Because I don't think I'm the only one to have thought of this, and that the latest chapters are more like awesome fanservice than anything.
"Tonight, you will be fighting the first one on the list: a white wedding kimono that wanders throughout the school campus in the middle of the night," Yukio instructed the Cram Class. It was the first time in three days that he'd met with the students as a class; he hoped they hadn't forgotten all they'd learned in that break, but knew that it was probably too much to ask for. With Suguro, and perhaps Kamiki, he didn't doubt that they had at least spent some of the time studying up, and perhaps he could add Konekomaru to that list as well. The rest of them, well. Excluding Takara, who was a special case, Shima was always too laid back to put any extra effort in, Shiemi was a bit too bubble headed, and Rin…
He supposed Rin hadn't forgotten anything over the break, if only because he hadn't learned anything in the first place.
Yes, despite his best efforts, his older brother still had yet to get it through his thick skull that if he didn't start putting some serious effort into his studies, he was going to be executed. The exorcist exam wasn't exactly easy, Yukio knew, even for one with his exemplary study habits, and it was going to be that much harder for Rin, who retained information worse than a worm. Worms don't have brains.
But it was Rin, after all, and Yukio wouldn't give up on him that easily. Well, wouldn't give up on prolonging his life, at least. It was hard to believe sometimes that there was a chance Rin would actually be able pass the test, with his test scores being a record low and his attitude about the whole situation so half-assed it made Yukio want to pull out his guns and do some target practice, with Rin as the target. He wouldn't actually die from it, and it would be a great stress reliever for Yukio.
'Whaaaat? The teacher didn't give you an A? She's crazy!' A ten year old Rin raises his fists as if physically harming the teacher and possibly anyone else who got in the way would fix his brother's shortcomings. Rin is more upset by the outcome than Yukio is, and Yukio wonders how much his brother's grades would improve if he spent half as much time on his own studies as he does worrying about Yukio.
A slightly embarrassed Yukio smiles and places his hands over Rin's to calm him down. He can't tell his older twin that his first slightly lower grade in years was caused only by the late night hunting demons right before the test.
Yukio had been tormented by demons his whole life, but he didn't blame Rin for what he was, what they were. He wasn't stupid. He knew that, even though Rin was the one that got the flames, fangs, and tail, Yukio had and equal amount of demon in him. In personality, and in blood…though the latter would remain a well-guarded secret for as long as he could help it.
And it wasn't that Yukio didn't care for Rin, or didn't like him or anything like that; in fact, quite the opposite. If anyone knew just how much he cared for him, much more than could be appropriate in any familial relationship, they would most likely be disgusted. It would certainly not help either of them in their current predicament.
There was never a time Rin hadn't been there for him, believed in him. It only frustrated Yukio that, despite the years of training, all he had accomplished, he never seemed to be able to do the same.
"The white kimono is the ghost of a bride who's still wearing her wedding gown. She attacks men who notice her; she doesn't seem to go near women, though," he described, looking over to make sure they were all listening.
Kamiki's shout alerted them to the ghost, and then it was out of Yukio's hands. He stood back and watched as his students formulated a plan, and then watched as it all went to hell.
Rin approached the kimono-clad figure as the three arias-in-training prepared incantations. The ghost turned at his call, revealing…
A teenage girl, approximately the same age as the students.
The dress covered all of the girl's features but her face, which was weepy and somewhat oily. Her nondescript glasses were slightly fogged up, but she didn't seem to notice. Her eyes, though, were almost painfully wide, brimming with tears as her face screwed into a rather unattractive wail.
Yukio felt it, the fearful cramps, the cold sweat. He knew what this girl was. He faced them every day at school, ran from them, avoided their adoring voices, their cooking, their feelings.
"Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! It's a cute boy!"
It was a fangirl.
Yukio was suddenly thankful that he had already received the title of exorcist, because he could just shove the whole situation onto his students with the excuse that it's for their education. He wouldn't get within twenty feet of the fangirl, not if he could help it.
Unfortunately for him, he couldn't help it.
"Let me love you!" The ghost, with the discovery of Rin, promptly charged at him with vicious grabby hands, seeking to throw her arms around him. He held her back with a single clawed hand to her face, looking as freaked out as Yukio felt.
"Hey, what the –"
The girl appeared to be attempting to french his hand, her tongue sliding across the sensitive skin of his palm and sticking in between his fingers, leaving a visibly wet trail in the process.
Rin, who had absolutely freaked the fuck out by then, recoiled quicker than anyone'd ever seen him move, snatching his hand and hopping back, accidentally dropping his sword in the process. Yukio didn't even blame him for carelessly losing his weapon; the situation warranted any and all action in reprehending the ghost. Any and all. As long as that thing was put out of its misery, or more like out of Yukio's misery.
"H-hey guys, a little help?" Rin beseeched the trio a ways behind him, slowly backing away from the girl as she advanced again. Takara had long since abandoned them, muttering something about idiots and not worth his time, walking away with that creepy doll of his.
They seemed to have abandoned any thought of chanting the ghost away, the three of them looking mildly disgusted while edging away from Rin and the girl. Bon and Konekomaru pulled out some seals and Shima raised his staff. None of them looked as eager to face the opponent as they did only a few minutes before.
"Sorry Rin, we don't have anything that has even a chance of worki –ah!" The warning was all Rin got before the fangirl pounced again. Of course, being Rin, his demonic reflexes caused him to grab the girl as she stumbled into him, and his fear of being touched by her led her to throw her as far as he could, thus eliminating the only possibility of him ever being touched by a girl in that way, a thought that would have made Yukio smirk on the outside and bust his guts on the inside, if the airborne girl hadn't landed right. Next. To. Him.
He had a bout of good luck though, as the ghost somehow didn't notice him, instead rushing back to Rin. However, she ran into Shima first. At the first sign of protest from him in the form of his waving staff, she screamed, eerily akin to a banshee, and grabbed the staff, hefting it and Shima with an amazing strength for a dead girl. He flew past Yukio and landed on Kamiki with a painful smacking sound. Neither of them got back up.
Rin in the meantime was making his way back over in concern for his friends. The ghost mistook this for him coming back for her with some kind of undying love and affection, and emitted a ghastly squeal while throwing herself at him yet again.
The girl knocked out Konekomaru on the way but was hindered by a quick seal thrown by Bon. It threw her backwards again, this time landing on Shiemi and knocking her out as well. Yukio was slightly concerned at the rate his students were falling unconscious, but resolved not to step in unless the situation became too serious. Normally he would have helped out by now, checking the unconscious' conditions and making sure they didn't have concussions or anything, but he didn't want to gain the attention of the fangirl. It was a matter of his own safety. If he was incapacitated then he wouldn't be able to help them recover after it was over. Really, it was for the good of the students.
Yukio pressed himself into the wall behind him as best he could without seeming like he was afraid –ha! the thought! The ghost rose from her position on Shiemi's face and approached Rin yet again, as apparently Bon's stunning physique and rebellious cock-like hairdo weren't as attractive to her as Rin's smaller frame and pointy ears. And tail. Can't forget the tail.
The girl latched herself onto Rin against his wishes, automatically lathering and slathering her loving saliva across his face and neck. He jumped back a forth, trying to pull her off, but to no avail. The inheritance of Satan's strength and power was no match for this fangirl. Her feelings were just too strong.
They were quickly running out of options as Bon, a safe distance away, muttered out as many incantations as he could think of, but none of them had any effect. He looked to Rin at a loss, sorry that his friend had to go through something like that, but glad that it wasn't him nonetheless.
"Okay…uh…" Rin looked around for anything that could help, seeing only his brother but knowing that asking for help would be like failing the assignment. Rin had too many bad grades as it was. He struggled to come up with something as he tried pushing the girl's face off of him. It worked for a time, until her tongue came out again and his hand was forced to retreat from the abuse lest he start to gag.
"Uh…Um! Are you okay?" Rin asked the fangirl desperately.
The girl, to everyone's surprise, stopped her obsessive slobbering she might have been mistaking for kissing to look at Rin, wide eyed and confused.
"Am I…okay?" she clarified, like no one had ever asked her that before.
Rin nodded emphatically, ecstatic that it seemed to be working. "Yeah, I mean, you're crying and seem really…sad about something. Did you have any…unresolved conflicts or anything?"
With any luck, he could talk his way out of it, and then they would all be able to go home and forget this night ever happened.
The girl took another moment to blink at him blankly before clasping her arms around his neck tighter than before.
"I just have so many…feels!" she sobbed into his neck, further dampening his skin with tears and he didn't want to think about what else, making him cringe. 'What's a feel?' he mouthed to Bon over the girl's head, but the aria could only raise his hands in equal confusion. Maybe one of the girls could have helped him there, but neither of them were conscious at that moment.
"Can you…tell me about them?" Rin fished, hoping she would be emotional enough to overlook his complete discomfort with the situation.
Yes, it really was that easy. "I-I just wanted it so bad to be real and it hurts so much inside and I couldn't stop even when everyone told me to and then I couldn't think about anything else and I forgot about my friends and all I did was eat and cry, and I just couldn't stop! Even now I can't help myself, all I want to do is smother you and write fanfiction about you because you're so attractive even though I have no idea who you are!" She was spewing words as fast as her mouth could move, pausing only to let out hiccupping sobs. When she was done she was almost hyperventilating. At least she wasn't still trying to slobber all over him. Intentionally.
"Well, uh…what about the kimono?" If she didn't keep talking, he didn't know what would happen. As of yet the solution to the problem hadn't revealed itself, but it was only a matter of time. Hopefully.
Yukio sighed, mentally preparing himself as he began to make his way towards his suffering brother. He wished he could just leave, or that someone else would magically fix the problem for him. He'd spent the better part of a decade training for this kind of situation and still dreaded it with all his existence. Why did it have to be a fangirl. The universe was out for his sanity.
The wails increased exponentially in volume and pitch. "It's the dress of the girl in my favorite anime! And she was wearing at the wedding but then she found out her fiancé was actually gay and was conflicted because she still loved him but was overcome with dramatic feels at the sight of her fiancé having such a romantic relationship with another man and I felt such a strong connection with me and the girl and," she paused to gulp in a breath, "I was cosplaying her and had finally convinced two other cosplayers dressed as my OTP to reenact my favorite scene. And then I would have died with happiness but it-it ended before I could see it happen!" She broke down into her endless whiny sobs.
Not only was she a fangirl, she was a yaoi fangirl. Yukio felt an even worse sinking feeling in his abdomen.
"Well, is there anything we can do? To help you…move on, or whatever?" No, Rin! Don't ask her that!
And then it happened.
The fangirl whipped her head up and Rin, fearing for the safety of his face, raised his hand again to let her face smash into it, and somewhere in all that a drop of liquid flew. It could have been the girl's tears, or saliva, or nose juices, or even Rin's sweat. It transversed a great distance of about three feet and stuck with amazing accuracy to the left size of Yukio's glasses.
Yukio, who, out of the goodness of his heart, had come to save his brother and pry him apart from the leech, found himself with an eyeful of stuff, and it was only with the years of experience he had controlling his body that he was able to stifle his gagging and not puke up his dinner all over the pair.
As it limited his ability to see, Yukio was forced to take one hand off his guns to remove his glasses. At that small distance he would be able to see well enough. At that fateful moment, however, the girl glanced up from her spot smothered in Rin's neck and Yukio's luck in not being noticed ran out.
The girl did a double take, taking in Yukio's face and then leaning back to refresh herself of Rin's features, and then did it again. Rin took the opportunity to scrub the sleeve of his jacket across his neck, cringing as the action only succeeded in removing a small portion of the liquid and smeared the rest.
Yukio saw her hesitation and paused the small distance from his brother, free hand poised on his handgun.
"You guys are…brothers?" she asked.
"Yeah, we're twins." Poor, naïve Rin, bless his soul, but Yukio had never felt like strangling his brother more than at that moment.
"Twins?" The girl looked back and forth a few more times before timidly releasing her arms from Rin's neck, finally.
"Does that mean…twincest?" The girl asked innocently, but Yukio could identify the predatory gleam in her eyes. It was worse than he thought.
Screw Rin, he could deal with this himself. Yukio aborted the mission and began retreating as quickly as he had come, resolving to glorify Rin as a martyr, a worthy sacrifice to ensure Yukio's sanity.
The girl couldn't have one of her victims getting away that easily though. A quick snatch of his tie and Rin's as well, just in case, had them tethered to her, unless they wanted to risk choking themselves in the process of escaping.
"H-hey, Yukio, you're going to help us out of this…right?" Rin pleaded helplessly. Surely his brother would take pity on his failing students and end the assignment.
Unfortunately for both of them, bullets did absolutely nothing to stop the ghost. She was already dead, after all.
"The one thing I've always wanted," the girl began, pulling the two by their ties until they were all face to face to face, "even more than seeing the fateful wedding of my canon OTP…"
She relinquished her grip on their clothing only to snatch them up by their hair. "Now, KISS!" The twins found their faces being smooshed together with the seemingly all-powerful strength of the fangirl. Rin thought he would rather be back getting his ass kicked by Amaimon, and Yukio could only find optimism in that at least Shura wasn't there to make it worse.
Yukio managed to hold the ghost away from him and protect his face from Rin's. If bullets, sutras, and talking the problem out of her didn't work, then there was only one thing…Yukio sighed, feeling the anxiety of the outcome like a weight upon his willpower. He should've just called in sick when he'd had the chance.
"So you're saying, if we kiss, the unresolved feelings holding you here will go away?" Yukio dreaded the answer.
"Wait –what? Yukio!" Rin called, a bit distraught. Was Yukio seriously considering going along with this?
The girl nodded enthusiastically. "Since I've rejected any real world connections, I've been able to do a lot of self-reflection!"
Yukio untangled the hand pulling at the roots of his hair and took hold of his brother's collar.
"Okay, Rin, hold still," he directed, sighing with an outwardly calm demeanor. After all, he could very well rationalize that it was apparently the easiest way to get rid of the ghost and, regardless of the fact that they were both guys and brothers, they should be willing to do such a thing without reserve, for the sake of the exorcism.
"Hey, wait a –you can't just decide this on your own!" Rin, who was still struggling in the ghost's hold, tried with all his might to pull away from his brother's grip as well. He wondered if Mephisto had put something in his ramen that night, and if it was all some kind of terrible joke or dream.
"Wait!" the girl screeched. The twins ceased movement, wincing as their ears were subjected to that horrible abuse.
"I will only be satisfied if it's good! And–"
"Fine," Yukio interrupted. He really wanted to get this over with.
"It has to be at least two, no, three minutes long, and–"
"Okay," he tried again, ignoring the glare given by the girl at his repeated interruption.
Rin, by this time, had figured that with the odds currently against him at two against one, though he couldn't understand for the life of him why Yukio would actually want to kiss him, he didn't have a good chance of getting out of the situation. He reasoned with himself that it wouldn't be very long, and it wasn't like it would mean anything; they were brothers, that was crazy. He supposed could stand to have his mouth in contact with Yukio's for a little bit, so he prepared himself for a very awkward few minutes that would hopefully be worth it if they finally got to leave after and never think about the assignment ever again.
And with that admission, Rin forgot about everything for which he had steeled himself a moment before and resolved to find a way out of there no matter what. There was no way he could…make out with his brother, certainly not for that amount of time and certainly not with people watching!
Even Yukio looked put off by that stipulation. The ghost, seeing that her victims were close to backing out, hastily came up with a Plan B.
"If you don't, the only way to get me to leave is if you both kiss me instead! So I can…compare!"
The twins, bearing identical faces of wide-eyed incredulous disgust, looked at her and saw only the snot continuously running from her nose and the tears stuck to the frames of her greasy glasses. Rin finally found a way to throw off the hand stuck in his scalp and, by reflex, grabbed hold of the front of his brother's shirt, shifting closer to avoid the torment of the fangirl's lips. Yukio, or the rabid fangirl. It really wasn't that hard of a decision.
When Yukio's eyes met his, though, a bit too close for brotherly comfort, Rin shrunk back again. The teal eyes, without the usual protection of his glasses, bored into Rin, seemingly finding his soul and sending flames throughout. Not the physical ones, the blue flames that Rin had been rendered too freaked to summon, but inner flames, flames full of heat and the emotions the Yukio never let himself show. The unusual coloring of his irises was further amplified by the way his eyebrows were slightly scrunched, expressing the apprehension that both of them were certainly feeling and…
Shit. Rin couldn't do it. There was no way he was going to be able to lean in and –he couldn't even think it. He chickened out, wondering if it was too late to throw himself off the side of a building.
In the end, it was Rin's hair that decided it. Yukio chose that very dramatic moment to notice that his brother's hair was styled differently than usual. He faintly recalled the students mentioning it earlier but hadn't bothered with something so trivial at that time. It had been slicked back, as much as one could tame the bedhead he usually carried around, and it was rather refreshing to be able to view the clear skin unhindered. The majority of it had fallen out of the style in the duration of the assignment, though. Yukio saw another lock fall out of place with a tilt of Rin's head, landing on his forehead, a bit off center.
The younger twin felt the urge to swipe the lock of hair back, to clear the unblemished face from its dark cut. The hand not holding Rin's collar reached out, presumably with the intention to do so, but when he found that the hand was headed lower, towards his twin's chin, he didn't stop it. The hand grasped the side of the smooth cheek, bringing the face closer and raising it. Yukio was only aware of the shock on his brother's face as their lips finally met.
At this point, Bon, who had stayed back with the thought that the teacher would take care of the problem, assumed that he had actually taken a hit on his head somewhere and subsequently fell onto the ground, waiting for the perceived hallucination to end.
Yukio's eyes fell closed, taking in the moment. Rin's lips were a little chapped but he found that he liked the roughness, the way it felt when they rubbed against his. It was no more than a gentle and innocent press, but it felt like so much more. It was a connection between the two, one that hadn't been discovered before. A few moments in, Rin seemed to give up all restraint, tightening the grip he had on his brother's shirt and pressing forward ever so slightly. Their lips slid together softly, just feeling each other, the closeness, the bond they had only with each other and never with anyone else. Rin's found purchase over Yukio's bottom lip and he daringly pulled, slightly sucking it into his mouth with a soft, breathy sound before breaking away for a breath of air.
And then it was like an electric charge had gone off. Rin was pulled back in with a sense of urgency, and lips met again, fervently, as if those few minutes were the only chance they would ever have to be with each other in this way. Mindful of the ghost's conditions, Yukio sucked at the other's mouth, nibbling a bit before sliding his tongue over the entrance. Rin's mouth opened, his tongue coming out to meet his brother's, emitting a soft but audible moan as they collided, dancing over and under each other until Yukio's found its way fully in.
Rin tasted of freshness, like those popsicles he loves to tortuously suck on but with a spicy edge, something that you think you can understand and control but turns out to be completely unique and powerful. The younger brother's tongue slid past Rin's lips, delving into the warm cavern and exploring the untested waters. The digit proceeded cautiously around the razor sharp fangs, barely brushing past the tips in search of less dangerous rewards, but was more confident in its quest farther in. It pushed past Rin's tongue, batting it away and swirling under it playfully when it attempted to fight back. Yukio mapped out the entirety of his twin's mouth but still wasn't content; he wanted more.
His tongue retreated, flicking past the sharp teeth once again to encourage the demon's tongue to follow, which it did. Yukio's lips closed around the warm, wet digit, his own reaching out to graze the tip before his lips tightened and he sucked, feeling the gratification of Rin's tortuous groan down to his core and below. The hand that was holding Rin's collar slipped down, finding a place around his trim waist, boldly slipping a bit lower, past the slim hips exposed by the unruly sag of his pants and around to rest just above the curve of that ass, the one that had Yukio too distracted and hot and bothered whenever he was forced to watch Rin in action.
Rin was lost in everything that was Yukio, the feel of his mouth and hands, the passion he could feel just below his fingertips, and even the scent of gunpowder still lingering on his clothes. His tongue and teeth loved his brother, teasing and rubbing and biting as his free hand made contact with Yukio's chest, sliding up his smooth neck into his slightly mussed hair, pausing to finger a small mole hidden behind his ear. He absentmindedly thought that the kiss felt so natural, perfect, that he was stupid for attempting to refuse it earlier. Kissing Yukio was like being submerged in water, drowning but not quite willing to surface. He roughly pulled the younger closer by his hair until they were chest to chest, relishing in the rather high pitched gasp the resulted.
It was well past the three minutes agreed upon, but if it weren't for the achingly familiar squeal from right next to them, they most likely would have gone on like that for a very long time after. As it was, however, the noise that came out of the fangirl's mouth was enough to startle them apart, Rin stumbling back until he fell. The ghost's hands were covering her tear stained face; the nearly psychotic painful happiness on her face was clearly the reason for the sound. Her feels had reached the critical stage and had just become too much for her. True to her word, she began fading away. She had achieved the ultimate freedom, and good for her. When she had completely disappeared, all that was left to prove her existence was a malevolent looking puddle of tears and feelings where she had once stood.
Yukio surveyed what was left of his class. The ones that had been knocked unconscious before had yet to awake, Takara was still MIA, Bon was laying on the floor, smacking his hands into his head and moaning "Why won't it stop?" over and over, and Rin was looking around, disorientated, like they'd all gone crazy and didn't know which one to start stabbing first.
Yukio felt the ulcers in his stomach coming back.