He felt like the accident was his fault.
"Noah said that you were having back pains on the way up here, so I inquired as to why. He said you had a work related accident not too long ago, so I was just concerned." They had been pretty rough in bed and if she would have known that he had been injured, she would have calmed herself down.
"Puck does love to open his mouth doesn't he?" Finn's voice took on an edge, and he made a mental note to punch Puck.
"He was worried just like I am."
"I'm fine." Rachel could feel Finn getting defensive and she wasn't sure if she should hold back or keep pushing him. Finn could feel her eyes burning a hole through his head "Listen, yes, I had an accident. It was two months ago and I am recovered. We really don't need to worry about it."
"Finn, I've been..." Rachel bit her lip for a moment before speaking, "rough with you. I really wish I would have known."
"So you can take pity on me? I don't think so, plus I wasn't complaining the other day was I?" Finn didn't really feel like being the victim tonight, he dealt with that at work.
"I'm not going to pity you. If anyone knows anything about wanting the truth, it's me." She whispered with a half frown as her fingers ran through her hair. His eyebrows rose for a moment in confusion.
"The truth huh? Well, if I know anything being honest is the key." He shrugged, unsure of how to reply; lies had been a part of their lives before, especially in high school, but her pain seemed fresh. Someone had hurt her recently, but he didn't know how to approach it. They weren't high school kids anymore. Just because high school Rachel felt better with a hug and a kiss didn't mean that adult Rachel felt the same way.
"I wish someone could have told me that years ago." She frowned as she put her cup on the floor before placing her head on her knees.
"I'm assuming he lied to you?" Finn wasn't trying to pry, but he wondered. He always did. Brody never seemed like the kind of guy who cared about the truth.
"Yeah, more than I would like to admit." She whispered.
"Well, I still have a penny and I'm still interested in your thoughts."
She watched as Brody carried her bags into the hospital room. This was the first time he had ever done something gentleman-worthy in all the years they had dated. It was quite sad that it took a boob job for him to be kind. Rachel found herself sitting quietly on the hospital bed picking at her nails nervously. She never thought she would go through with this. Up until now, it was all just talk. Even when she had her nose dilemma in high school, she never fully thought she would actually get a nose job, but then again Finn Hudson was there pulling her out of the clouds. Rachel was an adult now and she was making a grown up decision. She saw Brody take the seat by the window texting away on his phone as she sat scared out of her wits.
"Rachel?" She heard a voice ring from the hallway before she saw Kurt entering the room holding a small potted plant. Even though Kurt didn't support her decision, he still was a great friend. Rachel smiled leaning in to hug him as Brody rolled his eyes.
"Thank you for coming Kurt. I know that you may not support this but I'm glad you're here." Rachel reached for the potted plant setting it on the side table.
"I would never support altering your body to get ahead in your career." Kurt rambled knowing that he was probably annoying Brody.
"It's not only for that Hummel. It's going to boost her self-esteem through the roof." Brody added with a sly grin making Rachel uneasy.
"Or are you also implying she will look better to you, which will improve your sex life?" Kurt was pressing some dangerous buttons, but he clearly didn't care.
"I never said that." Brody began getting defensive holding his hands up. "But, Rachel and I are always honest with each other so I can't completely say that isn't a lie. It couldn't hurt."
"See Rachel?! You are altering yourself for him." Kurt hissed angrily. If he wasn't so small, Rachel was pretty sure Kurt would have attacked him.
"Is that true? You want me to alter myself because you aren't attracted to me?" Rachel could feel her own anger building up inside her as she took a deep breath to calm herself down.
"Rachel, if I wasn't attracted to you I wouldn't be dating you." Brody tried touching her face to reassure her but she slapped his hand away. "Oh come on, seriously if Kurt wanted Chase to get a penis extension, you would be all for it."
"Excuse me, keep Chase and me out of your sick deluded dreams." Kurt scoffed grabbing Rachel's hand for support.
"Hummel shut it before I shut it for you." Brody snapped before looking at Rachel. "So, basically you are telling me you wouldn't change your appearance to make me happy?"
"What happened to 'it will boost your career'?" Rachel whispered.
This was it. This was the final straw that was going to end their relationship for good, but the sad part was that it took her years and a boob job to see Brody's true colors. When Brody didn't say anything, Rachel pressed her lips together nodding with a final acceptance with what was happening.
"You know what, I'm glad I learned this before they cut me open." She crawled out of the bed holding her gown so her backside didn't show. She reached for the bags Brody stashed in the corner and started pulling out some clothes.
"Rachel, come on!" Brody snapped as he tried to stop her from grabbing her things. Kurt tried to move in between them, but Brody pushed him away.
"You made me feel like the only way to move forward in this business was to cater to the director's needs and follow through with getting my breasts done. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't, but using my weakness to strive for fame at any cost to cater to your own pleasure, it's sick." Rachel could feel tears welling up in her eyes. "Was the director a friend of yours, is he a part of your scheme?"
"Everything that director said was the honest truth. I had no input in that but he made valid points; color your hair, wear sexier clothes, get a boob job. You are proving yourself to being a willing actress as well as making yourself hot. It isn't a crime that I want something out of it." Brody crossed his arm.
"You get something out of it?! I could kill you for the person you made me!" Rachel threw her sweater at him. "You made me materialistic and shallow and unhappy. Leaving me with a feeling of always having to live up to the standards of Brody Weston."
"I'm sorry I care about the kind of arm candy I have. Plus, if we were ever going to get married, I would have needed to have a wife that wasn't a complete wreck." He chuckled, and Rachel's eyes widened feeling as if the true Brody was finally emerging.
"Whoever thought that I would marry you has serious problems." Rachel laughed before going behind the curtain and changing into a blue cotton dress that buttoned up in the front. She slid into her flats as and made her way from behind the curtain. She stopped and looked at Brody before throwing her gown in his face. "You wanna know something, let's change something about you."
"Excuse me? This is not about me, this is about you." Brody threw the gown on the floor watching Rachel putting her things in her bag.
"Let me tell you what to change in order for me to be attracted to you." Rachel moved closer to him. His eyes followed her as if he was trying to defend himself from an on-coming attack. "You can start by growing a few inches taller than you are. I think it's obvious that I prefer taller men."
Rachel heard Kurt choke back a laugh as Brody's face became pale.
"Can you stop?"
"No, there are a few more things Brody. Next would be your hairstyle, dye it a little darker and make it a little pointier, maybe a fin." Rachel knew this was eating at his ego and she couldn't help but like it. "Also, let's change that face of yours. I really hate the donkey look you're sporting."
"I've never tore you down like this Rachel..." Brody whispered.
"Oh you didn't? I realize now, after so many years, that you did nothing but brainwash me." Rachel grabbed her bag moving towards the door.
"Brainwash you? I pulled you away from the horrible life you built up in Ohio. I got you dressing like a normal human being and I got you away from the giant Frankenstein that followed you around like a sad little puppy. How the fuck is that brainwashing?" Rachel didn't take the time to contemplate her next actions. Her hand clenched into a fist; she retracted her arm back, and she punched him square in the face, breaking his nose. Brody fell back against the bed holding his face.
"I should have realized from the beginning, you are nothing compared to him." Rachel shook her head sadly.
"Yet, you were going to alter your body for me. I think that just shows how you really feel."
"No, now I know it makes me really stupid. Come on Kurt, I'm not doing this. Never let me step foot into a plastic surgeon's office ever again." Rachel gripped her bag as she headed towards the door before being blocked by a nurse.
"Um, excuse me but-" Rachel cut the nurse off from speaking.
"I'm really sorry to have brought you all here to work but I've decided to not go through with the procedure. If there are any fees to cancel, please charge it to my ex-boyfriend, Brody Weston." Rachel sneered.
"Actually, we were coming to tell you Mr. Weston's credit card seems to be declined. Apparently, the card holder, a Mrs. Lucille Weston, has frozen any transactions." The nurse handed Rachel the papers.
"Let me guess, your parent's didn't know?" Rachel shook her head laughing. "So much for telling each other everything."
"You almost got a boob job?" Coming from anyone else, Finn would not have been shocked.
Most women in LA had made it the norm for breasts implants to be a thing, but hearing it come out of Rachel's mouth surprised him. Rachel Berry had gone through a self-esteem crisis back in high school, but he had thought she had grown out of it. Maybe life in New York was more like LA than he thought.
"Yeah, I was stupid and my self-esteem had been pretty low. It still is. The funny thing is, two weeks after Brody and I broke up, I got a callback from the musical I auditioned for." Rachel shrugged with a small smile.
"First off, you are not stupid. You have every right to question your body even if the answer is wrong. You just wanted to be happy." Finn wasn't really good with words and he really didn't support Rachel's decision of getting fake boobs, but he would have supported her through it regardless of if she had the surgery or not. "Secondly, I've been holding my tongue about Brody for a really long time because he was your boyfriend but no disrespect to you, the guy was trouble the moment we stepped into Callbacks with Kurt and Blaine."
Though their relationship was purely sexual and nothing more, Rachel had to admit she loved the feeling of Finn believing in her again. It had been years since she saw the look he was giving her at this moment. His eyes were just as soft as they were back then and she found some peace and serenity staring into them.
"I wish you would have told me much sooner because it would have saved me a lot of trouble and a lot of time from icing my hand." Rachel giggled, flexing her fingers in memory of the punch.
"I bet you looked super cute though when you punched him." Finn's lips turned up in her favorite half smirk.
"Me kicking butt turns you on huh?" Rachel leaned a little closer to him.
"Well, it has always been a fantasy of mine seeing you kick Weston's ass."
"Even if I don't have the boobs of Pamela Anderson while doing it?" Her eyebrow rose in wonder.
"I've seen fake boobs before and if you must know, they aren't to my liking. I'm also not Puck, so does that answer your question?"
Rachel was biting her lip, and damn it if that wasn't his biggest weakness. They were guests in the man's home, but his restraint was beginning to wear thin.
"Puck has always loved fake boobs, he did marry Santana."
"Yeah and he also has a sex bucket list, a thousand ways to have sex before he dies." He chuckled.
"Do you have one of those?" She couldn't help her curiosity.
"Not a list per say but there are a few sexual desires I would love to fill." Finn winked at her.
"Mind telling me a few?" Rachel probed.
"Oh look at you being such an eager beaver."
"I'm interested to see what you want to do. We've grown up a lot and I'm a different person emotionally and physically as well." Rachel smiled again at him.
"Well it's pretty clear I'm still sexually attracted to you. I think if you asked me twenty years down the line, I would say the same thing Rach. You are always beautiful to me."
His words were from the heart; for once he wasn't trying to seduce her. That was the problem at the moment, his heart felt one thing but his mind knew another thing. He knew that Rachel didn't want anything more than just friends with benefits and maybe that wasn't the best idea between the two of them. They had a long history together and he knew that it would just make things more complicated than he needed it to be. He watched as Rachel twirled her brunette curls around her fingertips, grinning to herself.
"You know that when you say that to me, it makes me feel like I'm actually wanted." Rachel whispered running her fingertips over her lips.
Finn watched her for a moment until he couldn't take it any longer. He moved closer, letting his hand reach for her face, thumb rubbing her cheek. After a moment's consideration, he leaned in, kissing her softly and almost innocently. Their lips touched and he felt the spark that was there back then. Sure he had kissed her already this trip but it was nothing like it was now. He felt Rachel's lips move in unison with his and her hands moved to his chest resting them there. She pulled away looking up at him.
"What's wrong?" Finn asked as his hands moved to rest on her waist pulling her closer.
"Is it wrong to have sex in a complete stranger's house?" A giggled escaped from Rachel's lips as she wrapped her arms around his neck.
"Probably, but we haven't been saints this trip have we?" Finn winked before putting his arms underneath her bottom laying her down on the floor beneath them.
He moved her arms from his neck and pinned the down carefully as she giggled up at him. He looked at her for a moment before moving his lips to her neck sucking slowly and gently on her collarbone. Rachel let out soft whimpers her hands balled into fists. He moved his hands down her arms and moved them to her waistline. His lips moved to hers once again and Rachel's fingers trailed up Finn's back before running through his short hair. She tugged on it lightly and Finn pulled away from her plump lips.
"Do you know how sexy you look right now?" Rachel whispered as Finn watched her lips curl with each word she said. He couldn't control his body and he rolled to his back pulling her into a straddled position in his lap.
"You know what my body does really hurt from the accident. Maybe you should take care of me. Give me a little TLC." He smirked at her as his hands hovered over her waistline.
"Nurse Rachel is here to treat all your wounds." Rachel bent down kissing his neck as Finn's hands roamed up her back underneath the pink shirt she wore under her winter clothing. Her skin was warm under his fingertips.
"Yes Nurse Rachel, give me a check up." He pulled her shirt over her head dropping it on the floor.
"It seems like you have a low pulse. Maybe you need some mouth to mouth." Rachel moved her lips over Finn's. Every time her lips touched his, she felt sparks fly. It was as if she was back in high school again and she had to be careful not to get caught. She'd missed this feeling for such a very long time. Finn's hands traveled up her back to unclasp her soft blue bra. She pulled away from his lips for a moment to pull it off and as she went down to kiss his lips again, Finn stopped her.
"Well Nurse Rachel, I have no clue what Brody was talking about. You have a perfect pair of breasts." Finn moved his hands up to her and massaged them slowly, occasionally pinching her nipples with his fingers. Rachel's mouth fell open with a small moan as his fingers rolled in a circle.
"I think it's time I gave you a full examination." She moved his hand from her breasts and she sucked on his index and pointer finger for a moment. He sat up slightly and she quickly moved her hands to the hem of his shirt pulling it off his upper body. Rachel threw it next to her shirt as she dropped her lips back to his neck sucking gently. Her lips lingered there, and then traveled down his body, leaving a trail of soft, warm kisses.
"A thorough check up right?" Finn raised an eyebrow, and Rachel nodded between kisses as she reached the waist line of his pants.
"So thorough that when you are done, you will feel like a new man." Rachel winked, gripping the waistband of his pants and pulling them down along with his boxers; her hand wrapped around his erection. "Well, I think I might be feeling a little hot as well, maybe I should check to see if I have a fever."
"You might want to check it."
Finn moved his right hand to the back of her head, and she lingered over his tip. She let her eyes meet his before swiftly taking him into her mouth; he guided her head lower, her lips wrapping tightly around his length. Rachel hummed against him, drawing out a low grunt of pleasure. He wasn't sure how long he could take this; being with Rachel again like this was exhilarating, and it took all his self control not to fall over the edge. His hand tangled in her hair and guided her up and down, her tongue running along his length over and over. Rachel released him with a small pop, a triumphant grin spreading across her face as she tugged his pants and boxers the rest of the way off his legs.
"I think Nurse Rachel is better. I think it's time to continue my examination."
She stood up over him pulling down her snow pants dropping them to the floor and leaving her in just her panties.
"Anything you need..." He pulled Rachel back down to the floor.
He let his fingers linger over her lacy panties and gripped them pulling them down to her feet and onto the floor next to his. He nudged her legs open for just a moment to see what he had been dying to see all day. The moisture soaked through her panties, and he wondered just how long she'd been so wet. It still drove him crazy that he could do this to her. He ran his fingers up her inner thighs just feeling the heat penetrate off her body.
"I also think maybe I should examine you as well."
She let herself surrender control to him, desperate for more of him, more of his touch. More than anything she wanted to feel him inside her, buried within her so deep that they were almost one person. But Finn had other plans. He loved teasing Rachel and if there was one thing that Finn had become good at, it was foreplay. His fingers lingering, his lips on her neck, exactly the way she liked to be touched. As she closed her eyes, Rachel let her head fall against his shoulder as his fingers touched her wet lips gently teasing her.
"Yes, looks good to me. Very wet." Finn whispered against her neck as he left a trail of kisses to her shoulder as he slipped two fingers inside her feeling her wetness engulf him. She let out a moan against his skin, and he slowly pumped.
"Finn...oh..." She let out louder moans as she glanced down seeing him work her body slowly.
"Is that good?" Finn muttered, and she began to rocked her hips in rhythm with the thrusts of his fingers.
"Yes...yes...yes..." She grabbed onto his shoulder and moved in motion with him while Finn watched her fall apart in his hand. He ran his thumb over her clit and rubbed it slowly knowing that touching her little bundle of nerves would make her body convulse in pleasure.
"Come on baby, I know you're close." Finn's fingers continued to move.
Rachel fell against his chest breathing heavily; her body trembled with her impending climax. She ran her hands down his chest, her head falling back with a keening moan. He felt her clench around him and watched as her lips formed into the shape of an 'O', letting out the sweetest moan he had ever heard.
"That felt amazing." She said leaning back to kiss him. "But I think it's time Nurse Rachel finished her last bit of an examination."
She settled back into his lap rubbing herself against his tip. Rachel wrapped her arms around Finn's neck to gain control over him. Kissing his lips, she pushed her body down onto him feeling his hardness fill her body. She let out a moan that matched Finn's grunt and she smiled.
"Fuck Rach." Finn grunted as he held her by the waist feeling her move up and down on his cock.
She was tight, she had always been tight. Rachel's hands ran through Finn's hair again and he moved his hands to her bottom to keep her in motion with him. It was like ever since Rachel Berry walked through the door of the cabin, he wanted to be inside her every day. Wanting desperately for them to orgasm together, Rachel matched his rhythm, her hips rocking with his as his grip grew gently. With each moan, Finn found himself slowly going to the edge before pulling away wanting to make it last longer. Rachel leaned forward, gently kissing and nibbling at his earlobe.
"Finny, please...I need it." Rachel's whimpers sent him over the edge.
Moments later, his hips jerked and he released inside her. Rachel was what he wanted and he knew that he had to fight for it. She lay in his arms for just a moment feeling him still inside her and she didn't want to move. He was still grunting moans in her ear and she smiled.
"That felt so good." Finn said holding onto her tightly.
Rachel laid her head on his shoulder not knowing how to feel. This was supposed to be just about sex. They were supposed to be friends, but it seemed like Finn was pushing for so much more. Biting her lip she pulled away, crawling off to collect her clothes.
"Let me take you on a date Rachel. Just one and after that if you don't like it, then...then we don't have to move any further." Rachel slid on her panties, unsure how to respond.
"On one condition." Rachel murmured with a nod.
"We go one night without sex." Rachel wanted to know that it was more than just sex. Sure they had a history, but if they couldn't last without the sex, then it would just be another pointless relationship.
"Deal." Finn put his hand out as she shook it.
"Now, let's eat something before we go round two because I know you are thinking about it." Rachel stood up heading to the kitchen and winked leaving Finn in a gaze of happiness. Did he finally get his chance?