Dear fanfiction,

It has come to my attention that you presume I have an...incestuous relationship with Aro, whom I refer to and consider as my brother.

CEASE THIS AT ONCE!

Aro shook hands with one of you yaoi fan girls three months ago-and he's STILL in a coma! WHAT GOES ON THROUGH YOUR SICK HEADS, YOU SCARY HUMANS!?

Love, Caius