*This story came to me while I was listening to One Sweet Day by Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men. I tweaked it and this is what I came up with. It's my first time writing angst so please be kind.
*I thank BooysBoys Ficster for cleaning up the grammar and spelling errors.
*No copyright infringement was intended. I just came up with this plot line.
My Dearest Edward,
I know that you will never read this letter that I have poured my soul into, but it somehow brings me some comfort, and it makes me feel a little closer to you by writing my feelings.
I'm sorry I never told you all I wanted to say. I was never able to bring up the courage to tell you exactly how I felt-and still feel-about you. Now it's too late to hold you, and to be with you and love you like you deserved because you've flown away; so far away.
I can't keep the tears from falling every time I think of you. When you left you took a part of me that can never be repaired. I tried to move on and be happy, but you were, and will always be, mine forever.
All I can do is hope that someday we can be together in some way. I pray that you will want me the way I want you, because I don't know If I can handle going there and you either don't want me, or aren't there at all.
Would it please you to know that I tried relationships? I tried to fall in love, but it never worked out. I could never give them my whole heart, and I think they felt that I wasn't really in love with them. I did have feelings, but it was never the love I feel for you.
Did you ever feel anything more than friendship for me? Sometimes I felt like there was something there between us, but then you would introduce me to a new girlfriend of yours and I would feel my heart break. I would just push my feelings for you down and try to continue being your friend.
I never imagined that I would have to live life without your smile. I assumed that you would always be there. I remember how you would always say, "There is somebody out there for everyone, B. You will find your forever, just have hope."
Little did you know that I found my forever in my front yard when I was six years old. A little boy walked over to me from the neighbouring yard and asked if he could play. I knew even then that was the person I wanted to spend every day with for the rest of my life. He smiled at me and said, "You're beautiful. Do you want to be my best friend?"
That little boy was you, Edward.
When you asked if I wanted to go to the prom with you because your date cancelled was one of the happiest days of my life. For one day I got to pretend that I was yours forever. When we were dancing to Shania Twain's 'From This Moment', and you leaned down and planted a soft kiss on my lips, I thought my heart would explode from happiness. Then you looked into my eyes, turned and ran outside.
I thought you were feeling sick, so I decided to give you a few minutes to yourself. When I walked outside and couldn't find you, I began to panic. Then I walked around to the back of the building and found you. You weren't alone. You were with Jessica and you were having sex with her up against the side of the building. I stood there in shock, and then Jessica saw me watching. She grinned at me and mouthed the words, "Mine now, bitch," before she screamed out her climax.
I turned and ran. It took me hours to get home. I had no money for a cab, and I didn't have a phone to call someone for a ride. I'm just glad that Charlie was at work that night, because I was a mess of emotions by the time I got back.
I didn't talk to you for weeks after that. You tried calling me-you even came to my house each day. You didn't give up, even when Charlie told you "Edward, you have upset her badly. I don't know what you did, but I think you should give her space," you still didn't stop trying.
I was finally starting to get over my heart break from you kissing me, and then finding you with Jessica, when I found out she was pregnant. I felt that our relationship was forever damaged. Oh, we continued to talk but it was never the same.
You stepped up and became the doting father I knew you would be. You joined the army and loved every moment of it. The only thing that made you happier than the army was when your son, Xavier, was born. I had never seen you love anyone the way you love him.
Then you had to move away for your work. I didn't see you very often after that but the first time you returned to town to visit Xavier, I saw you playing in the park with him and I realized that I had never stopped loving you.
I became as much a part of Xavier's life as you-especially after Jessica ran off and left him with you. We became a family, of sorts. When you were working I would take care of Xavier and make sure that the house was clean and stocked with food. Sometimes, I would catch you watching me with an odd expression on your face, but then it would be gone and you went back to being your usual charming self.
The day that you asked me if I would become a legal guardian for Xavier was both shocking and joyful. Of course, I said yes. I had grown to love that boy as if he were my own child. In a way, I guess he was. Eventually, I moved in with you and Xavier, and our little family got closer.
Do you remember that one night when Xavier was staying at Charlie's-or Gramp's house, as Xavier called him-and you had gone out drinking with Emmett and Jasper? I was having a quiet time at home and was in the kitchen making myself some tea when you walked in and wrapped your arms around me from behind and rested your chin on my shoulder. My heart was almost pounding out of my chest. I'm surprised you didn't hear it.
You asked me, "B, have I told you how special you are and what a wonderful job you are doing with Xavier?" You spun me around to face you and left your hands resting on my hips. "I would never have been able to do this on my own, B. I'm so grateful every day that you're in my life." You raised your hands and placed them on either side of my face. We stood there looking into each other's eyes when you suddenly leaned forward and placed your lips against mine.
My heart exploded with joy-just like the night at prom. You pulled back and looked into my eyes again, almost searching for something. I thought you would turn and leave the room, but all of a sudden you pressed yourself against me and kissed me with such passion, I almost passed out.
You lifted me and sat me on the counter, parting my legs and placing yourself between them. Your hands were roaming all over my body, and you were mumbling things into my shoulder and neck as you kissed me on every inch of skin you could get to.
I moaned from the absolute bliss I was feeling, and before I knew it, you swept me up in your arms and carried me to your room. Laying me on your bed, you stripped my clothes from me, before your own. The moment you started making love to me my world became so much more. I finally knew what it was like to feel and have all of you. I never knew I could be so happy.
The next morning I got up and went to shower. You were sleeping soundly, so I decided to let you rest before Xavier came home. When I was finished showering, I quickly got dressed and went down to the kitchen wanting to make you some breakfast. I danced around on air from the happiness I felt, and hope that this was the start of our forever.
You walked into the kitchen and sat at the table. I handed you a coffee, and you sat there, obviously lost in your thoughts. What you said next broke me into a million pieces, "B, did I bring someone home last night? There were women's panties on my floor when I woke up. I hope whatever I did last night didn't wake you up. The last thing you need is me keeping you up all night."
My heart broke when I realized that you didn't remember anything about what happened between us. You must have been too drunk. I quickly placed your breakfast in front of you and ran from the room. I sat alone in my room crying for hours. I thought it was finally our time to be together, only to have my hope pulled away from me again.
We slipped back into our usual routine after that day. Everything was normal until the day you got the phone call. Your father had been in an accident, and your mother needed you to come home. It made me sad that you and Xavier would be leaving, but your mom needed you.
You were gone for a few weeks. We spoke frequently and constantly emailed each other. Then, one day you called with news that hurt me more than that morning in our kitchen. You weren't coming home. Your father had been injured so badly he would never be the same again. You made the decision to move back to your home town to help your parents whenever you could.
I couldn't move there with you. Between my job and helping Charlie, I couldn't leave. We kept in contact and spoke nearly every day. Then slowly the calls and emails started to dwindle down until they were almost non-existent. By that point we were lucky if we spoke once every six months.
The years started to pass slowly. We lost contact, but I heard along the grapevine that you got married. I'm glad you found someone to love you. I would have given my soul for it to be me who married you.
Now I have come to the end of my time on this earth. I didn't want to tell you, but I found out a year ago that I have cancer. I'm sure if I had tried hard enough I would have found you, but I didn't want you to worry about me, or for it to disrupt your life. I know you would have dropped everything to come help me. After all, we have been best friends since we were six years old.
The cancer is quite aggressive and untreatable; you won't have been able to help me get better anyway. You will just watch me die, and I don't want you to have to go through that. I've been fighting it for as long as I can, but it has beaten me, Edward. I can feel myself slipping away, and I know that my time has come.
So, my love, live long, be happy, and know that I have loved you for every day that I have lived.
You were, and will always be, my forever, Edward.
A.N: This story is only going to be two chapters long. Please review and let me know what you think.