A/N: Oh gosh! I feel so horrible for discontinuing 俺の優しくてかわいい猫. I'm just not that inspired anymore. I also feel guilty for hurting L in here! Aww, I'm sorry! TT-TT! I also made things up so don't be angry with me… Thanks for reviewing Gaaralover2247 and sakurablossom22. Some readers said in their PMs that it was rushed and I agree with them though I was planning to a write a prequel of this fanfic.

Almost of them requested for lemony smutness and goodness but I'd reserve it for the prequel, ok? It gave me a little hope of continuing this and I was also planning to discontinue this. I'm also sorry for them because I'm planning to discontinue and never write anymore. I'm not motivated anymore and yesterday, I think that I'll stop writing fanfics. This may be one of the last fanfics I'm going to make so…farewell to thee dear readers…maybe, just maybe…

Warnings: Extreme OOC, OC coming up, extreme drama (I don't care anymore), bitchy and evil Misa, depressed Light, sad preggers L, and I don't know what to type anymore…May be the last chapter before I discontinue this…and again, just maybe…L's labor is coming up and watch what he'll do…

Pairings: LightxL

"Pain and sorrow, here I come"

L walked through the dark streets and alleys, rain falling on him. He couldn't stop crying if he wanted to. He should be happy! For leaving Light and waiting to give birth to Ushio and give his baby to his life and also results L to die or never see them again is saving them! He doesn't care anymore. He just wanted to save them so that they wouldn't have to bear the burden of a person like him. What Light gave him was enough; love, protection and most of all, care. Those were too much, he felt like taking advantage of him while he was just a monster. L knew from the very start that he'll never fit in with other people. He was awkward in social interaction and also, he was not like the most people in the world.

He was just a detective, hiding in the shadows and living a lonely life. But when the Kira case, the taskforce and Light came, he felt like he was treasured by them and he couldn't have been happier in his life. The most intelligent and handsome guy in the whole Japan fell in love with him and wanted to be with him. When he stares at him in his eyes, those auburn colored eyes were filled with love. Light defended him when people speak ill of him, he always embraces him when he has nightmares or bad memories. Most of all of them is that Light says 'I love you' to him every day when they were alone.

L's tears spilled down to his cheeks and he was feeling cold now. He was also scared, it was dark and he was afraid of the dark because it reminds him of that 'cursed' day. Having a blanket around him and having a hot chocolate sounded like a good idea. He then falls to his knees, tears still spilling in his eyes. Caressing his big stomach, he struggled to get up and continue on his way. When he managed to get up, he tried to walk away much further from the taskforce, which was 5 kilometers away. He continued to walk, humming the dango song for his dear baby Ushio. He then sees a forest nearby with lots of trees, perfect place to rest.

He then managed to sit down on one of the biggest trees and tried to fight back oblivion. He has to stay awake, what if the taskforce find out that he was gone and find him here? He can't do that! Stroking the child, he thought of good stories to tell his baby inside his womb. He tells of his good memories about his parents, his young successors, and mostly, his good memories with Light. The rain stopped pouring, and a honk of a car broke his oblivious senses. He then grabbed his backpack and began running, thinking it was the taskforce, searching for him. He kept on running through the trees and the plants then he lost his consciousness.


At the taskforce, Light woke from his sleep, finding himself in the chair and back pains. He groaned, trying to get up from the chair to find L. When he hurt his hands or back, L's dainty kiss would make it all go away. While walking his way to the bed where L usually sleeps, he remembers a time when he hurt his back by carrying a lot of files. Watari at that time, was sick and couldn't move. Light took his place and in result, hurting his back. No wonder why Watari would get sick. L sees him struggling pain through gritting his teeth. His precious one came to his side and kissed his cheek oh so tenderly. Like a miracle, the pain in his back was gone! He told L and his beloved just smiled sweetly.

When he reached to the bed, he was shocked to see no L in it. The blanket and the sheets looked untouched. 'Strange…' Light thought. When L got pregnant, there's no time that he didn't sleep. He went to the kitchen, suspecting a possibility that L might be hungry and went to get his favorite dangos. When he arrived at the kitchen, there was no L! Light was starting to get worried. He went through all the rooms of the taskforce, including Misa's room, the 'main' office and Watari's office, waking them all up in the middle of the dawn.

He told them what he thought happened. The taskforce were shocked to discover that L was gone. Light went to Watari for help. When the old man helped to check the surveillance and discovered that L was now truly missing. They didn't see L going out. Light told his father about L and they hurried off to the road. They didn't care if it was 3:00 in the morning, L could be in danger. They searched and searched and searched but could not find the pregnant detective.

Light and his father went back to the taskforce headquarters, sadness taking over them. Soichiro was excited, he was going to be a grandfather and he couldn't wait to hold his son's baby. The fact that L was missing is hurting him and his son. He knew there should be a reason why L was gone. He couldn't have been kidnapped. The young sleuth never left the taskforce headquarters when he got pregnant. Never in his life has he seen those two separated from each other. They were like lovebirds who stayed by each other's side.

Light cried, where was L? He was gone and he had no idea where L might be. He thought of things that might have happened when they were all asleep. Maybe L went outside near the door because he wants fresh air? No, it can't be. When L wanted some fresh air, he would just simply go to the headquarters' rooftop and stay for there for 30 minutes or an hour. Maybe…then his thought hit Misa. Ever since they returned from Okayama, L was acting like he was scared of Misa. Maybe she has something to do with this! He has to find out…


L woke up in a house, he then sat up but an old woman insisted that he should get some more rest. He did as he was told. He was curious of where he was, he could remember running in the forest. The old woman seemed to read his mind and said

"You're in my house, young child. I found you unconscious in the ground. It's so dangerous for you to be outside especially you're pregnant! I think you're in your 7th month. You shouldn't be walking alone…"

"I-I was just taking a walk just now! I-I- I think I should-"

"You ran away, didn't you?"


"There's no reason for you to keep this secret…I know something about you that you yourself don't know but I understand why you left him…"

"I'm sorry for being rude but who are you and why do you know that I…ran away?"

"Let's start from the beginning my child. My name is Misuzu Mori, your grandmother…"

L gasped. How could it be? This woman is his…his…GRANDMOTHER?! The old woman shook her head and smiled softly.

"I did the same thing. When Elizabeth was a baby, I left her in Liam's care, hoping that it would keep them both safe…my mother lived for a long time. Her name was also Elizabeth. She was loving, caring, and most of all, pure and defensive of the ones she loved. When she was conceiving me, she was cursed and she sacrificed herself just for me to live…"

"Of course, I was heartbroken. My dear mother has lived a long life and I…I WANTED HER TO WITNESS OF THE LIFE THAT I MADE WITH HER LOVE, AND I NAMED MY DEAR DARLING AFTER MY MOTHER BECAUSE I RESPECT HER SO MUCH!…I bore Elizabeth and tried to get near her but I can't get a chance. Then I heard that she was married to a really handsome and strong man named Gabriel…"

"I was happy to hear that she was happy with her new life. I also get to see the day when you were born. You and Elizabeth remind me so much of my mother, L or should I say Yu-chan? I heard Elizabeth calling you that when you were a toddler, you were such a sight. So beautiful that I just want to come out of my hiding place and hold you…"

L began crying. It was true that his mother called him Yu-chan. It was also pity that his grandmother's mother died while doing the same thing and his grandmother did the same thing and now he's doing the same thing. It's as if it's a tradition of their family but his mother didn't run away and left him with his father…

"So…you've been here? All the days of your life you spent living in the forest?"

"It's been 39 years, your mother bore you when she was just 20 and now, you're nineteen and your birthday is coming up, my child. It'll be just like your mother, just 3 more days and your birthday's here! You should know that I knew you're talking to your baby and you just don't realize it, Ushio can hear everything you say and she can feel whatever emotion you feel"

"Did Mother felt all the emotions that you felt?"

"Yes. When she was just 11, she remembered things about what I said to her and Liam was also sad to hear the words Elizabeth heard that I said to her"

"I…I don't want Shio-chan to feel sadness…"

"Then find something that makes you happy aside from being with Light…"

"I…I don't know…"

"Well, let me help you, Yu-chan. Ever since you were little, you liked animals…when you and Elizabeth went to walk, you saw an Akita dog and you patted its head gently then you turned to look at Elizabeth with a big smiling face…the dog leaned again to let you pat its head again. The owner of the dog was glad that her dog likes you! You were so little at that time, you might not remember…"

"What if I give it a try? Here in the forest…"


Misa grunted while Rem watched her. Light was in front of them with a scowl on his face. Rem knew that he discovered that L was missing. Fortunately for Misa, when she finished demanding L to go away, the camera started to record when Light arrived with a big bag full of dangos. Light suspected that Misa did something to L. After a whole hour scowling and sulking, they argued.

Light knew in the depths of his heart that Misa hurt L mentally, he was certain and when he was certain, there was no way for him to be wrong. Misa denied the accusations, trying to restrain herself from blurting out what she really did. Rem and Ryuk kept watch, Rem hated Yagami Light but she wanted to tell him that Misa forced L something that he doesn't want to do. Ryuk just watched for entertainment.

The taskforce found no letter or note that might contain any of L's disappearance's clues. They feel sorry for Light, who was adamant on finding L. He was working himself to death finding him and he also said he would not rest until he finds him and their baby. Soichiro and Watari tried to stop him but they couldn't. Light was insisting that he was going to find L and let his lover tell him what happened.

On the inside, Light was scared. Beyond scared, frightened. He was frightened because if something happens to L, he has to find Ushio and marry Misa for their baby's sake. He didn't want it to happen, he wanted to marry his little fiancé who was always there for him and smiles at him and kisses his cheek daintily.

Misa, on the other hand, was frustrated. Light didn't give up on asking accusing questions. She was not that smart but keeping strategies to keep her secret unrevealed in tiring. But most of all, she was not going to give up. She was determined to have what was hers and what was hers is Light's love and attention. She wanted to have those but that hideous detective took it from her grasp.

She then had an idea. She took out a piece of Death Note and the small torn notebook sheet touched Light's hand. Light's eyes widened as he remembered his memories…planning to be the god of the new world and also his plan to kill his beloved L…he rose from his seat and went to the bathroom, leaving a smirking Misa, an entertained black shinigami and a worried white shinigami.

He reached to the bathroom sink and washed his face. There's no way and absolutely and precisely, NO WAY he's going to kill his lover. He was still remembering his evil plans and the Kira inside his head was slowly driving him crazy. A knock from the bathroom and Matsuda's voice interrupted his battle of sanity against Kira inside his head. He replied that he was alright and at that, Matsuda left.

'You knew that you want him dead, Light…Don't deny it…you want to kill him and see his scared face in front of you, eyes begging you to have mercy…'

"I don't want to kill him! If you dare touch L, I won't let you get away with it! Dare even lay a finger on L, I won't hesitate to kill you for his sake!"

'How can you kill me? You and I are in the same body…'

"Even if I have to kill myself to save him, I will…Nothing could stop me from that!"

'Eh? That motivated? What about our plan becoming the god of the new world…I know that you want it…just give up and let me take over…'

"I won't let you! I won't let you hurt him or our child…you have to get through me…"

'HAHAHAHAHA! YOU intimidate me no longer…Yagami Light…'

'L, my dear…I don't know where you are but always know that I'll protect you even if I get to breath my last!'

Light's eyes widened when he heard a laugh, he knew that laugh very well…it was L's sweet little laugh.

"Light, don't let Kira win! I know you can do this!"

'Keh! That useless detective! Ha! Do you see that, Yagami Light? Detective L is too puny! Cleanse the world from evil is our goal, Light! That damn sleuth is EVIL! HE WANTS YOU DEAD! HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU, HE'S JUST USING YOU! USING YOU SO THAT HE'LL WIN THIS GAME! HA! WHAT A CHEATER!'

Light's blood boiled inside him. How dare Kira insult L and even say that L was evil?! His lover was too sweet and lovable to use someone! If someone could do that, it is KIRA, NOT L! He won't let that Kira of a devil touch the purest angel he had ever had. L's voice inside him gave him strength, he will defeat Kira for L's and the world's sake!


It was now near noon. L watched a deer outside the house, eating leaves that had fallen to the ground. His grandmother went to the middle of the forest to gather food for them to eat. He went out of the house while slowly making his way to the animal. The said deer froze in fear. He cooed as he got closer…he slowly reached out his hand and slowly but carefully patted the deer's head. L smiled and gathered leaves in his hand. Hesitating, the deer ate the leaves.

Misuzu arrived to see that L was patting a deer's head while laughing. She smiled, looks like he doesn't need her help. L's laugh attracted other animals. There were bunnies, birds, squirrels, and mostly all of them are wolves. The smaller animals cringed when the wolves arrived. Ushio, in L's womb, kicked and surprised him. His eyes softened when the white wolf made its way to L. Those calculating cold yellow eyes of the wolf studying L's moves. L reached out a hand, smiling sweetly. The wolf made slow steps until he reached the fingers and palm of L's hand. L slowly hugged the animal into his neck while scratching its ears, earning a pleasured growl from the white wolf. The other wolves made their way until he was surrounded by wolves. He acknowledged the small animals to come near him with the wolves. The smaller animals made their way to him and after a few moments, the smaller animals were no longer afraid of the predators.

L and Misuzu watched the wolves and the rabbits play while the deer and the squirrels were like having an eating contest. Both of them smiled, happy to see the animals comfortable with each other. All of them came to their directions, pleading with their eyes to be patted. Misuzu carried two bunnies in her arms while L was scratching the alpha wolf's ears. The wolf lied to the ground, feet paddling as L continued to scratching the wolf's ears.

Afternoon came and all of them left. L watched the animals go home while still playing with each other. L was happy, seeing animals conquering their fears in their superior animals was unmistakably content. He was also glad that Ushio kept on kicking inside him which he found comforting. But his grief of thinking he'll lose Shio-chan and Light didn't make it all go away so for now, he'll try to be happy for Ushio's sake.


Light climbed to his lover's little bed. The pillows and the sheets smelled like him…strawberries and sweet dangos that made him think of heaven… He slowly cried, getting frustrated. He wanted to find L now and caress the big bump where his dear child is currently residing. He wanted to find them and bring them back to safety. He thought of how L has gone disappearing to thin air. L was just there and he knew it. They even prepared stuff that tiny Ushio will need!

His thoughts about his lover drifted in his mind and the voice of his beloved sweetheart in his memories lulled him to sleep…

I t was noon and a certain brunette was hungry, his stomach growling. He went to the kitchen and Light was surprised on what he saw. There in front of him, wearing a pink apron, was L. he was cooking food! Light was amazed, L cooked?! The aroma of the food L cooked lingered in the air, capturing the attentions of the starving taskforce members. All of them sat down on the table while L watched them glomped on the food he cooked. The taskforce happily ate while L watched them smiling so adorably, his heart content on the sight he saw in front of him.

The foods L made were absolutely and divinely delicious! It was even better from the restaurant cooks! Like Light, everyone was thunderstruck. They'd rather work overtime as long as they have good food like this! When they were done, L dismissed the taskforce members from the kitchen while he cleaned the kitchen. Light didn't come back to his computer, he was too busy admiring his lover, performing a role of a loving and caring wife.

Light persisted that he would help L but his pregnant lover, who happened to be in his 4th month, insisted that Light has done so much for him and this was the way that he thought he could repair his protective lover, being a lover, a wife and a mother even though the baby was not yet born and also the fact that he was younger than the taskforce members.

Light found himself being lucky to have L. His judgment about the detective was wrong. He thought that L was heartless and rude, but he was so wrong! SO DEEPLY MISTAKEN! He discovered more and more of the detective when he was opening up to him and again, he was happy. He could have never thought that the one who'll always touch and warm Light's cold heart is L but he didn't care for anymore reasons…


2 days later

L was panting so hard that he couldn't almost breathe. His little Ushio wanted to come out and he had never experienced something this painful. Misuzu arrived with a bowl of hot water while L was on the old bed, screaming and clutching tightly on the sheets. Tears clouded his mind, he was crying because of two reasons. He was crying tears of joy because Ushio going to come out but he was also crying because after he delivers his baby, he'll have to give Ushio up to Misa.

"Breathe, young child…Breath…NOW PUSH!" Misuzu exclaimed as she assisted the baby on the passageway. L kept on pushing with all his might, hands unconsciously ripping the sheets. He paused to breathe, thinking about Light comforting him. He does his best to push and push and push until…

He hears a baby's wailing…

L's tired eyes forced itself to open only to find a bloodied baby. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to regain his normal breathing pattern. He feels something that's nudging his arms only to see a clean plump baby, crying and squirming, finding its way to its mother.

"Yu-chan, you did it! It's a healthy baby girl! Oh, she looks just like you, my dear!" Misuzu acclaimed, watching the baby stopped crying when she reached her mother's fragile form. L smiled softly while crying. His Ushio-chan is a girl like he guessed and she almost inherited her father's traits. Brown hair, slightly pale and the way his baby behaves, it was all Light's traits. Ushio opens a little bit of her eyes, squinting until she sees her mother's exhausted face. L cried even more, she also has Light's amber eyes.

L cradled the child with love and care in his arms while kissing the cheeks and the forehead of Ushio, admiring every details of his dear baby. Unknown to him, snow started to fall, covering the world with its whiteness, covering the ugly face of nature with white. MIsuzu notices but remained silent, reminding her of her daughter's and grandson's birth. She turns her attention back to L, who was caressing Ushio lovingly. His eyes softened while humming his favorite lullaby to her…the Dango Daikazoku 「だんご大家族」.

It made Misuzu's heart break seeing such a nurturing mother trying to spend his time with her before giving her up to this evil woman. She hated this woman! Whoever this woman is, she will definitely slap her until she dies! Misuzu didn't care if it was murder; all she cared was her grandson's happiness. She was determined to do anything to make L happy even though right now, he was losing it from his grasp.

L then stood up weakly and struggled to balance himself, Ushio still in his arms. He was now giving her up; it was the only way he knew to save his newborn baby. Misuzu took the baby while L tried to dress himself up. After he finished wearing a scarf and a sweater on him, he took the baby, wrapped in pink fluffy short blanket, keeping the baby warm despite the weather.


Misa was in her living room, it has been two days since Light talked to her. She was so confused! Why hadn't Light order her to judge people like he always does when he's Kira. It was unusual, maybe Light has gotten rid of Kira using L's love. Steam spurted out of her ears and nose at the thought of L. She threw a vase in her sound-proof wall of her new apartment while Rem watched her.

She then heard a knock, Misa warily made her way to the door while peeking through the peephole. She almost wanted to laugh to see who it was on her door. It was L, face flushed and carrying something in his arms that Misa thought as the baby.

She opened the door, a sadistic grin painted on her comely face. She found out that L was alone and the thing that L was carrying is the baby, squirming to find a better position to sleep in her mother's arms. Misa frowned when she saw the sleuth started to cry. God, how she wanted to kill him right there!

She snatched the baby, resulting an ear-piercing wailing from the baby. The baby squirmed in her arms; L reaches out his pointy finger for Ushio to hold and at that, the baby stopped crying. As she was about to close the door, L stopped her for a while. L took his scarf and wrapped it in the baby's body. "It's…just a way for not letting her make any noise, her name's Ushio" L said and at that, the door was slammed in his face.

L burst into tears, unable to hold them back. Covering his face, he went back to the forest where his grandmother was waiting. Even if it hurt giving his dear baby up, he was happy. She was now saved, Ushio would never have to bear the burden that her mother casted upon her. A burden lifted from her and also from Light, they would now be free, they're not going to have to bear the truth of L's decision.

As he arrived back to the house, his face and eyes were red from crying so hard. When Misuzu saw him, she wrapped her arms around her grandson, attempting to comfort him for his loss. L helplessly sobbed in his grandmother's dress and spilled all of his worries away. Misuzu also cried, knowing the feeling of sacrificing something – or someone – important in order for it to be saved. They cried through the whole snowy night.


Light arrives to Misa's apartment, wanting to talk to her about L. As he knocked on her door, he heard a cry that was definitely from a baby's. He waited Misa to open the door for about ten freaking minutes. As she approached the door, he pushed her out of his way and searched through the kitchen, the living room, the dining room, the bedroom and finally on the bathroom. He saw a slightly pale plump baby in Misa's bathroom, arms squirming and crying. He slowly approached the baby and touched her cheek softly. The baby stopped crying and leant into his touch.

Light was speechless. It reminded him of L, the way the baby leant into his touch is the way how L would lean into him when he caresses his soft hair. The hair of the baby is as the same shade like his, the skin a little bit of tan and a little bit of pale, the eyes of the baby while squinting. It was also the same color as his. Right then he knew it! This was Ushio, their baby…their baby girl…

He angrily turned towards Misa, who was frowning. "A hello would have been nice…" she blurted. He flashed his angry eyes at her and scowled. He carried Ushio in his arms protectively. He would not let her touch his baby with his oh so sweet L…now that he thought of it, L could be here somewhere but when he searched when he heard Ushio crying earlier, he didn't find him.

"Where's L?"

"Light, listen to me. He-"

"Just tell me where he is!"

"Listen to me first! I…I don't know! He l-left that baby outside! A-as I-I was a-about to call out to him, h-he just l-left! Yes! He left the baby in the cold! I-"

Light's piercing amber eyes hit down to her whole being.

"Where is he?"



At that, Ushio started to cry again. Light looked down on her, reminding of L's intolerance of trouble. He slowly stroked her 'lanugo'(baby hair), calming her down. Light left Misa's apartment in a jiffy and went back to the headquarters' building.

When he arrived, Matsuda and the others were shocked to see Light holding a little bundle of joy. Watari recognized the baby easily and announced that the baby Light was currently holding was his and L's. Most of the taskforce gasped and they were pushed away by Soichiro, who grew excited hearing that it was his son's and L's baby.

He carefully grabbed the baby and carried it into his arms. The baby giggled softly, reminding both Light and Watari of L's giggle. Soichiro was shocked to see the baby he was holding almost had all of Light's characteristics. The other taskforce members slowly went beside the chief and cooed on the child, who appeared to be enjoying the attention.

After the whole day, Light and Soichiro brought Ushio to their house. Sayu and Sachiko were happy but sad to the fact that L was missing. Light knew Misa was lying, he could tell by the way she stuttered on her words and the way her eyes looked at somewhere else, not looking at him in the eye when she reasoned with him. He swore that if something happened to L, he's going to kill Misa.

It was also a good thing that he defeated Kira. It was all thanks to his L, because of him, he accomplished defeating Kira. At the thought of L, Light was comforted and hurt. L was the only one who understood him and loved him not just because of his looks. He was hurt because Ushio has to grow up without him, unless…

He has to marry Misa for Ushio's sake, which he never wanted to do…

But for now, he'll wait for L to show up; L would come out and come back into his arms again. L would be happy in his side again. Then he would marry L and be a complete family…

But for now, all Light could do was hope as he gazes to Ushio's form on his bed. Sleeping on the bed peacefully, very much like L…