Sara's diary

"Don't worry Mrs. O'Neill, AMEE isn't a MALP, she won't let a few Jaffa stop her. She'll find your husband." I know Second Lieutenant Aiden Ford was trying to be comforting, but it wasn't working. Aiden is a sweet boy, an asset to SG-3, but his words seem hollow when we don't know what's going on there.

When SG-1, sans Jack and Jenny, came back through the gate in an apparent fire fight with Jaffa, only to insist that they go back to rescue them, it was fine. It was when they insisted on going back for some Lieutenant Tyler that things went south. We didn't know of a Tyler. No-one has ever heard of a Tyler, but to hear Drey'auc, Sam, Daniel or Teal'c talk about him, one would think we were the crazy ones and not them.

Sha're was taking it particularly hard and she tried not to look accusingly at me from time to time. I know she didn't mean to. I had talked her into staying behind. Suggesting that maybe Daniel didn't want his wife on the firing line with him.

It wasn't precisely fair to her as her culture inclined her to be the stay at home kind of wife. A wife, a woman, just doesn't go out to fight on Abydos. The fact Sha're even fired a gun when she and Daniel met, during that raid on Ra was amazing and she told me how she didn't really hit much.

It was how she ended up dying for the first time when the Jaffa she fired at, in turn fired and hit her.

Yet she wasn't afraid to go out to fight, and I didn't even try to talk to her in that vein. Only in the one of how Danial might appreciate her safe and waiting for him, like I do with Jack. That had convinced her.

She couldn't find any faults in Jack's life and right then I couldn't bring myself to point out any number of reasons why one shouldn't think Jack O'Neill the perfect man.

Well, beyond why I think he's my perfect man.

"When the UAV is launched, AMEE will also rush in through the gate. She's pretty good at dodging staff fire," Aiden was going on trying to assure me, "And I understand that Airman Robinson is prepping Big Blue, uhm, Robby ma'am." I nearly chuckled then, as I knew full well who Big Blue was.

Maureen's son was working at putting Robby back together after a recent overhaul of what systems he still recalled how they worked. Robby would go in next after AMEE and the UAV had a good look around.

"There she goes!" Aiden shouted enthusiastically and I was heartened really. AMEE was no K-9 or Robby, but she had been very useful with SG teams, she found Daniel when he was kidnapped by the Unas.

She'll find Jack and Jenny, then Robby will be sent in to secure the area until we find out what's going on with this supposed Lt. Tyler and what made SG-1 believe he was real.

Drey'auc's day

We were betrayed. Yet we will still fight for the alien who tricked us because that is the right thing to do. Because it is what O'Neill would do. He has already done it and continues to do it despite his dislike of it.

It was very uncomfortable to have had one's sanity doubted. To have even Sara not believe us hurt in a way no real wound every could. Yet when we found out our memories were false and induced by some chemical it was induced a rage that made it very difficult to enter the state of Kel no'reem.

Naturally after Janet had found out what was the cause of our false memory. This had General Hammond let us follow Robby and AMEE to go to Jenny and O'Neill's rescue and find the alien who did this to us.

I will say the battle was fierce and did much to, as Sara would say, blow off steam, with our frustration over the alien and how it made us act and look to our friends back at the SGC.

It was even better when O'Neill lead us to the downed udajeet and had the Ma'Tok cannons removed for my husband and I to use. There was a kind of liberating feeling each time I was able to fire it. Each pull of the trigger was a release of more of the frustration that had built up in me from not being believed.

Even more when I realized I was tricked.

Flanking Robby, Teal'c and I were able to force the Jaffa back instead of us running from them.

It made SG-2's and 3's arrival to complete the ... pinching, no pincer maneuver, a very satisfying end to the fight as they attacked after their entry from the Chappa'ai and the Jaffa were caught in between us.

I was proud to see Sha're come through with SG-2, using the Kara Kesh to shield a machine gun equipped FRED to establish the beachhead the rest of the teams could use to further drive the Jaffa to us.

I do not know why she had stayed behind initially, other than a talk she had with Sara. I can see that Danial Jackson is not happy she came through with SG-2.

Sha're's story

"I will not stay behind any longer Dan'yel," I wish he would listen to reason. The one mission I did stay behind my Dan'yel was tricked by that alien Kaiael into believing it was this Lieutenant Tyler.

Yet I see him set his jaw, that line of lips, the look in his eyes. I wonder if this is worth pushing for right now. I know it is worth pushing for now that I have a Kara Kesh with a shield.

I do not like the demon's technology, but if it will protect Dan'yel and the others, how could I not use it?

"You use Zat'nik'tel, so how could you tell me to not use the Kara Kesh or a healing device. Do you not want me to look after you Dan'yel?" an unfair question as of course he does. We both know he should not be alone. I will try to soften this talk, "Besides, we are only going with Kaiael back to his people the Reol with SG-9."

It is, as Dan'yel would say, a change of subject, a peace offering as Sara would say.

"SG-1 is not going with SG-9 Sha're," Dan'yel tries another way to talk me into not going with him, "I'm just going to study their language and culture. I'm also a familiar face to Kaiael."

"Jack is going then? He spent the longest time with him," and I know Jack is not. Jack has not forgiven Kaiael for deceiving him. He understands why Kaiael did, but does not like it.

"You know he's not, which is why I have to go. Sha're, be reasonable-"

"I am," cutting him off is not polite, but we are talking in circles, "This is not like rescuing you, Jack and the others. You did appreciate my coming along and cooking for you when we were with SG-16 didn't you?"

I see my Dan'yel sigh and give in. The subject is far from closed, but for now, I will go with him to meet the Reol and talk of an alliance. I know a buried gate will not stop the demons as they have ships to come from space. Even if they don't know right now where one lives, eventually they will come.

It is better to stop them now than wait and hope as my people had done. It did not stop the demons from coming to us eventually, it will not stop them from Kaiael's people either as the Re'tu will attest as well.

Chakehalaote will come along with us as a representative of the Re'tu to further convince Kaiael's people to not hide. It is only together that we will face the demons and win against them.

Alone not one of us are a match for them.

Taking Dan'yel's hand, I feel in his hold that warmth that says no matter the future we will face it together.

Sara's Summary

I think Sha're forgives me. I know when she decided to go with SG-2 I didn't say a single word against it. I don't have the authority to do so, but often she has looked to me as well as Jack for direction.

I will say it was easier dealing with the series of hearing a returning Simmons held than with Sha're. I don't know what he as after, but from what Sam says it seems he had been spying on the SGC for a while and seems to be out to remove General Hammond from of his job of leading the SGC.

I owe the General for the non-disclosure agreement he let Jack give to me to sign. I wouldn't be here without him. Jack and I wouldn't have gotten back together without them.

Yet with all of that, I find this breach between Sha're and I to loom in my mind more.